It's report card time up in my neck of the woods and right on cue, my Facebook feed is full of parents who are posting photos of their kids' report cards or are sharing that they got "all A's" or whatever. While some parents cover their kids' names, some don't. Curious to know if you do this and why or why not? And do you have feelings about sharing your kids' other accomplishments (sports, music, student of the month, etc.)?
I definitely don't do report cards. While a couple of my kids have done well with grades most of the time, two of mine have struggled a lot and I wouldn't post one set of great grades because it would indicate something negative about the other kids whose grades I wouldn't post. For sports, music, etc. I do share some milestones from time to time but it's not all bragging all the time. For me, I think the difference is that these other activities are optional while school isn't so sharing how my kid did on something that not every other kid did well in - and where some kids really struggle - doesn't sit well with me. Also, it's their accomplishment, not mine. And finally, we wouldn't post our performance reviews from work so why would we make our kids' version of the performance review public? While being proud of my kids when their hard work pays off is great, their right to privacy is greater.
What do you think?
Thanks for sharing your thoughts! Glad to know that this isn't widespread and that most parents use discretion and restraint when posting about their kids. To add to this though...I saw three parents yesterday sharing the results of their parent-teacher conferences! As is "so-and-so's teachers all said how much they enjoy having him in class and how much he adds to the discussion and is eager to learn" blah blah blah. These were high school and middle school parents!
I don't post their actual report cards, but I will give a shout out for a job well done on a report card, just as I will post if they made the team, got a role in the musical, had a solo in band or choir or received an award.
no. I don't post their grades - if they are good grades? I might comment that I'm proud of their accomplishments - but otherwise? no.
Really. That is crazy and in very poor taste. I have never seen anyone post a report card or brag about their kids' grades.
Goodness, no, I wouldn't post a report card.
To me, that seems quite different from posting "elementary band concert was fun" or "congrats to team XXX on the tournament win today".
No.
Our son usually does quite well in the grades department but no way would I post his report card online.
This is one reason I'm not on Facebook. No. I would never. And good analogy with our performance reviews at work. Goes for bonuses and raises too. Posting kids' grades is just as obnoxious. And really no one else's business.
I don't do facebook. Tyler and two of my boys do.
Posting report cards is, well, stupid. Sorry. It's bragging. Why not just say "I'm so proud of Johnny! He did his job and got great grades!"?
Tyler has posted sporting events we've attended and other milestones, but not report cards.
I never did, because I thought it put enormous pressure on kids, especially this who struggle with special needs, have a very demanding teacher, or are in AP classes. I also felt a little as if my bragging implied that I shared some of the credit for the kid doing well, as if I either out-nagged the other parents or did some of the projects myself.
I think it's different if occasionally a parent says they are proud of their Eagle Scout or their kid's new black belt, if the child wins a prize in the art show or sets a new record in the 400 meters, and of course when the child chooses which college to go to or gets a job.
I agree with you and the reasons you and 4 little ones give. The report card is for the parents. The effort/work put into achieving belong to the child. If I posted personal info on Facebook, I'd probably say I am proud of my children and the way they worked to learn. This would include all the children, no matter their grades.
Actually, I see grades as a sign of progress and a way to know if my child needs help. I would post my pride because my adult daughter told me she wishes that I said, "I'm proud of you" more often.
It's not something I would do. I know some proud parent might, but I don't know... it just doesn't seem in good taste to me.
Then again, I post silly stuff about Kiddo. Usually funny things, like him wearing my blue exercise mat rolled up on his head and declaring he's Marge from the Simpsons. I guess life, for me, is less about the lessons and more about the fun?
I absolutely would not post a report card online. I think it sends a wrong message to the kids. It demonstrates sharing too much personal info online. And it's so stupid to share a report card and cover the kids' names. A Facebook friend who's a friend in real life knows your kids' names, and a Facebook "friend" whom you don't know personally doesn't need to know what your kids did in school. If you want to tell Grandma or Uncle Joe that your kid got all A's, do it in person.
The exception would be, when there's a significant triumph involved, like a kid who returned to school after a severe injury or illness, and who had lots of support from Facebook friends and family.
Well, my take is:
If you post your kids report cards you can not get upset if your kid will post your income statements or anything else quite personal.
In a couple of years you will regret having posted all this stuff. People have access even you think it was family or friends circle only. All this data is collected from your child that becomes eventally an adult.
It is just inappropriate and ridiculous really.
No I don't share report cards. Interesting that I don't see any parents doing this. My 7th grade son is doing great with his grades. But it seems like weird bragging to share that...and really who cares. It's just how he happens to be doing at the moment at school...these things easliy change. Our struggle is I'm always trying to work with him to be a better person. He is still lacking in thinking of others first, taking initiative, helping others or helping without being asked...all selfishness kinds of things. This is more important to me than grades. The kinds of things I tend to share are little snapshots to show the grandparents/relatives what the kids are up to in life or what they are into...you know, trying to show their personality/interests to loved ones who live far away. I'm lucky that all the grandparents/aunts/uncles use facebook so it's a nice way for everyone to keep in touch.
I don't share photos of my kids cards. However, I have congratulated them on Summa Cum Laude or other award they receive. I shared when my daughter got into sectionals with cross country and last week when she made MVP for the season. I have shared my daughters' artwork and a ribbon one of them received.
i don't post things like that to fb, i will chat with my mommie friends and we will share generals about the report, (our kids are inthe same class) but rarely do we show exacts. and we don't tell the kids what the others got.
I did once give my dd a pat on the back on Facebook for getting straight A's... She worked really hard and goes to a tough school..but I probably won't do it again.
I do find it tiring to hear parents who continually brag, but I understand they are proud and want to share with others. But, sometimes it can be interpreted as "my kid is better than yours". And there are a lot of factors determining how grades are calculated...it's not always possible for students to get all good grades even if they are motivated.
Nowadays, I pretty much use social media to share pictures with family. My mom hardly ever gets to see pictures of my dd unless I put them online.
I have never (and never would) post a photo of an actual report card (or anything else with such personal information), but I have posted about accomplishments. As lilym points out, who sees your posts can change what is going on. I don't have 93000 "friends". I'm not under 30 where I have party friends, and acquaintances I met in a club seeing my page/posts. Most of the people who would see my posts are actually family, and they don't live locally near me/us. The rest are mostly friends I've known for 25 years, or a few from church (though they probably don't see all of my posts, b/c I have categorized who is family and who are "acquaintances", etc).
So, yes, I share that my daughter made SuperIntendent's list. Yes, I share that she won a cash prize drawing at the Honors Awards Breakfast. Yes, I share video of her piano recital performance. Yes, I share the kids with trophies from their karate tournament. Yes, I share son's science project--it was awesome!
Most of our family lives too far away to ever consider attending any of the actual events or ceremonies, since most take place on school/work nights, and family is 5 hours away.
But, I don't share personal information. I don't even use their names most of the time. I don't want someone else to be able to "search" for them by name.
All of that said, I can see how some of the younger moms who post things could be seen as tiresome braggadocio. They are posting for 75,XXX people to see. Maybe including folks they've participated in lots of drama with in the last 24 months.
Is it bragging? I guess that depends on the perception of the person reading/seeing it. My parents certainly don't think so. The kids' aunts/uncles don't think so. My college bestie doesn't think so. Do I really care what anybody else thinks? Meh... not really. And there aren't many others likely to see anyway.
*shrug*
I think there is only one person on my Facebook that I recall doing this (I'm sure there are more, but one person who always does this). She has an only child who seems to excel at many things and the mom is super proud. Her child is much older than my kids, so I do not get the feeling she is trying to say 'my kid is better than yours' at least for me.
Most post milestones or events (soccer, football, piano, plays etc.).
No. If we post about our son, it is something he has said which made us laugh:
The time I came into the kitchen and the floor was wet. When I asked DS what had happened, he replied:
Well, Mom, I guess my water broke.
Only my mom would get a copy. Grandma is fine!
As for FB, I think it's pathetic to broadcast your child's report card. It's not about your kid's hard work - it's about your insecurity. At the most, a post saying that you are proud of great grades is more than enough!
I definitely would never post the report card, or make mention of the actual grades. To me, that is something for the kids to share possibly with grandparents.
I like your comparison that we don't post our work evaluations, which just like a grade card, is meant to show our strengths but also point out areas we need to improve.
I am much more comfortable posting that Johnny and Janie worked hard, did his/her best, and how proud we are of the efforts shown this grading period. But no mention of the actual grades. Just my opinion.
No never have. And I only have maybe 1 friend who even comments - just says Did well on report card.
I don't have kids old enough to get reports cards, but when they start getting report cards, I would not post them. I'm surprised that people do this.
it wasn't an option when i had kids in school, but i don't think i would. i might do a braggy happy 'yay! my kid's on the honor roll!' which i know makes some folks nut up, but not me. i'm happy to read about my friends' kids accomplishments unless that's all they post about.
but to actually snapshot the report card or list the grades?
no, i think that's a bit invasive. especially for middle and high school aged kids.
khairete
S.
I've never seen that before. Wow. And I thought that the Christmas cards full of "my kids are perfect" were a lot.
What you're talking about sounds a lot like what I see with new moms who post hundreds of pictures of their baby on facebook, almost to the point of ad nauseum. A lot of these new moms don't seem to understand that it's overkill to the point of ridiculousness.
I wonder if the people you're talking about are like these moms I'm talking about, not understanding how they come across? Did it ever occur to them that it might make other people feel badly that their child's report card isn't as good? Did it ever occur to them that they look like they're taking the credit for their child's success?
If someone was honest with them about how they look doing it, would they stop in deference to others' feelings? I guess it's really their attitude that's most important...
Yes and no. No, I don't use Facebook or other social media, and if I did, I certainly would not gloat or whine about my child's report card because I believe it's part of her privacy. Yes, I will email it to family members to show them they either should be proud of the kiddo, or that she is weak in a certain area and we all should work with her/talk to her about it and improve.
Devils advocate--- my Facebook friends are my actual friends and family in real life...not 10000 people that decided to "friend" me. So while I don't..I could see some people posting to share what they would share in person if a fast format so grandma and aunt sue could see.
Obviously if a kid is struggling that makes it different...most people don't post their failures. If my kid passes his driving test and yours doesn't, does that mean I can't post??
I guess the thing with Facebook is you can choose to un friend people if you need to and you can choose what you post.
The safety issue of strangers seeing my kids name grade and school worries me far far more
If the report card is good I do share it. Yes, I have their names on them right in front of everyone. I know everyone. They're sharing their kiddos too. It's not like I'm posting them public and letting every stranger that might see it and know where the kids go to school.
