Discipline Books Recommendations? Setting Limits, 123 Magic...others?

I found no help with books...but how I got my daughter to listen is not by just saying no, but by removing her from whatever she was doing wrong. If she was hitting I would grab her hand/arm and say stop! I do the 1, 2, 3 thing, but read in the books it's better to do 3, 2, 1 because there's nowhere to go after 1...I've only had to count to 3 twice, but it said in there that a lot of mothers will count to numbers as high as 30 before disciplining their children. After those 2 times she knew I meant business!!! She's 9 and it still works.
Another thing that helps them understand is explaining why they need to stop or cannot do/touch something...

Good Luck!

ps. it's also a good idea to write things down and make sure your husband is on the same page as you.

The one and only book I ever used, and which I HIGHLY recommend is The Discipline Book by Dr. William Sears. Dr. Sears is a highly respected pediatrician and father of 8 children, one of his adult sons is also a pediatrician in practice with him. His wife, Martha Sears, is a nurse lactation consultant. They practiced and advocate attachment parenting and have written extensively on it (The Birth Book, The Baby Book). The book clearly states when, where, how and why parents must be the ones who instill discipline (teaching) consistantly and constantly. I must say that putting it in practice with my son paid off ... he is a very kind, loving and humane 12-year old now, with excellent manners. I have always, always been able to take him ANYWHERE ... restaurants, to visit friends, in church, concerts, the theatre. People comment on his good behavior. Children like him because he is nice and kind, adults like him because he is in control of himself. Piece of advice from this 44-year old mother: Do not be afraid to be the adult ... children want and crave boundaries that they can depend on (they do not want or crave angry parents who aren't consistant with their discipline and who snap when they can't take it any more), and boundaries that grow as they grow. It is hard work, but it is the BEST thing you can give your child. Get the book. Definitely worth the read.

When I took my son to kindergarten screening when he was almost 4 the teacher who tested him recommended "Kid Cooperation" by Elizabeth Pantley. Bloomington ECFE even teaches a class based on this book, which I've heard is great. I have found the book to be very helpful for my strong-willed child. You can google the title and find out more. Good luck.

V.,
Here are the names of books I've used over the years. My kids are 14, 8 and 5 and I have found the basics in these books to stand the test of time.

Kids are Worth It
by Barbara Coloroso (my all time favorite)

Backtalk: 4 Steps to Ending Rude Behavior in Your Kids
by Audrey Ricker

Parenting with Love and Logic
by Jim Fey

The Wonder of Boys
by Michael Gurian

The Family Virtues Guide: Simple Ways to Bring Out the Best in Our Children and Ourselves
by Linda Popov - this one is more spiritual but is not religious

I have found more importantly, is that you and your husband sit down and really decide what is going to define your famly and then make parenting choices that reflect that vision. An example of that would be, my husband and I have chosen the virtues of love, peace, joy and balance to define our family. We make choices that bring our family closer to those values and choose to not participate in behavior that pull us away from them. This has been reflected in the way in which we raise our kids. A great book to help you determine your family mission is Stephen Covey's 7 Habit for Highly Effective Families. I highly recommend it.

Hope that helps!
T.

I was a teacher for many years and really like the book How to Talk so Kids Can Listen and Listen so Kids Will Talk. It has a variety of approaches in it and stresses involving children in decissions and teaching children good morals and values so they can make good decissions. I used the techniques in my classroom for years and really felt they worked.
Best of luck.
M.