Curious...who Buys Your Mil's Gifts?

i shop for everybody. i don't really know my MIL so I usually go in with someone for a gift for her, and that someone else chooses the gift.
if it were me, i'd buy her some kindness and some loving genes :)

ME! And my step-father-in-law's gifts, FIL & step-MIL, Granny-IL, all the various siblings-IL (6) & their spouses, & their children's gifts too! And my husband wonders what I do all the time??? Shop for gifts for his family, CARDS for his family, and wrap them all beautifully. We've had this discussion - evidently, I'm the better gift buyer - ok, I'll accept that. :)

My husband and his older sister usually get together and decide on something "big" for my MIL - however, when it comes to all of his siblings birthdays and christmas presents - it's all me :oP

My wife usually buys the gifts. I work and supply the funds. Sometimes I buy the gifts. But my wife picks up on the hints I completely miss and so usually knows more about what to buy.

However I always ask my wife for hints/ideas on what she would like for her occasions (Birthday, Christmas, etc.) and now she knows I seldom understand hints, but I do recognize suggestions.

This happened to me:
My wife's family has always done stockings for Christmas. "Santa" fills them. We married in July and shortly after we got back from our honeymoon, my wife bought some fabric and began to make a Christmas stocking. She showed me her Christmas stocking and told me lots of stories about Christmas stockings and her family and that her mother made each of the kids in her family and her father a Christmas stocking.

Christmas arrived and I had several things under the tree for her. My stocking was filled to over flowing. Her stocking was sitting just where she had put it the night before, just as flat and pretty and empty as when she put it there. I completely missed the point of the stories she told. They were just nice family stories to me. That was the ONLY Christmas her stocking had nothing in it.

Good luck to you and yours.

my husband and i pick gifts out as a team and it's always from "us"..he may have something special he wants to get her or his dad but it's still always from us.

you made vows to love and cherish your HUSBAND that did not include vows for gifts...your choice

I buy all of the gifts. Sometimes my husband doesn't even see what we bought until the person opens it :) Most times when it's something for his side of the family I run it by him to make sure he thinks they will like it.

Once in a great while I'll tell my husband to pick something up for his dad but not always. The rest of the time all gift buying is all me.

One year for Mothers Day, I took our wedding picture with a newborn pic of each of our two children put the date of our wedding on our pic and the date of births on the children pics. In a frame with 3 openings. Then I did the same for his two brothers who happen to be married with 2 kids also. She cried after she opened the gift.....and her sisters called to tell me how thoughtful I am and how they wished they had a daughter in law like me. LOL

So yeah, I think its nice that I can give his mom the tearful moments she may have never had having 3 boys.

Well, for the first 13 years I would stress and agonize over what to buy MIL and FIL for Christmas wrap it up and get it shipped. I finally quit doing that. I now go online and order a steak package from Omaha steaks and they take care of shipping it too! Works great. I figured if DH was not going to step in and take care of presents for his parents I would make it easy on myself. Of course it took me 13 years to come to that conclusion.

Well.....usually we do until O. year I got an early jump on Christmas shopping and picked out several (what I considered to be) nice items for his mom. (He's a bit of a mama's boy). He kind of turned up his nose at hat I'd chosen so I took everything back and said "OK from now on--you've got yourself a job!" For the last few years, he & his mom have kind of made a "date" out of them going together & she picks out her own stuff!

I do all the purcashing for both sides of our families! It just works out best, my husband doesn't care and I buy better gifts than he would. HEHE!! He doesn't really like shopping and sometimes doesn't even have a clue what I bought the person until they open it (saw another poster said this too!). He does like to be involved with what we're getting for the kids birthdays/Christmas and I do run most presents by him...just in case :)

I did for about 25 years.. I now do not speak with her or my sister in law.. , so my husband picks out the gifts.. It is hit or miss. I also no longer remind him about his parents birthdays, anniversaries or anything else... My daughter tries to remind him...

Also since I am not the one scheduling the family events.. he now understands I WAS THE ONE keeping all of them organized for all of the holidays and events.. His mother and SIL can not plan an escape form a paper bag..

g.w. hi, i have a todally different situation than you. i cant stand MY mother in law/ and never buy HER anything!

My husband likes to shop for things for his family members; when it comes to his nieces, I'm usually consulted for ideas and then he gets what he likes. (They are at the age that they like to do the shopping themselves and love the birthday check Uncle sends!)

My husband suffers from that love for shopping and picking things out some women have. Unfortunately, I was born without that gene, so I love the giving, but really hate the shopping. :) So, he does his family, I do my family, we both gift our son and each other. Nice balance.

I always do it, unless it is a combined bigger gift from us and hubby's two sisters, then they usually just pick it out, wrap it, give it, and we send them a check and MIL our own card. So long as MIL is happy and the gift is thoughtful that is all that matters IMHO. Hubby is not the best at picking out gifts, so this is one of those things I just do better!

Oh, absolutely...I buy ALL the family gifts, not just my MIL's. If I didn't, they'd never get gifts because DH always forgets, lol.

Before we got married, I promised my husband that he would never have to purchase another gift ever again, with the exception of gifts for me that is. Sometimes he gives me input if it is for a member of his family, but generally, I pick it out, sometimes I run it by him, purchase and he signs the card just like your husband did.

I used to do it, but my MIL and I have issues so I no longer do it. I would continue to do it, if she would stop acting and telling everyone I am out to get her and I do "nothing for her " and am keeping the kids away. So now she sees what life is like when her darling son is left to his own accord.

yup. i do and the sad thing is. his moms birthday is the after mine. me 8-26 her 8-27. i purchase all the gifts and don't get the credit. which what ever i don't mind.

I didn't know that my vows included the very same thing as well as just being in constant with my MIL. I don't mind as well, as mine is wonderful too. But I don't think it is laziness, my husband never bought a present for his parents or called them unless he had a few spare moments. So his mom is extremely grateful that she gets calls from me and gets together with us because I make sure it happens. But, I came from a family that stays in contact, so this helps me keep it all going.

Hello
I do it for my MIL as well.. as for most of the family. I am just better at knowing what people like, hence I pick the gift out. However, there is a trade off, my husband does other things where family is concerned. So I don't care that he doesn't pick out gifts, in fact, it's best this way.. :) my husband doesn't always know what sizes people are or know what different age groups like..
Although, he is a GREAT shopper when it comes to other things.. such as when we needed a new computer. basically, we do what we are best at.. his is electronic purchases and mine is everything else..

I'm in the same boat as you.
= )

The only gifts my husband is responsible for at Christmas and birthdays are for his dad and his brother because I could not even try to imagine something they would want. And of course gifts for me :)

I am in charge of buying all of the gifts for everyone - doesn't matter who they are. The only person he buys for is me, and he does a very good job at that. He also goes with me and we buy for our kids together, and every once in a while, I can get him to go Christmas shopping with me, LOL - but for the most part, I am the gift buyer.

I do all of the shopping for everything in my house, My husband simply asks if there is enough fun money for what he wants to buy :). Otherwise, I think I'd go crazy. However, when it comes to his mom, he takes care of it.

I'm like you and it works nicely. On occasion I ask my husband for ideas or to pick something up, but I'm the proactive one. My sister-in-law, on the other hand, tells her husband to take care of his side of the family. As a result the kids always got checks, and extremely late. My sister-in-law drew a line in the sand and made us feel like her family was more important than ours.

I know it's unfair that the husband gets off the hook sometimes, but with a wife who is willing to blend families things just feel more loving.

I do.. I don't know if my husband even knows when I get them half the time, lol.. I get it, wrap it, and ship it, lol

It's the reverse for me, my husband does all the birthday cards for his side, just because he knows I won't get around to it. Funny thing, I am more into sentiments than he is, but he is routine about sending out cards. When I do bdays, I plan the parties and the big things. I have no problem doing the gifts for MIL when I get around to it though!

Ok this is wierd but I pick out the gift for his Mom but not for his Dad. I will pick it up the gift for his Dad, IF he tells me what to get though.

The only gifts my husband buys at all are for me. I buy all the birthday, Christmas,graduation, wedding, anniversary gifts for everyone on his side and mine. He does go with me to shop for the kids and on occassion he will tag along for someone else.:)

yup, same here! I had to laugh at luvmylife's answer b/c my husband has no clue either! He also doesn't know what we got until they open it! Somtimes I show him so he has a clue in case someone thanks him, but usually he knows now to just run with it! ;) Sometimes it annoys me but most of the time I just roll with it.

My husband shops for his side of the family, I do it for mine. Growing up, my mom did all the gift buying, etc. And my dad's wife currently does it. Yes, she is thoughtful, but I would be thrilled if either my dad bought me a gift or if it wasn't so obvious that it was her. I know that when he used to go on trips when I was little, we got little gifts, so he knows how, he just doesn't do it. My in-laws, I think, my MIL used to do all the gifts, then my FIL would write down the gifts, but she would actually purchase them, and now he does it all (she is unable to now).

My husband is very thoughtful and knows his family better than I do. He is a great gift-giver.

Nope my hubby is the same way.

Until last year, I've been doing it. I would find the gifts but then my husband always gave his approval or said he didn't think it was right. We worked together, I guess, but I did most of the legwork. I also worked very hard to make sure that we spent the same amounts on his parents and mine so that no one would ever feel slighted. But last year, I got the most recent of a series of cheap, last-minute, without-a-thought gifts from the in-laws, and I told my wonderful hubby that was it. I was tired of spending hours trying to find the perfect gift for people who obviously didn't give me the same (or even similar) thought, and gifts for his family are now his responsibility. He agreed (he has been embarrassed by the gifts they've given me the last couple of years, especially since they are quite wealthy and often give extravagant gifts to others). So far...well, it hasn't gone great. He forgot his father's birthday until the day of (he did remember to call), and I don't think my FIL ever got a gift. Oops. I don't know how long this will last, but at least for right now, he handles his family, only asking me occasional advice, and we work together on mine much as we did before.

I can't stand my mother in law so my husband buys her everything. I refuse to do it. The one time that I bought her something alittle expensive she looked at me and said "what did you buy this in the dollar store?" That was the last time that I EVER bought her something. I refuse to spend any money or time picking something out for her.

We actually both do.

There are certain things I have an eye for and know she will like and enjoy and then there are other things my husband knows best.

But I'm the one who buys all the cards, for all friends and relatives. I just have a knack of picking out the perfect card for the perfect occasion. All he does is sign them when I stick them in front of him!

Oh yeah, I do it all!!!! He foots the bill:) oh and signs the card!

Yes, I do this too for my hubby. Sometimes he comes up with the idea fro the gift but I still have to get it and wrap it. I think my hubby is a bit on the lazy side but mostly I think men just aren't into shopping. I know when he shops for me many times it is the last minute and he often gets help from his mother or sister. If you don't mind then just go with it. It is one thing I will let slide. Now to get my DH to pick up his own clothes is another matter...LOL!

We share the responsibility--usually buying presents online together or shopping together--but he's ultimately responsible for his family (remembering dates etc); I'm responsible for mine. In fact, most years we don't even use our joint money to buy gifts for the family--we each use our private accounts. It's the way things started 11 years ago and have continued ever since. Of course, I'm also the mom that refuses to be completely in charge of making every doctor's visit for our kids too. It's part of the uncompensated part of care work that women often do (whether they have a paid job of not), but that for a variety of political and personal reasons I won't do the gift buying/wrapping/appointment making for the entire family. Maybe if I enjoyed it I would, but I hate shopping so it's an unpleasant chore for me so I minimize how much I have to do.

This sounds like our house. lol I always do the shopping. hmmm... maybe I should have a talk with the hubby. ha!

Oh, I did this for the first few years of our marriage. Never again! It him being lazy no matter what excuse in the book he gives. There's nothing wrong with asking for ideas of what to get his family members but it should all be on him. We wives take care of everything. What else must be put upon our shoulders? My SIL did this for over 15 years and finally said no more to my brother. I told her amen! I told her for years to make him do it. It's ridiculous! Now I know when I get a birthday card or gift with my brother's name on it, it's really from HIM and his thought went into it. My SIL sent me a birthday gift in September for me. She signed only her name. My brother got me nothing, lol. I mean, it was nice of my SIL to do all of this but she has a family on her side to take care of. The least my brother could do is deal with his side, if only to ease his wife's burden. I feel the same way about my husband! IT IS NOT THE JOB OF THE WIFE TO BUY ALL THE GIFTS! We're suckered into it by guilt, obligation and in some cases deception.. "I don't know what to buy, where to buy it, how to wrap.. you wrap better...." *GACK*

K. B
mom to 5 including

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It does not matter who it is, if a gift is needed, or a card, or anything, I am the one to do it, or it does not get done :)

My husband expects me to buy everything for his mom. When I don't, because I have six kids, she doesn't need anything and lives far away, he gets really upset with me. I tell him, "She's your mom!" But he only gets madder. He doesn't buy me gifts, either. It's just not his thing. Oh well. I try to think months ahead of time of what she would like because she is so hard to buy for and it means so much to him that I do it. I'm glad your husband thanks you. You can be happy about that.

No different from you in my household. I'm not sure there's anything my husband buys - even if he needs a tool I go buy it! He hates shopping and I love to, so I'm fine with it.

I buy ALL the gifts for the grand parents, kids etc.
Only a woman can be thoughtful enough to remember everyone's b-day.
It's okay......this way no one is forgotten and they get better gifts
and you don't waste money on gifts no one can use. Lol.
Good for you. Chalk another one up for the ladies!

This is how it works in my family. Mother's day she gets flowers and birthday & Christmas she gets a gift. Usually the gift is a mesh of ideas from me, my boyfriend, and his sister. So my boyfriend does have a hand in it, although I am usually the one left to go get it (or like her birthday this year I had to run around to a billion stores to try to find it), wrap it, and pick out a card.
I have to say though that his family is weird about gifts. They will tell me what they are getting me for Christmas 4 months before December. There's no surprise in it at all.

I used to (and thought it was my job) - until I had a discussion with my husband that his Mother always forgets my Birthday - and she gave us dishtowels from Dollar General last year for Christmas. I don't mind that they were from Dollar General (I shop there too) - it's just the lack of thoughtfulness. I worked very hard to find her nice gifts, watches, cameras, meaningful picture frames filled with pictures of her grandchild. But - I don't even by the card anymore. I remind my husband that the holiday or birthday is coming up and it is up to him to do the shopping. For the last few occassions - he has totally forgotten after I reminded him and I have said nothing. In return - I get nothing from her - which is just what I expect. IE: her only grandchild had his first birthday in August. We had a small family party and she gave him a card. Over the last year - she has given her only grandchild 1 present - a set of onsies when he was 6 months old. I know it's not about the presents - but I do wish she would put a little thought into something.

I do all of the card and gift shopping for both sides of our families as well as whenever we are invited to a party. My husband is appreciative of it and knows that if I didn't do it, they would all get hand-scrawled notes with $20 in an envelop.

On the other hand, I don't take out the trash, empty the dishwasher, mow the lawn or shovel the snow- ever. It all evens out and we're okay with our roles. He hates Hallmark and I'm not a fan of the cold weather!

Ha! THAT is PART of your job, keeping his mother happy! He keeps her happy by still being her handsome boy that has a wondeful wife that will take care of him and make sure that he always looks good. She did the same thing for her husband that you do for her son and that is just as she wants it.

I do all the gift shopping. The only person he has to shop for is me when it comes to an anniversary or my birthday. I don't mind doing it. Sometimes I will ask him to get for his dad, but other then that....it's all me!

Believe me you are not the only one. I have not only purchased MIL gifts but every gift for everyone all of my 49 years of marriage. My husband is a wonderful, loving, kind, genernous and sentimental family man. However he has no clue about shopping. I love to shop so I don't mind doing it and I spend hours trying to find just the right thing for each individual person. I love doing for others and take great pleasure myself in seeing their faces light up with joy when they open their presents. My husband at Christmas time is a great help in the wrapping of the gifts so it all works out great!

God Bless,
D.