Eating Dinner as a Family

I have a 17 month old myself, along with a 9 year old and a 12 year old. I try very hard to have a sit down meal with them. My husband doesn't get home til later and they all are hungry at 5:00. My older kids have school and they go to bed by 7:30 or 8:00pm. I feel bad not being able to wait til daddy gets home but it is too hard for them to wait. Sometimes I will hold dinner til 6:00 if I know that he will be home. It is sometimes hard for my 17 month old to sit still but if he gets restless then we will let him down while we finish and then we head for the bath.

All you can do is keep trying...it'll come with time. Maybe instead of eating in front of the tv when he has already eaten try sitting together at the table...whether he is joining you or not...u don't have to do it every single night but maybe at least a few nights a week...he'll get the general idea...i put alot of weight in the importance of the family dinner as they get older...so by the time he is 2 or 3 he will really be used to it and enjoy the time it gives all of you together. With our kids being older it gives us the opportunity to spend a little time together but also to make sure our teenagers don't just graze on "junk" all night.

I have 2 boys and a girl ages 6, 4, and 2.5. When they were all little they sat at the table with us and ate with us from the time they were just starting solids. Prior to then unless the baby was napping, I literally even had the baby at the table in a bouncy seat so they were included and understood we all join together regularly. I arranged the daily schedule so that they ate snacks at given intervals so they could eat at our meal times. They lived in our schedule and our routine, not by their own routine. We had to manage the schedule. It has in turn taught them all to sit at the table respectfully both at home and when we go places. We often get comments on how our children do so well sitting during mealtimes because it is common for kids to be allowed to leave the table to play when they are done and usually in a restaurant environment, that doesn't work. If your child is always used to being allowed to get down to play rather than sit quietly and play, eat, color, etc, then you have chaos with an antsy kid that makes mealtimes out very challenging to both you and everyone around you. So if this is what you allow at home, expect it in all situations. Your child will only want to get down faster and play more as he gets older.

It is true that boys are more active. This is why at that age and even as they grow it is important to consider the schedule around you. If you anticipate a long sit down meal or outing to a restaurant, you do not want to let your child do some lazy slow activity like watching tv or just sitting to play. In your sons case he is likely much on the move anyway because of his age, and he probably doesn't watch much tv. It really is all about how you manage their schedule. It can be done without upsets on anyones part. He is old enough now that he should have a regular eating pattern that pretty much doesn't deviate if you are sticking with a traditional kid eating routine of breakfast, snack, lunch, snack, dinner, snack. It is actually a great way to keep the blood sugar stable which in turn keeps the child happy and pleasant unless something is really wrong. Adults actually function better on the same eating routine. An adult can actually get by eating less at each designated eating time, but over the course of the day eating more calories and lose weight, plus they get the added bonus of thinking more clearly because blood sugar levels are never permitted to drop.

Mealtime is the best time for everyone to come together and communicate what is going on in their world. Developing trends early on will help you better keep them later. Don't spend your time waiting for some magical age before your try starting your routine because often times our little ones are much more capable than we traditionally give them credit. The same is true with little ones and how they communicate to us. Many people wait until they just start talking on their own or until they are "old enough" to talk before they expect them to communicate. However they can communicate long before then. My daughter was signing that she was hungry when she was 4.5 months old. Signing turned to talking full sentences by 11 months. If I had waited to expect her to communicate she may very well have just started talking broken sentences now that she is 2. My boys were the same way (signing and then early talking). I am not saying push a child too hard, but give them a little credit and you can try out things and just see how it goes. You may be surprised how it works out. I am sure you will find the best way to manage your schedule. You guys will find your happy medium! By the way, that is awesome that you work at a day care and can take your son. This gives you control over keeping his schedule the same every day. Talk about living the best of both worlds (working mom and stay at home mom). Good luck and God Bless!

B. :)

I think it is important but we had exactly the same thing happen. What we did was move our dinner time a little earlier, to 5:30. Then it worked. I wouldn't eat in front of the tv though, sets a bad example for all. I would just let him have a snack later on and then see if he will eat with you. It will come together in time though :)
L.

I think the trick to it is making it a habit every night.
Even if he only sits till his food is gone for now then as he gets older he has to sit longer. If some nights he eats before the rest of the family thats ok but when the rest of the family sits down to eat I would put him up to the table and have him sit for awhile maybe with a snack. it usually takes two weeks straight to make something a habit and let me tell you this is an awesome habit. our children are 12,14,16 and they love having dinner as a family everynight no matter what time it is. We started this when they were babies. Just have patience and have fun don't make it stressful make it very relaxed and enjoy each others company.

i would say give you son a small snack to tide him over then have dinner as a family. If that doesn't work, feed him...then you and your husband can still sit down and have dinner as a family. You son is young, but the image of you and your hubby having a family meal will go a long way.
We would eat together as a family. But when never forced my daughter to stay seated through the whole meal...she was just too young. When she was done and getting antsy, I would let her down to play....and we would finish eating. Now she is 3, and we have dinner as a family every night. She knows that she must have a least one bite of everything on her plate, and must ask before she can get down. And when she is done (which is usually before us still) she plays quietly.
So....have dinner as a family....just don't expect your son to sit there the whole time. Think of it as a chance to talk and spend time with your hubby!!

You can just not expect a baby of that age to sit still for more than the time it takes to eat a little!

I have 3 boys - 2, 5, & 17 = I fed the little 2 before Daddy gets home. They are usually hungry before my husband gets home from work. They then go play while my husband and I sit down to dinner - so we can have a conversation! They cannot sit at the table for very long or they just carry on! It is enjoyable when My teenager is actually home and can sit with us! That is very rare!

Boys are more active and they just cannot be expected to have a nice orderly dinner at 17 months!!!!!

Look forward to the future for that but for now, do whatever keeps the peace!

When my kids were that little, we always all sat down to dinner together, but I didn't really worry too much about the little one's eating schedule. If they were off schedule from getting hungry an hour before dinner, late nap, etc., I just let them eat a snack, applesauce, whatever, during dinner time. We let them get up from the table when they're ready, but the TV usually can't go on during dinnertime.

I'd say do whatever works. Even a short time of sitting together at the table & relaxing is better than 30 minutes of struggling with a toddler to sit still. It really does get easier - my 9 & 14 year olds now look forward to sitting down for dinner together when Dad gets home.

J. W

My kids always want to eat at 4pm-or 5pm too. My husband doesn't get home til about 6pm soooo i have been giving them a large snack around 3:30pm to hold them off til 6pm so we all can eat at the table together & that seems to work out for us.

I do not bring the kids to the table til their & our plates/drinks are all ready on the table for them to eat. So we can just sit down & eat right away.

Usually i will have a lil dessert saved for last if we are still eating- i will give them chocolate pudding or lil cookie as a reward for being patient etc.

My 12mos old (a girl) is still in a highchair & she sits thru dinner & sometimes longer while we clean up. I know my son (age3) is a bit of challenge to sit thru dinner too but he isn't allowed to leave til we are somewhat finished. I would keep trying. Your son will get the idea. I think your son is old enough to sit at the table for a reasonable amount of time. We really stress sitting at the table til everyone is done (of course we don't linger & eat slow w/3 lil ones!) The tv isn't allowed on until everyone is done etc.-if my son knows it is on -he will not eat very well. It also helps to teach them to sit so when we are in restaurants they know the expectations b/c we have taught them at home to sit. We do not allow running around, getting under the table etc. Hope this gives you some ideas. Good luck. :-)

I usually feed my daughter in courses to slow her down, timing it to coincide with the length of time it takes the rest of us to eat.

Well we all eat as a family, my son is 20 months old and he really hates being confined to his high chair so we just let him sit in the regular chair and eating, but we all sit down as a family and have dinner, if hubby finishes first he gets up and if our son isnt done eating, I stay at the table until he is done. I dont let him eat alone.

G.

My daughter has been the same way ever since she began eating baby food and we have continued to eat as a family since her birth. A few tools are necessary to begin such a habit at 17 months, but it can be done and will make it easier for you to have the much needed family dinners.

You can keep a box of baby wipes (or a wet soapy towel) within reach and have a toy,(or DVD- if your T.V. is close enough)ready for him to enjoy when he has finished. You and your husband can then continue eating. I admit it still is a little hectic and there were even a few rare occasions that my husband and I would take "shifts" eating while going back and forth to her room when she was done, but it really started to get much better after her second birthday (approximately).

Now that she is nearly three, she is much less inclined to get up when she is finished, because her verbal skills are much higher and she wants to talk with Mommy and Daddy. I will admit that there are still nights when we revert to our old reliable technique, but it is more of a rareity these days- but I still keep the baby wipes closeby.

Hope this helps- wow its long :)