I need some intake on what I should do?? Please no bashing, as I have been working and paying taxes for 15 years. It wasnt until my second daughter was born in 2011 that I finally left an abusive relationship and decided to start college instead of returning work.
I am a single mom, with 2 girls. One is in daycare so I can work and the other just started Kindergarten this year. I do not get child support or any time of familial support.
In April 2012 I was finally able to get into public housing (4 year wait list), where they base rent off your income. I started college in June 2012. I have been doing work study 30 hours a week (which means I get paid through a federal grant and that money is not counted as income, even tho I get paid still) and my second job 12 hours a week. On a technicality I did not pay rent when I first moved in. Now I work full time, not at the college and I make $10/hour. The landlord charges 30% and the state pays most of my daycare and helps us with food stamps. We are just barely able to make ends meet, but at least the main things are taken care of. And if I get a flat tire or my kids need shoes, I can save up and buy them.
I have a potential job opening for one that pays $12-$16/hour. But if I make anywhere above between $12-$16/hour, my rent goes up to around 500 -730/month and either way the state will not help with any daycare or food assistance. Based on my calculations of rent, electric, gas, car insurance daycare and food costs, I will be left with around $90 a week. That needs to cover gas to and from work, diapers, clothes, laundry soap, toilet paper, etc, or whatever my girls need. Which is no where near enough to support my girls; and my main goal is to independently support my girls without state assistance and with as little debt as possible and, of course, without the help of the father.
Do I stay with what I am doing until I get out of school and have the state help with daycare and food costs?? I have several years in business administration and that is my major also. I will ultimately graduate in the 2014-2015 school year and by then both of my girls will be in school and that will save $600/month. Then I can get into my career and will not need state assistance.
Or do I go for the higher paying job and pray that it will be enough even though I know its not, and not get any state assistance right now? I would run the risk of putting myself in massive debt with student loans simply to survive just until I graduate (which will be in late 2014 or early 2015). If I cant find a job paying what I need after graduation, I would most likely end up back on state assistance.
If I choose to go with the job offer (if I get it, can I ask that they simply pay me less?) I would love the job because it is something I have 6 years experience in and what i am doing now is brainless work and boring.
Any advice would be appreciated. I have no clue what to do Thank you!
The father was in a car accident when my daughter was born. He owes $10,000 is child support. As of the last court hearing, his financial obligation is $0 per month, indefinitely. because he is now on disability. Lucky for us, the girls don't get to have claim to anything from disability (state law). His parenting time is reserved, but he never calls or wants to see the girls. So it truly is just me supporting 2 kids and that will not change. I also don't feel like I should have to go out and 'find a man' to be able to support my family.
I say pass the job up. Imo I think you'd be too stressed to finish school if you do get the job. You need to finish school to get a career there's no way around it you have a year left to finish school so focus on that.
My two cents is to stay on welfare and use it as you are: as the helping hand it is intended to be. Get the degree - focus on that.
G-d bless you!
Personally? You are the reason state assistance was created - you left an abusive relationship and couldn't take care of yourself. So you did the right thing - and instead of staying on it long term and making it a career! :)
Finish your education. You can always say "I can go back" but life catches up with you - and it gets busy - so stay in school and focus on your studies, graduate with honors and get that dream job. YOU CAN DO THIS...
You aren't abusing the system. You are learning and working to get OFF of the system. Do so for just a while longer, and get off state assistance when you can make it without. You are on a plan to support yourself, don't shoot that plan in the foot, by trying to survive on something you can't. I am HAPPY when people in situations like yours are on assistance. I see way too many losers who don't try, getting assistance. That's not you. You are the kind of situation, the system is set up for.
Bless your heart. I am John Q. Public paying your way. I am what some would call a hard hearted Republican. This is the way support was supposed to be used. I can't think of a better way to use this kind of assistance.
Sorry, but you need to do what's best for your family right now, that means staying at the job you are in right now and getting your degree.
I'd much rather you get support now, than piece meal, only after you are destitute. it doesn't make sense that way.
The other piece of the puzzle is child support. Are you afraid to let him in the picture so you wont have to expose your kids to him? I hate to say, I understand. If you can stay afloat and take care of the littles, he would not have a leg to stand on. But legal advice, while you are on assistance, would be free or affordable. Get it while you can.
Keep doing what you're doing. And your case is a perfect example of what's wrong with the structure of public assistance. IMO, assistance should basically come up with an amount of money needed each month to cover your family size and cost of living, factoring educational needs, childcare, etc. Whatever you make should go towards that amount with the balance being covered by assistance. Then someone like you could take a better job at a higher wage and could have a small offset in benefits (say your minimum was set at $3K a month and you made $1K of that and got $2K in benefits, if your job started paying $1500 a month, your benefits would drop back to $1500) without falling off of a financial cliff.
When I worked in the service industry, I worked with a lot of talented, bright people with potential who wouldn't take promotions because making an extra $200 a month would have cost them $1000 in lost benefits that they needed to make ends meet. Ridiculous, right?
Anyway...sorry for the rant. Given what you outlined, I would keep doing what you're doing.
Finish school-then make your move. All the best!
If what you are doing now isn't broke, don't try to fix it. There could be other factors that come into play with something new that you might not even be thinking of. Can totally appreciate where you are coming from but you need to keep yourself focused on the end prize. Life throws curveballs but stay on track! Your girls are so lucky to have you!
I think you should stick with what you know is working until you graduate. Keep doing what you're doing, graduate at the top of your class, and then apply for a that higher income job. I think it's also a great thing that by that time your kids will be in school (but remember, you might need to pay the cost of after-school care).
Keep doing what your doing. It's more money but not NEARLY enough.
Keep doing what you are doing for now. She are a wonderful role model for your girls. You are working hard to get off the system. God bless you. Finish school and begin your career! Until then if it ain't broke don't fix it.
I am just going to ditto Wild Woman.
You are doing great.
Many many blessings
I'm going to share a couple of stories with you, then give you my advice.
We live in different states, but about 3 years ago, my local newspaper published an article on the welfare and housing situation in our county. It said that the county had a waiting list of over 8,000 people seeking housing help. The list was closed at that point. There was a waiting list to get on that list. It was closed. Our local DHS predicted that it would take 10 years before it would be able to help all those on the lists. To me that reads, we will never be able to do it. There are too many people in need.
In 2010 or 2011 a co-worker came to me crying and told me her life story, not sure why she picked me, but here is the gist: In an abusive relationship, finally left the man, wound up in a shelter. She was put at top of the list, since she was homeless, got housing, paid 17 dollars a month in rent. Then she got hired at my establishment. Her rent went up to 700 dollars a month, food stamp amount dropped. She couldn't afford it and lost her place to stay. She was evicted and had no idea what she was going to do.
I'm not sure what happened to her b/c she was let go and we didn't keep in touch. Also she had been on the list for housing for awhile. Oh and she had two little ones.
Okay, my advice: Keep the public assistance, don't risk your housing etc. Stay in school and get your degree. When you secure a job where you can afford to support yourself and children; notify social services and they will make adjustments as they see fit. Don't rush it.
This is what all these programs were put in place for: People who have fallen on hard times and are trying, but need a little help. Nothing to be ashamed about. It seems to me that you are NOT at the point yet where you don't need help, so keep the assistance.
Good luck mama!
Here's my honest thought. I am all for college. I don't think you should be working outside of full time classes. Not even work study if you can do without it. Have a life and go to school. Working and school is so hard and time consuming.
College should be your first priority. Making good grades and networking should be your main goal. These are the things that will help you down the road.
If you want to drop out of college, lose your low income housing, lose all assistance even child care assistance then drop out and go to work. You obviously can earn enough money to live comfortable without college. This job offer is enough to live on if you watch your budget.
If you need this degree and can make a lot more money with it then why risk not being at the top of your class so when head hunters come to the school they won't even give you a second glance.
You know if you're grades are not the best you won't have any job offers for better money.
SO that's why I'd say cut back on working and get as much financial aid as you can, get your rent as low as you can, put all the financial aid you don't spend for tuition, fees, and books into an account or an envelope in your sock drawer and save it...
The kids should have state medical cards, you should have the option for the college health clinic, etc....you should have food stamps so you won't need to spend hundreds out of pocket for that and with the rest of your financial aid money you can get the kids the things they need and some of the things they want.
BUT if you want to work and go to school it's of course up to you. I found I did much better on my papers and study time when I didn't have to work during college. I did it both ways.
When I was at OKCCC I didn't work at all. I got welfare, low income housing, food stamps, child care assistance, plus financial aid. I didn't want for anything nor did my child. My rent was around $6 per month based on the monthly welfare check I got for $242. I got around $200 in food stamps, more than enough to feed us back then.
When I graduated with my associates degree I was offered a scholarship to OU. I got full financial aid, paid tuition, etc...I got ALL my financial aid in hand, no money taken out for tuition, fees, or books, seriously, it was a great scholarship. I hated my classes though. I even did an stint at work study. It really effected my study time.
Then I transferred to another college and moved into the married student housing. I was able to transfer my low income housing to a campus apartment, I still got a monthly welfare check, food stamps, etc....I had no worries, life was good, I made excellent grades and got to spend time with kiddo's.
So my advice to you is to cut back on work as much as possible or drop out of school and go to work full time. Your grades won't be your best and you'll be exhausted from burning too many candles and not budgeting your time the best way possible.
Finish school. Don't take the job. My mom is on disability. She used to get her social security which was about $600 and disability disability $197 and food stamps $233 For a total amount of about $1030. That's what she lived on. They upped her disability by like $12 which pushed her over the eligible amount and dropped her food stamps more than a hundred dollars. She struggles just to make it each month.
You are to be applauded!! I like my tax dollars to help people like you who are making a better life for themselves and their family.
I would not mess with the assistance, you need it. I would however explain the situation to your potential employer. They may be able and willing to work with you so you don't loose your assistance but you get a better job. Best of luck!!!
Everyone has said what I wanted to say. But I will say it again, keep the job! As a former DV advocate you are what I hoped and dreamed for. It was always a beautiful thing when a woman empowers herself by living for herself and her children. Independence is the thing that keeps you strong. Make good choices! And this asking for help like your doing now is good. You're weighing what you do which is smart. Stay strong stay smart. Get a good support system, financially (through savings) and emotionally (through friends). Friends you can trust are good. Good Luck!
This is whats wrong with public assistance. People like you that really need it and is doing the right thing to get off it. It is so irritating that you would get a better job, make a couple extra dollars an hour only to take a major hit on assistance.
I am a strong conservative and every single conservative like me hate how the system is run. People like you should get the help they need while proving they are working at getting off.
I vote to apply for the job. If you get it, ask for a pay decrease. If you don't get the offer, keep things the same.
Best wishes
I think you should get off assistance as soon as possible, even if that means postponing school until you can support yourself and your children.
Well first of all, I congratulate you for getting out of an abusive relationship. You have made the right choice to protect yourself, love yourself and your children. I also congratulate you for going back to school. I think your education sometimes gets pushed aside. I know mine did and I am making up for it now at 33 years old. Reading your story, I would say, stay on public assistance. It's working for you right now and allowing you to stay and in school and have time with your children and even work a little. You get a better paying job, it might take more time from your kids. You may make a little more but then you may struggle covering your regular household bills due to the cutbacks. I say focus and keep doing what your doing and when you finish school, then you can look for that better paying job and get off the assistance. Good luck to you sweetie!!!
In this situation, I advice you to stay but stick to the plan of getting off when you get a better job with your degree.
It may seem empowering to get off assistance and take the better paying job but in this case, it is unrealistic. I would hate to see you down a slippery slope of you quitting college because now you have to work more hours to make ends meet.
IMO, the system is intended for needs like yours. Pursuing a degree and aiming for something better can only ensure that you will leave it in due time. Leaving it prematurely can put you in dire straits. You said so yourself, you will be left with $90. Is that before taxes? Not that it matters. It is just unrealistic.
I wish you all the best in your endeavors.
You know, I fully thought that I would read your question and then tell you to get off state assistance ASAP. But I dont think that would be a fair answer to you. Dont lose your assistance over a job that pays 12-16 an hour. You will never be able to survive in the long run on that type of pay. $12 per hour is only 25k per year, and I just dont see how someone could raise a family on that. Its higher pay than what you have now, but I certainly would not consider it a "high paying job". And without the education, you will have capped out and it will be hard to ever make significantly more than what you make now. Finish school. Set that example of hard work & importance of eduction for your girls so that hopefully they dont ever have to ask themselves this question. And good luck!
