H.P.
C., I know this was posted awhile ago but I thought I'd respond anyway. I too am a lawyer and have worked in a few jobs with the same feeling as you. I ended up in terrible situations because I could not just settle for something, no matter how secure. I could not tolerate boring work for which I had no personal passion. Additionally, my pregnancies and child care duties always seemed to be a problem for my employers. Finally, after i had my third child, I decided to go into business for myself. It has been four years of very exciting work and personal fulfillment (nothing beats being my own boss-no rules that do not make sense) combined with financial instability, serious stress of running my own business, and periods of serious illness. I have recently decided to seek employment to simplify my life--at least while my kids are young. I think it's good I have seen both sides and I would ideally like to be somewhere in the middle. I wouldn't be too hard on yourself, you are doing a great thing staying in a secure and healthy environment. It is a really difficult balance--doing work you love and are engaged in and being secure. I was very depressed when I was in a job like you describe-but also depressed when we struggle financially. Of course you need to find your way but maybe this will provide some insight.