Difficulty with Son's Baby-sitter

It's easy for first time parents to feel intimidated by a care giver that seemingly knows more than you do about babies. However, you have every right to call and expect an answer within a one to two hour period, particularly when the provider has a cell phone and a land line available. Remember, she's not doing you a favor by watching your child, you're paying her for her services.
Let her know that you are concerned when you don't hear back from her in a timely manner and ask the provider when the best time of day to call is. If you're not comfortable with her response and are feeling increasingly concerned/anxious about your child's care during the day, consider switching providers.
Trust your instincts and don't blow off warning signs. Your child's safety and your peace of mind are of the utmost importance.
Best wishes.

C.,
It is not unreasonable for you to call at all. Maybe to her it is, but I would talk with her about the importance of this to you. I would do the same (and I did when my son was at daycare). I would lay down some guidelines with her about getting back to you. I care for a nine month old girl and told the parents they are welcome to call anytime, if I dont answer please leave a message or when I see that you have called I will call you back when I am not busy with the children. Of course taking care of the children is important so that is my first priority. If he is napping when you call then it shouldn't be an inconvenience unless she is caring for the other kids. Its important to have good and open communication with your caregiver...you all will have a better relationship. Sit down with her and discuss because its important to you and im sure she would want the same from her sitter/caregiver.
HOpe this helps!

You aren't being unreasonable at all! I would address it with her. I'd ask her if there is a good time for you to call to check in with her. You could offer to have her call you at a certain time every day if that would work. She has kids so I am sure she will understand why you want to check in! I know I often don't answer the phone at home b/c I am changing a diaper, etc. OR because (like I just got now)it is a call from a telemarketer etc. I don't always check the messages in a timely manner either. If you don't address it now, you'll end up frustrated and then the relationship goes downhill. I knew my former provider checked her e mail during naptime so I asked her to write me a quick e mail every day. The day I asked I also gave her a little 'thanks for all you do' gift. It is nice to feel appreciated! Good luck!!

I have a daycare and I always tell my parents call whenever or often as you need to. There may be a time that I can't pickup, either changing a diaper, feeding someone, making lunches or outside playing but I always call them right back.
So I encourage you to address the issue with her. You have every right to do that.

I encourage an open communication with my parents, whether it's an issue I have or one they may have.

Just remember she's caring for the love of your life.

Ask her what a good time to call and check in is if you were to call...

I use to work at a inhome daycare and we were always busy. Doesn't matter if you have 1 kid or 11. Preparing lunch, feeding lunch, cleaning up after lunch there is ALWAYS something to do. I'm sure she's probaly busy. The ONLY time we ever had a chance to sit down was when ALL the kids were napping.At nap time the phone ringer was turned off so it wouldn't wake the kids. We let the phone go all the time when we had our hands full and always returned calls promptly but we never had parents call and check in on a daily basis only if a parent was worried about their kid coming down with a illness or something.

Hmm, daily telephone calls. My opinion is that they can be a terrible disruption, always calling at the moment little Johnny has had a blow-out and his diaper is running over, not to mention just a hint of parent-mistrust lies in the back of my mind, but I understand your need to checkup on your son. It's too bad our society has not enabled certain women to stay at home with "love of your life" more often. Things as they are, call her, expect her to return your call, but be patient. In the meantime, maybe you can re-evaluate your current situation, and stay at home with your son. Missing my children is one reason why I became a provider 17 years ago.

Hi C.,

I do inhome daycare myself and for parents who want it, I have a daily sheet that I use to let them know what is happening throughout the day. I accept phone calls, too, but as has been mentioned, there are a lot of reasons I do not answer. Even during naptime, I am busy doing things I cannot get done when the kids are up and often do not like to stop for a call. One way me and one parent communicated was through email. If she had a question, she knew sending an email was a great way to get an answer. I can't always stop to talk when everyone is hollering and playing, but my computer is right next to the playroom and I can answer an email easier. You have every right to check in on your little one and having her own kids, I hope she understands.

Most daycares have an open door policy, where you are allowed to pop in at any time or call and check at anytime. As long as you are not calling throughout the day, or expecting a long conversation, you should be able to do that. It is the only connection you can have to your child during the day. I only call my sons daycare when there is a reason to think he may be crabby or anything, but he is also 2 1/2. They told me when he started I could call at any time, and every time I do, someone answers and answers my questions, and tells me everything they can think of about his day so far. I would find a new provider if she isn't willing to do that. Good luck!

It is not at all unreasonable for you to call and you should expect to be called back quickly. I would bring the topic up gently at first (you know she is doing a good job, but it just reassures you to hear how he is doing), but be clear that you really do need her to call you back, even if she's a bit busy. Then I would give it a little time. If she does not consistently respond positively to your call (assuming the call is only a few minutes) and call you back, I would look for another provider. You need to feel 100% comfortable with where your child is and how he is being cared for. She should understand that and meet your reasonable requests.

If it helps, my son was in a similar home daycare for three months and I called every afternoon. He now has a nanny and she calls me around noon everyday, just to let me know how his morning was. The calls are only 1-2 minutes (often the nanny just leaves me a message), but I like to have that connection.

Good luck!

B.