OK so until our home sells , I will be living in the town we both agreed to live in and my daughter will go to school there and my ex will live about 35-40 min away so I mentioned that it would make more sense for the school year or until the house sold that he gets her weekends and I get her weekdays since he wouldn't be able to take her to school. He replies back that its unfair that I;d get 2 sleep in days and all that free time, and he;d have no free time. ???!! did he not just read that I'd have her from sun night-friday night at 7pm?? so he'd only have her 36-48 hours.??? So his solution is to have her for dinners wed nights and to get her sat later afternoon/night until sunday night??? I always thought he wanted to be more involed?? this seems like such an odd thing, to fight over sleep in days instead of having your kid?
Am i being unrealstic to think hed have her weekdns....don't get me wrong I;ll be more than happy taking her more days, heck I'd like to do full time, but I also want her dad in her life....He doesnt take into account all of the sleep I lose by having to get our daughter up for school, dresses, fed, and drive her to before care each day? but seriously who cares about sleeping in as much as their kid?
Sounds like he heard "mom would have weekends free" and wants that for himself. I would go with what he wants, the less he has her the more you get her.
On the other hand, you might want her some weekends to do things without it being a school day/night.
Go for his schedule request. That way you get to see her more. His loss....
Your plan makes perfect, logical sense. Perfect, logical sense has no place in a divorce situation. Can't explain why.
I would counter to him that you still keep her during the weekdays and go with him having her from Saturday evening to dropping her off to school on Monday. That way he will realize quickly that the Saturday sleep in is not worth the scrambling Monday to get her to school. :)
You could also go with he picks her up Friday from school and drops her off Saturday night. The only problem with that is he will never realize how hard it is to get a kid ready for school while you are getting ready for work. O well.... or every other weekend.
In the end, leave the weekdays alone. My kids would give anything to be with one parent all week.
why not try 2 dinner visits during the week and every other weekend? my ex and i have this arrangement and it has worked for the last 10 years. both parents should be involved equally, you both created her and she didnt ask to be going through this. and i dont think 35-40 min away is such a distance. make it work for your child!
Don't fight more. Say yes, let's try it. Then see how your daughter responds to it. If she needs more of him, ask for more then. You're divorcing him, yes? That's sad and hard enough for everyone, I think, don't keep fighting.
Did you find a rental? I saw another sign this weekend--message M. if you're interested.
It is a bit much to make him have the child every single weekend. If he works during the week then he has no time for himself. I'm divorced and my ex has the kids every other weekend and every other holiday. Maybe offer him every wed nite and every other weekend. The child support will make up for the time. This is a perfect example of when you draw up the parenting plan that you make it very specific and put time on it also for drop off and pick up. Once its filed with the court its very hard to have it changed. Good luck.
I hate to say it, but I think this is why most parents do every other weekend, not every weekend. Why not do dinner every Wednesday night and then overnights every other weekend? That's the "normal" visitation schedule anyway.
He seems to have mixed priorities and putting himself before y'alls daughter, a child should be more important than sleeping in late. Does she usually get up crazy early? I would ask him how she would go to school if he got her on the weekday. Ask if he would rather get her friday night after school and you'll pick her up or he drop her off Saturday so he can sleep in Sunday... that is strange. He has to think about HER best interest, which is school. Remind him that if he got her on a weekday he wouldn't be sleeping in, he'd have to wake up to drive her almost an hour to school. Maybe he would rather a mid-week play date with no sleepover and the friday night through saturday evening. I don't get where he's getting the sleep in part from, was he one of those guys that wondered what you did all day when she was a baby lol?
Sleeping in isn't the issue.
You both need to consider what's best for your daughter.
I'm assuming he works M-F, and that "would" mean he has NO days to sleep in.
What's wrong with dinner Tuesday or Weds and getting her from noon Sat thru Sun night (not late--school night)?
If you try to put yourself in his place, every weekend is a lot. He's right that he wouldn't have any "sleep in" or "go out" time, EVER. Most divorced parents split the weekends, for this reason. It is a pretty common arrangement to have one weekday evening, and then every other weekend. Or, as he is suggesting, start the weekend later or end it earlier. It's not that he doesn't want time with his child, it's that he is envisioning that schedule, with every weekday and every weekend day booked, and seeing the difficulty in it.
My ex and I exchange our daughter on Sunday afternoon, that way we each get a short break on the weekend that we are "on".
