Daughter and Monster Issues - Really Need Your Help!!!

Hi M.,
We tried 2 things that really worked. First, we bought a small lamp and put a night light bulb in it, set on a timer. We told her that it was sleeping time while her light was on.

The big help was "attaching" her room to her big brother's room. We used the alphabet foam squares (different colors, all interlock together). We let the kids form a path between the two bedrooms and let them sleep with their doors opened.

Good luck!
C. M

my son had the same fears I also tried monster spray,and everything else I could think of...And finally I told him that monsters cant come into our house b/c we have dogs,and it worked :o) Dogs have these special tags that jingle and monsters are afraid of the noise.. And they wont come into our house even when the dogs are outside b/c of the special tags that keep monsters out...lol..
I hope that my idea will help

When both of my sons were about that age we had a problem with monsters too. I took an empty spray bottle and told them to spray around the room and any where they thought might be monsters. They did not seem to question that it did not have anything coming out of it, but I guess you could put water in it if that is important. It really worked because it gave them control over what was scaring them. They always slept with the bottle next to them in case they felt they needed it again.

With my niece (she loved Sesame Street), we explained Elmo and Zoe and all the characters were monsters, and there were no scary monsters! Sounds crazy, but that is all she needed to have her stop. We also bought a floating fish nightlight at wal-mart for 5$$ and put another regular one across the room. So it is bright, but not as bright as it would be to have the light on (and less electricity). The fishes also distract her until she falls asleep.
I would try hard to avoid having her come to bed with you. It becomes a looong habit, and will probably keep up the "monster issues" just to get into bed with you...

I've read that acknowleging the fear is good. We let our 3 year old name his monsters (fred is one) and when he says he is scared we take him up to his room, turn all the lights on and look in every corner - closet etc. so he can see they are not there and he says "ok time to go Fred! Get out!"

I read it allows them to feel in control of the situation which kids of that age are continually trying to do.

This has worked for him. Good luck!

How about putting a mattress on the floor in your room? I know it can be a drag but maybe she's just a little bit insecure and that would do the trick. And it's not like she's going to sleep there forever...maybe just a few months, the time for her to feel more secure and then you could go shopping for wonderful brand new bedding for her own room?! I know there is a lot of people out there who think that having her sleep in your room would be giving in but I don't and if that can make her a more confident little girl I feel the sacrifice of your intimacy for a few months is worth it. They are little for such a short time...
Good luck!
Genie

Hi M.,

The video "Goodnight Moon" contains sleepy time stories and music along with real children telling about their bedtime routines. One little boy says that there's no such thing as monsters.

I'd go with a nightlight. I wonder if flashlights could start a fire. LED flashlights are the hottest. Tungsten ones can get pretty warm. Put either one under blankets and the heat could build up. I imagine that shake (Faraday) flashlights may be the coolest.

I told my children that thinking there are monsters is our brains' way of protecting us. When people used to live out in the wild, there really were "monsters," otherwise known as lions and tigers and bears (Oh my!), etc. So it's part of our survival instinct. The two of you could take a flashlight and peer into all the dark corners and under the bed to search for anything that shouldn't be there. Make sure the doors to the house are locked - it keeps out the human monsters, I wouldn't tell her that though. (Or skip this step if you think she'll obsess about checking the locks. That might start another fear.) And then declare the house safe for a sweet night's sleep.

Before going to bed your daughter could say a thank you to her brain for keeping her safe and tell her brain that all is well.

Zzzzzzzzzz,
: ) Maureen

One thing I always worked on was telling my son over and over that there is no such thing as monsters. What he sees on tv is not real it is all make believe and just fun stories. That seems to help but definitely does not just work. I put a night light in the bedroom so he can see the room clearly at night and I also told him that when I built the house (and I live in an apartment and it worked) that in the walls I put in a monster force field so no monsters can ever get in. Some how this worked. Good Luck

Our sitter taught my 3 1/2 year old daughter to blow kisses at the "scaries" when she "sees" them in her room and it works great!! I love that it's something she can do on her own without needing us to get out of bed!

other than moving and leaving the monsters behind... if rthe monster spray isn't working try some monster dust aka baking soda or carpet freshner :) air freshner worked for our crocodile issue:) other than that tell her the monsters in your room are bigger...

Hi there,
I did go through something similar when my olderst daughter was about this age. I tried to tell her that there was no such thing, but at that age the imagination is so much larger than rational. So I spoke with my child psych. teacher and she suggested monster spray. Well I did try it and we never had another proplem with monisters. All I used was an old hairspray bottle that was cleaned, filled with water and was decorated. It gave her the power to get rid of them her self.
Good luck...

The only thing I can think of is if you let her sleep with the light on.

Some people say that using protective sprays and protective stuffed animals reinforces the idea that monsters are real. Perhaps just being adament that monsters are only on TV and in her imagination. Or you could start having her say her prayers to her guardian angel that will keep her safe. I used to be afraid of monsters in the 2nd grade after I saw gremlins. It was really frightening and I still am sort of afraid of flushing the toilet at night because it is so loud. I think you just have to not give in. I think I was afraid of monsters all through elementary school, but it did help that I had my twin sister in the same room?? You could get her a dog...

M., I'm so sorry about your daughters fears. I'm sure they are tough on both of you. My mom tells a story about my brother and I having a fear of ghosts in our rooms. she brought the kitchen broom into our rooms and beat all the corners and in the closet then swept it all out the door, all the time yelling "get out of my house, you aren't allowed to scare my kids!" worked like a charm, whenever we thought we saw a ghost she'd tell us" oh no, I kicked them all out, remember?" So, when my daughters went through the ghost phase I told them Grammy was famous for getting rid of them and she came over and swept out their ghosts. They've never complained again!! I don't know if it will work for you, but you could try. There also is no harm in letting her sleep with the lights on for a while... Hope you can get some sleep soon! --A.

My daughter has a sign on her door that says No Monsters Allowed. The monsters know how to read and don't come in.
You could also try giving her a flashlight so she could light up any scary shaddows...although that could become a toy that keeps her up. Curious George has an episode where he learns that scary shaddows are just common items in his room.
Good luck,
J.