Dsughter and Halloween

I agree have her invite some friends over, if she is willing to do that. If not just go on with your day as normal. I wouldn't worry too much about it if that doesn't happen. I'm sure last minute something will come up and if it doesn't just plan something fun to do with her at home.

She's 12. At this age you just cannot get involved with calling the moms of other kids. It creates a lot more problems than it solves, it embarrasses your daughter, and it makes the other kids pull away from her! At this age, kids don't want their moms involved and they don't want to be doing things because another mom thinks it's a good idea. It makes them think there is something wrong with your daughter!

If your daughter wants to do something for Halloween, she needs to go to one of the groups and find out what time they are getting together. She can either ask to go along, or she can just act like she's part of the group and say "What time are we getting together?" She can ask them what they are dressing up as, and maybe ask their advice saying, "I can't decide between being a ___ or a ___. What do you think?" If they reject her, then she will know they are not her friends, and she can align herself with the other group, or strike out on her own with some new friends.

Either way, you just have to be less hands-on with regulating her social life. She can be a leader and not a follower, and take the initiative rather than sit around waiting. Others may mistake her waiting for a lack of interest - they want an enthusiastic member of the group, not someone who appears disinterested.

Well maybe you could see if she wants to have some friends over for pizza and watching movies on Sat. it could be in the afternoon or early evening.. next weekend or on Sat.the 30th.. Make the room dark like a theater. make popcorn etc.. have some board games available..

Ask her if she would like to do this.. Maybe this would encourage some of the girls to include her.

My daughter many times was in this situation.. She was with a group of friends that were not always organized (geeks and braniacs) and she had different groups of friends that assumed she was included by another group..

If your daughter doesn't seem unhappy, then I'm not sure there's an issue. My 16yo still hasn't said anything about Halloween -- and that's OK. I find most kids, once past the age of 10 or so, tend to be either a little casual about plans or totally obsessed with these social things. Either way is OK; it's whatever works for that particular child. I think it would be fine if you said you could help her with a costume up until (pick a date here) and that after that, she's on her own & you're not interested in scrambling at the last minute. After that, let it go. She'll either figure out plans with her friends on her own or learn a valuable lesson in getting on top of things a little earlier. If, on the other hand, she seems unhappy and feeling lost, then talk a little more & ask her if she wants your help.

She may not want to go out. I don't think forcing her into what she may perceive as an awkward evening is a good idea. If you pressure too much, she may resent you. Home is a safe place to have some down time, and that should be OK. She can pass out candy with you, or make some treats. If she wants a friend to come over great, but she may not be interested.

I have noticed several posts recently about your daughter and her social life. I can't help but wonder from your posts if it is you or your daughter that is bothered by not being invited. From what you have posted it sounds like she is a happy pre-teen and it is you that is concerned that she is not more social.

My 13 year old asked me if she could stay home and hand out the candy to the kids that come to the door. She has friends at school and is into seeing them one-on-one or in small groups, but a lot of stuff just seems to "wild" to her. Suggest some options and offer to call or arrange things for her, but if she says no, it really is only one night.