EDITED - How Much Does Any of Us Need?

People look at my car and go YUCK! When I tell them I paid $100.00 for it they go WOW! You sound like you would fit in our lifestyle comfortably....

I shop from an online discount company for my consumables that I need each month so my budget is set to be the about same each month. We only shop at thrift stores and for two teenage girls they have gotten real creative. I took my 14 year old out to buy a dress for a wedding a few weeks ago and she wouldn't let me spend $25.00 on it. I was willing to "splurge," lol.

I went to a reunion a few weeks ago and there were so many of my friends and their husband that were caught up in the rat race and stuff and they had lost control of their family life and I saw little joy in their lives. It was all about working. Our life is about each other and the experience as well. We don't have stuff. We once did and sold most of it off because all it did was impress the people that we didn't necessarily want to impress. We have also downsized to a smaller house in a nicer neighborhood. Life is too short to keep up with the Joneses.

The general rule is if you haven't used something in 6 months get rid of it.
Craigslist is a wonderful way to get a little money back or save some if you need something.

My two cents!

M.

I'm a single mom too and I work full time. I've raised my daughter bymyself for the past nine years. I too was living in an apartment and had a lot of debt...and bad luck. It took a lot of self control and determination, but nine years later....I bought my first house. My car is paid off....although it is not pretty to look at. I beleive it is about living below or at your means, not above. I next to never charge anything, if I don't have cash for it I don't buy it. I shop a lot at Target(which even seems kinda pricey for me). Or I shop at wherever I have a coupon for. After my daughter is done with her clothes I sell them at consignment shops. Yes, I would love to buy myself lots of new clothes and my daughter too, but I always ask myself...do I really NEED this...can I get by on what I have? And the answer is always no, i don't. Financial stability makes me much happier than new clothes anyday.

I don't have a ton of clothes, but what I do have is high quality and classic style, so it will last a long time. Since I am very tall (6'0"), buying pants in regular stores is not an option, therefore I order online. And, lucky me, pants with a 36" inseam are almost never on sale. Therefore, I'm resigned to paying $100-200 per pair of pants, and I take very good care of them and never buy anything trendy! I have work slacks and suits that are more than 5 years old, but they still look great. Same with jeans - have to buy them at Nordstrom or online, but I take good care of them and they last. I have probably 5 pairs of work slacks and 3 pairs of jeans, a few pairs of workout/yoga pants, and that's it! I have about 6' of shelf space in my closet, and about 6' of hanging space in my closet and all my clothes fit in there.

For shirts, I have a few more of those. Maybe 20 shirts in all, plus a few sweaters and blazers. Again I try to buy things that will stay in style for a while and are well made.

One area where I can economize is underwear/bras. I wait until those go on sale and then I buy in bulk!

Shoes are kind of the same story as pants/tops - I wear size 11, so again, nothing ever goes on sale and I have to buy online. I have about 15 pairs or shoes (it's my weakness =), and when the soles start to get a little thin, I have them re-soled. I keep a pack of baby wipes in my closet and clean any scuffs off of them before I take them off at the end of the day, and I use cedar wood shoe inserts to keep their shape when I'm not wearing them. I have shoes that I've had for 10 years - again, I don't tend to buy super trendy stuff so it works for me.

I would say that I tend to buy clothes 2 or 3 times a year, and try to replace or update any clothes I have that are becoming worn or out of date. I probably spend $250 each time.

For my kids, I tend to buy things that fit them in the moment. I realized that buying things big wasn't helping because when you buy them, they're too big, and then the next year the clothes are too small, so now I just buy clothes that fit. I tend to pick one collection at Crazy 8 or somewhere like that, and buy everything in the collection. Sounds nutty, but by spending $200 on each kid, they have a zillion outfits that can be mixed and matched. You can buy one or two pairs of shoes, and they always look fantastic. Furthermore I don't have to help the kids get dressed because literally everything in their closets match. So... I'd say I spend $200 per child probably 3 times per year?

I'm looking forward to reading your answers!

HI I have 4 sons (twin 3, a 6 and 8 year old) and we have loads of clothes and toys- mostly second hand, but still. I am a target/clearance/consigment shopper and hearty gargage sale. I love to shop with coupons and see myself as frugal long before it was cool.

However, we just got back from living in Europe for 7 months- we each got to take 2 suitcases and everything there was very expensive, so the other things we bought were food and other consumables. It was liberating- we just didn't have any clutter other than papers. The boys still had fun and I washed our clothes til they were worn out.

Now there has to be a balance- I think you are headed in the right direction by questioning yourself- do a little reseach and then get busy! I buy cheap and then resell my stuff at consignments and ebay and such- I try to recycle everything I can. I try to keep in mind what impact I am having on the earth and our USA economy.

You may think about getting a new hobby- book club, gardening, etc that will replace your shopping hobby. Good luck!

Hi L., I hate to shop for clothes, or anything really, but when I do I am a "sale" shopper. So I used to buy everything I found because it was a "great deal". Now I really look at it and think, do I LOVE it? If not, I don't buy it anymore. I have a wide range of clothing but I have really narrowed it down since it dawned on me not too long ago that I really wear the same 10 items over and over! So I got rid of quite a bit.

I feel like the kids really go thru their clothes except for my 14 yo since she isn't really growing anymore. They all have about 10 pairs of short (about 1 per day and a couple extra is how I figure) and way more T shirts and Tank Tops. And they have about 5-7 pairs of pants. I look for stains and tears all the time and get rid of stuff when I can.

I hope this helps but really I think everyone is different.

Hmmm....since having my first son 14 months ago, I really haven't bought a lot of clothing for myself. And I am ok with it. : ) I have enough for now and when the times comes to replace articles, then I do/will. Until then, I am happy NOT spending it on myself and just spending it on my son's needs.

There are a lot of cute clothes I see that I would love to get my son, but then I realize he has more than what he "needs" and I would rather save/have the money for him if something came up (emergency, holiday, vacation, etc).

Long story short, I make do with what I have (I am not wearing rags by any means) and make sure my son has what he needs, otherwise, I try to limit my "impromptu spending" as much as possible. You never know what you might need the money for down the line, and even a "little bit" adds up over time. Hope this helps.

Yes, its really smart to buy for next year. I have gotten shorts for my son for 75 cents and I also go to yard sales as well as stopping by nice stores like Gyboree and can get "going out" clothes for under 3 dollars. I usually keep 4-6 pairs of pants (including sweats) for my son, approx 6/7 short sleave shirts, 4/5 long sleave shirts, and 3/4 sweaters/hoodies. Pjs usually are 4/5 at a time. Only one pair of shoes every 3-4 months. Most of his clothes are in 4 drawers. I rarely buy anything for myself, maybe once every few months. I did splurge and buy a cashmere cardigan at Banana Repbulic for 25 dollars. It is white and I can use it all Spring and Summer so I will get a lot of wear out of it. I have about 5 drawers plus 1 closet for all my clothes. I am a SAHM but I did buy a lot more when I worked and interacted with customers.

Almost all our expenses are shifted towards our kids now and less for ourselves.

I wore a sweater a few months ago that I've easily had 6 years - it's one of the few things I own from Banana Republic. Now, if it's not on sale at Kohl's or JC Penney, Target or Old Navy, I rarely shop for myself despite being a working mom and being required to wear professional clothes.

We have more than we need. All of us do in reality.

But, where some people put their priorities in experiences such as vacations, we do more into our house.

We spent almost $20K in day care for 2 kids last year. It's not a fancy place, but it's close to home, we love the teachers and feel our kids are safe there, so it's an expense we justify. Plus, our kids are gaining so many great social and academic experiences being there that even when I was laid off, we still kept them in day care so I could dedicate the time to look for a job and so they wouldn't lose those interactions.

We're trying to teach our son now that just because you go to a store doesn't mean you get something. He's 3.5 and doesn't understand the concept of money.

But, we're trying to teach them both the values that it's the people in your life who make it valuable not all the things - easier said than done, but we're trying valiantly.

Good luck.

The only answer that's going to have any meaning is your own. There are people who have absolutely everything and they are miserable. And there are people who have just a roof over their head, clothes on their backs and just enough food to get by, and they are grateful for what they have. I don't feel bad buying a treat for myself (or my family - I just bought tickets to see the circus) every so often, but it's not all the time. When my son sees something he wants and asks, a lot of times I'll have to tell him it's 10 months to Christmas or his birthday but I'll keep it in mind (and by the time Christmas or his birthday comes round he's no longer interested in it).
I like to save for a rainy day. My car's 12 yrs old and I'm going to have to replace it one of these days and it will be nice to pay cash for it and not have to worry about a car payment. We have no debt other than the mortgage and our son's collage fund is doing alright. It would be nice to win a really big lottery and daydreaming about what I'd do if it ever happened is a lot of fun, but I have to say we are pretty content with what we have.

If you live in the mother-in-laws house on your parent's property and you hope to live in your own house some day, you have impulse shopped yourself into the poor house. (Based on what you wrote.)

If you live there rent free, you should be banking what you would ordinarily pay for rent if you were to live on your own. After you have saved $2500 you can purchase a mutual fund and make more than 1/2% interest on your money. At a minimum you should be saving 10% of your gross income (before taxes) per month. After my first raise, my wife and I saved the raise until we had the second raise and saved the amount of the raise until we were saving 10% of my gross income. (Save $10 per week for 40 years at 8% interest and you'll have over $1,000,000.)

I have a 3 drawer chest of drawers and a 5 foot clothes rod in my wife's and my closet. She has a 3 drawer chest of drawers and a 6 foot clothes rod in our closet. We each spend less than $100 per year on clothes and most of that is for Christmas and me when I buy something for my wife for Mother's day. Both our cars (2002 & 2003) are paid for and our home should be paid for this year. Our home would have been paid for 20 years ago, but my company transferred me from one area to another and another, to another, etc., each one more expensive than the last. Each one of my kids had a 4 drawer chest of drawers that two of them shared until they were 4 to 6 years old when they got their own chest of drawers. (8 kids) Most of my clothes are at least 4 years old. Most of my wife's clothes are newer. I always buy clothes for her that she can mix and match.

The rich don't buy to impress or keep up with the Joneses. The rich let the fololish buy to impress and keep up with the Joneses. Good luck.

I have next to no clothes (or at least it feels that way! lol!) I own four pairs of work out pants (which I wear around the house), maybe 10 t-shirts, 3 pairs of shorts, 3 skirts, 4 "good" tops and that's about it. I have a few pairs of pj pants and wear my old shirts or mens undershirts to bed.

My husband has a ton of clothes, but most are from when he was single. Nothing very new, except for the two pairs of jeans he just bought at walmart to replace his old jeans.

My oldest daughter is 3 and we just went shopping for her. She has 5 pairs of play shorts and 5 play shirts. She has a lot of jeans, but they were given to us from a friend whose daughter had outgrown them. She also has two pairs of sweatpants and several sweatshirts (5 I think). She has 4 nice dresses for church.

My youngest keeps inheriting hand me downs from my nieces so she has a zillion clothes, or at least it seems that way. I did just buy her 4 pairs of shorts for Easter.

We don't have money to spend on clothes, so we don't. We don't go a lot of places, so play clothes are fine for most of the time. I take care of our clothes so that they still look nice, even if they are play clothes.

I don't really shop. If I'm at WalMart and I see something on clearance that's a really good deal ($5 or under) I'm likely to get it, but only if I LOVE it. I make myself justify any purchase. I ask myself "Do I lOVE it? Is it made well? Will my child (or myself) wear it more than once? Is it easily washable? Will I get the money out of it that I put into it?" If the answer is yes, then I buy it. If it's not, then I put it back.

The best way to avoid buying something is to stay out of the store. I will only shop at places like Kohl's if I have a coupon or happen to be running a really good sale. Also, if you use credit cards, cut them up NOW! The best thing we ever did was to cut up our credit cards. It's hard to get out of debt if you're constantly charging things. If you have to pay cash for everything, you realize how much money you're spending. Even better, if you're going to the store only take a certain amount of cash with you. Don't even take your wallet. If you only have $50.00 to spend, then that's all you spend. Hard to overspend that way!

Good luck to you! Congrats on wanting to change your lifestyle!

We don't buy any clothing unless there is some sort of event or need. My son has been blessed with clothing from friends who have a son who is just older than ours so we have not purchased hardly any clothing for him. My husband and I only purchase clothes when they are an amazing deal and/or we've been given a gift card. We are super careful about stuff like that. We have a lot of bills and are working to reduce debt as well. We also haven't purchased any toys for our son because he has PLENTY. We are serious purgers. We don't believe in excess and keeping things we don't need but we do try to donate any unwanted stuff to charity or give it to people we know will use it.
Good for you for trying to eliminate debt!

L.,

I had to read your question several times before I replied to it and then I actually deleted what I was going to say first, and without reading anyone else's comments here is mine. I hope this is not taken the wrong way but "as a mother this is what I would say to my own daughter". Really!

Comparing yourself to others is really not a good idea. Everyone has a different lifestyle and beliefs. Be grateful for what you have and start sharing it with others close to you. So many family's are not even living paycheck to paycheck and you want to compare what you have and what they have.

Not to hurt your feelings but go back and read what you have written and is this really something you want to ask us about or brag about? Be grateful that you have your son and he's healthy, be thankful for what you do have it can all be taken away. Just try to save the money that your blowing on shopping and save it for later years.

Your son is only 4 now wait until he's a teenager if you keep him use to this lifestyle of getting what ever he wants you will be sorry unless you have someone with a bottomless pit of money for you. If you can buy your child clothes even last years styles then you are doing better than most of us that will honestly reply to your question.

Honey it's a tough world and money is hard to make and jobs are very hard to find. Don't waste it on things he will outgrow and things you really do not need, donate it to a family that needs it, you could change someones life by doing so. Good luck to you and your son.

B. C

I am not one that loves to shop, but am a packrat, and most of the clothes in my closet have been there for a long time, so there is quite a bit. I also had trouble though, when it came to buying for my son.

I would recommend Dave Ramsey's "Total Money Makeover". Read it front to back. It will help you in your quest to get rid of debt, and will give you something to focus on when you see that thing you want to buy. It has definitely helped with my impulse shopping and has helped reduce a big chunk of debt in about 9 months.

My son is only 2, but we keep about 10 of everything on hand for clothes. He could go without closet space, and just use his dresser. I'm sure as he get older, this may change as he is still growing out of things so quickly. For myself, I only NEED about 2 shelves, and 4 feet of closet space, but I use so much more.

Well, that is a lot of questions LOL. For me, we have a very limited buget right now and while I would love to go out and get me some new clothes, I'm dealing with what I have... two pair of jeans, sweats, two pairs of capris, a few sweaters a few sweatshirts and a few shirts (that I actually wear).

My son who is almost 6 has more clothes since he goes to school and plays and gets dirty and I don't want him wearing the same things all the time. So, he has about 6 pair of jeans, a few sweats, 10-12 short sleeved shirts and about 8 long sleeved shirts and three coats.

Our baby has quite a few clothes too but some were gifts and all the rest bought at consignments stores.

Now since we can't afford much, I don't shop unless we really need something. And before I head to any departement store of the mall, I first go to my favorite consingment store and then if I still need to look, I try Value Village (a second hand store). I almost never go to a mall. WAY to over priced and can't afford it right now.

Last week, I needed to look for jeans so I headed off to Value Village and found a great, nearly brand new, pair of desinger jeans for $8 rather than the $120 that they sell for at Nordstroms. Also got a brand new Banana Republic shirt for $2 (it was 50% off). It does take time to find the good deals but it is soooo worth it. I came from a very well off family but as an adult I'm not that way. So, we make do. As well, I sell anything and everything I can at the consignment store. I love going in there and knowing I have some credit and finding some great clothes that are virtually brand new :)

I agree with the others who say that you can't really compare yourself to anyone else. It's all a matter of what you can afford to do and what you're comfortable with. I am a huge Dave Ramsey fan, so I will start off by saying that. So, my answer would be that, while you and your son both need clothing, you shouldn't really be buying things just for the sake of buying them as long as you have ANY debt. Whenever you're tempted to buy that little trinket, shirt, shorts, whatever, even at WalMart, just think of what that $5-$10 could do to your debt. It may not seem like much, but seriously, put the cash in your pocket or an envelope for every time you're tempted to buy for a month and see how much you have. Then, write a check to the credit card company for that amount. I would say to track your spending (get receipts for EVERYTHING and write it down), but if you can avoid actually spending it and save that cash to pay down your debt, you would be amazed at how quickly that can happen.

I used to do my grocery shopping at a Super Target, but had to stop because I would always find myself wandering over to the other side of the store and almost always bought something I didn't really need just because I was already there (I, too, love buying clothes for my kids. And, at Target, the mentality I had is "it's only $5, it's so cheap!". Now, I hardly ever go to Target (try to avoid it, really) because I know it is a weakness for me. For some reason, I really like buying art supplies and crafts for my daughter to do. A couple of weeks ago, I cleaned out her art closet and we are SWAMPED with stuff in there because I had an obsession! LOL! She had so much stuff crammed in there, she had forgotten about half of it. So, I have vowed, no more arts and crafts stuff until she uses up what's in there! That's just one example of how I've changed my spending habits. I am also one of those people that can't stand seeing a coupon go unused. That meant that anytime I got a coupon to Kohl's, Children's Place, Gymboree, I would go and use it because heaven forbid it expire! I don't shop like that anymore. If I get a really good coupon, I'll take stock of the kids' closets and see if there is anything they need or have outgrown and I might go buy some things, but I only do that occasionally now.

I realize you are a single Mom and that must make it infintely harder to manage finances, but that also means that you only have yourself to rely on to do it. My husband and I are blessed that he earns enough for me to stay home and that finances really aren't an issue for us, but I still felt like I was being irresponsible with our money. Paying off our house has almost become our new obsession. When my hubby got his bonus check this year, instead of blowing it on something "fun" (like the new patio I've been wanting on the house), we paid off our second mortgage. We now own 20% of our home and have no other debt. Even both of our cars are paid for (we bought them used). To me, not having to worry about making a credit card payment every month and the feeling that it will NEVER be paid off (I've been there, believe me!) is so freeing. Once you start to see results, it becomes more fun than buying the stuff!

I guess what I'm saying is that, again, you can't compare the "amount" of stuff you have with anyone else. The question is, is it enough for you and your son? Is there something better you could be doing with the money you're spending on more stuff (clothes, toys, etc.)? I know what that impulse to buy feels like and I would never consider myself a compulsive shopper either, but when I stopped the impulse buying, it was amazing to look back and see how much I actually did do it and how much less I was spending by not doing it. One purchase that I would highly recommend is buying Dave Ramsey's Total Money Makeover book. Or, attending a Financial Peace University class (most churches offer this). It really will change your life and you will never have to ask this kind of question of anyone again because you will KNOW what's best for your financial future and for that of your son. I wish you the best. If you can, make a monthly budget for yourself and try to track all of your spending. It can be really eye opening. :-)

You sound pretty typical to me.. You actually sound like you are doing great!

We own our home and do not eat out often. Our home is less than 1000 feet with only 1 bath. We live in an excellent area with all great schools around us. We always sent our daughter to public schools.

I tried to cook every night. My goal for dinner for 3 was $10 to $15 per night. Many times, it was way less. I purchased what was on sale at the store that week.

We drive older cars and only once have we purchased a brand new car. We decided it was not worth the money, when you could purchase a 1 to 2 year old car in perfect condition for so much less.

The only vacations we could really afford are by car. We live in Texas so we have a huge selection of landscapes and places to visit. We did have the opportunity to go to Disney World one, year when I was hired to go as a babysitter for a woman that had a business meeting there and I watched over her child and was able to take my own child along.

I tried to always have enough clothes for our daughter to get through a week to a week and a half (laundry is not favorite) without worrying about running out of clothing for her. I always purchased the best quality shoes I could afford, because at her school they run track every day and cheap tennis shoes wore out too fast. Her Pj's she always took a bath at night so she was clean when she out them on so she would wear her jammies for 4 nights..

Our daughter was not really into clothing, So when she was young, I would purchase what I could find on sale. Every once in a while we would need something for a special event, so I would purchase a nice dress to have on hand for just in case..

We have a weakness for books. So we purchased lots of books. When it was time for gift giving and people would ask what she needed or wanted, I would tell them gift cards for movies or the book store.

Our daughter is now in an Ivy league College out of state. She has many scholarships and grants and we have saved enough that so far we have no loans to payback once she graduates. We are still VERY careful with our money. The cars really need to be ditched and newer ones purchased, but we do not want to take on that expense right now..

I am an impulse buyer too... also been working on that beause honestly I buy things that are just wants or even worse things we really do not want but it is a good price and I can find a use for it. My daughter has A LOT of clothes, more then I do, but it is hard to walk away from a cute shirt/pants if it is a resnoable price. I also buy ahead of what my daughter needs when it goes not sale (we do get some handyme downs but not a lot). I am by far not the best to judge on the "typical" scale because I have issues to work on when it comes to money BUT here is what I visit in a typical month:

Gorcery Store go 3-4 times a month, spend around $400 for food for 3 people PLUS another $50 for acholic drinks and another $50 if we are having people over for dinner/lunch (which happens about once a month, sometimes twice)

Walmart & Target go 1-2 times a month (not 1-2 times each but either or 1-2 times a month), spend around $100 each time I go, items gotten usually are the paper products and necessities like pull-ups, hydgen products, cleaning supplies... BUT this is where I can get off track and buy those clothes that are not really needed but are cute or that basket is so much nicer then the one I already have which is kind of starting to fall apart (so I know I can save and am trying to cut this habit). I use to go ever week but have cut that habit because it really was not needed.

Mall... 4-5 times a year... usually go at christmas time 2-3 times to look for gifts and one or two times I want to buy a new dress or outfit for a specail occassion. I USE to go to the mall every month and sometimes twice a month BUT the money was not spent wisely so I cut myself off from the mall (very hard to do, because I LOVE going but it had to be done, saved use about $500 dollars).

NOW when it comes to other things like toy stores, baby stores and so on I use to go at least once a week when my daughter was first born... not cool but that has changed so what I started out on spending has dropped A LOT. I am not a coupon clipper, have tried but just can not do it. We also have NO extra storage for bulk food items so I can not buy a lot of an item when it goes on sale (wish I could but maybe when we get a new house).

In the end you have to live with-in your means. Pay all your bills, buy what is REALLY needed, put some money into savings account and judge by what you have left. My hubby buys things only when really needed, he is a saver so I am glad I have him helping me out since I can be a spender. We always try to have a certian amount in the checking account (bottom line, example no less then $1000 in the checking account), what we feel comfortable with, which will be different for everyone.

Clothing Daughter: 15 pants, 12 skirts, 10 dresses, 20 long sleeve shirts, 20 short sleeve shirts, 10 tank tops, A LOT of underware since we are still potty training, 14-20 pairs of socks, 6 pairs of shoes. 2 winter jackets, 2 spring jackets, 2 fall jackets & 4-5 zipper sweaters. 5 PJs for cold weather, 3 Pjs for warm weather and 3 PJs for in between I try to keep everything contained to a draw, shirts get a drawer, pants/shorts/skirts get a drawer and so on (have five drawers for her clothes plus a closet for coats & dresses)... that helps me to not OVER buy.

Clothing ME: 3 pairs of jeans, 3 kahki pants, 5 dressy pants, 4 comfy pants (yoga/sweats), 2 pairs of shorts, 5 skirts, 5 dresses, 10 dressy shirts, 15 tank tops, 10 cardigans/blazers, 10 comfy shirts, 5 PJs. 8 pair of shoes, 2 winter jackets, 4 spring jackets, 4 fall jackets, 3 zip up fleeces.

PS... sorry for any mispelled words my spell checker is down and I can be a horrible speller when it is not back me up :)

I have a son and ever since he's been born I had only bought stuff for him, up until recently. I just started buying myself new clothes for the summer because I am pregnant and won't be fitting into my regular clothes. The clothes that I do have only fill up half of my closet and I don't use any drawers, except for my bra/undewear drawer. Most of my clothes are from 2007 before I got pregnant, because I still fit in them and I don't work, so theres really no reason for new clothes for me.

As for my son, I buy him things, but I don't go overboard. At the end of every season I buy his clothes for the next year when everything is on sale. In January/February I bought his whole wardrobe for next year. I got him a winter jacket, snow suit, hat and gloves, around 15 long sleeved shirts, maybe 7 pairs of pants and a few pairs of pajamas. I will still need to buy a few things like boots and shoes but that is a little harder to buy a year ahead of time because I am not sure what shoe size he will be. I don't usually buy more than 3 or 4 pairs of pajamas because a lot of the time he will wear a t-shirt and sweat pants or shorts to bed anyways. Buying clothes at the end of a season really saves you a LOT of money! The only problem is if you are not sure what size you or your son will be next year. Right now my son is 22 months old and he's always fit perfectly into whatever size his age range is in. If you think that might work for you maybe you should give it a try. Good Luck!