Dinner Menu Struggles

I have my children help me make up menus for 2 weeks (my husband gets paid bi-weekly). Since I have 3 children, I let them each pick 2 days and they do the dinner.(they don't cook just pick what's for dinner). It can be as easy as Mac & Cheese or Ramen Noodles or as hard as Chicken and Biscuits. It gives me ideas on what they like or don't like. We have even done breakfast for dinner. Hope this helps. My children are ages 10, 11 and 13 but we have been doing this for at least 5 years if not longer. Everyone has to eat what the others had picked and it has worked for us. It also has gotten them to try new foods and less fighting at the table.

M.

Hi there! Yes, dinner time is a struggle for a lot of families! :) The only thing that seems to work for me is to create a meal with a few choices...and then stick to those choices. I also try to have a few that I know kids will eat, but then also new or different options as well. My doctor keeps telling me, they won't willingly starve themselves. Hang in there!

hello
i have two wounderful children boy 12 girl 8
my son who is severely (deathly) allergic to peanuts/tree nuts (from two weeks old) then to boot he is allergic to corn soy wheat egg white and milk i know what do i feed him he also has aspergers bipolar 1/2 ad/hd odd pts
my daughter is "normal" is there realy normal
i use to be the short order cook for my family until i started to be sneaky with the food
i started to eat my sons food with him so he would not feel left out at the dinner table you know his food was/is pretty good i tried to get my daughter to eat his food (yea right) she hates rice milk to this day i slowly changed things over for her now she likes the/his food without even knowing what/how it is made
i have read that children with m/h issue are picky eaters you just have to do trial and error it is hard for the first year it gets easier as time goes bye
i also had my son tested for other food allergies that is when i found out about the other food allergies his behavior has changed to the positive side (some)
i give you strength and power to get though your trials and triblations i have been there and done that we will continue to go though it we are very special moms with that said we need to stick together
if you care to talk to me personaly give a shout at ____@____.com or yahooim ck121013
prayers
V.

It may sound silly but Friday is Pizza day, Chicken is Mondays, etc. It sets their expectations and gets them into a routine that gives me less complaining. Chicken may be chicken nuggets, giant chicken nuggest(fried chicken or chicken patties) etc. The "giant" variations of a favorite helped me. Hot Dogs, ham and giant hot dogs(Kielbasa) are all on Tuesday, eggs on a different night and of course the favorite, breakfast night with waffles, oatmeal and different kind of pancakes. The good news is this should help with the asbergers but the bad news is if you run out or can't keep with the schedule you'll get a lot of flack. I got less requests and once you "break them into the routine" it took away a lot of grief.

Here are a few of the foods I can get my picky child to eat. Do your kids like Ramen Noodles (oodles of Noodles?) I know they aren't that healthy, but try mixing in frozen chopped broccoli (or another vegetable). It is the only way my kids will eat broccoli. They won't even look at it in other recipes, but they will eat it mixed in with these noodles, and I put a lot of broccoli in there. Also, we make "banana boats". Cut a banana in half and then half it lengthwise. Spread peanutbutter on it and then sprinkle it with rice krispies (or any cereal without extra sugar...crushed up raisin bran, granola, whatever you think they might like.) My kids eat mostly "kid food", but every night at dinner - no matter what else we are having, I also put raw baby carrots and light ranch dip on their plates along with a sliced apple and a lowfat yogurt or string cheese. They will eat that for sure. Also, scrambled eggs are now in their routine for dinner about once a week. Sometimes I use a few whole eggs plus a few extra egg whites. Also, have you tried hot cereals? Oatmeal, co-co wheats, farina, etc... If you make them with fat free milk, they are much tastier than water and then you get the vitamins from milk. I also sneak baby food into my spaghetti sauce...usually carrots. No one knows, not even my husband. I also puree my spaghetti sauce in the blender or with a submersion blender to take out the chunks. I also recently took my children to a steakhouse with a salad bar. I made them try things they usually don't eat...in very small quantities...such as "one pea" and "one sunflower kernel", etc....If they tried at least five different things - even just one tiny bite, I allowed them to then eat what they wanted off of the dinner bar and then get the soft-serve ice cream that you dispense yourself. It was a good motivator to get them to try the five new veggies. Even my son who usually gags and spits out food if he doesn't like it tried five bites of different veggies. I am not kidding you, he is 9 years old, and if he does not like a food, he will gag and choke and throw up right there at the table. It is terrible. You might be surprised, and they might like something and go back for more than one and then they might start eating it at home. If not, at least they tried - or no self serve ice cream! I am now going to take them there once a month to try new things. Saves me from buying the produce and throwing it away when they won't eat it, and we get our money's worth at the steak house. Also, how about grinding up spinach into a paste and adding it to meatballs or hamburgers (or whatever it is that they do like?) Start out with just a little so they won't notice the taste right away and work your way up to more. Those are some of the things that I have had success with. I hope they are helpful to you. Good Luck, and God Bless you.

Wow, what a story you have! God Bless You! I have 3 kids. the middle child recently started trying me with saying he doesn't like this and he doesn't like that. I found that if I ignore him and not make a big deal of him eating what is on his plate eventually he'll eat it. Tonight he complained because he had mustard & ketchup on his burger. He doesn't even like ketchup but guess what, he ate the whole thing because I ignored his complaint! I was catering to him by feeding him what he wanted and quickly learned how to play this game. I'll also keep the kids plates wrapped in the fridge if they complain and tell them that will be their bedtime snack if they don't eat it at dinner time. Works every time:)My kids (not the middle one)eat salad, cottage cheese, cabbage soup, only beacuse they see me eating it and want to "try" what mommy has.......go figure! Hope this helps! Good Luck! L.

Dinner a struggle??!! It's a daily nightmare! Let me start by telling you that my husband is a VERY picky eater. He likes what he likes peroid. Don't change it, don't try to improve it or "jazz" it up in anyway. He eats his hamburgers plain, his pizza with peperoni, and all meat must be almost burned to be considered "done". He won't eat anything that is soggy, soupy or raw & green. In 20 yrs I have never seen the man eat a salad, a sloppyjoe, or anything over bread or bisciuts. He will go without. And believe me I have seen him do it. I will try anything at least once with the small exception of shell fish (I'm allergic). We have three kids, one picky to an extreme, and the other two are selectivly picky. It's hard to make them eat what I cook because their father will pick at his food in front of them...to the point if I use chunky tomato sause he will pick out the pieces of tomato! A meal that was fine a month ago that everyone ate will suddenly become "gross and disgusting" with no warning. To make matters worse I have recently been diagnosed with diabetes and have to change my diet! I own countless cookbooks and have watched countless food shows always on the lookout for healthy foods that we will all eat...mostly in vain! There are days when I rebel and cook for myself...and tell the rest of them they can either eat what I prepare or fend for themselves (my youngest is 11 and is learning to cook). When we are extremely busy (like this time of year) I will bow to the "fast food Gods" and ask my hubby to pick up something on his way home from work. Believe it or not with the great choices of salads I actually eat better then when I want to "be good". It also eliminates a lot of dinner battles. But to be honest, there is always someone unhappy or refuses to eat dinner...my simple rule of "eat two bites and if you don't like it you can fix yourself a sandwhich" is used almost on a daily basis by someone in our house. It used to make me NUTS...but with my recent health developments I have decided to take care of myself so that I can live a long healthy life. Hopefully somewhere along the line they will begin to actually eat what I prepare! I can dream can't I??!!

So no, you are so not alone with dinner issues!! I think we should start a club!! Best wishes.

I'm not wonderful or that smart, but I try very hard not to become a short order cook. If my kids don't eat it, they don't eat until breakfast (ok, the 2 yr old gets away with stealing cheese and yogurt out of the fridge late at night!) I serve my kids very small portions so that if they don't like it and I still want them to finish it, it's only 2 or 3 more bites. I have a 7 yr old, 5 yr old, and a monster 2 yr old, and they like spaghetti, my meatloaf and mashed potatoes, and oven fried chicken fingers. They like other things, too, but this has been learned through the old "you've got to at least take 3 bites". Good luck to you, you have enough on your plate without adding mealtime troubles to it (no pun intended).

Ugh! Isn't this hard? I've just begun to work out of the cookbook "Deceptively Delicious." It's designed to trick your kids into eating veggies.

Hmmm
Dinner is tricky in every house I think. Have you tried giving each of them a pizza base with all toppings available and letting them put what they want on it? I chop up lots of veggies (red pepper, zucchini, spinach, corn, olives, steamed broccoli) and let my boy choose what he wants. Usually he does choose more than just sauce and cheese!
Spaghetti sauce is a good place to hide veggies... if you open a jar of prepared sauce and add some sauteed onions, garlic, zucchini, pepper, carrot, and a few chick peas, then puree it all. it looks just the same as the stuff straight from the jar, but with more nutrition.
You can stir steamed broccoli, carrots and cauliflower into mac and cheese - delicious.
Tacos - same deal as the pizza...
I'll send another message if I think of some more!

Hi Beth, I will try to write more later, because I only have a few minutes right now. Please go to my blog--you can get in through my website: www.dianafletcher.com I have a couple blogs from last month, (I think---so scroll down) about fast meals that are healthy. I have three kids, so all the stuff I write is "kid tested". I don't have the challenges you face, and I am sending you all sorts of warm wishes and positive thoughts. I hope some of my information helps you.
Note: There is a life coach for parents of special needs kids and she has a ton of free information about taking care of yourself when you have the kid challenges. specialneedsparentscoach.com Her name is Joan Celebi. Definitely worth checking out. You have your hands full and you probably neglect to take care of yourself sometimes...Good luck! D.

I know it's hard sometimes. My daughter (2) is a very picky eater. When I was growing up my mother would make at least three seperate meals every night, really. I am one of four, but my brother's and father are picky eaters, even to this day. I always swore that I was not going to do that with my own family. My husband is great and will eat whatever I put in front of him, but my daughetr is another story. I don't make anything seperate for her, if she doesn't eat what's for dinner then she doesn't eat. Don't get me wrong I don't starve my child but like you said, I'm not a short order cook. I will do my best to change it up for her with what I had made for dinner, but I refuse to make an entirely different meal. Tonight for example we're having steak, only because it's my hubby's birthday. I will have potatoes, and corn with it. Most likely she won't eat the steak but she will eat the potatoes and corn, and possibly have a second helping. If she wants to eat just veggies then fine. As long as she's eating something than we're fine. My kiids don't have special needs at least none that we know of, they are 2 and ten months. I don't know if you'll be able to do this with your guys, but maybe give it a try. I also heard of Jessica Seinfeld's new cook book. I hear its fabulous and mean to get it myself. Maybe that would give you some ideas too. Sometimes I swear my little girl eats the same thing all of the time. But as long as she's eating that's all that matters. Hope this helps.
C.

My kids aren't too picky, though sometimes I think they get tired of certain foods and refuse to eat them. I typically don't make separate foods for them if I think they may not eat what I am serving, though I make sure I include foods they will eat. For example, if they don't like the meat I have fruit and veggies that they do like or vice versa. I also often serve 3-4 different types of fruit and veggies with dinner so they get variety. I might make a roast with potatoes and carrots and also serve applesause and orange slices.

Here are some of our favorite meals - pot roast, pork roast, spaghetti with meatsauce or meatballs, meatloaf, steak salad(they eat the steak, cucumbers and peppers as well as french fries when I include them), stuffed peppers or stuffed tomatoes, ham/bean/potato stew, ham bbq, pulled pork sandwiches, roast beef au jus sandwiches, a casserole we call potato soup casserole made with cream of potato soup/ground beef/egg noodles and veggie of choice, sweet sausuage over pasta, keilbasa and pierogies, pork stir fry (we also do stir fry with left over steak).

I usually try to make something that I know my boys (3 yrs. and 14 months) will eat (grilled cheese w/ tomato soup, spaghetti, lean hamburgers/turkey burgers, oven baked "fries", sweet potato fries, etc.) I always serve a fruit and milk too. Neither one has ever even tasted soda. I try not to obsess if they eat everything. I encourage them to at least try everything. I know they'll eat when they're hungry and I only let them have a sugary snack if they've eaten a healthy meal beforehand. Otherwise they have to have a slice of cheese, raisins, etc. On a side note about the autism - I highly recommend the book "Louder Than Words" by Jenny McCarthy. Her son was diagnosed with autism and she writes about all of the things that she went through and tried - there's also a ton of websites for information in her book. Good Luck to you!

Jd.

I have been very lucky in that my 3 year old eats most things. However the things he won't eat I give him dippin sauce (ranch dressing, ketchup, sweet and sour sauce or BBQ sauce) For some reason if he can dip it he's happy!
I'm not sure how old your children are but try to get them involved in the cooking if possible. My sister's kids are super picky so she makes her kids try the new food and have 3 bites then she'll make them something they like. This way they are trying something new.

I totaly understand the stuggles you are going through with feeding your kids. I am the "lunchlady" at our local schoool and i see the hard time it is for the teachers and wraparounds to feed our special needs class. They are such sweet kids and you really want to give in to there every need even there eating habits but really your not helping them when you do that. the teacher got to the point where she just said they have to eat what is on there tray, or at least "try" it you would not believe the improvement they have made the year. we had a liitle girl that was blind she was miising part of her baine how sad. har gradparents rases her and all the feed her was mickeyds chicken nuggets french fries and dt. coke. we got to eat our lunch every day by the end and be happy about it. even drink her milk! What im saing is just keep on offering new foods they will eat it. good lunck. God blees you and you special children.

I have three children ranging from 10 years to 17 months. We are all vegetarians. At each meal, I try to serve a variety of different options. I might have asparagus and broccoli, along with a salad. Then I'll have rice or beans and bread. I try to make the items interesting and different each time they are served. Sometimes just serving a little dip with the meal makes it interesting. My son won't eat plain broccoli, but if I let him dip it in a healthy cheese sauce..he'll gobble it up! Or if I cut an apple into neat little shapes with a cookie cutter, my daughter loves it. It takes a little bit longer to do the meal, but I think it is worth it. They say that when a new food item is introduced, it takes a person 10 TIMES to get used to it, so it takes patience. Usually, twice a week, we have something spicy or different and when we have meals like this, I am a bit more tolerant.

Good luck!

There are times when I do feel like a short order cook. This is usually when one of the children is sick (we have 3). When they are sick, I may cook them what they want to eat just to get something in them.

The rest of the time, I choose the menu (or my husband does). We try to make at least one side dish each child likes. My middle child (firstborn son) likes peas for example but my daughter hates them. So I may make an extra vegetable when I make peas for my son. But my husband's policy is that you need to eat what is put in front of you. There is nothing that we make that they don't like in some form for the most part. He has instituted that you need to taste any new food we make and you will probably need to eat half of what is put on your plate.

Along with the food issues, we had whining over the food. Since my daughter whined about the one for over an hour while procrastinating eating it, she was told that if she did not eat it for dinner, she would have to have it for breakfast. My husband ended up covering it and feeding it to her for breakfast the next day. She sometimes whines now but not nearly as much or as often.

But honestly, there are days when they don't eat very much. That happens with any child. They grow in spurts and sometimes need more food and sometimes less. If they are healthy for the most part (I know you have some other issues as well) and the doctor tells you they are growing fine, then I wouldn't worry about how much they eat (except for the one with Prader Willi). We cook a balanced meal with protein (meat, fish or cheese), starch and vegetables (and sometimes fruit). Like I said, we try to make sure we have at least one thing at each meal that each child likes. This way we know that they will eat something during the meal.

Also, meals are a time to sit down and not do anything else but eat our food. When they are done (to our satisfaction), they are supposed to scrape anything left on their plates into the garbage and put the plate into the sink. They are supposed to check the table to make sure there is no food on it as well. We are still working on this (ours are 8, 3, and 9 months), though. Dinner never goes perfectly but we do pretty well and they usually eat pretty healthily.

I know you are dealing with a lot of issues. Just try to be patient. You may want to plan your meals for the week ahead of time. But behaviorally, take it one meal at a time and it will get better with time.

Good luck. Hope this helps.

My kids are pretty good eaters. I always try to serve at least 2 veggies with hopes that they will eat at least one of them. I also try to do a lean meat with a whole grain carb. I avoid white pot and white rice. Instead I do sweet potatoes, turnips whole wheat pasta etc. Fruit for dessert with all natural ice cream every once in a while. The menus can get boring at times, but health is more important. I avoid packaged and processed foods. www.livegreeneasy.com

First off, you must be truly blessed and very patient. God only gives, to those who can handle the difficulties of everyday life, for that You are definatly one of God's children (which ever God you believe).

Next, most every mom/dad struggles with at least on of their "offspring". Mine is #2 of 4. I usually make some form of what she likes, she is my carb/cheese queen. We usually always have a pasta or rice dish with dinner. As far a veggies go, let's just say we eat alot of fruit. I offer at least 1-2 veggies a night, I personally love them-more for me! Corn is a hit (not sure if it is really a veggie) or coin carrots-has to be that form. They say most will outgrow. I do refuse to make more than one dinner a night, so I try to have one food they all will like. I have them eat at least on bite of the meat, and 3 bites of a veggie. We usually don't have a snack before bed, we eat arount 6:30, but that may alleve some of the issues of the guilt of "starving" them. PS. they won't starve themselves. You are on the right track. I am not a fan of fast food, we make it a treat maybe 1-2 times a month. Buffets are fun, but I guess your oldest would have a hard time there. We do like fruit like I said, and it gives them an illusion of "bad" food, but tastes yummy. Summer is coming, and food is much easier.

Good Luck to all who reads this, and you are not alone!
Teri
Mom of 4 (9boy,8girl,5girl,&3girl)

Hi Beth,
I only have O. child, a five year old son, and I'm lucky because he eats pretty much anything. He loves and I make salads, chicken, pork chops or tenderloin, steak, stuffed peppers, pizza, hot dogs, sausage & potatoes, BBQ beef in crock pot, ham BBQ's, chicken drumsticks, hamburgers and fish. He also really likes all veggies and all fruit. I make a tater-tot casserole that everyone really likes (sounds a little gross-but very easy and it's meat & potatoes, just add a salad) Press about 1.5 lb. ground round into the bottom of a glass 9x13, sprinkle w/ 1T of onion soup mix, Mix 1/2 c condensed mild w/ 1 can of cream of anything soup, and spread on the top of the meat. Layer frozen tater tots on the top. Bake at 350 for about an hour. Pretty tasty and very quick!
I've never gotten into the habit of making him a separate meal because he's always pretty much eaten & liked what I make. I'm sure with 4 kids, it's more of a challenge finding something to please everyone!
That's an idea of what goes on in my house anyway.

That is really awesome. You should be proud to beat to your own drum especially if it works for you.
I do just the same with my own and I have no cares in the world if people have something to say, and believe me there are those that do.
A little background- when younger, doctors thought it'd be best to put me on ritalin thinking I was adhd/add. I was just an overworked child so therefore, my mom would "restrict" what I ate. Kept sugars to an absolute low since that triggers an over stimulus to the body to act out and was very big on veggies.
Now yes, veggies are a bit much since kids would rather eat the usual---pizza, hambugers, hotdogs, fries....but what I do, it get the kids to help. IS this a TASK? Yes it is but, in the long run you are teaching them to be smart and self sufficient. Try to use one child a night so you can do one task with them. Have them really get involved in the dinner making and let them explore, even try to get them to grow a veggie garden out of pots. They can try the stuff they grow.
You would be amazed on the out come.
Now again, this is a trying method----and definately not something that can be fixed in one night let alone a week. Over time, it'll change.
***Secondly and most important even while you are dealing with a child bound with Prader Willi/ & bipolar, use small plates! Visual to all children is the biggest imagination of everything. When they see a big "regular" dinner plate half full, they think--either one of two things, it's half full or half empty, depending on the dinner served on hand. I would suggest that you make a small purchase and buy a few of those small dinner plates/ large dessert plates and give them a concept of a lot when you really are giving them a little or just the right portion of food a body really needs. And heck, if you are looking to trim down "who knows" but this is a diet trick they tell people who are looking to trim down.
I always serve a veggie with a meal, and the deal is that they have to eat ONE bite. Over time with age, increase the bite size. I still get the " can I just eat one tomato slice". My son is now fine with eating two.
I give you a pat on the back and wish you the best of luck. Feel free to comment or question anything.

Mom of 4.

i am embarrassed tosay i am also a short order cok i usualy make a main thing but wonder off if they want soup or sandwich..saves a fight i guess i have learned to choose my battles..