My husband will be laid off in the next couple weeks, so I will be looking for a temporary job next week. I may have to work full time, depending on how much I can make per hour. My husband wants to prove he can be a great stay at home dad, but I have my doubts. I understand he has a differant way of parenting, like most dads, but I am concerned about what crazy mess I will come home to. I can just see my daughter running around in a cold house in her diapers and a dirty t-shirt spilling juice all over the house and other such nonsense. I am curious to see if he really can do a better job than me (or as good at best.) Do I really want to work all day to come home to a bunch of problems that need MOM! Or, should I take her to daycare for a month. I think we can afford it...=D LOL. Any suggestions? Can I take her with me to work? She's 18 months old and getting more lively each day!
Well, he got another job with a company he was with before, so we are all enjoying a couple weeks as a family. I think I will choose him over daycare when I do go to school or work again. Thank you so much for the advice. I have more confidence in him now.
If you can let go of the idea that only YOU know the "right" way to do things, Dad is overwhelmingly the best choice.
IT might be a good time for your husband and daughter to spend time together. IF you come home to a mess, tell him he's in charge of the house now while you are out working and its his responsibility to take care of the mess. It also might be a good because he will realize its really not that easy to take care of an 18 month old and still get stuff done around the house.
Hay give dad a chance you might be surprize.
If worried about the house being a mess that can always
be cleaned. Just think of the bonding they can have.
I being a mom of three boys, i understand your concerns.
Just throw caution to the wind and dont worry so much.
You would be surprize how far a little trust and a big prayer
Will get you. Good Luck
I think it's a great opportunity for your daughter and her father to really bond and grow closer. He'll never be a great father if you don't even allow him to try.
I would suggest sitting down and setting some expectations/goals together. What do you expect of him, what does he expect of you, what you both expect in regards to you daughter. I think by noting that you understand he has a different way of parenting is a step in the right direction. He might not do things the way you do them, but it doesn't make them wrong.
I say give him a chance to prove that he can do it.
I think it would be a great time for you to learn to let go and let daddy have a chance. I have a very good friend that is a stay at home dad and he loves it. You aren't paying someone else to raise your child, and you get the added benefit of watching your husband really BE a dad. At first you will come home to fine things done "wrong" but in time daddy will get his own way and everything will be fine. Give him a chance and let go of some control and let your hubby spend time with your daughter...it WILL be ok.
C.- In my opinion..If you daughter usually goes to a facility I would not change her schedule for temporary...it is so hard on children to re-adjust to situations especially at her age. My children are older (7 & 4) and they sometimes stay home with my husband when he's not working (works a crazy shift work job) and it doesn't mess with them too bad but, if he's only going to be home temporarily I wouldn't...If child care is something you usually don't do then yes! Give your husband a shot at it and leave him a cleaning list too!
As far as taking her to work with you again, just my opinion..no
Although it would be fun (not really) for you. She would be bored and not getting anything developmentally out of it. Good luck to you!H.
hey give him a chance make a list of what you do every day or for the week on top of taking care of the kids see if he able to do it all if nothing eles he will love you more for all you do mine did
I gotta vote for Daddy! We live in a time like no other--when men will help us out with child rearing and (sometimes) house cleaning. I've had to lower some of my standards when daddy does the "mommy" jobs, but it's worth it for the kids. Leaving a check-off list for daddy to accomplish each day will help alleviate your fears. Good luck!
Our worst fears seldom happen in reality. What a GREAT opportunity for your husband and daughter to grow closer together! My husband usually does worse when I'm around, but as soon as I'm completely out of the house, he steps up to the plate and does wonderfully!
Hi C. ~
My husband was laid off back in July and has been home for the last six months. Normally I work from home, but with him being home I was able to work outside of the house for a few months - which I enjoy and miss at times. I too was worried about him being at home and all the things that would not be kept up to my standards. My husband also use to work long days anywhere from 10 to 12 hours and so the kids were lucky if they saw him for 2 or 3 hours out of the day. And even when he was home they mostly wanted me, which didn't make him feel all that great :(
Anyway, long story short he was home everyday with them for two out of the six months and now he and the kids are inseperable (sp?) They LOVE having daddy home! Sure the house wasn't as clean as it normally was, but the kids were having a blast and DH was forming a bond with them, that they didn't have prior to that!
The layoff has hurt us financially, this is our lowest point in 10 years together, but my DH told me right before Christmas that he has NEVER been happier! He LOVES being home with kids and he even cleans and changes diapers now!
We SAHM's work very hard and take pride in what we do at home and so to turn the reigns over to someone else...someone who most likely will not be able to do as good a job as us...is incredibly hard to do! But if you can find it in you to over look a mess here or their and cut your man some slack - it was bless your family!
And you can always help him out a bit too. Try little things like laying out DD's close the night before. Or if you can afford daycare, why not use that money instead to hire weekly or bi-weekly cleaning help?
It sure sounds like you have a GREAT DH and your little one is blessed to have a dad like that. I know plenty of men who would not want to stay home with their kids ALL day. I say let them play and have fun and then join in with them when you get home!
M.
i agree with other posts, it may be a great time for daddy and daughter bonding. and for him to see what you do all day. that you dont' eat bon bons all day..lol
but i totally hear you about the mess you might come home to. because i do when i'm gone for a while..
BUT... i would say hey listen,,when you were working did you have to come home and do dishes or pick up spilled cups or change our daughter out of a messy outfit? no.. so i'm going to trust and believe you will give me the same as i have given you,, after working all day and want to come home and rebond with my daughter and not have to deal with a house or mess.
when my husbanb comes home,, i let him take over and i get a break. that's his time to be with the kids. i can't imagine only getting 2 or so hours a day with my children as most working dads get. but.. when i'm gone on a weekend day or something for a good half day,, i get frustrated when i come back and it's a total mess. dishes, laundry etc. nothing done. i do expect him to help on weekends.. which is getting more communicated. sorry off track..lol lol
i would do the daddy thing :-))
I think its awesome that your husband is even wanting to watch your daughter. You should be very thankful for that:-) There's alot of dads out there who wont help out at all. Of course, everything is going to be different with him watching her and not everything is going to be done like you want it too, but I say let him try. This will be an great bonding experience for the both of them. And then.....dont worry about it while you're at work:-))
I think it would be a wonderful experience to have him take care of your daughter. Of course he won't be able to do it the same as you, but just like you he will figure it out. Sometimes that is half the fun!!! When I had our second child he brought our son to the hospital in size 18months clothes, he was 3, my son was wearing daisy dukes. The point is I will never forget that, and he had a whole new appreciation for everything I do by the time I got home. Also, if he is gone usually 12 hours a day this will allow them time to bond and strengthen their relationship.
