So, I am questioning my parenting skills this morning. On one hand, I think I did the right thing, on the other that old saying "pick your battles" keeps coming to mind.
So we are in AZ and it is mostly hot. Well, we knew we were in for some colder weather this week, so I bought my daughter a new outfit over the weekend. She is 5 and has always been very picky. She picked out a cute little outfit from Narrtje with leggings and a little dress to go over it. Knowing how picky she is, when we got home she immediately wanted the tags off and washed. So I explained that she has to be sure she will wear it becuase once the tags are off and it is washed I can no longer get my money back. We knew today would be chilly, 70's for us is cold. So the plan was to wear the outfit today. She got it on and decided she didn't like it and wants to take it back to the store. I told her no and explained that we had talked about why we could no longer take it back. There was a bit of "battle of the wills", but I held my ground and insisted she wear it. She was upset, a bit of a tantrum, but eventually went to school happy. I even called my husband at work for his opinion because I wasn't sure if I was just being controlling and stubborn. What would you moms have done?
I would have done the same thing. I don't see see anything wrong with how you handled this. Not controlling, but plain old parenting! Good job :)
I'd have done what you did. You gave her the option, explained what it meant, and she made the decision. She has to live with it. The only thing I *might* have done differently (and might not have) is to not make her wear it today. I might have let her decide to wear something else and then come back to it another day. I can't tell (and too tired to reread it!) but if she did agree to wear it today, then I would have held her to that too.
You did good:-) She make the choices...you followed through and held her to her word. If she had not made any of those decisions and you tried forcing her into it anyway, then I would disagree with you.
I would've made her wear it too.
ETA- My kids usually don't get a choice. I pick their clothes for school and they wear them. They get choices during the weekend.
I would of done the same thing with my daughter. I think that it is actually an important lesson for them to learn from that. Once they make a decision and act on it, they can not undo what they've done.
I think you did great with this situation. You warned her, you explained to her what would happen and then you follow through with it.
Good job mom :)
You were letting her know who's boss. Good job.
No, that's just called parenting.
Unleashing the Crazy would've been throwing the new outfit in the trash and sending her in her pj's or a paper sack to school ;)
That was a good battle to pick - otherwise she'll just keep getting more and more picky about her clothes if she has that much control over you.
the same thing you did. NOT being crazy or controlling AT ALL!!! you are the parent, she is the child, which means what you say goes!
I would have done the same thing. In fact, I did!
We are having our first cold weather here and this weekend we went shopping for long shirts/pants for my 5 year old son. He helped pick the clothes. This morning we had the same battle you did. The thing is, he's funny about new clothes, but once I successfully get him to wear them for a day they become old and comfortable. If I didn't pick that battle he'd still be squeezing into his baby clothes! LOL
You did fine. Hopefully she will decide she likes the outfit today. If she doesn't, THEN pick your battles, because forcing her to wear it after that will be a waste of time, and cause unnecessary conflict. We all buy things that we later decide we don't really like for one reason or another.
Heck No! She made an agreement and you made her stick to it. You taught her a lesson, when you give your word you should keep it. I think that is something that we seem to have lost these days! Good for you!
I think you did the right thing. Her pickiness is not permission to waste your money. She made a promise and then broke it. That's a battle should should choose!
The other thing is, if she refuses to wear it again, then there are no more purchases of new outfits. Period.
If you really want to teach her the realities of life, take her back to the store and have HER explain that the tags are off and the garment washed, and she still wants to return it. Have the manager explain that the store cannot re-sell that item - no one wants something used. You'd have to call the store ahead of time and tell them what you have planned. I know this is a hassle but it's something to consider if she continues in this vein.
You're fine.
You told her what it meant to take the tags off and wash it. She agreed.
You were a woman of your word and she had a good lesson in what it means to be a woman of hers.
You did the right thing! She just learned a lesson that there are concequences for her actions or decisions she makes. You explained that she was "stuck" with it once the tags were off. She made the decision to take them off so now it's hers.
I would have kept the tags on until she tried it on.. Although, too late now.. The other thing is.. she is 5.. keep that in mind, so for you to want her to reason like an adult does when you say, ok if we take the tags off and wash it, then you must wear it... that sounds all well and "logical" to you as an adult, but to a kid so young who doesn't have the capacity as of yet to know when something IS expensive or the principle behind matters, to her, it's simple.. either she wants to wear something or she doesn't..... don't over complicate things.. your daughter is just being a kid....she isn't in competition with you personally, right now, she is simply learning how to stand up for herself.... and having a "voice" and a "choice" is one of the ways in which a kid does that..
I would have done the same. I'm in Gilbert too, we are probably neighbors. It is FREEZING out...my kids wore jackets to school today...gotta laugh when we *think* its cold when its 70!! No one else gets it tho! =)
[cyber high five] I would have done the same as you!
I'm in Gilbert too... OMG the weather was awesome! (And yeah... I wore a light jacket yesterday too! LOL) Today is going to be more of the same! LOVE IT!
I would have done the same. One of my older girls is picky and wants different pants for school, skinny khakis. I told her I was not going to run around and spend money on clothes she already has. Sorry, already got the school clothes so they are stuck with them.
Exactly what you did! She had fair warning- this will probably become her new favorit outfit, by the way!
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Exactly what you did! She had fair warning- this will probably become her new favorit outfit, by the way!
