Daycare Ugh

There will be at least one kid in every daycare who is like this, and there will be one in every class at school. He is old enough to be taught that he shouldn't behave badly just because someone else is. It is a learning opportunity and he may as well have it now rather than later.

My kids have been going to preschool and regular school now for 7 years. There is ALWAYS a bad kid (or 3!!) in my kid's classes. Always.
Your son will be around it no matter what. It's up to you and his teacher to teach your son that the bad behavior of Jack is not acceptable behavior for him. It will take a bit of time and some consistency on the teachers part. The quicker she has Jack behaving or in time out, the faster all of the other children will learn what is okay and what is not.
L.

If you are to the point where you are looking at other options, then you should talk to the daycare and bring up any concerns they have and you have regarding his behavior. There will always be that one kid, but the difference is how they handle it. If it's only been 2 weeks, it may be a passing phase if you give it more time and continue to help him to use his words instead. If the other child acts up a lot, there may be things you are not and should not be privy to going on, but the teacher should be able to tell you whether or not they think there's a greater issue with your child.

Do you think you will be able to find a daycare with 100% perfect children? If so, then move him there. Otherwise deal with your son's behavior and dont worry so much about the other kids. You will always have other kids around him, some will be worse, some will be better. He has to be taught to make his own decisions.

And show me someone who has a 2 or 3 year old that has never hit or pushed, and I will show you someone who is not telling the truth! :)

I started working at a daycare about 8 weeks ago. We have one child who is always in trouble. We have two other boys who have started mimicking his behavior. We have told the parents of the other two that we're 90% sure this is a monkey see monkey do situation and not the result of a deeper issue. The parents understand and so while we tell them that their child had some behavioral issues that day, we praise the child when they do something good...that way they're getting more attention when good, rather than when they do something they shouldn't. The parents of the other child have been told time and time again that their child has behavioral issues, and we've recommended some sort of evaluation for it.

If your daycare providers aren't giving you that kind of feedback, then there is an issue with the daycare. Ultimately it comes down to this, if you feel the only issue is this child being a bad influence on your child, then trust that the daycare and his teachers are working to rectify the situation.

Good luck!

ETA: I wanted to address the age difference. In my daycare, there are times when a teacher has more kids then she should, so they move a child who is about to transition up to the next class. That class may have a child who is in the process of transitioning up as well. I know there have been times when I have a 22 month old (1 year) and a three year old in the same class. During those times, it is my job to make sure that the 1 year old doesn't get run over by the older kids, and still follows the rules. It's a common practice. I would talk to the director though and ask when the 4-year old will be moved up, or if there are plans to keep your child in there regularly.

2 year olds and 4 year olds are not usually together at all during the day. Talk to the director and find out why they are in the same room.

When it gets late in the day they might mix for half an hour or so but the 4 year olds usually go up with the school kids since there can be way more 4 year olds mixed with school kids than 4 years olds mixed with 2 year olds.

I could have 20 school kids per teacher and 14 4 year olds per teacher. In the 2 year old classroom there can only be 8 per teacher, the 3 year olds can have 12 per teacher. So if there are 4 year olds being put down 2 whole classes I would be wondering why that is happening.

If this is home child care...well, this is one reason why child care centers are better. They keep the kids divided to their own age groups much better.

I agree that it all depends on how much you like the daycare and how well the caregivers are handling the behavior of the "problem" child. And how well they are now handling the behavior your son has picked up. This may be two separate methods depending on why Jack acts the way he does. Maybe he's just a brat, or maybe he has something else going on that you are not aware of.

I can tell you that there will always be "that" kid. Moving your son to another daycare is not going to solve your problem, nor will it help to move him when he's in school with another student you don't approve of or a teacher that you don't like.

It's likely that your son will not continue to do his negative behavior if it's handled properly. Kids always will try out new behaviors that they see other kids doing. If it doesn't get them the effect that they want they stop.

From my experience there is always "that one kid" in the class that is a problem. Due to moving DD has changed daycare 3 times and in every class (including her current) there it at least one, sometimes two kids who misbehave.
I made a point of teaching DD that these kids need her help. She knows to report when these kids act out, but she also know that they are still learning how to play nice and we also teach her to use her words to help these kids and show them how to play nice.
Not once has my DD thought it was ok for her to act out just because others do... I don't believe in "monkey see, monkey do". I think it;s important to teach our kids what type of behavior WE accept in our families and what is unacceptable no matter what others may practice or how they act.

I would suggest that if you otherwise like the place, you should teach your son that just because "that kid" acts out, it is not ok for him to act that way.
Good luck.

Quit blaming Jack for your son's behavior and quit teaching your son to blame others for his behavior.

If your son copies someone else, that's your son's fault. It is none of your business what Jack is or isn't doing. Your only concern is what YOUR son i doing or not doing. When you are discussing these issues with him, DO NOT allow him to talk about Jack. He can ONLY talk about himself and HIS behavior.

Make your son accept personal responsibilities for his actions. It will serve him well in the future. Blaming others will become a habit and throughout his life he will be the "victim" of the world. Not a pleasant person to be around.

Depends how you feel about the way his daycare teachers are handling this. There has been two different times when there were troubles with another child in my son's daycare class. I chose not to take him away as I knew the teachers were strictly and appropriately handling the situation...

it depends on whether the daycare providers are handling it. they should be disciplining the other child, they should be disciplining your child when he does the same behaviors. you should, too. yes, it's "monkey see, monkey do," BUT kids learn. they're not stupid. kids know what is ok and what is not. it's all part of the "raising" process. if he hadn't picked it up from this kid, chances are good he'd have caught it from somewhere else. so it comes down to, do you trust that the daycare providers are treating it correctly. do you think they're being lazy and not addressing it? because as the ladies have stated, there will always be kids who act like this. there will always (as you will find as your child gets older) be parents who just don't parent. and our kids, and WE, have to deal with that. but if you are raising him right and teaching him how to act, he will get past the mimicking thing. once he sees what that behavior gets him. he's a smart little guy, give him some credit. good luck!

Talk to the teacher and if necessary the director too. While they can't discuss specifics regarding another child they should be able to let you know that the behavior that is having a negative affect on your son is being addressed. There is always going to be "that kid" that you don't want your kid to mimick, and that is exactly "THE" kid that your child will mimick. It is a fact of life. Just continue to be clear to your son what is acceptable behavior and what isn't. You can't correct the other child but you can correct (punish if necessary) your own child to instill good behavior. Your son tells you how bad Jack is so he knows not to behave like that.

I think there is always one bad seed. I tell my kids that they are to behave in a way that my husband and I find acceptable whether we are around or not. They follow our home rules no matter where we are.

My kids are all in elementary now, and they all use a color system for behavior. My kids know I don't care what anyone else does, my concern is what they do. Just because Jack hit, doesn't mean that you can hit. Or just because Jack spoke out of turn, doesn't mean you can. I expect good behavior from them and not bad behavior.

With that being said, there is a lot of difference between a 2 and 5 year old. Your son may be picking these behaviors up, and he may just be at that age. Sadly, none of our children are angels 100% of the time. So you and the daycare providers need to be handling the consequences the same way at this point. Hitting = 2 minute time out at home AND daycare.

I would also ask why the 4 year old is with your 2 year old. I would not be okay with that.