Okay, I feel stupid posting this, as I have responded to many of these, but I know that it is easier to see it from outside.
Yesterday, when I went to pick up my daughter from daycare (almost 5mo), she was laughing with her daycare teacher. Oh, I was so jealous!! My daughter is not a big laugher. She smiles with her eyes and opens her mouth in a silent laugh most times. If you were away from her, you would think she is laughing out loud, but she isn't. Her laugh is pretty rare and her teacher was making her laugh for a good 5 minutes. Of course, I tried to continue it, but it had passed and I got nothing but the silent laugh. I tried all last night, and then felt like I was trying to hard and trying to force it.
I know that my daughter loves me, but I hate that someone else can get her to laugh when I can't. The few times that we have gotten her to laugh at home, they are short and we drop everything to hear it. I don't remember this with my son, I think he was an easier laugher, so it wasn't an issue.
Has anyone else experienced this? I think I just need some kind words to feel better about myself as a mom that can't make her daughter laugh.
Thank you everyone for your kind words. I am actually thrilled that both of my children are in such capable and loving hands, and know that I am so lucky. This is my son's 3rd daycare, so I know what the other side looks like. I don't resent her teacher at all, and have asked her about the various songs, etc that she uses, but they just don't have the same affect from me. She is such a good care taker that we use her as a babysitter too. She is the first babysitter we have had that I don't even worry about the kids when we are gone, and we can actually go out, which we never did before. I know that there are more smiles and laughs around the corner, but it helped to have someone else say it, and to know that there are others out there that aren't belly laugher all the time either. You see so much on the internet and TV, you think that something is wrong if yours isn't laughing just as hard. But, she is a very happy baby and I will continue to appreciate her smiles and silent laughs for now.
Don't worry, she'll start laughing at you soon enough. Allow the tears to come when one day you go and pick her up and she runs to grab the daycare providers leg because she would rather stay there than to come home with you. (for me, that was more painful). But, on the good side, you know have confirmation that she is taken care of.
You're mommy - you are the most special person in her life. Her teacher is a caretaker and someone she trusts. So if they had a nice day bonding, that's a great thing. Better to establish a great bond than none at all.
She is only 5 months. There is so much laughing to come. By you, your family and teachers and even strangers.
These feelings will pass. Just know that she is happy where she is and that you made a great choice to bring her to loving people.
But aren't you SOOOOOOOOOO pleased that your baby is spending XX hours a week with someone like the teacher, she's got the goods!!
Awww, Mom, we've all been there, all THREE my kids were pretty much speakin' phrases before they finally said MOM, and yes, I tried to coach them to say MOM, but they said DAD, BALL, BABA, DOG, and so on!
It's good that she's being well taken care of while you're away. But as a previous poster has stated... Mom is and always will be #1. There are days that my son (now 2) doesn't want anything to do with me, but if he is sad, hurts himself, isn't feeling 100%... Who does he want? Me... The MOM! Same with my now 7yr old daughter. Even though she's laughing and having a good time, you are her provider, her comfort, her unconditional love and support.... You are mom. You will be supermom until she reaches about 10yrs old or so. : )
The time will come when she laughs easily for you. Feel blessed that she is so happy and content in her daycare environment ( I worked several years for La Petite Academy in the toddler rooms) Daycare workers are not there to steal your affection = ) I know in your heart that you would rather her be happy then miserable...trust me, she will always want her momma no matter how wonderful the people who work at the daycare are! Absolutely the most important person in your daughters life is her momma, and no one loves her better than you...
My son has a serious face, and I felt like you did when he was a baby and stared me straight in the face and nothing! It took my eldest son one day to get the tickles going in him - and it was so odd to hear him laugh, we ran to video tape it. Ever since, I was just happy to know that it was just his personality and only some people or things will make him belly laugh. What I found out is that he enjoys silly jokes (ex: me walking and pretending his diaper is stinky-that cracks him up) versus tickling him. So his teacher makes him laugh, he may be laughing at her instead of her jokes. Some kids laugh at stuff, and others make you laugh. You will find what makes your baby laugh vs smile in time. Keep trying and just appreciate that she does have the laugh inside of her..
I heard once that "The more jealous you are of your child's relationship with their care provider, the better." Now, this is a little exaggeration but the right meaning is there. If you are jealous of the relationship, it means your child is bonding to their provider....and that is a GOOD thing! You want your child to be loved and cared for and happy and held throughout the day. If you are not able to be the person there during the day, you want to find the best substitute that you can. And if they are good, you will probably be jealous. Your daughter will not love you any less than she would if you were with her 24/7. She will simply have MORE people in her life that love her and care for her. That is WONDERFUL!
I have been on both sides of this fence. I worked full-time outside the home for the first two years of my older son's life. I had a GREAT care provider his first year and he really LOVED her! Yes, I was jealous at times...but I knew she loved him and would do anything for him. That was the most important part for me. When he was about 2.5 yrs I opened my in-home daycare (in part to spend more time with him) and I have had several children from about 10 wks on. I love them and care for them as I do my own children. I want to be the best substitute for the parents that I can be.
Try not to worry. It is a good thing! You have found a good person to care for your little one. Take comfort in that. And spend your time at home cuddling and loving and playing with your daughter. She will laugh. She already loves you above anyone else. Really. :o)
I would suggest that you talk to the teacher and ask her what she does that makes your child laugh. Instead of resenting the information that she has about your daughter... utilize it and work together.
I totally understand where you are coming from! My kids are not in daycare but I have experienced this with my youngest. Basically my sister in law (whom I really am not that crazy about) can make my daughter laugh on command! It drives me crazy!!! Needless to say, I cannot do it like she can and it kills me that I don't even like her. I finally came to the conclusion that my daughter is happy and how great that there is someone out there besides me that can give her comfort. Thank God for you it is your care provider. Imagine if this woman couldn't make your baby happy and every day you had to leave your baby with her. I think you feelings are normal but just look at the good side of it, your baby loves you, and you are lucky enough to find someone else to care for her that she responds to when you are not there.
As mothers I think we get the short end of the stick a lot. Don't take it personal, consider yourself lucky in such a great find in a daycare!
You are her mom she may see you as a comforter, a hugger, a kisser, not as a silly goose. Your day care provider probably has the opportunity to be silly on a regular basis and your LO sees her as more of a silly clown. Also just like adults her sense of humor may be different than you son's and she may laugh at different things that strike her funny at the time. Most comedians will tell you timing is everything, she may have just been in a light hearted mood at that moment. I have a serious daughter so I understand, grandma seems to be a lot better at getting the giggles out than me, that is just the way it is. You are a wonderful mom that has provided a daycare that makes your child happy while you are away! Rejoice she is in capable hands while you are unable to be there!
