Hi everyone,
Just curious ... do you have a copy of your parents' durable power of attorney for their healthcare should anything happen to them? My MIL just gave us hers and that prompted me to ask my parents for theirs. My dad responded to this by informing me where the documents are located in their house, but not by telling me, "Sure I'll send you a copy." Problem is, they live an hour and a half to two hours away from my brother and I and if God forbid anything were to happen to them we'd have to go drive to access those documents. I then reminded my dad that I don't even have a key (or the alarm code) to get into their house should anything happen. He told me he'd make sure I have a key. I'm a little baffled why he just won't send me a copy of the darned document and I guess I'll have to press him a little further to just send me the paperwork.
Anyway, do you have said paperwork for your parents, if they are still alive? Or any experiences in dealing w/ this that you'd like to share?
Added: Inmy30s ... they travel a lot, including to our area. They could be anywhere, not just at home.
Everyone should have a durable POA. Even us.
Thank you for reminding me that I need to get a copy of my mom's.
You're also in CA so I'm going to ask, are you talking power of attorney in the event something happens and you need to make medical decisions, as in an advance directive? If so you need several copies, I have no idea how many we had to give to my Dad's providers the last year of his life.
All doctors needed one on file, as did the hospitals during each admission for the file, the cancer clinic and the nurses who came out to change dressings and administer wound care, etc. As Dad's primary physician told us, if something happened requiring a major decision, they would make necessary decisions immediately if his designated representative wasn't there, so they better have an AD on file, or we would need to go to court to undo something like him being put on life support, etc. In Dad's case he didn't even want to be resuscitated, so it was vital whomever was with him when the paramedics came out, had it in hand to give to paramedics (who needed to keep a copy) or the hospital to make sure people knew he had one. Truth is, they will sometimes not ask, we had to bring it their attention several times and they would say, "Oh, he has an advance directive? We need that!" And hospice, even though we did it in-home, had to have them, too.
Just to let you know how seriously it was taken, my Dad once had a nurse come out to dress his wounds, (healing sores from a MRSA infection) and he was acting lethargic and confused. I called 911, not her, and they came out and determined his blood sugar was too low and transported him to the hospital after bringing it up, just to make sure he was OK. When the nurse found out he had an Advanced Directive she was afraid we had done something wrong, as Dad wanted no life-saving measures.
So yes, you need those papers. Especially since they travel, someone would need to get one to where they are ASAP. And, the only reasons I can think of that he won't send you a copy are 1) he thinks it will be years before you need them, or 2) he's afraid giving them to you means you'll need them.
Probably time to have a talk with him and get the original (some require they see it and won't take a copy otherwise, or they have to make their own copy from the original) and make copies, get the code and key, even if it means taking the time to drive there. Otherwise, you may be setting the stage for big problems later.
If something were to happen to your parents, chances are pretty good that it would happen to them where they live, so you would be making that drive anyway, would you not?
~I do not have one for my Mother but my in-laws have told us where all their important papers are that we will need in the event of something bad...and all those papers are at their house.
My father does not have a health care directive but I am assigned his durable power of attorney. It is in his safety deposit box and I am an authorized user with a key.
He won't let me take possession because even though he knows I wouldn't do anything with it he thinks if I have it I will take his money and put him in a home. He will tell you he is not being rational but it makes him happy so I deal with it.
If it makes you feel better the attorney that draws them up retains a copy so worst case you can go to them.
I have my parents power of attorney and healthcare directive. Actually, I have a copy of all their documents plus I know where the originals are. As for the ILs, I have no idea.
