Depression One Year After Having Baby

Postpartum depression can start more than a year after childbirth. Please call your doctor right away and get on some medication. It will help you. I am sorry you are going through this.

You have a lot going on. You had a baby later in life and struggled to maintain that pregnancy. Now that you are 38 you could be starting peri-menapause. So your hormones have been up and down and your emotions have been up and down for over 2 years. If you breastfed your little boy, they are still not straightened out. Peri-menapause can start in your late 30's, you notice a difference in your PMS symtoms and the heavy-lightness or duration of your period.
It would be a good time to see your doctor for a check-up but before you hit the medication route try herbs and other natural products. Soy isoflavins can help to balance estrogen, St john's Wort can help with depression as can 5 HTP a combined pill of calicum-magnesium-potassium will also help. Getting out into the sunshine and fresh air helps more than you will ever know until you try it. Getting into an areobic exercise program 3 x a week help to increse endorphins. I recommend you try all of this before you try medication.

I feel for you. I have been/still am where you are, but for different reasons... the guilt, the feeling that days go by and you are wasting time being depressed, the wishing to get out of the rut. But I will say this, you are NOT at fault here and you have not done anything wrong. Hormones might be at play here, but I have a feeling there is more going on. For me, depression hit as a result of realizing that I had had a tubal ligation and "couldn't" have more kids without serious medical intervention (which we did, and are doing perhaps, but that is a whole other story that isn't the happiest!). So maybe what we have in common, and what I read between your lines, is the loss you feel for your fertility, the depression over how much it took for you to carry a baby to term, the realization that this is the "only child" as you say. This doesn't mean you are a bad mom and that you don't appreciate your child, don't let anyone tell you that. There is likely more at play here. I encourage you to talk to a therapist trained to deal with womens' issues so you can be validated and see that much of this is out of your control. Hang in there and get the help you need; you will be a better mother for it, I swear!

Im so sorry you are feeling this way. My best advice is to talk to your doctor about it. Have him/her run some blood tests to check you out and let them truly know how you are feeling so you dont waste anymore time. It could be depression, low vitamin D levels, hormonal imbalances, any number of things. Trust your doctor to help you figure it out and get back to feeling normal.

Good luck.

Having a much wanted and much loved child doesn't mean that you won't have times where you miss the life you had before. It doesn't make you immune to stress and anxiety that comes along with being a parent. You could have the best behaved baby on the planet and it's still immensely stressful for so many reasons I can't even lay them all out here. That doesn't ever mean you're not grateful for your child. You're human and you're allowed to feel how you feel.

It also doesn't mean that you're immune to post-partum depression. You can actually develop PPD two years AFTER you deliver a baby at any time during that two years. It sounds to me as if you might have PPD so I would talk to your primary care physician about referring you to a psychiatrist (can Rx medication and give you talk therapy) or a psychologist (doesn't Rx medication and can give you talk therapy). Even if you don't think it's PPD it's worth having a professional check you out to be certain.

It's perfectly normal. There are so many parents, even hubbies that feel this way after having a baby. Parenting takes a lot out of you. Berries are a natural anti-depressant, so if you like those try eating more of them to help you. Taking yoga to help your mind relax is another way of helping you. There is a lot of stress that comes with marriage and parenting. There's no escape from it. If you feel like crying, cry. If you feel like being mad, be mad (not in front of the baby though)...let out your emotions as much as possible and keep the communication open between you and your husband and talk with him about how you are feeling.
Sounds like you really need a Calgon break, or even a day at the spa with a friend. It will really help refresh your mind and rejuvinate you. I know I could use that. Make sure you and your husband make time for each other ie: have a date night etc. When we have children, sometimes our lives focus so much on them that we forget about our spouses and that we need to still have our quality time. :-) I have done that plenty. lol
You can get so mentally drained, that it will leave you physically fatigued. Exercise (which I need to take this advice myself) will help release A LOT of the tension and stress that leads up to depression. :-)
And of course you can always come on here to vent on whatever you want. :-) I'm here if you need a cyber shoulder. OK? Smile..you're doing just fine.

When my son was that age I was so caught up trying to be super Mom I wasn't getting enough sleep and I kept to a schedule that was constant work/worry/cleaning/errands from 4am through 10pm at night.
I was talking with my doctor when she jokingly said I needed to get more organized and I jumped down her throat saying there was no way I could organize any more than I had because every minute was already taken.
6 months on an anti depression medication made a world of difference.
It felt like the hair on the back of my neck could finally quit standing on end.
Talk to your doctor.
You'll be fine.

Talk to your doctor....it sounds like sometime of depression. You may just need a little bit of antidepressant for a short time. Or, it might be more. But talk to a professional. It could just be an imbalance...

PPD? Try an antidepressant..... Nothing to lose and everything to gain.

I have a 10 month old and recently started a low dose of zoloft because I felt EXACTLY like you. I was able to see all the good surrounding me but wasn't actually feeling any joy. I cannot begin to tell you how much better I feel! I am such a better parent.... So much more engaged.

Please don't suffer.....Talk to your doctor.

I had depression like this for some time after the birth of my son. At the time, I worked at a very stressful job and do think the is outside stress is what also kept my depression lingering.. That said, here's what I do now.. one, take it in small steps. .are you getting any exercise at all? truly, for me, it makes ALL the difference, even if just getting out and walking with your little one.. a 1/2 hour a day.. two, I began to drink green smoothies.. not sure if you like lots of veggies, but for me, it was so essential... I began to make one each day. I loaded it up with kale, blueberries OR whatever was in season. I found that giving myself "brain food" as it were, totally helped my mood (I have had severe tendonitis) and from all that I read, green foods help the body heal.. I also began to take OMEGA oil. Currently, I take Krill Oil (pref dr mercoola) and whether it's mind over matter or not, I definitely think it works. Lastly, it's important that you get enough water... water to me is what gas is to a car.. FUEL..... Whenever I do all those things, I do tend to feel much...... especially the exercise. there is really no getting around that.. keep in mind and as someone mentioned, you are 38.. hormones could be changing a bit.... try getting and feeling better from a nutritional standpoint and see if that helps...

I wish you the best