1) When: kids are tired or over-tired or hungry... they act like this more, because they have nil, patience at these times.
2) I personally, did NOT run my errands, when it was:
nap time or,
my kids were tired or over-tired, or
when my kids were hungry.
3) AND I always gave them a snack, BEFORE heading out for errands.
4) When little kids are tired, they are more prone, to being like that.
They need to nap and get enough sleep.
And eat... snacks aside from... their regular meals.
5) When hitting growth-spurts or hitting milestones or on the cusp of a new age change... kids also get like this.
Because, it is 'growing-pains' cognitively and physically. Too.
6) KNOW the triggers for your child.
7) Know, that at this age.. kids do NOT have, fully developed emotions yet, either.
From 2 years old, I began teaching my kids, the 'names' for feelings, how to recognize feelings and how to SAY it. I didn't care if they were grumpy or happy... (because even ADULTS have grumpy or happy days), but the point was, that they learned, the names for feelings and how to say it, and that they could, and that they could tell me. Then we as a "TEAM"... I helped them, per "coping-skills."
Kids this age DO NOT HAVE, intrinsic nor automatic coping-skills. It is taught.
Even some adults don't have coping-skills and are unable to recognize their feelings. So... to expect a child to know it, is not appropriate. Because, you have to teach them it. It is "skills" that a child learns.
8) Just using "punishments" does not... teach a child coping-skills nor the ability to recognize their feelings or frustrations.
9) When my son was only 3 years old, he could tell me if he was "frustrated" or "irritated" or "grumpy." And he darn well KNEW the differences in his feelings. He'd tell me. AND if grumpy, he would tell me things like "I want to be alone... I'm going over there..." and then once feeling better he'd be right back in the groove of things. All fine.
Because, I taught him that. And most importantly, that he is ALLOWED to tell me that.... whether grumpy or happy. He is human. I don't 'scold' for feelings. Thus, a child attains... articulate ability to detect their own feelings... and how to manage/cope.
It is taught.
If only punishing... it does NOT teach a child... these skills.
10) In conjunction with punishments/discipline... you ALSO have to teach a child SKILLS.... and how to manage... or teach them ALTERNATE ways... of doing things. Because, there are MANY ways of doing things or managing things.
Sometimes, my KIDS come up with better ideas than me.
11) Kids this age, do not even have, fully developed "Impulse-control" yet either. It is not developed, until older. So know that.
12) Keep, your parental 'Expectations"... age appropriate. Otherwise, there will always be, frustration for you, and your child. Because, if expectations are not age-appropriate... there will never be, congruence of what she is doing and what you expect her to do.
all the best,
Susan