Discipline Advice for 6 Year Old

Updated on June 07, 2012
W.P. asks from New York, NY
4 answers

Yesterday my 6 1/2 year old broke his first serious safety rule. While my parents were watching him, he went around the block on his scooter with the kids from the neighborhood w/o asking permission. My son knows that he is not allowed to ride his scooter around the block w/o an adult present. He tried to tell me that he forgot the rule (which is what made me most upset). The other kids on the block that he plays with are all older 8+ years old and are allowed to play outside/cross the street/ride around the block w/o adult supervision. While my son is not, except the play outside rule. My husband and I had a serious talk with him about the situation, focusing on the safety issue and decided to not allow him to play basketball outside w/o an adult for the rest of the week and weekend as his punishment, a recent priviledge he was granted. I know this is going to present as an ongoing issue b/c he plays with these neighbors often and in my son's eyes it is not fair to him that he can't do everything that they are allowed to do. This far, my son, generally speaking, is a rule follower so I am having a very difficult time processing the situation and fearful of other safety related things he may try in the near future. I know it is inevidable that this will come up again and again. We belong to a beach/pool club and my son has a lot of freedom there. Now I am so worried about him breaking our rules there, around water.

I would love to hear how others would have handled the situation and what type of punishment, if any you would have given your child.

Thanks in advance for your thoughtful and wise comments.

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More Answers

J.B.

answers from Houston on

It is quite possible he 'forgot' the rule, in the heat of the moment. The other boys saddled up and yelled "let's ride.." and he followed the pack. That is understandable, IMO.
The punishment is fitting, I thing the length of time may be a little excessive. As far as going forward, get down on his level, look in his eyes and say "do you remember the rules..?" Have him repeat them to you (we do this) and if he violates them again, the punishment he gets is easier to deal out.
You handled it well. I know it's summer and you want them to have their freedom.

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H.M.

answers from Dallas on

I think the punishment that you gave him for this being his first time is ok. But let him know from here on out you expect him to remember. And maybe let the neighbor kids know this is what he can and can't do so they don't try to get him to do something he's not supposed to do. That's a lot of responsibility for a kid that age. I didn't let my kids outside without an adult at that age period.

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D.K.

answers from Pittsburgh on

I wouldn't punish him. You explained why you were upset - he understands why (that he could get hurt). Done.

T.S.

answers from San Francisco on

I understand being upset over this, it's scary when they take off like that!
I imagine he and his friends got caught up in their play and made a poor choice. They took a risk by doing something they knew they weren't supposed to do, and they probably found it kind of thrilling. This is common in kids, and especially boys, even "good" boys.
Honestly I wouldn't punish him for a first offense, but that's just me. I believe in giving kids at least a chance to understand why what they did was wrong and be VERY clear that if it ever happens again there will be consequences.
This method's worked pretty well for us over the years (I have three kids, 19, 16 and 13.)

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