I don't focus on the number of gifts. My daughter's bday is 12/27 so I focus on keeping her day separated from Christmas.
We have had many parties and love to throw big parties.... some have been:
Party at the country club 3 total upwards of $2500 (no gifts) with DJ, catered dinner, dance floor, prizes, etc
Limo party where the limo picks up each guest at her home, takes them around town, go to local nice hotel at Shops of Legacy, have dinner, swim, late night room service and movies
Party at our house with DJ, magician, party games, catered.
This past year when she turned 16 she didn't want a party. She wanted to go see the Back Street Boys and NKOTB concert which was in June. SO, I managed to get front row seats for her and her friend, Allen limo (town car) provided transportation to and from the concert. I spent about $1000 on that and they had the time of their life!!
When she attends parties, our gifts are around $30-$50 depending on the friend or relative. Gift cards and money are a favorite, for the girls she knows well and knows what they like she might choose a Juicy Couture bracelet or charm.