Date Night

We've been out probably 4 times in 3 year! i know that sounds very little compared to others but that's only till about 8pm as well :(

We try to have a date night "in" once a week. It's not anything big, just a time when we spend time together watching TV, cooking together, etc. It's been kind of nice and economical

We have a formal date night maybe every 3 months. But we do something more important. We connect every day.

After the kids have gone to bed, we stay up (even if we're tired) and just hang out. We may share a TV show, talk about work, vent about extended family, or laugh about the kids antics that day. One of our favorite days is Monday because we pop popcorn and get excited about "24" together.

It is nothing that costs any money, but at the end of every day, we have shared something and are in touch with each other.

We don't get out at night that often, maybe twice a month? If that. But, we work close to one another so we meet for lunch at least twice a week. It's nice and we can catch up for about an hour - kid free!

We don't get out without kids once a month - no family nearby, and we enjoy socializing with friends who also have kids, and my kids are old enough that our evenings are also full of sports and school activities. We probably go on a "date" every 3 months or so.

But we don't have no time alone, like when we had a baby in the house. We have lunch during the work day every so often, maybe once a month (we both work), and our kids are frequently both away at the same time at a playdate or party. So it's not like we don't have time for private conversation. The budget just can't take too many $10/hour + cost of movie and concessions movie nights, if you know what I mean!

I agree with Cari's post, about connecting with your hubby everyday. My husband & I do the same thing, each night set aside time for just the two of us, because really even when we first moved in together, we didn't spend much time going out. We spent time at home and doing fun things. I would like to get out once a month with hubby, but due to no family available to watch our little one & babysitting fee's too expensive, thats just not happening. I would love to find other parents with kids in the same age range that would like to do co-op babysitting. Seems like a great idea & I wonder why that is so difficult to find?? Seems everyone is in the same boat!

I think it's important to remember that you don't need to leave home to have a date night! My husband and I truely enjoy putting the kids to bed a little early, picking up sushi from our favorite restaurant and having sushi and saki martini's by the fireplace (in the winter)it's an inexpensive way to have private time together witout spending a lot of money and hiring a sitter.

I don't think you can have a set schedule on how often you need to get out together, it really depends on what you have going on.

We've also started a dinner party club where every other month a group gets together at someones home. Everyone brings a heavy appetizer and a bottle of wine. It's basically a pot luck dinner. Lots of fun and everyone invites new people and everyone gets to meet new friends and get out for a very inexpensive fun night out!

My husband and I have been out twice in the last year. We'd like to go out more often, but we just can't afford a night out plus the extra money for the babysitter. The last time we went out in January or February, we ended up spending like $150 between the extra pay for our nanny for the evening and our dinner (even though we went to a small italian place in rogers park and thought it would be cheaper...). When we still were making more money before this whole economic crisis, we did try for once a month or at least once every 2-3 months...

Hi M.. We used to only go out when we had something planned (like a wedding, etc) but now we go out at least every other week end. I love it! A lot of times we just wait until the last minute to figure out what we are going to do.... even if we just go for a walk by the lake. I'll get babysitters, but I also started swapping with a friend. It's nice because it doesn't cost anything! She brings her kids over (usually from 4:00 - 8:00pm) the kids play and then I do the same for her. I also found a 15 year old girl down the street who will play with the kids in the backyard for a couple hours while we grab a bite to eat. You should do it! You only live once and you will not regret it!

Hi M.,
I think it depends on how much help you have in the area. My husband and I are blessed to have both sets of our parents nearby who LOVE to babysit out kids. We have a 2 year old and an infant. We go out a lot! At least every other week, but sometimes every weekend we do a dinner or a movie or something. It's so great. I'm a SAHM, and I miss adult conversation, and I really miss my husband! Even though I see him every day and snuggle next to him at night, being alone with him without being "on call" for the kids is so nice. It keeps us sane. I realize that our situation is unusual to have so much free babysitting available, but I wish you the best in being able to have some free time with your hubby!

We aim for once a week. When my kids were little they were always sick and our doctor was the one who told us to get out every week if possible. If we don't feel like going out we just go and have a beer somewhere and bring fast food home. Since I work form home sometimes I just need to get away from the house for a short time.

M. D.

Hi,

I just wanted to tell you that my husband and I go out once a month, and that is our bowling league night. We drop the kids off at my in-laws for a sleepover, my husband and I go for a nice dinner, then we go bowling, it's fun for us were on a league with close family and friends, we eat, drink and are out late (with no kids).

hope this helps

Once a month is good, but anything else would be a little ambitious. My husband and I haven't been out once since our 8 month old was born because of our work schedules, etc. But you must make time.

Just so you get a good sample from all kinds...

My hubby and I probably only get out without the kids once or twice a year....sometimes less. Not that I wouldn't like to get out more, but money and babysitters are an issue.

Hi M., welcome to the parenthood! My husband and I do everything with our children. We each have a son from a previous relationship and two daughters together. We have only been away from our children overnight for 4 days on our honeymoon. And When our girls were born. We have been married 7 years. We did have an opportunity to go to a friends wedding and have the kids all stay at Gpas house. However, me being the mom, I went over to gpas house to sleep so I could wake with them in the morning. As far as date nights go......the only time we are able to get away is when Grandpa takes them for us. We usually go see a movie or go to dinner,,,,,not usually both. When they were younger about your kids ages, we only went out about every other month or so. As the kids get older though, it is easier to work in date nights. Our kids are 10, 8, 6, 5. They are easier to leave with grandpa or sitters now. And yet, my husband and I don't go out alot. We usually like to just stay in and watch a movie at home in the peace and quiet of our own home. That is a treat since we don't have much quiet time around here any more unless all of the kids are sleeping.... hope you are able to make time for each other! Good luck!

My husband and I go out at least every 2 weeks. With kids involved with sports, we are usually passing each other during the week, so no time to talk, let alone spend quality time with each other. Kids are most important... your husband will understand what comes first, but keeping your marriage happy, keeps the home happy.

We don't get out much. Every few months, we'll leave the kids with their grandparents and get out for a matinee movie and some lunch. That's about the extent of it. We do make sure to go out for an expensive dinner near our anniversary though.