Do You Think It Is Wrong to Dye Children's Hair?

i knew a girl who's daughter had pink hair until she was in like, 2nd grade. Let them express themselves if they want.

I always have thought that my 5 year old would look so cool with pink hair. It would perfectly suit her coloring, and it is her favorite color.

She's not interested. Sigh. I guess she didn't get her mom's rebellious streak. I'm hoping that works in my favor when she's in HS.

No, I would not allow it. When my daughters are older, say at least 18 then it will be their decision. I would prefer to have them want a "pink" extension put into their hair. I saw my hairdresser do this for a little girl whose mom originally wanted her to highlight it pink, but she talked the mom out of it.

Wow...just wow. Children have the most beautiful God given hair with gorgeous natural highlights. Not sure why ANYONE would want to mess with that. And not sure why anyone would want to send the message to their child that their hair SHOULD be messed with. Sad.

I guess I just feel like people want to make their kids little adults far too early. It seems to happen much more with girls than boys, and I think it's sad. Would it even occur to you to dye a son's hair? I also think it can have detrimental long-term effects. I don't get parents who think it's cute for their little girls to wear high heels, suggestive sayings on t-shirts, clothing that looks like something a 21 year old would wear to a nightclub, etc. To me -dying hair goes with that. I know ear-piercing has some cultural ties with some groups, but I think kids should be kids until they hit puberty. As far s haircuts -that's often for ease and most haircuts don't give a child a grown-up appearance.

Childhood is a very short time compared to the rest of our lives. I worry about what kind of message it sends to really young girls -you're not good enough or pretty enough the way you are -you need some "help" to look better. Your hair is okay, but it will look so much better with highlights or a different color all-together! Sure -maybe that's true, but I think she should wait until high school to find out. I don't even think such matters should enter into the head of a 7 or 8 year old girl.

I think the issue is teaching your daughter that her physical appearance is not the most important thing. I think we have to be careful of the values we are teaching our girls. I wouldn't dye her hair OR buy her expensive designer clothes etc at that age because I would want to teach her that her personality and academics etc etc are more important. If she was a teen and begging me I might give in but I would hold off on this stuff as long as possible to try to teach her the value of just being herself. With all the woman getting plastic surgery and the teens girls with anorexia I would be afraid of sending the wrong message - that she isn't beautiful enough the way she is.

For my daughters 10th b'day my mom took her to the salon and had several streaks of pink put in the front of her hair. It looked AWESOME.

Here is what the stylist did - yes, they do have to bleach the strands. But, she started out not at the scalp, but down just a tiny bit so the bleach and the dye never touched her scalp (roots show quicker on dark hair, but you're going 'punk' anyway, so it doesn't matter). Then she did a semi-permanent gloss, which lasts about 10 shampoos / 2 weeks and fades over each wash. She gave my daughter a kit of a couple colors so that she could 'experiment'.

Here is what I told my daughter:
pink hair is OK self-expression. Drugs and sex are NOT. it's kind of like a mantra in our house.
She also knows that if we have to go somewhere that pink hair is not acceptable, she would have to style it so the pink doesn't show (although we haven't had any come up).

To me, her hair is an 'accessory' and she can style it however she wants. We did have the conversation that she will get 'looked at' and people will make decisions about you based on the fact that you have done non-traditional things with your hair.

in a sense my feeling is this.....
Dye your hair, rip your leggings, draw designs on your old worn-out non-school jeans, wear 70000000000 silly bands. Be who you are.
Speak respectfully, act responsibly, pick up after yourself (and others if they can't or won't). Try new foods, practice piano so that you can be proud of your accomplishments, study and try to learn all you can because others can't or won't. Clean your fish tank every week because your fish depends on you to live.
Don't get a tatoo until you are old enough to know if you want that for the rest of your life. don't kiss boys unless you know neither of you is kissing anyone else, choose your friends well enough that they won't get you into trouble with their choices and be strong enough to tell them you won't go along with everything they do.

hair color? DON'T CARE.

funny that most respondents are assuming girls!
i let my boys do wacky things to their hair (mohawks before everybody had 'em, manic panic semi-permanent colors) from about 8 or so on. we all thought it was fun. i spent $80 for my elder to get his done a gorgeous deep blue for his homeschool prom. he looked amazing.
both my kids have beautiful hair, but they like to fardle about with it from time to time. i had a much harder time with my older boy's tatt when he turned 18. hair didn't faze me a bit.
:) khairete
S.

Yes I do think it is wrong. Who knows what the chemicals are doing to them.

I won't bash but just to answer your poll- I will say I wouldn't allow for my daughter to dye her hair. I agree it is probably no different than ear pericing but we are not allowing that until she is older either. This question did make me think about why I woudn't allow it and I think one of the main reasons is that the dye is damaging and I would like her hair to stay in it's natural healthy state for a long as possible. I stopped dying my hair 5 years ago and I'm so glad I did- it's so much healthier. I also think that dying her hair would give her an older look that I just don't think she needs to have. All that being said- this was just a poll and I'm not saying you are wrong.

Well, my opinion is that I would never do it for my 7 year-old. I'm not going to go so far as to say it is "wrong" but I would worry about the message you are sending to an impressionable little girl about not being okay (not being pretty enough etc) just the way she is. I think that girls are bombarded with that message from society starting at an incredibly young age and I wouldn't want my daughter to think that I, as her mother, agreed with it. I would want to raise a daughter who is comfortable in her own skin, and who doesn't feel like she needs makeup, highlights, jewelry, whatever to be beautiful. I'm not saying that isn't possible if you allow your daughter to highlight her hair, I'm just saying I probably wouldn't for the reasons I've stated. Just my opinion.

I don't currently dye my own hair (not since I was preggers 8 years ago, I was curious to see what the color was naturally, and now I've started relaxing it and can't afford to both dye it and relax it)

... but I've dyed my son's hair several times.

LOL... first off was like you... Only it was St. Patricks Day 3 years ago, and his school had a "Green Competition". So of COURSE we dyed his hair bright green. ((Yes. He won the "pot of gold". And NOPE! Didn't wash out as claimed whatsoever.)) Since then, he's asked to do different things with his hair and I've let him to his hearts content. Mostly he prefers natural. Other times he wants streaks or all over color. No problemo. It's hair. It cuts off / grows back.

IMHO it's a way for him to feel special and have control over his own life in a way that is completely and totally a non-issue. Children have very little control over their own lives. Having a fun chance to do so I'm all about.

I personally would not do it. I think that little girls are already having too many issues with being over-sexualized. There are so many pedifiles out there and I am not going to do anything with my daughter to make her look older, sexier, etc. MAYBE when my daughter is in highschool, but she will have to get it cleared by her dad first. I am a licensed cosmetologist, so I can easily do it myself pretty inexpensively, and always buy proffessional products for my kids to use on their hair anyways, so that part is not the issue. I just think it is good to keep them kids. I don't think that it is Wrong to dye your hair, but in my personal opinion, it is not age appropriate.

I wouldn't say it's wrong but I'll tell you my daughter's hair lightened up and I was so insulted when someone asked me if I colored it or if it was natural. Granted she is two but I was thinking that my girl is beautiful and why on earth would I send a message that she was anything but. She'll have her whole rest of her life to worry about all those beauty regimens us women do, I really just want my girls to be kids. If I seen a lil' one with dyed hair (maybe 11 ish or younger) I wouldn't think bad of the mom but truthfully my thought would be 'wow that mom lives vicariously through her daughter.' I see a lot of lil' girls look like mini adults it creeps me out. :)

I don't know that I think it's wrong... I just would be concerned about the underlying message that might translate to the child. Will they think they aren't as attractive as their peers unless they do this? Is it the child's idea or is it something the mother wanted to do TO the child? That sort of thing.

It isn't an issue at our house, so far anyway. My daughter is 9. She has beautiful long blond hair and blue eyes. But she is NOT at all into "girly" things. She doesn't like wearing dresses, or high heels, etc. She mostly prefers jeans and a Tshirt and Converse or Vans sneakers. She doesn't like wearing anything in her hair (except to put it up in a ponytail) and never has. Even as a toddler she would pull out any little clips I put in her hair (just to keep it out of her face). She doesn't even like me to braid it. But she doesn't want it all cut off either. Sometimes she'll let me blow it dry for her. But usually, she just has no interest in doing anything special with it at all.
Which is fine with me. One day she'll like boys and decide to do something a little fancier... maybe. :)

My son, blond hair, blue eyed too. He used to want his hair dark (so he could style it like Elvis). He didn't get very far in his quest. And now he is all into looking good (he is in middle school) and I don't think he would think it very masculine to dye his hair, lol.

FWIW, I don't and never have colored my hair, with the exception of around age 22, I let my stylist put some lighter highlights around my face. Once. It looked great, but I've always been complimented on my hair without "doing" anything to it's color and I don't see any reason to start.

Back to the child part of the question though: I think our society already tries to make our children grow up and be mature way sooner than they should. So I'm not going to try to speed it up any and I think it is rather disappointing to see others want their kids to be "grown up" at such a young age.

Personally, I don't agree with dying children's hair. My daughter has always hated her hair, when she was 6th grader, her grandmother (my mom) let her get her hair straightened with a perm. Then next year let her dye her hair jet black because that is what she wanted. I was mad at both of them, especially my mom. She was trying to make my daughter happy, and she knew I didn't want her have it done. My daughter is almost 16, she's colored more, straightened it, cut it. She looks back at her pictures and has made lots of comments how beautiful I had her hair. She's mixed, and had beautiful light brown hair curly hair with blond highlights, naturally, and it will never look that good again.

I would have let her color (natural colors) it when she hit high school, not jet black though. I also don't believe in infant ear piercing, she got hers done on her 6th Birthday when she asked me to get them done. My opinion, why rush them growing up? They can color their hair for the rest of their life, especially after 30.

I saw that post too ;)

I don't see any problem with it, as long as it's age appropriate. I wouldn't dye MY 2 daughters hair only because they have the most beautiful natural highlights... the stuff people pay big money to get.

As for me, the only reason I dye my hair is because of all the GRAYS this kiddos are giving me, and I'm only 27!! I think I was about 20 the first time I dyed my hair...

But back on the topic, I see nothing wrong dying children's hair. I know there are women out there (didn't read the other posts) preaching about how awful it is for you... but whatever. We all survived ;) I like the point you made when you said it's 'mother-daughter' time, that must be so nice!! Again, as long as it's age appropriate, it's really no different than getting a little girls ears pierced, fingernails painted, or which shoes she wears :)

PS.... I LOVE Brenna's answer!!

I'm also in the "no" camp for a child that young. I agree w/ the other moms who say let them be children while they're children. She has a lifetime ahead of her to change her look. I think it sends the wrong message to a child that young. Children need to learn to be confident in themselves as they are naturally. I highlight my own hair, but didn't start doing that until I was 16 or 17 -- and I know for a fact that my parents wouldn't have let me do it any younger than that, either.

I think its great in the circumstances you describe.

I remember with great fondness how in times past as a young girl my Mum would put lemon juice in my hair and I would sit in the sun to get some `highlights`. Infact, I remember the excitment when some blonde appeared and how our Mum would encourage and compliment any sun blonding that occured over the Summer in both my sister and my hair!

These days it would be considered negligent to let our kids bake in the sun for long periods of time. So , what was innocent fun in the past is now judged differently now.

I recently let my 8 year old get some blonde `sun streaks` in the front when I was getting my hair done. It was fun and really looks just like Summer hair if we would let her suntan which we dont. Her Dad and I love it and think it is very pretty on her. We aren`t into makeup or beauty contests or grown up clothes etc for our kids if that needs to be said.

I started using Sun-In to add highlights to my hair when I was 12 (with my mom's approval). By 16 I was completely dying it. I've had every natural color you can think of, and also midnight blue once =) I think it's super fun to dye my hair b/c even if it's permanent dye, I can always dye it a different color a few months later. I don't think it has anything to do with lack of self-confidence, I just look at it as a way to completely change my look easily and inexpensively. I think it's no different than changing my jewelry. And honestly, even the cheap hair dyes have gotten a lot better over the last 10 yrs or so. They don't smell nearly as bad as they used to, especially b/c I do it in my kitchen so I'm in a nice open, ventilated area.
I have 2 daughters, ages 6 and 4. If my 6 yr old asked me to dye her hair, I'd probably do a wash-out dye for her. Like I said, I think it's just fun, not anything to be worried about damaging their self-confidence =)
Oh, and as far as the people who have said it's damaging to the hair, I think that's true to some extent, but no more than using a blow dryer or flattening iron or curling iron. If you use the conditioner that comes with the dye after you rinse the color out, and then continue to use a conditioner on your hair at least half the time you wash your hair, then you won't have any problems with dry or damaged hair just from dying it. I dye my hair on average 3-4 times a year and my hair is extremely soft. I try to avoid using heat on my hair, though, b/c my hair feels soo dry after I do, even if I use leave-in conditioner.

Hi A.
I'm in the no camp.
I think 7yrs is too young.
You were 12yrs and did it yourself which I think is normal teenage behaviour to experiment with one's look.
B.

I'm not saying it's wrong, but I wouldn't allow my child to do something that permanent to their hair until they turned 13. At that point, I would give them control of their hair and if they wanted to dye it... Then they will have to live with the consequences. Same with ear piercing... Not till the child is 13.

Yes it's wrong. Our neighbor allows her daughter to get a clump of pink hair glued to her daugther's scalp once a year, but that's for cancer awareness and only lasts for about a month.

Besides that, highlights are not dyes, it's bleach. Bleach is very damaging, but even if she were dying her hair darker, it would still be wrong in my book.

My only concern is the maintenance involved! Are you prepared to take her to the salon every few months to get her highlights retouched? It just seems so unnecessary and kind of a pain to do for a child. I get my hair highlighted, but I am an adult who must cover up her gray hair! If you don't mind the maintenance, cost, and time it involves, then go for it. However, if your financial situation is tight, then definately skip the highlights and put the money toward much better use (like something she really needs).

Oh my gosh, what a big deal as along as you use natural. This will be shocking, but growing up I had a boy cousin who was 9 years younger. His parents were drunks so it was like i was his mom(he actually called me mama and his mom he called by name:)) Anyways, when he was 7 he decided he wanted blond hair(his natural hair was very dirty blond), at that time I was dying my hair red. So one day I died his hair light blond, it looked very natural, he liked it. Looking back I think it was crazy, but we did it for couple of years till I left my home country. He is young adult now and still does it:) His self image was not damaged in any way......it's just hair....

Well, I'd never dye my older daughter's hair, but mostly because she has a gorgeous auburn color that people pay a lot of money for! LOL My younger daughter has light brown hair that would probably look great with some highlights, but honestly, who has time to keep up on that kind of stuff? I can't even keep my own highlights going, let alone worry about anyone else's. And then there's the issue of, you dye your hair, and now you need special shampoo, and your hair gets dry so you need to do all kinds of conditioning treatments... I don't have the energy to keep up with that for my kids at this point. Unless and until they are able to deal with (and pay for) all of that on their own (I'm thinking at least junior high but possibly high school), no hair dye for them. I'm not opposed to it morally - I mean, some people are born with an unfortunate hair color, and if you have the means to change it, why not? But it's the logistics that I can't wrap my head around for younger children.

During summer time everyone think I dye my 10 yr old sons hair because he gets some major blond highlights. I think its funny and just laugh it off.
I dont think there is anything wrong with it.

I don't think it's wrong, as long as your daughter enjoys it. Don't be surprised, though, when she asks to wear makeup at 10!

I guess I do think it's wrong (until the previous question I had never even heard of anyone dying their kids hair). It seems to be teaching little girls that they are not good enough the way they are and need to be fixed. I think that is different from clothing - that changes everyday and while fashion is fun, it also keeps us warm and dry. I also don't believe in piercing for children (I got my ears done when I was 18, I went with my mom and she got hers done at the same time) or make up.

I say go for it.To me hair has it's own personality.I would of course stray away from the chemical filled amonia type colors & highlights.Have you ever tried SUN IN my sis used this growing up my parents thought it was hairspray she wasn't young using this product but her hair was a warm blonde it really made a difference on her hair it gave her really pretty highlights.We just never dyed our hair growing up the first I ever did I was 18 then the color was awful so I never tried now going on 31 with 3 kids I have a new hair style plus my grays are popping out I'm coloring & cutting on a monthly basis I do my hair coloring at home & love my new color so does everyone else.My daughter I had her hair cut before Christmas another 6 inches she hasn't had it cut in over a year so it grew out more rats & tangles more fuss so I did another 6 inches it came out really cute I like the layer effect the hair really plays out I have always had her in foam curlers overnight when it was either a Holiday or special occasion that we were dressing up,I also use the curling iron blow dryer & flat iron my girls will have their hair done before leaving the house it is a part of being a girl & put together,plus they feel good about themselves.I hate when I feel frumpy I don't wnat my girls to go through this I want to teach them to get up be happy they are beautiful & show who you are don't hide behind it.My girls have had their ears pierced at 4 months,I painted their toes before they were old enough to suck on their toes people just laughed they thought it was so cute & only I would do this.I have 1 boy & 2 girls my son gets a haircut every month or every other month depending on how much was takedn off the haircut prior to the next he has now voiced his opinion that he wants to let it grow out not the usual haircut next time I took a step back realized he is getting older & dad was there to tell me it's ok let him see how he wants his hair to grow so i'm ok with it now in a few months school will be over & if he goes shaggy during the summer i'll just have to wait & see how he likes it.I guess he is wanting the skater type hair now.
Does your daughter like getting her hair colored is it ok with her?I don't see why people would bash we are all raising our children the way we want & your just asking if others do it or plan to do it not asking their parenting style.

I personally wouldn't dye my child's hair, especially if s/he didn't ask me to in the first place. It's too much like make-up to me, and I wouldn't let a 7-yo wear make-up either.

But this post got me thinking. My mom always permed our hair. We have a picture of her perming my sister's hair when she was two. I guess it's really not that different than dyeing, when you think about it. Not that I would perm my kids' hair either, but that's mostly because I'm lazy. I think I'd be more likely to say yes to that than to a dye job, even though I really couldn't tell you what the difference is now that I really put some thought to it.

not for an everyday thing. no I think children should be happy with who they are and what they were born with. Things like hair color are superficial and dying a childs hair that young as an every day occurrence is teaching them to not be happy with what they have.
Now for the summer my daughter wants pink streaks, sure pink streaks are fine, pink streaks is who she is.

I do think it's wrong to "highlight" a child's hair.

No, I do not. I think children should be children for as long as possible, and I think things like hair dying and ear piercing are things they have long enough to do and have as adults. Not to mention the chemicals that are in the dye. It can say non-toxic all day long but that doesn't mean anything. Do more research on the ingredient list and you will see!! :-)

I would not do it. The difference to me is that ear piercings & haircuts do not involve leaving checmicals sitting on my childs skin. When pregnant it is suggested for women to not dye or get permanants in their hair until later in pregnancy if at all since it is not known what effect the chemicals can have on a fetus.....in my mind then it can't be good for a young developing child.

I don't see the big deal at all. It's hair, it's not even alive for crying out loud. What's the difference with all the rage about letting young boys have Mohawks? Nobody seems to care about that and the hair takes some time to grow back. I think it sounds cute. :D

I hadn't thought about it at all until I started reading these few posts. We dye their hair (temporary)for crazy hair days at school and Halloween, but not just on a regular basis.

I'd say that I wouldn't have a problem, at all, using a temporary color if my daughter wanted some pink streaks or some sort of change. I'm not sure I'd do it permanently, only because I could very well see her wanting highlights, then freaking out afterwards! I'd have to do some major fixing to get her hair back to it's original color.

I think that if a family is used to changing up their hair (cosmetologist or stylists,etc), it would be fun to experiment. If the child is ok with it, sure.

Knowing how shy my daughter can be and the fact that she can embarrasses, easily, I doubt this will come up any time soon, though. :)

*I would only do a dye if it were the natural ones you can get at Whole Foods or any other natural store. None of the drugstore dyes for a kid, would be my stipulation.

Childhood is SO short - let her be a little girl. You are "telling" her that she is not good enough like she is & needs to change. She could forever go through life thinking that she needs to change - that people won't like her just the way she is.

If my kids want to dye their hair as teens I would have no issue with it. I started dying my at 16, but I do remember my mom putting highlights in once when I was younger, maybe 8. I think that is fine if it is what the child likes, after all, it is her hair.

I personally would not dye my girls' hair or let them do it (all the hair) until they are teens solely because most dyes cause damage to hair (if they really wanted highlights at age 10 or so I probably wouldn't have a problem). As it stands, I can't imagine either of my children sitting still long enough to actually have their hair dyed. When they are old enough to do it themselves, articulate reasonably why they want it done or pay to have it done then they can do it/have it done.

I'm in the NO!!!! camp too. You got some good advice about not turning her into a little adult too soon. On the lighter side, tune into toddlers and tiaras and see what the extreme view some of us have in our heads after viewing the show. Whats next, spray tanning? teeth whitening? hair extensions? Of course not, but you get the idea. The show is a hoot!

By the way, our elementary and middle schools prohibit hair dye.

My brother (yes my brother) and I have had our run ins with Sun In. Remember that stuff? UGH! I think I was 16 at the time.....He was a little older because he was one of those Really blond kids whose hair turned dark in his late teens early 20s. I wouldn't be opposed to something like you are doing for my daughter, but I would want someone who knew what they were doing to do it, not necessarily me ;-) so around here, cost would be an issue unless I was sure there we wouldn't mess something up.

P.S. Around here kids and ladies are getting these shiny threads tied in their hair. From what I gather so far they go somewhere to have it done? Does anyone know about that? I'm a seamstress so might be able to figure THAT out ;-).

For me it's a no, just because kids grow up so fast with out starting grownup activities like shaving, dying, perfume wearing, and makeup. Why give them another way to make them grow up faster?
Don't get me wrong, the pretend makeup and shaving kits are cute and fun, but the real thing I'm not a fan of.
But it is a fun adult mommy daughter thing to do, but I think if I ever have a daughter I'll just do mani/pedi time.
oh I also started dying my hair at 12 and wish I wouldn't have. My natural hair was GORGEOUS chestnut brown that looked black in the inside light. Now my hair is multi colored and no actual color. I dye it black now, but in sunlight there is 3-5 different colors.

This post struck quite a nerve, and I had to really think about how to respond as I don't want to come across as a total B. Please don't let your daughter think that being pretty, fashionable, and popular is what is important in life. 7 year olds still have some baby teeth for goodness sake! You are already teaching your daughter that she has to enhance herself to be liked. What is wrong with innocence and belonging because you are a fun, good person? If you're willing to do that, what will she have a 12? a nose piercing? This is a great example of putting way too much emphasis on looks! Its so sad that you didn't think she was already beautiful enough just the way she is. Instead, you should be teaching her confidence in loving herself, her hair color, her eye color, and her body.

I think it's perfectly fine to add a little here and there as long as it isn't drastic.

For my children I would not just for the fact that it really damages their hair. I know how dry and broke my hair is from dying too much and im 19 so thats the way, I feel. but its your kids.

Updated

For my children I would not just for the fact that it really damages their hair. I know how dry and broke my hair is from dying too much and im 19 so thats the way, I feel. but its your kids.

My personal opinion is that small children don't really know what they want, so if they beg to have their hair colored, they may not really want it colored or fully understand the coloring process (that is permanent until it grows out). Also I would probably be concerned exposing them to chemicals at a young age. However, I think something like highlights, is not really the same as a full dye job. Of course it may be something she wants and likes and highlights tend to fade out in a more natural way than a full color treatment. I think treating your 7 year old to a "spa" day with mommy every once in a while (whether you do it at home or go to a salon) is a great idea.

For older kids (pre teen) I don't see anything wrong with letting them color their hair. Of course you want to set some guidelines and supervise it. but if you restrict it and it's something they really want to do, they are going to do it anyway!

My mom was of the mindset "it's your head, do what you want you're the one that has to live with it and wear it out". The most I did as a pre teen was get a perm, which I ended up hating! I didn't color my hair until much later, but I cut it in all different crazy ways as a teen. (It grows back!)

Just MHO!

I think it is the a mothers preference, I never dyed my hair until high school but then I am not much of a hair person, I get my highlights done like twice a year.

No I don't think it's wrong exactly. Although I think the child needs to be old enough to have a say (not infants or toddlers). That being said, I think that the process is pretty damaging to hair, so my daughter would have to convince me. Her hair is damaged enough from pool chlorine already! And the cost is too much if you go to a salon. I wouldn't be able to do it myself, since I have no experience. My mom does, though, so if she wanted it and wanted to maintain it, my mom would do it.
Right now she wants a second ear piercing, but it will have to wait until summer (we are so busy and i am afraid she wouldn't take care of them properly).

I dont see the big deal at all. Like you said people perm there childrens hair and thats more damaging then highlights. My mom used to let me dye my hair all the time but i think i was 11 or so but still no big deal. If she likes them then i dont see what the harm is.

10...12 is about the age i'll let my dd "lightly" dye her hair all the time, i can see the no bashing since earings are just as permament.....good point (and mine has her ears pierced)

i dye mine all the time so i'm sure she'll follow suit

You know, I think the only question that you have to answer is "is this for you or her"?

It all depends on the age of the child and the extent that it's done. A few highlights here and there are fine on a tween +. I just don't like seeing kindergarteners running around looking like Marilyn Manson.

I don't think it's that big of a deal... I personally don't think I will allowing my DD to dye her hair (assuming she wants to) when she's a young child... BUT who knows what will change between now and then? I figure that it's a choice between that child and her parents... It's not 'sexing' them up to let them pick their hair color any more than letting them pick the color of their shirt. (How scandalous do you think it was when girls started cutting their hair short?) What bothers me more is seeing these small girls in mini-skirts and other skimpy clothes! Now THAT sends across inappropriate body-image messages, IMO...

Generally, in our family, we dye to cover up gray.
So no one who is under 35 thinks about it much.
I wouldn't dye a childs hair (my son would be totally against it).
I don't like what the chemicals did to my hair and I wouldn't want a child exposed to that or smelling like ammonia.
But I've been henna-ing my hair for over 10 yrs. And some people will henna theirs kids hair to help get rid of lice. I use vinegar to make up my mix and my skin (and hair) love it. If my son had a problem with lice, I would consider using henna on him.

Funny - I had the same thought earlier when I read the post. My oldest daughter's hair has turned really mousy brown so I've been wondering when I'll let her highlight it... She's almost 6.5 and I have to say I can't imagine highlighting it in 6 months. I know it would look really good but part of me feels like doing that could then cause other kids to want to do it and why start that competition so early? They have enough to worry about, enough social pressures that we never had that I don't want to add to it. I know to tell your daughters they're beautiful on the inside and that's all that matters but to be honest, appearances do matter and I'll help my daughters later if they need it. ie: nose job when they're say 16 or 17 if they really need it? Sure. (no boob jobs though) But I will hold out as long as I can on bc otherwise I'd be supporting the emphasis on looks and I should do my best to counter that as a mom I think. I started using Sun In when I was in HS I think. These days, I assume that stuff starts in junior high so if lots of other girls do it then, I'll let her then. But I don't want to be on the forefront of this stuff. In terms of piercings and haircuts - kind of the same idea. No earings yet bc it's not our culture and I've cut her hair myself every time but once. We can afford fancy haircuts for her but I've refrained bc I don't get the sense the other kids care so why start making her care?... I don't want to emphasize that stuff until it's unavoidable. So it's not just coloring. And coloring is way more work and money than a nicer haircut versus at an home job or one for $10 less at a lousy place. You can do highlights yourself I know and that would encourage me to make it a fun at home project I have to say. But the other reasons would stop me.

Here's a opinion I don't expect to see too often:

I have BOYS and I let the oldest get highlights.

He asked several times over the course of a year, so last spring (age 9) I said "Yes". I warned him how it would work. I said if you feel comfortable going to the salon and have your hair painted and wrapped in tinfoil and having other people watch you, then that's fine by me.

He loved his hair. Could barely restrain the grin as we left the salon. He woke with a start the next morning and scrambled to the mirror and heaved a big sigh of relief that the highlights were still there. He dreamed they had washed out. His classmates thought he was The Coolest. They pestered their parents for highlights. And before I get any hate about letting my son do "girlish" stuff -- Plenty of boys at school already HAD highlights. Our boys can be interested in how they look too. He has gotten highlights once since then and now seems to be over it.

How is an occasional not chemically dangerous procedure any different from ear piercing or nail polish or contacts or mohawks or expensive clothes? Lots of things that children do COULD reinforce the idea that they are not good enough the way they are. But these are all surface things.As long as they are getting positive CONCRETE messages directly from their parents, loud and clear, "I love you. I imagined you would be just who you are when I carried you." then this small stuff won't matter.

IMO.. yes, it's wrong.

Personally I think it is silly and a waste of time and effort. I'd rather take my daughter to the library and pick out new books.

I don't understand why people are taking this to the EXTREME. Hair dying does not lead to pregnancy or drug use. As a parent, it is our duty to instill self-confidence as well as morals in our children. Allowing your child to dye their hair shouldn't alter their perception... if so, you're NOT doing your job. I am not saying to 'damage' your child's hair by immense chemical processes but do think that adding something fun (temporary) is playful. Dousing your child in eye liner, mini-skirts bikinis and heels I would say would be more damaging. I can't tell you how long it took me to find a ONE-PIECE bathing suit for my 3 year old, insane. But I'll tell you what, she looked ADORABLE in her one-piece little mermaid bathing suit with the pink streak in her hair :)