Dog Lovers - What Would You Do?

Yes, I would put her down. I have to be honest with you, if I had the option *I* wouldn't want to live demented, deaf and almost blind. So yes, I would let her go.

Good luck.

If she were mine, I would consider euthanasia the kindest thing I could do for her at this point - her quality of life seems pretty low to me. I know ithat if I were in the condition you describe her in, I would want to be released from it.

Maybe it's time...

If you have to keep locking her in the laundry room, is that much of a life for her? Or, is there such a thing as doggy diapers?

Oh, dear, it is time.

She is not eating, incontinent, and in danger of dying a slow, horrible, death from drowning or worse, because of her dementia.

The one true act of love we can give our beloved pets is to let them go gracefully, and peacefully, when it is time. And it is time now for you and your family to give that gift to your Sweet Sally Sue.

If you do not, please do not leave her home alone while your are out of town. Please board her where she will be cared for as she obviously cannot care for herself anymore.

Even aside from the peeing/pooping in the house (which some dogs know is wrong but seem to feel "badly" about because they can no longer control) it.... ask yourself what it's like for a pet that is confused and scared and can't see or hear or think very clearly, and who doesn't have the capacity to understand what is happening to her?

Give her the gift of saying goodbye and sending her across the rainbow bridge, for her sake. Not for yours (though I know you are suffering and I'm sorry for that. hugs). Don't let her be fearful with strangers in a strange environment (boarding) or not understanding where you are or if you're coming back (pet sitter). Plan a great day for her tomorrow/this weekend, or even just tonight, with lots of awesome food (hotdogs, chicken, whatever) and lots of belly rubs and petting. Then do her the last kindness you can and let her go peaceful and without fear, via humane euthanasia.

I had to make this decision just about 1 yr ago. It sucks. It's hard and painful. From everything you say, I would tell you that it is time. Do it FOR her, let her go in peace. No one ever wants to do it or even wants to think/talk about it, but you owe her your best. You would feel horrible if you found her dead in your pool - that would be a terrible way for her to go, scared and painful. I'm in tears typing this to you, I know first hand how HARD it is. But we do it out of love and respect for them.

Use this HHHHHMM scale to decide. If she scores 35 points or less, it may be best to put her down. http://www.veterinarypracticenews.com/vet-practice-news-c... Sounds to me like she's not quite ready to be put down. But if you decide that yes, it is time, celebrate Christmas with her this one last time and make a special memory with you and your children and her.

We've gone through this 2 times with Cocker Spaniels. It is a very difficult decision and no one can answer this question for you.

It is the most heartbreaking thing we have ever had to do. I will say, on both occasions, we knew it was time and there was no doubt.

The first one, English Cocker, was 12, had cancer and when it was time, she was very sick, no bodily control function. She had appeared to be in no pain during the cancer and when the no bodily function control started you could tell she was in pain. It was then, we took her in. The look in her eyes was....thank you

The second, American Cocker, was 14 1/2, not cancer but something respiratory and he would go through coughing fits that had to be painful. One night, he started coughing so badly and it would not stop. We knew then, he was in pain and it was time. It was after midnight, Easter time and fortunately we had a guest in the house who was able to stay home with daughter while we went to the pet ER. Our hearts were touched when the vet had tears as he was giving him the injection. The vet told us... I know this is one of the toughest things you will go through and as a Vet, when I have to do this it tears me up inside. He said each time he has to go through it is painful and he has been a vet over 20 yrs.

Both times, we knew we were doing the right thing at the right time.

I am sorry you are going through this, especially at this time of the year.

Well, I would find a way to 100% prevent the outside access at night.

There comes a time where the animals' dignity enters the equation.

And we need to ask ourselves "do I want this animal around for me or for he/her good?"

It's a tough call and I've had to make that decision twice in the last 12 years.

Weigh the good against the bad.

Oh--as for when you'll be gone--I'd TRY to have someone stay in your home while your gone. I would never board a dog as you've described unless they know her and have recently cared for her.

I had to put my lab down a little over 2 weeks ago and I'm not going to lie ~ it was the toughest decision/thing I've ever had to do.
I decided it was time when the life in her eyes died. She too had been suffering some ailments (lupus and torn acl's) and her quality of life was no longer quality. She was just getting by, not living. It wasn't fair to her to keep her around b/c I loved her so much. I had her put to sleep b/c I do love her.
I slept out in the living room on the floor with her the last night. Neither of us slept much. I pet her, loved her and talked to her throughout the night, as did my 8 y/o. I held her at the vet office and she died in my arms. I took her home and in the pouring rain I buried her out on the point of our yard, where she liked to sit and look out over her domain. In the spring I am going to plant daisies all around her.

Please think long and hard about what is best for your pet ~ not just your kids/family. This is about your dog.
Nobody can make this decision for you. You are in my prayers b/c I know its not easy.

1) Diapers. They make them for dogs (in colors, like back, pink, etc.), or you can use people diapers if you cut a hole for the tail. Yep. That means shaving her so she can be cleaned easily, if she's pooling as well as incontinent.

2) YES. If you don't have a 'special needs dog sitter' (someone who can stay with her to provide the care she needs... Not just drop by for an hour after work for food + walkies, and in the morning to let her out)... She's going to need boarding. You MAY have to board her at the vet (since a lot of kennels don't take incontinent dogs.

3) Putting a dog down is hard. Few people ever want to. You know how you're not there, yet? Your husband and son are. Every day that's she's miserable is causing them pain. You'll know when YOU can't stand to see her suffer any longer, but be gentle with those who are already there. I STRONGLY urge you to take on her care 100% of the time if you don't already. If they're already in so much pain that losing her would hurt less than watching her suffer, don't compound their pain by having them care for her (cleanup, etc.). Most people in such a position jump from grief into anger (over being powerless to stop the suffering), and shift into what looks like callousness/disregard. In order to protect themselves. They're still deeply grieving, but have to cope, so coping comes out as anger / bitterness. I've just seen elderly pets cause divorce and rifts on families... Due to a lack of understanding in this area... And wanted to pass it along. You may already know this, or they may not be in the anger phase, but this is just in case you didn't know, and they are.

No matter what (keeping her going a bit longer, or putting her down), this is a hard hard thing. You have my hugs and best wishes.

4) If you decide to try and keep her going longer... I highly recommend (if you don't already)
- Heated bed
- Warmer house temp (70-75, or heck 80) which is expensive but worth it when made consciously, or at least one closed room kept at 75+ with a space heater)
- Ground raw foods (again expensive but easier to digest)
- Diapering
- Pain meds

All my best.

Are there boarders, who will actually take a dog... in that condition????
If not, then what?
Next week is SOON... these places fill up fast. Reservations taken already?
What if you cannot find a place, to board your dog???
You cannot go on your trip.
Then... what if you do go on your trip and your dog is at a boarder... and your dog dies while you are away????
Speaking for myself, I would not be able to leave my pet in that condition... for one week and not be home.

Your dog, has Dementia.
And has or is losing her bodily functions and not eating.
In a human... those are signs... of upcoming, death.
Once an animal cannot eat or does not eat and cannot control their bodily functions... their body is shutting down.
My cat was like that. And you know what? On the way to the Vet, to put him down... I was holding him in a box with soft blankets in it. All he did was look at me straight in the eyes (my Husband was driving and I was holding him in a box), and he let out a sort of pained weak "meow".... and then, he died. He knew where we were taking him.... he just wanted to be near us. Because in all his pain and his inability to even walk... he'd just lay near us, all the time. We had to put pee pads under him all the time because he couldn't even control his body excretions. And he was too sore, for us to even carry him or hold him.
It is very sad... but he was dying... and then as we were taking him to the Vet, he died. On the way.

You need to find another room to keep her in, a room where she cannot get... outside. And into the pool and possibly drown.
She already got into the pool, twice already.

I would not put her down. I had a wonderful cat that was my best friend growing up. She lived to be 17 years old. When she was 7 years old, she jumped up on our glass coffee table, slid to the edge, and then fell off the table. She hit her head, and after that she suffered from seizures sometimes. She would have one or two seizures every year. As she got older, the seizures became more frequent and lasted a little longer. My cat never seemed to be bothered by having the seizures, and her vet assured us that she was perfectly healthy except for the seizures. Well, when she was 17, she started to have seizures almost daily. The last one, left her unable to use the litter box. She stopped eating. The vet showed us how to help her have a bowel movement. I surringe fed her for a week. She started to improve, and the vet told us she was through the hardest part. However, that evening our sweet little cat had another seizure. We took her back to the vet. She told us that we could try surringe feeding her again for another week, and if there was no improvement, it would be best to have her put to sleep. I stayed with her all night every night for both of those weeks. She purred when I held her, or even just had my hand laying next to her. After the second seizure, she stopped eating well even from the surringe. And that time she didn't recover. We had her put to sleep. When we put her in the car before taking her to the vet, I accidently hit my head on the door. She raised up out of her bed, meowed at me, and I cried so hard. She fell asleep on the way to the vet. She was only sleeping. When we got there, she raised her head to look at me, meowed a goodbye, and the vet took her. I still regret that I couldn't hold her while she passed. She didn't seem to be in pain, but she was so concerned for me. If I were you, I would love your sweet dog for as long as she can be with you. She will let you know when it is time. Let her have the dignity to die with her family loving her to the end. Let her tell you when that time is. Until then, I would make her comfortable and show her she is still very much a loved member of your family. I'm so sorry that you are going through this, especially during the holidays. In my opinion, this is probably the hardest part to being a pet owner. If you love her, and value her as a member of your family, if possible put aside your plans, and be there for her to celebrate her life to the end.

I also had a dog that lived to be 15 years old. He went blind when he was a puppy. As he got older, his hearing started to get worse. But he always knew when we entered the room. We would call his name from the living room, but he couldn't hear us. When we walked close to him, he could either smell us, or feel the vibrations from the floor because he woukd run up to us and lick our hands. He loved to play with his dog toys and to be hugged. He got a little confused when he got older, but he died naturally. A lot of my friends thought my dog was so hideous, but to me he was such a beautiful soul. Although he didn't see the world with his eyes for very long, he taught me that there is more than one way to see. Quality of life and dignity are what you choose them to be. If your sweet dog still has sparkle in her eyes for the tiniest moment, cherish it, and don't put that candle out just yet.

I've been there and while the decision is a really tough one it sounds like putting her down would be the most humane thing to do.

It's so hard to let go but at this point it sounds like she's suffering. She doesn't know what's happening and from what you describe she is very uncomfortable.

When our beloved Kaya was too old to get outside on her own and just couldn't move around comfortably anymore our vet was able to come to our home to put her down. My oldest Daughter (about 7 years old at the time) my husband and I held her through the process. She died with a chew treat in her mouth and her family around her. Not such a bad way to go if you think about it.

Oh I am so sorry! I think you need to take her to the vet and have her put to sleep. Be with her in her final hours, it's hard and hurts but she deserves that and it sounds like you love her so much! She's in pain, dogs don't show as much pain as they are in as it's a survival instinct not to show weakness.

Also, what if she dies while you are gone, scared and alone?

We are quickly coming up on the same decision, we have a 18 yr old beagle mix, he's been so active but is slowing down fast. That is the sad part of having a pet!

I am a life long dog lover and dog mama...she should not suffer any longer, it's time. When my Jack Russell/Beagle, Frankie died, it took a little over a year before I was ready to adopt a new pal from our local shelter. (Frankie was 16----I cried a lot).

My new little one Ray, is a two year old Chihuahua/Yorkie mix and he's a delight and has made my life happy again. This last week's tragedy with all those little children and teachers being killed has really got me down (along with the rest of America)....The only thing that makes me smile is playing with Ray.

I'm sorry this is happening to your family, especially at this time of year, but it can also be a life lesson for the family. I suggest that you go talk with your vet, he/she will help get you and your family through this difficult time.

Blessings and prayers...

ooh dear!! such a tough situation...

I get that she is a member of your family - however - it's time...sorry...I know this is the hardest decision to make as a pet owner...however...falling in the pool, losing control of bodily functions...yeah...it's time...she's 14...

you can make excuses left and right...you can say she's not in pain...but you contradict yourself - with "other than when her hip really bothers her..." our puppy was 14.5 when we put him down. 1 Dec 2008. We cried. Our vet let us stay with him...

We put Ben, our Cocker Spaniel, down the day before my 21st birthday day...at the vet on Baseline and Carneline....right past Carneline on the left...

Good luck...take some pictures...in my personal opinion, it's time. I know how hard it is...explain to your youngest that she's taken REALLY good care of us for the last 14 years, now, it's time for us to take care of her. It WILL NOT hurt her...she will live in your memories...but just imagine how hard it would have been if she would have drown in the pool..

My Heart goes out to you...hugs!!!

I'm with Frecklemama...use the scale to help decide.

And Dawnette: I cried when I read the story about your kitty! ♥

I know this is hard, my Mom just went through it with her 17 year old dog. THey had to put her down. She got to the point when she couldn't hold herself up to pee or poo (her legs were to weak, she kept falling down).

I agree with your husband :( Poor thing.

Talk to your vet. Ask if there are non-medical non-expensive ways to make her life comfortable. You may have to consider letting her go, but see if they have answers for you like doggie diapers, etc. Hugs to your family.

Please let your sweet dog go to sleep in your caring, comforting arms. I know it's heart-wrenching--we had to put our precious dog to sleep last year, and it was so hard. But when her quality of life has deteriorated to the extent you describe, it really is the most loving thing to do.

There is medication to treat canine dementia. There is also a diet that has some beneficial effect (Hills BD). You should schedule an appointment with your veterinarian to discuss. Best of luck - aging can be very difficult.

We are getting close to making this decision for our 12 1/2 yo bassett hound, same symptoms, just not as bad--yet (but hubby is steam cleaning the lv room carpet as we speak). A former vet told us (when we were facing when to put our cat to sleep) that when she wakes up in the morning and you "know" that she is not going to have a good day, or week, it's time. BIg hugs to you; as all the other moms have said, this is a lousy decision to have to make.

You'll know when the time is right to put her down. You won't have to ask. I would have a housesitter watch her. She needs to be in a familiar environment I'm so sorry, it's a difficult time to watch their decline.

The hardest things I've had to do is to decide "when" to put down an elderly pet. I try to look at it from the animal's perspective. In your dog's case, she's had a wonderful life, but now is suffering with quite a few things. This is no way to live. I wouldn't board her. That would be so confusing and hard on her. I would put her to sleep before you go away. I know that will be very, very hard, but I think in this case, it is the right thing to do for your sweet doggie. Release her from her suffering. Take care.

Thank you for asking this question. I'm in the same spot with my 17 yo cocker spaniel. I totally get what you are feeling...you want a obvious reason to put her down but you feel like she's still trucking on even though her quality of life has diminished. Same here. I cancelled an appt we had with the vet recently to put her down. I just couldn't do it! I wish she would go peacefully in her sleep so I don't have to make that decision. It's such a hard decision to make. I'm at the point where every bag of dog food I buy I think this could be the last bag. And I don't want to put her through a haircut so she's got a lot of fur right now which seems to be ok b/c it's been cold weather but it's not easy when she has accidents and it gets all over her. I block her in a bathroom when it is bedtime and I have young kids so I have baby gates to keep her from going up/down stairs. I think you need a better place to keep her ASAP or you're going to feel worse if she drowns. One thing I got from reading all these posts that made me feel better about my own situation is how many people support you putting her down. Putting a dog down b/c of the old age symptoms is the toughest thing. It's different if your vet is telling advising you to b/c of cancer, etc. No one will think badly of you if you did and no one should think badly of you if you don't just yet. From other posts people say you will know...well...yes you will know once it gets sooo bad but it's hard to judge if it's pretty bad right now b/c dogs are so quiet with their pain. : ( I would say get someone who can stay in your house with her while you are away vs boarding her. That just seems like she'll got through so much being boarded with the other dogs, not in her home, etc. I would want someone there just in case she had a seizure or something. Maybe you can talk with your family about it and that's your deadline and every day until then you spoil her ROTTEN! Just know that she's going to a better place where she won't feel pain. I just wanted to let you know you are not alone in this situation. Prayers to your dog and to all of you.

This is a really hard situation. My golden retriever started losing bladder control when he was 13, so we kept him in one area of our house, and made sure we took him outside frequently. It was just a few weeks later he couldn't even stand up so we knew he was in pain and had him put to sleep then. That was the hardest thing I ever had to do. I would consult with your vet if you are not sure what's best for your dog. I wish you and your family the very best.

I'd like to think that when my dog gets to where she can't function, I'll be able to make the decision to go ahead and put her down. It's not always that easy though, I know, so it's something your family has to weigh. Would boarding be good for her? She'll be confused, not knowing where she is, unable to see/hear. I imagine that would be pretty stressful for her.

If it were ME, I think at this point, I would put my beloved dog to rest. :(

Almost 2 years ago we had to put down our extremely loved dog.He was almost 17 and was having the same symptoms as your dog, pooping in the house. demensia, stiff... On my son's birthday he fell in the pool and if I wasn't home he wouldn't have been able to make it out by himself. It was so sad. I took him out and then just held him with gut wrenching sobs. I decided there that the time had come to put him down. His quality of life was poor and everytime he pooped in the house he looked humiliated. We took him to our local Humane's Society, which is where we got him from at 4 months, and they explained exactly what was going to happen. They have him doggy treats and as he was feasting on the treats, we, my 2 kid's, husband and me, were holding him and loving on him, and within seconds his eyes closed and he was gone. It was so peaceful and truly the most loving and humane thing we could have done for him. It was so hard but truly he was loved and died being loved.

I really feel for you and please know that your family and pup are in my thoughts and prayers.

Stephanie

Wow! Totally feeling for you...you have a ton of great answers and you have probably made up your mind, I am just happy to read all these good answers more for my benefit too, as we have an english springer spaniel/border collie mix who is 15 1/2 years old as well, with poor eye-sight, going deaf, but still continent (fortunately) but just wondering when our day will come as yours is, and what we will do...I just wonder, I know our day is coming and I am NOT looking forward to it as he is the BEST dog...its a terrible spot to be in. I hope you get it figured out what to do. I sure feel for you...it's going to make your holidays difficult no matter which way you choose. Sorry about your pain! :(

I know how hard this is and have been through it multiple times in my life. It sounds like it is time. A dog wants to be a dog and when it's time to go they don't have the same fears and emotions as we do. They want to play and run and sniff and jump and when they physically and mentally can't do it anymore, it's time to go. You don't want your sweet pet to die in some traumatic way, such as drowing in a pool. We have vets here in Nor Cal who come to your house. It was a wonderful experience. It was soooo sad, but our dog was at home and we fed him yummy treats and he just passed away. The vet was so kind and we buried him our yard. Makes me want to cry writing this, but it was time........hugs to you and your doggy. ) :

Can you secure the outside access to keep her inside? If so, do that then wait until after Christmas (if you celebrate it), and then let her go and have a celebration of her fabulous life. It's not easy for her nor you or your family to have to endure her struggles for much longer. Good luck and sending hugs!

Poor thing! That is so sad. I wish I coudl sit with her and pet her for a while! I'd say ask your vet if they can give her anything for the dementia or incontinence. I'd put doggie diapers on her. I'd put up baby gates and keep her in the kitchen. I personally would not board her but I'd get a live in house sitter so she is in her familiar home. I would cover the pool or make sure someone is watching her if she goes out....or gate off a small area for her outside. We have an elderly dog too...Kita...he is 16 years old and is hanging in there. I would not put her to sleep yet but I'd talk to the vet about it and see what they have to say. My plan is if the dog is not eating and is in pain...but how do you know for sure? It's a hard call. I plan on having someone come to our house to do it so our dog is at home.

I had to put my beautiful English Springer Spaniel down four years ago. She had cancer and could hardly breathe. Worst day for us, but it was the right thing to do. Sounds like your sweet girl has come to the end. This is how I see it. How do I want her to go. Drowning in a pool, getting hit by a car. My daughters /Springer was 14 and started walking into wall, disoriented. The time had come. When we put our Callie down first asked the vet what would happen if we keep her home until the end. He told me and at that point de died I wanted to be with her and have her passing a quiet one in the living arms of her family. We all gathered at the vets office,
Spent time with her and then she passed. I still miss her so much. She was such a good girl. You will know when the tome is right. I am so sorry about your sweet pup. I just would not want to see her suffer. Hugs to you.

Updated

I had to put my beautiful English Springer Spaniel down four years ago. She had cancer and could hardly breathe. Worst day for us, but it was the right thing to do. Sounds like your sweet girl has come to the end. This is how I see it. How do I want her to go. Drowning in a pool, getting hit by a car. My daughters /Springer was 14 and started walking into wall, disoriented. The time had come. When we put our Callie down first asked the vet what would happen if we keep her home until the end. He told me and at that point de died I wanted to be with her and have her passing a quiet one in the living arms of her family. We all gathered at the vets office,
Spent time with her and then she passed. I still miss her so much. She was such a good girl.