My son is almost 1 and I think I just experienced a true temper tantrum. He has thrown some smaller fits the past week or so, but I attributed that to teething, and gave him some Motrin. But tonight, I think it was NOT teething pain. It's as if he wants to communicate and gets frustrated and then it escalates. He acts like he wants me to pick him up, but then he tries to hit me, pull my hair, or he'll arch his back. But when I put him down, he balls up his fists, turns red, and does this half cry/half screeching thing. I honestly can't figure out what he wants and I surely don't know what to do either. He is sweet almost all the time, but lately I am seeing a different side of him. Is this typical of this age? I guess I was expecting the terrible two's! What do you moms do when tantrums are going on? Thanks :)
Yes, they throw tantrums at 1. I would tell them that is not the way to act and to stop it. If we did a time out it was 1 minute for every year of their age and usually I made them sit in a chair or on a stool. I never put them in their rooms or crib because I did not want them to associated thier rooms or cribs as a place of punishment.
This is a phase and will pass...trust me.
It may help for you to read up on the developmental stages of babies and children. I love Louise Ames Bates - she has a series of books about each year. Google "Your One Year Old" and browse through the table of contents and the pages you can read on Amazon. Also check out Baby Center's baby development charts.
Best wishes!
Your very difficult job as a parent is to adapt all the time to the ever changing needs of your child.
Now that he is entering the world of toddlers, you have to do your absolute best to communicate with him and find some ways for him to communicate with you.
All the things you describe are only due to frustration.
Learn and teach him (or make up your own) sign language (just a few signs can make a big difference), use always the same words to describe actions, things and activities that are part of his world. Watch him a lot. Teach him how to respond to your simple questions. Know and keep in mind what he likes and dislikes. Also be very imaginative and redirect his attention before his frustration takes the better of him. Let him know by your attitude what is acceptable and what is not. Try not to use the word "no" all the time, unless it is really necessary, or use it diluted in a sentence.
Also, what I would consider the most important point : show him that you care. When he is frustrated, when he cries, don't let him calm down on his own. Teach him how to say "oh no!" with the face and gestures that go with it, so that his frustration will go into this expression rather than building up inside. And then help him find a solution to his problem.
I have two strong willed daughters and I can honestly say that I have NEVER experienced a tantrum from them.
Good luck!
The main resource that was HUGE in reclaiming peace in our home at this age was "Happiest Toddler on the Block" by Dr. Harvey Karp. I started the book, but honestly the DVD was great. I did not understand the book but TOTALLY understood the demonstrations on the DVD. I think you can get it on Amazon or even through like Blockbuster Online (where the movies come to you in the mail). This strategy has been SO effective and so beneficial to the communication we have established with our children. I HIGHLY recommend this DVD. I also use Love and Logic a lot, but with his particular age the main thing was Dr. Karps material.
I taught my son sign language which doesn't stop the tantrums but it does prevent many from happening because they are able to communicate effectively.
That is extremely typical. It's time to start time outs. If he hits you, nip it in the bud now. They hit, bite, kick Mom first because they trust that no matter what, you will love them. So we he does it, tell him no and put him in his crib for 2 minutes (set a timer they can hear go off). Don't do it out of anger, just be consistent. When you go get him, tell him you love him and to try again to tell you what he wants. It's a process, but eventually they get it.
GL!
