Does Anyone Here Have Any Autistic Children?

Im sorry I do not have any autistic children. I was wondering what area you live in? I am trying to seek a new employer and I will need a sitter close to my home for my 1 year old. i live in west county

Suzi,

What type of autisim does this girl have? Has anyone considered having her retested? Sometimes a wrong diagnosis can be given and as the child ages more symptoms occur either more strongly or less noticably. I have a 15 year old step-son who has Aspergers. He was first diagnosed as Tourettes. We got him retested and he fits this diagnosis so much better. Some of the symptoms you have mentioned for this little girl sound similar to Aspergers. Especially the part of wanting everyone's full attention, throwing tantrums and being sneaky.

One of the best things is structure. It makes the child feel safe. They have a routine and varying from it can cause friction especially if the child cannot verbalize their feelings. Sometimes it is like the child is walking, talking, playing, living in their own world, which they most likely are. The child cannot always associate your being in their world. Kind of like a fantasy life. As long as they are in their fantasy then they are in control of their life. When they come to reality then they know they are different and cannot always understand why they are different and it causes the frustration and anger to come out.

If the child is having an episode of anger there are so many different ways to control it. It depends on the child, suggestions by a doctor or therapist, the diagnosis of the child and a hit or miss trial period. It could range from artistic outputs such as music (radio), drawing, painting, writing, singing; to restricting the child to a safe room where the child can pout, cry, throw a tantrum (no hard furniture), retreat into books, throw things (soft pillows), hit things (punching bags); some people forcibly restrict a child while soothing them (consult books and doctors before trying this one); weighted vests (gives the same comforting feeling) and/or ignoring the child completely unless they are dangerous. So many different ways that take time and patience to learn which is best.

As for the mother, her coping skills could be a problem due to unsurity of how to respond to her daughter. Once a good diagnosis is found the best thing to do is read, read some more, visit therapists, read again and do research. That and good prayer for guidance and patience. I fully understand her predicament. This is not something you learn overnight and remember at a moments notice. She needs confidence and a good support team. Check out EFECT, they are located online at www.EFECT.org. They do have meetings monthly in Lee's Summit. They have a whole list of good connections within Missouri.

Whatever you and the mother do.......contact a Disability Advocate for the child. With the child in school an IEP will be needed. The school system will establish one but as we have learned it is not a good one. It is only what they are required to do and it takes "Magic Words" to get the full help the child needs as they continue through their school career. Without those "Magic Words" the school does not legally have to respond. And forget about the school ever giving those "Magic Words" to you. They will say they are doing all that they can but in reality they are doing only as much as they will until the words are spoken. Then watch all of the doors open and avenues spring forth. The Advocate is respected, listened to by the the school and will fight into the court room if need be. They know the ins and outs of the school systems and how changing as little as one word can effect your childs learning ability. You can put in for S.S.I. through the Social Security Office to help defray some of the costs of the Advocate. The EFECT group can help you find a Disability Advocate in your area.

I hope I have helped some!
Lilly :)

I would highly recommend that you contact the Child Day Care Association at ###-###-####. If you are not yet registered it is free and easy and it is a great resource. You can get direct 1 on 1 help from them. You should also consider getting more information from mom and/or the school or occupational therapists. You should ask if the child has sensory integration disorder and what his actual diagnosis is and look that up online.
another child care provider with a high functioning autistic son
L. Wilson
www.lisaslearningland.com

Hi Suzi! My nephew is autistic. He is 5 1/2. Our family is learning daily to adjust to the needs of "our buddy". He brings so much joy to our lives but believe me - I totally understand the frustration of dealing with the mood changes. They are sudden and sometimes scary. My son and his cousin are buddies but discipline is extremely difficult when they are together. They have to be handled so differently - as I see someone had mentioned in another response - even the way you speak to an autistic child has to be different. It sounds like the girls mother needs to get involved in support groups. I have a hard time coping with my 3 year old a lot of the time - I can not imagine being the parent of an autistic child without a lot of supportive people in my life. My nephew is attending a public school in town that offers a highly acknowleged Autistic program. I think it is very important for the parents and caregivers of autistic children to be well educated about there childrens special needs. It sounds like you really want to help but I have the same concerns as McKenna. The girl may need to be in an enviroment specifically structured for her needs. I am not saying you can't provide that but I do believe it would be difficult for you and the other children in your care. It is just such a time consuming one on one behavior. As you mentioned she really wants your full attention or she starts making trouble. She may need one on one care to progress properly. These formative years are so important for autistic children to adjust and find what works for them. Autism is really breaking the old trend of children just sort of fitting in to your life - you the adult being in charge - running the show. We as the adults have to adjust our lives around what these children need. There is no getting around that if you want the child to prosper. I hope things work out the best for everyone. A. charm

My sister has an 11 yr old son who isn't autistic, but he has some charactistics. He requires a lot of attention. At school he has an aid that is specifically for him; I believe it is funded by a grant. I'm not sure how to go about getting these grants; however, since you run a daycare, you may be able to aqcuire something of the sort for this child as well, without using your daycare funds.

My oldest son was once diagnosed as "high functioning autistic", among other things, and we have had our share of tantrum dealing and the like. He is now 11 and is learning to deal with his anger and emotions better, but it will be a lifelong struggle. Here's a little information that might be of assistance:

what I discovered is that so much of the tantruming was (is) from not understanding the emotions coursing through their little bodies and brains and fearing the depth of it. Their only recourse is to rage, throw, do things that are tangibly expressive to release it. Sort of like the valve on an old furnace -- steam needs to be released and since there is no governor inside, it gets released however it can or it will explode.

I know the girl in your care seems sneaky and she may very well be so, but autistic children tend not to be aware of others, they live only in a vacuum and for her to pursue attention from adults may mean there is something more going on for her. You might want to consider a couple of things:

while she may very well be autistic, she may also be bipolar, OCD, have Tourette's or be Fragile X. That her verbal skills are soaring is very encouraging, but that her raging is continuing at its same level even though she has learned to verbalize better may have nothing to do with autism at all or everything. It's a tricky sort of diagnosis. I would encourage the mother to have her tested for any ancillary issues. When she is raging/tantruming, you can try "containment": sit in a comfortable chair with her on your lap, her back against your chest, "contain" her arms and legs with your own and talk her down. This would actually be better for the mother to do since it is a rather physical act and the child will continue to tantrum, thrash about and rage for quite awhile in your arms. It would be terrible if in your quest to help her you are charged with hurting her. Containment is a very intense and very effective method of mellowing a tantrum out. Its purpose is to, over the course of time, help calm the tantrum so that it is contained, how the child experiences the anger becomes more manageable and appropriate until their anger is natural not so overt. In the talking to the child, you sooth them with words of encouragement, going on about how you know the pain is huge, the anger is big, you are there for them, you love them, they are safe and so on. Another method, which you can use, is to have her identify her anger -- draw it as she sees it on a piece of paper... what does it look like? what kind of animal is it? what color is it? how big is it? does it run? does it make sound? if it was a song what would it be? and so on. Have her put the anger into pictures, light, colors, anything besides words, since she has no words to express it. What food is it? What would it taste like or does it taste like?

Autism is very much a catchall for many behaviors that are hard to understand. It sounds like this girl needs to know she is safe, that she is loved. That is not to say her mother does not do that for her. The safety out in the world is a far different fear for an autistic child than feeling safe at home. I know this is rambling, but try to understand that the sneakiness you see may very well stem from her inability to control herself so she is trying to control things in the only way she knows how -- duplicity, manipulation, etc. First off, however, find out what other maladies she may have going on with her. As I mentioned, it is very unusual for an autistic child to pursue attention and be aware of doing so. Much of what they do is reaction not action. It is beyond them.

Please know that she is always "normal" in her realm of being. Ultimately, she is a very scared and confused little girl, because what is going on inside of her is like a storm that has no end in sight and for which she has no tools to calm.

Good luck to you all.

I HAVE A 6.5 YEAR OLD BOY WITH AUTISM, AND 2-4YRS WAS A HARD TIME FOR HIM TOO, BUT THE THING WITH A CHILD W/AUTISM IS LIFE MUST BE VERY STRUCTURED AND A PRETTY REG. DAILY ROUTINE. EVERY ONE IN THIS CHILD LIFE NEEDS TO BE ON THE SAME PAGE WITH CONTROL, YOU MUST BE STRICT BECAUSE THEY ARE LIKE WILD FIRE, IF THEY EVERY GET OUT OF CONTROL THEY WILL PUSH EVERY LIMIT THEY CAN. SOME PEOPLE THING THE VERY STRICT THING IS MEAN, BUT THERE IS A DIFFERENCE BETWEEN MEAN AND BEING STRICT TO HELP THEM MAKE THAT MOVE INTO A NORMAL AS POSSIBLE LIFE IN THE REAL WORLD.

I do not have any autist children, but I am a child care provider in a very large center. I have 2 and 3 year olds, 8 of them. Two of the children in my care are autistic and one is high on the spectrum and the other is low on the spectrum. I only have my CDA and I go to school part time and have no special education training. I do however have the experience and the patience to work with these two boys and I have had to learn as I go. I feel you have to get into their world and no one thing works with all children. Sometimes it's best for me to just sit back and watch the boys instead of trying to get them to do task all the time. They have learned so much just from being with the other children and I will always do what is best for them. I to have seen the tantrums and been beat up with black eyes and busted lips, but I did not give up and it has been almost 2 years since they came to my room and the fits have all but stoped in my room. They do still have the fits at home, but it's because they get their way with their parents and I never gave in. I also am the first person to here real words spoken by one of the boys and I get calls from one of the boys mom at my home when she can't get her child to calm down. I get alot of joy being with these two, and the other children in my care know how to help calm the boys and know the body language well enough that they can help with getting things for the boys before I can get to them. You sound like you are giving your all to this child,just hang in there and don't give up. She needs someone like you in her life.

I do not have an autistic child but have friends that do. To my knowledge this situation with her behavior will not really change and she will become very strong as she gets older and can lash out in a fit. It is a full-time job just trying to care for one child with this condition. You may seek out assistance from the Judevine center, it use to be in Sunset Hills but not sure if they are still there. I bet they have alot of info that would be helpful, try their website at judevine.org. Hope it helps.

yes I do I am a mother of four who is seperated and my youngest is 8 months old..I live in Pekin Illinois and needless to say I have no support from family closer than 1 hour away..I understand your frustrations..Autistic children are innocently sweet but they are hard to handle sometimes which puts a "non-typical" family even more chaotic...I would like to talk to you further regarding your ?'s and concerns..I am a nurse and also was a childcare provider in the past...me too...is very much overhwhelmed with the added obstacles one has to hurdle over with an autistic child..let alone being a single mom with no supports near by...

I have an autistic son who is 4. If you want to message me with some more of your concerns and I can tell you what has worked for me.
I am not the most structured person, and neither is my son, so schedules don't work in my house. We have tried and tried but with 2 other kids in the house, it just wasn't working. A lot of autistic children strive for a routine so much that they will put themselves on one and will not deviate. But this can be troublesome if there is ever a NEED to deviate. ( I hate to use this as an example but...remeber Rainman? He had to watch his show, and have k-mart underwear. ) But others like doing new things.
I did notice that the more my sons verbal skills grew, the bigger his attitude grew too. He will throw a fit and when I try to explain why he can't do something, or "get onto him", he gets even more upset and then he is unconsolable. It's tough to watch and deal with, but when that happens I try to tell him when he is done being upset he can come sit with me and I will hold him and talk to him about what went wrong. However, I can't talk to him condesendingly, or in a scolding manner because he picks up on it, and just gets upset again I have to talk to him almost like I am telling a story.
Every kid on the spectrum is different. I have said this before in other posts, you have to find the right key to unlocking what will work for each child. It may be something you have never thought of before, or something so obscure and unusual you never would have thought of it. I don't know how old she is or what kind of therapy or work is being done with her, but perhaps you could have someone come to your house, or get some suggestions from behavioral therapists. They may have a suggestion about a book or two you could read to help out the situation.

Sorry I don't have a response to your request but I wanted to get some information about the daycare you run. Can you tell me where you are located and what your rates and hours are as well as activities you do during the day.

Thank you,
A.

Suzi

There is usually a signal that shows a TT is about to take place, it can be a squeal, a flutter of fingers, pacing, rocking, (my daughters voice changes in pitch) and when I hear the signal I immediately begin supporting her to "slow down her body, and explain I won't be able to understand or help her fix what is making her mad and sad."

Doing this consistently each time the signal comes has taught her to recognize it in herself and from age 7 to now (14) she is able to modulate and self regulate - I also had her medicine changed to assist with dopamine transmitters and anxiety during the teaching phase (Geodon 10 mg. compunded) and once she learned the skills of self management began weaning her off the Geodon. She unfortunately also has bi-polar as well as the autism and so we had to change her stabilization medication to a mood stabilizer Lamictal and we are seeing wonders! She is now in puberty and the premenstrual screaming and TT's have completely been resolved...good luck! Don't forget to use sensory methods to chill out with for example it is very difficult to ignore an icecube when handed one...Here hold this please and take it over to the bowl of icecubes for me - thank you then the heavy proprioceptive input of the wet and cold easily distract her from the immediate expulsion of the intense feelings. (That is what the tt's really are unregulated intensity) Our job is to be the external Teachers of internal locus of control....

Good luck!

I would assume that she is receiving services from her local school district. I would talk with her parents and ask permission to speak with her teacher/therapist about strategies they use in the classroom for learning 'classroom skills', including how to act in the classroom. If she is not receiving services (you should refer them to the school district ASAP) there is lots of information available on using picture schedules. If you structure her day and represent each part of that day with a picture things should get a lot better.

I have a 6 year old son who has autism so I can completely understand when u have a child who has tantrums the only difference between my case and ur case he has tantrums wit me. Hitting me,throwing things,stomping, and screaming. There are resources out there u have 2 find them if u need help wit resources u can call me at ###-###-#### A. Reeves