Bipolar and Schizophrenia both run in my family, but not in my immediate family, I was never in contact with my relatives that suffered from it. My severe postpartum was really the result of my BP2 going undiagnosed for many years. I had severe mood swings and depression from the time I was 8yo. Basically, the hormonal changes and added stress of a pregnancy and birth/breastfeeding caused my dopamine levels to be erratic, which caused me to fall into deep depressions which sometimes presented as severe sadness--to the point of melancholia- but also anger and irritability. It wasn't until I stopped trying SSRIs and started taking Welbutrin that my brain chemistry leveled out and left me feeling "normal" again, I also take a low dose antianxiety med for the roughest times. I refused to be medicated during pregnancy, which left me without that kind of help for 10 years. It was only 2 years ago that I was properly diagnosed, BP2 is a new diagnosis, it is different from BP1 in that I suffer from hypomania, not true mania, and only when under a lot of stress. SSRIs don't work with BP2, as it's not a serotonin problem, it's a dopamine problem.
Hypomania causes you to be a risk taker ("drive fast, take chances") when under stress, heavy drinking and using drugs to try to "numb the pain", people with this also are promiscuous and have difficulty maintaining healthy relationships.
In my experience (I belong to a bipolar support group), those who go unmedicated and without proper counseling are doomed to repeat the same behaviors over and over again. I was lucky enough to have a great deal of family support and access to free mental health care through a local agency. Both have helped me to live a relatively normal life, even during the bad years. It sounds like your husband's ex needs proper medical care and to be on the appropriate meds, which unfortunately differ from person to person and can require frequent adjustments to find the right ones. This process can be frustrating, to say the least.
Much love to you all.