Ex-husband Leaving Child in Car

It is amazing to me that people would take such a chances with their children. We have seen so many horror stories of children being abducted. I would give my 8 year old a cell phone and tell her to text me or call me when she goes to the store. Then I would go take the kids from the car and bring them with me and let him go nuts wondering where they are!!!! That should get his attention.

what a jackass, doesn't he watch the news?? Those kids could end up kidnapped and killed. I'd report him or atleast threated to report him.
I can't understand some of these idiotic parents!!
Lynsey

Went to Walmart once seen child in car called police. Plain and simple. Anything could happen while out there. Has to be taking care of immediately.

Hi Laurie:

My name is Adrianne and I am a Child Protective Specialist for the Administration for Children's Services. I would suggest that you speak with your friends and inform them that they can get into serious trouble for leaving young children in the car alone. There have been cases where parents were arrested and even children removed from thier homes due to neglect of this nature. Although there is no specified age, I would say never leave children under the age of 10 or 11 in a care by themselves. They have to also take into consideration the child's maturity level.

if he gets caught he will be arrested in the state of ct they will call DCF and arrest you it is dangerous good luck hope he stops doing that

If the ex is doing something dangerous with the kids, then your friend needs to contact her divorce/custody attorney. You could also have her find out when he normally does the shopping and have a friend follow, sit in the parking lot and call the cops because she saw "Kids left unattended in a car" but this could be somewhat traumatic for the children. I would not be happy with this either, my oldest is 13 and I've yet to leave her in a car alone.
I would not suggest going with Diane's plan of taking the kids from the ex's car (sorry Diane, no disrespect intended) - if it's the ex's legal custodial or visitation time, your friend can be charged with kidnapping and could lose custody of her kids if she does this.

if you find the children in the car unattended when he does this call the police. God forbid some petafile gets hold of those two kids.

I was pumping gas recently and this woman left her son in the car while she went to pay for her gas and a police car had just pulled in. He saw the woman go inside, walked over to the car, talked to the little boy, then went inside and arrested her for leaving her son in the car unattended. The boy was about 8 or 9 years old and she was watching him the whole time, plus I was pumping my gas and told her I would keep an eye on him as well. It's Wallingford, just about everyone in this town watches out for each others kids. I think the gas station is one thing, but Stop & Shop is another. If I were you or your friend I would report the ex-husband, if anything he will get reminded of the laws in Connecticut. Also I saw that you live in Cheshire, Cheshire police are tough and if he does it there then he is sure to get in trouble.

T.

Hi L.
This is a terribly dangerous habit.
Not only because of carnapping these days but with the weather heating up, children are vulnerable to all kinds of heat issues. I know that you know that or you would not be asking the question. Which sounds like what can we do?
It is all over the news, and weather channel not to do this even for short times. Why? these kids seem old enough to do something if they are too hot. not according to the law. Have you ever had heat stroke or been medically dehydrated? You don't think clearly or sometimes don't know how to help yourself.
It is also against the law in some states. So if you are passing a car and you see a child in a car, call the police. I did. They came. Open the car, and when dad got back the ambulance was there. They did save the child's life and it was on the news that the tip from a passerby saved the child's life. It is life threatening. Dad was charged with endangering the life of a child. Dad's excuse I was sure she knew how to open the window/door. It was many years ago. Today a passerby would only have to call on cell, not go inside and use the pay phone. Yes, I could have passed dad going out as I was going in.
Check about babysitting laws, that will tell you when they can stay alone, and when they can stay alone to care for younger siblings and younger children. It helps to know the laws, when dealing with bull headed people.
God bless you for caring.

Mom has a right to be concerned
K. === SAHM married 38 years --- adult children --- 37,33,and twins 18

It seems as though the ex-husband feels the children are old enough to sit out in the car alone and he's not thinking of the danger that can still lerk.

There have been too many cases where carjackings in parking lots happen when a child is in the vehicle. The parents leave the keys in it or do not lock the doors once they enter the store "real quick" for one thing.

I would look up cases online and show that person the dangers. This may deter future ramifications.

Your friend could also let child services know and he could be found guilty of child abandonment and endangering the welfare of a child. That would be the last resort, in my opinion.

Nanc

He should not be leaving those children in a car alone while he shops, or does anything else. If he doesn't wish to shop with them, then he should shop when they are not around or get a sitter. your friend has a right to be concerned and should approach him about it. If he is resistent, she should talk to her lawyer and get his visitations revoked or supervised.

call the police!! he should not be allowed to have the kids at all or at least he should only be allowed supervised visits.. next time your friend knows that he is going to the store, she should follow hi m. if he leaves the kids unattended call the cops!! it is NOT SAFE!!!!! good luck to her!

Diane you took the words right out of my mouth!!! This guy obviously has not patience for children if he can't even stand a trip into the store with the kids. Not to mention, he has no concern for their feelings. These kids must feel abandoned. You know, I had my boys in the car once and I got out to get a CD out of my trunk and when I came back around the side of my car, my youngest was histerical. He had no Idea where the hell I went for 30 seconds. I couldn't imagine leaving my kids to go grocery shopping; even if it is for only one thing. That one thing isn't that important. Good luck with 'Loser Dad'.

Hi L.,

This just my opinion, but I would have him reported. This is the safety of children we are talking here. I would have your friend record him doing this. If he does this god only knows what else he is doing. I would tell someone.

It might depend on the age. I forget what age a child has to be here before you leave the in a car. I remember on lady that did that and I'll bet she'll never do it again. There were 3 kids left in an SUV when I went to the grocery store last year. A cop came along and saw them. He stood by the SUV until the mom came out. I wound up coming out of the store the same time the mom did. Her excuse was that she was quick and only stopped to pick up a few things. Yea, right. She was in there longer than me and had a shopping cart full of stuff. He gave her a warning and told her there is a fine for doing that. I know sometimes kids will ask to stay in the car, so your hubby's going to have to be stong and tell them no.

Hi L.,

Depending on what state they live in, it's illegal (I know it is in CT). In any case, it's dangerous and asking for trouble. You might have your friend (or her attorney) advise her ex in writing that he is committing child endangerment, and that child welfare or police involvement could be next. I know that in Ridgefield and Westport police who see a child alone in a car take immediate action. She might try calling the police to the scene if she knows it's happening. There is simply too much that could happen to a child left in the car like that; it's simply not smart. Men don't tend to think of all the possibilities; someone should enlighten him.

This is unacceptable, and as far as I know against the law...the police could actually get involved. You hear of too many crazy things happening to children left unattended in cars! The father is being irresponsible, and should do his shopping BEFORE he has the children with him, or else the mother should NOT let the children go with him!

If they have an amicable relationship, she could advise him to shop before or after he picks up the children. Either that, or take them inside with him. If he can't honor that request, then the matter needs to be put in the hands of the court. Good luck to your friend.

See all the comments and agree. But wanted to say thanks for the post - it has made me reconsider. I have done the gas station version (like the lady described in a post here). But really, will never again.

There are too many potential safety issues: the adult could have a health crisis (e.g., heart-attack, get hurt) that precludes them from getting back to the child(ren) safely. Or, the car could have some freak failures (e.g., fire - a friend returned to his car after 2 min. to see it engulfed in flames (no kids).

Too many variables. Not a good practice.
Thanks.

Hi L.,

This is dangerous in more ways than one. Granted, the kids are old enough to roll down a window if it gets too hot in the car, but they could get heat stroke with the summermonths coming up. Also, with the way the world is now days, they could get kidnapped, raped, & killed. I'm sure there were sickos out there when I was a kid & my mom left me in the car per my request; but it's all too scary now. How does your friend know the ex is doing this? My best word of advice is for her to call Child Protective Services because this is a possible life threatening thing he is doing. It's not like she's trying to "get even w/ him" or whatever...she would be just looking out for the best interest for her kids. Sorry, I'm just overly protective of my own little ones.

Take care,
A.

Tell your friend to keep a record of everytime that happen. If you are not in court already you should take him there. He thinks he's hurting you but he's not. He's only hurting his children.

Has she told him not to do that? If so and he continues, I would try to find out when he was going to the store and then call the cops. Here I thought there was an actual law that you are not allowed to leave a child in the car for more than 10 minutes.

Someone needs to inform him this is not just a bad idea but is actually a crime of child endangerment. If cought he would have a criminal record be fined at least. Also he would have a record with child welfare services that means he could not work with children (teacher, coach, foster parent, etc). It could definitely have an impact on his custody agreement if the court was informed. I was a child protective services worker for several years in NJ and I had case very similar to this (elementary school age kids left in a car).

The next time he has the kids, tell he to folow them.
Then call the police when he does this.
It is NOT ok to leave children in a car alone let alone leaving them in the car this time of year with the hot weather upon us.
8 and 6 years old is way too young to be alone in a car!!

Hey L.,
I agree with all these other moms,

Something needs to be done.

My oldest child is 13, I just started letting him go out alone.

In CT I think your supposed to be 12 to be left alone, tho I know many parents do it earlier.

I would tell your friend not to call the police, But to definately talk to her ex, if he doesn't listen, haul his butt into court and have them send him to parent classes before he can get his visitation back.
This way he knows she is serous. BUT NOT trying to ruin his life. or the relationship with his kids.

Any judge would understand her concern.
And I honestly don't think that having him arrested, will help make things better. Plus if he can't get a job how will that make things better for her kids.

NO the best option is to make him get the training her needs to be a better father, She could also agree to take them aswell, It never hurts to be reminded of the right way to parent.

M