Daycare/Work

Option 2, I would want my kids close to me. If they are sick they need their mom anyway.

(Don't visit them at lunch...it will disrupt their routine and confuse them.)

I can't believe there is no daycare option around you if you truly live in the Columbus area. I'd do a little more digging. Option 1 is not an option so rule it out. I'd bring the kids close to my work. Then at lunch you can run over an visit. Go with #2. Good luck with the new job!

i would make a concerted effort to find good daycares close to my job.
pre-school prepares children for school, since kindergarten no longer fulfills that function. you really don't need a 'school' to prepare toddlers for pre-school. find them somewhere safe, clean and fun.
khairete
S.

Have you looked into a nanny? I was a "nanny" for a family years ago and they paid me $200 per week. I worked 9 out of 10 days and got all Federal holidays off. Their kids were 1 and 3. It wasn't great pay, but it worked for me at the time, and them.

Otherwise, it looks like you're in a tough spot....same place I was a few years ago, in that I had to start work at 630AM (before daycares opened) and my husband leaves the house at 4am for his job 2 hours away. I had to be in that early to be home in time to get my kids off the bus. So we hired a morning sitter, she comes at 615 and got the kids on the bus. When my youngest was still in daycare, she would take him to daycare after getting the older two on the bus, and she was off for the day. I paid her $200 every two weeks for that. She will start her 3rd year with us next month. Can you look into an option like that?

Have you looked into home daycare? At your children's ages that might be a better option. A better option still would be to find someone willing to come to your home. For what you will pay for 2 at a center you might find it the same price to get a nanny type sitter. No waking the kids, no long commutes for anyone. Life would be simpler.

Don't visit at lunch it will wind them up when they want to go with money. Will throw off the whole afternoon for everyone you included.

Option 2. Spending time with them in the car can be a good thing. One note (and I'll probably get flack for this, but you won't understand unless you've been there), visiting for lunch may not be a great idea. Kids get into routine when they adjust to daycare, and when you show up - that means it's time to go home. If you show up for lunch and don't take them home, they will be miserable the rest of the day out of confusion - I did it as a parent (oops!) and have observed it as a provider.
You should be able to research providers, even if you don't live right there. A good in-home provider can prepare your children for school - they don't HAVE to attend a preschool to be ready for Kindergarten. Good luck!

Truthfully? I would keep looking for another job that's closer to home while you have the time. None of your current options seems workable.

That had better be an awesome job. I wouldn't take either of those options!

Choose the easiest possible option for you. Do not worry about the "best" possible daycare. I am sure you'll find one the kids like and can play all day and have fun. Preparing for preschool requires nothing more.

Minimal drive time is key!!! You will have to do this every day so you need the easiest thing for YOU.

Early wake time? Then it's early bedtime.

Both options are not the best. Why- you are doing too much driving, and the other they will be doing too much driving.

I would look into a nanny that would come to your home? A small home daycare (that is well estabolished) in your area.

My daughter is in an AWESOME home daycare. This woman takes my son for the summers and off school days. Becuase the daycare is 20 mins from my house, with my son going to school we can not keep them year round in the same daycare. Her Day care- at the tender age of 2 she is going to be doing some preschool work. I feel all that she will be doing will more than prepare her for school (unless she needs speach or somthing like that)

Home daycares tend to be cheaper- more family like. If you can get a good one. The lady my kids go to has been doing this for over 20 years. She is the only care giver that has never shyed away from taking my son. (he has adhd/sensory). In the year and half that my daughter has been there, she has only closed 2 days with out notices_she had the stomach flu).

If you go the nanny route- get two? or find somone that can be a back up if the other one is sick. Same thing with a home daycare, even if it is a neighbor for a day or two.

Good luck.

My in home daycare is right around the corner from my husband. as he has the more standard hours this works out well. The only time it is a challenge is if he can not pick her/them up. Because like you I work 45 mins north of my house, and the daycare is 20 mins south.. I can usually get there in about an hour. I have picked her up 2 times in the last year in half... 1 my kiddo was sick, the other my hubby was stuck on a job.

The questions that really came to mind when I read you post were:

1. Are you sure there isn't a very good daycare center closer to home? You said, "The great daycares are 20-25 mins SOUTH of my house." What about the ones that are just shy of great that are really close to your house? Our son is goes to a daycare center very close to our house. But when I did consider daycare centers near my job and ones near my husband's job, we realized how hard it would be for the other one to bring something or pick up if something came up. It would just be a real pain in the butt. I'm so glad we chose the one near our house. It makes it doable for both of us if anything comes up.

2. If there really isn't one near your house, you might consider a nanny. Keep in mind that a nanny can also take them to the park and playdates, maybe even a class at the YMCA if you like that idea. A nanny can also drive them to preschool and back. Yes, daycares do a nice job of preparing kids for kindergarten (socializing with other kids, following rules and routines, listening to other adults), but preschools do a great job as well. The other advantage might be that they go to preschool with some of their future classmates.

3. I want to echo what ElleBelle said about lunch. Visiting your kids at lunch sounds like a nice idea, but it rarely works. Routines are very important at that age. Daycares are very dependent on routines and kids knowing what to expect. It's just usually easier all around if parents stick to drop off and pick up. If we have to bring something for our son during the day (ie, I forgot his backpack for PreK), we give it to the gals in the office, and they deliver it to the classroom. Much less disruptive.

This is a really scary and overwhelming step. I do remember how nervous I was two years ago when I was calling places and visiting. Visit places. Most places will prefer you visit in the morning, since the kids nap in the afternoon. I tried to schedule visits between 9:00 and 10:00. That was when most parents were done with dropoff and the kids were playing or doing an activity. It's a great time to see the place and get a feel for everything. But it's still overwhelming.

Good luck!

Option 2. You can use NAEYC.org (national accrediting agency) to find good daycares.

My kids adore their daddy, but when they are sick, they want momma. If yours are the same, may as well have them close to you to pick up fast.

And be prepared, they will get sick a lot the first year. Have good backup care (friends or relatives) for the day after your child gets sent home with a fever since they need to be fever free for 24 hours to go to daycare.

Definitely option 2. I would start researching daycares in the area as of yesterday. Start online, and then branch out. Start visiting some.

Having been in a similar situation, I found a wonderful in-home daycare 10 minutes from where (I used) to work. I enjoyed the ride with DD, and looked so forward to picking her up after work. It was the highlight of my day!

The long commute gave us bonding time whether I sang to her, talked, etc. Plus, we both grumbled in traffic.

So for real, if you start now, you will find something. If you're comfortable asking your employer, start there. Word-of-mouth speaks volumes.

And please ignore the comments of "they are only small once." Of course Moms who work outside the home know that. We just have to do what's best for our family!!!

Good luck and keep us posted.

I am going to say this then move on.

If you go visit your kids during your lunch hour that will be horrible for them. They will suffer more and harder separation anxiety. Parents have no idea how horrible this is for the kiddo's. Especially as young as yours. They'll see you come in and think it's time to go. Then when you leave them there again they'll think you are abandoning them and they'll cry for hours. They will start screaming when it's time to go to child care and the teachers will not be able to teach or do anything with the classes because they'll be trying to help your children adjust to the center.

So please don't do this. It's not what you want. It's not good for the kids, it's only good for the parents. Parents actually think it's cute when their kiddos cry for them. It's not good for the kids.

If I had your kids in my center and you visited every day and they were fine with it then I'd have no issues with it. BUT if this visit started a day of crying and upset the kids I'd fire your family as clients. Then you'd be hunting for another center and might not be able to find one that encouraged parents to visit. Of course you should be able to walk in at any time but letting them see you doing it is not what's best for your kids. Popping in to observe the classroom from a vantage point where they can't see you is actually better for them.

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Now, for choosing the right way to do this.

Think of the kids, they need to go someplace they'll love. If they do get sick they want someone there as soon as possible. I think you need to consider that you'll need to leave them close to family and friends.

Think about paying someone to come to your house to pick them up. Consider mom or dad or sister or neighbor. They could take the kiddo's to child care each day for you. With the cost of gasoline and how much your time is worth it might be the less expensive way around this issue.

What about having a person in the area that takes their kids to the same center? Does anyone you know love the place their kids go? Does that place have an opening for your children? Can you be happy with this facility? If so that solves your problem. The friend can transport your kids to child care and then hubby or family can pick them up.

Once you've been in your position for a while you could work through lunch perhaps a few days per week and be able to leave early so you can pick the kids up yourself.

I agree with Veruca Salt. This doesn't sound like the right time in life for you to be doing this. Perhaps somewhere in there it will be a good financial decision, but then have you also considered how much daycare is? Little people are little for only such a short time. Can you afford to stay home just a little bit? How about your own daycare. Options three and four in my opinion should be options one and two...your little people need you.

Option 2. When I was working 1/2 hour from home, my kids were in "daycare" (grandma's house) and pre school near my job. I enjoyed the commute with them and we could do errands together on the way home, they were already with me.

Now we moved and job/school/work/grandma are all in the same 10 min vicinity which is the best.

First off, maybe it's a convenience of the "small, big city" I live in, but I wouldn't look for a job that far away from my house! Even when we were looking to buy our house, we really wanted to stay on a certain side of town that is close and convenient to both of our jobs. When my dd started at her daycare, I chose a few that were en-route from our home (at the time) and my work. I finally chose one (a great one!) that is less than a mile from my work. I pick her up 99% of the time and have only been called to pick her up early a few times (like 2 or 3) in the 4.5 years she's been there!

So, I'd do some research for something close to work (or at least on the way)--because you're most likely the one who will pick them up and if they need you, you'll want to get there as quickly as possible. Or, you could find something closer to home (or the rest of the family) to make the transition now, and plan to move them when you get settled at work (ask coworkers where they take their kids).

Also, yes, there are daycares that open early and close late (6am-6pm), but the law allows a max of 10 hours, so you could drop them off earlier as long as someone was available to pick them up earlier. Compare costs and amenities, too. Most expensive doesn't always equal best quality.

Finally, I'm with the other moms who say not to visit at lunch time. It's disruptive and confusing. I tried it when dd first started (granted, she was basically a newborn--still nursing), but it was distracting to the other kids and very emotionally draining on ME!

An in-home daycare or nanny may be a better fit for your family. Does the increase in income justify the (huge) added expense of childcare?!

Good luck, mama!

option 2. hands down.
to find care - google "child care aware" they have local services call "child Care Resource and referral" you work with someone to help you find child care in a certain area, in a certain price range, curriculum, etc.
You give them what you are looking for and they help. there is sometimes a cost (here it is about $10) and they give you 5-7 places PLUS guides and tips of what to look for in a QUALITY child care program.
Of course you will run by licensing, etc. Personally, the NAEYC accreditation is not a gold standard. they have skin (and money) in the game as they are an accrediting agency.
Child care aware is a nonprofit who often coordinates the training for Child care professionals in your area.
I have used them in my neck of the woods and have never been disappointed.
Good luck. it is a hard decision, but I agree with you - time in the car is still time to sing, talk, be silly, etc.

L.,

Congratulations on the new job.

Have you considered home daycare?

My daughter and I are certificated teachers and run our own home daycare for infants to preschool age children. Right now we're full, but anticipate an opening soon. If you would like to know more about our Montessori influenced program and location, here is our website http://www.twoteachersdaycare.com/

Good luck with your search.

I have a friend who is in the same scenario you are in. And she chose the daycare closest to her (but it's also closest to their doctors offices, too). Hubby works over an hour away but has, on occasion, driven all the way to the daycare to get the kids. I am not sure I'd love having my kids an hour away, but if they are close to your parents and hubby, then that means they are close to three people versus just you. And since you have the extra drive time in the morning, I'd have hubby pick them up so you do not have to drive the extra time in the morning AND night.

I'm not going to suggest you find another job bc likely you've tried... And I'll assume too there really are no other daycares where you live, including home daycares and you can't afford a nanny. So if these are really your only 2 options, I'd go with #2 for sure. You can research daycares pretty easily. See if the towns nearby have local mothers clubs with chat boards. Ask your future boss if there are other women in your dept with young kids and if they'd mind if you got in touch to ask them for recommendations. And I'd target say 15 min south of your new job. I'd want to be closest to my kids and the # of days they get sick AT daycare should be pretty low. If they're sick in the morning which is more probable, it doesn't matter where their daycare is... And the hopefully few times they need to be picked up, couldn't your mother drive the extra 30 min? Or you meet her halfway? I'd hope it wouldn't happen much at all. But you will be taking them on a daily basis so that should be the main focus I think. We've always had a nanny but I've also always been close by at work and it's been very important to me. And adding all that time to the drive just for sick days doesn't seem worth it with Option 1. Good luck! It'll be hard and I just thought this morning - how did I work when my girls were so young? And I had a nanny... It was really hard but I got through it and so will you. There just won't be much time for anything but work and kids for a while.

Time is most important when your kids are little.

I would go with option 2. You could also check with your local elementary school to see if they know of any in-home daycares in the area where you live.

Option 2. And I suspect there are daycare centers closer to your home. Also - despite what people seem to be saying, a 40 minute commute is by no means an exceptionally long commute. In many places that is pretty standard.