So, for about 3 or 4 weeks, (my baby girl is 7 weeks old), the main places we take her when we take her out is to my parents house or to my husbands parents house. Now when she is taken to my parents house she rarely cries unless she is hungry uncomfortable or needs to be changed. She's all smiles and calm and she "plays" and is just a great baby, just like when she's at home. When we bring her to my husbands parents house, she cries for what seems like forever, it seems that no matter what you do you can't get her to stop crying. feeding her, changing her, playing with her, changing her position, bouncing/dancing around with her. Nothing works... I can get her to stop crying when I'm there but I'm not always there. To his parents it appears that she is always crying because she's always crying when she's with them....They think it's because of the formula (enfamil gentlease) and that she's gassy...but if it doesn't happen at home or at my parents house...I don't think that's it...We try to take her to see them at least once a week or they come here, but whenever they're around....if she's awake has been fed and changed it's like she's just not happy...
any suggestions or ideas to help figure it out or stop the crying when she's at their house??
So the last couple of times my husband has brought out daughter over to his parents house, she's been much better....maybe it was something in the air or something...thank you for all of your suggestions.
Evil in-law vibes? LOL! I don't know but maybe there is something they're doing that stresses her out. You don't have to see them once a week. Chill back if she's upset. Not worth it... I do not believe babies cry for no reason. They cry because they're upset and they don't have words to say what's wrong. I would not ignore it!
Maybe it's something about them that upsets her. Perfume, laundry detergent, pet hair/dander on their clothes, smoke (if they smoke).
Is it at all possible that she is getting more sleep at home/ your parents house than his? A 7 week old baby is usually only awake long enough to eat, get a diaper change, and then maybe 10 minutes. Then it is TIME for sleep. They grow when they sleep, and they grow more in the first 6 mos of life than ever. A baby staying awake for hours is equivalent to us staying awake all night into the next day! It's actually painful and irritating! and once a baby gets irritated because you dont understand the message that they want to lay to sleep(boucing, walking them, etc) - it is very hard to calm them down from a hyper state of excitement. So that is my guess, that the baby needs more sleep. As SOON as the child starts to cry after she has been up, fed, and diapered, lay her down in a darkened quiet room to sleep. All babies will typically cry until they fall asleep because they are still awake and they need sleep- its almost like they dont realize they have been put down to sleep- they are just reacting to their nervous system that they are still awake and tired.
Have them visit at your house instead. There is probably something about their environment that is disturbing her.
There may just be some environmental facator she doesn't like there. Maybe the lighting, the smell, etc.... When my daughter was an infant, she would cry every time we walked into the local Rite Aid pharmacy. As soon as the stroller got inside the store, it would be hysteria the whole time we were there and then she'd be happy as a clam as soon as we left. I have no idea what it was all about. Maybe the flourescent lighting, maybe some sound in there... I just have no idea.
My son had that too with a particular restaurant. He'd cry when we got there and would stop if we brought him outside.
Do they smoke or wear heavy perfume? Or have loud voices?
Maybe she's allergic to something at their house. Do they have pets?
I agree with the other posts... it has to be environmental... possibly an allergy? To Cats? New Carpet? Loud noises? A plant that blooms near them but not you? You'll have to experiment to find the cause... does she cry with them when they are at your house? It could also be that they tense up expecting her to cry and so she cries.
Babies are such a mystery. I could never figure out for the life of me why my son cried at some times, and not others.
Is there a common time you are visiting the parents? Is this her 'witching hour' during the day, when she might usually cry at home?
Are *you* stressed at your in-laws' home? Babies are very sensitive to our own stress.
Is there a long drive beforehand?
Just some questions to think about. And what are you doing to soothe her? I hear good things from new mothers regarding Harvey Karp's "Happiest Baby on the Block" book/dvd. This might be one avenue to try.
Good luck with this. Must be awkward. :)
I agree with many of the other posters who say she may be reacting to something in their environment...perfumes, pets, detergents...my MIL was a HUGE smoker, so I very rarely let the kids (as babies) go to her house. She was very offended by it, but the kids health and well being was more important.
this sounds wierd but they may be on to something just the wrong thing. they are thinking formula. and a formula allergy would make them gassy. so they may be on to something with an allergy. she may be allergic to something in thier house. but with her doing it at your house when they are around to it may be a feeling she gets off of them. an uneasy feeling for whatever reason. or they have lets say a cat and she is allergic to it. and she can smell it on thier clothes and cries cause she cant communicate. i may be way off base here but something is not right at thier house wether an allergy of an uneasy feeling. she is way to young to be allergy tested too. i would talk to my doc and see what they think.
Possible perfume allergy
Find out whether either of your in laws wears any fragrance products. If so, ask them to refrain from wearing any fragrance (or clothes with fragrance left on them from previous wearings), and to come over to your house. Their house will have too much of it in the air already. If this solves the problem, then the solution has been discovered.
My older son is allergic to fragrances. He has a different kind of reaction, mainly headaches and increased hyperactivity, but the crying could be your infants' only way of communicating her discomfort. This is a very real allergy. Not everyone who thinks they are allergic to perfume really are--sometimes the fragrance or a chemical in it is simply an irritant to lungs that have a different condition. But my son was clinically tested (beginning at age 3, now 22, and three different doctors have tested him for having this true allergy).
If your daughter is allergic to something that one of them is wearing, then later other fragrances can be tried, because sometimes it's only a problem with certain ones that have an ingredient in common. I can wear Chanel #5 without provoking a reaction in my son.
Are you comfortable at your inlaw's house? If you are anxious she might be picking up your vibe.
Are your husbands parents nervous when you come? Are they uncomfortable holding her. Usually babies pick up on things like that.
That is the only thing I can think of.
I don't feel at all surprised about this. I have a girl,who is now 19 months old. She behaved in this same way. She was happy when she is in my house but keep crying when she is in my husbands place. In our place its a custom that the mother and the baby,after delivery,stays at the mom's place for atleast for first 28 days.
I think she cried, because, she didn't feel comfortable at my in laws place. At my place, my mom n my dad, where too exited to have their first grand daughter,that they hardly leave her alone, always use to play with her. And moreover i am also very comfortable at my place. But this is entirely opposite in my in laws place. In my in laws place, i have work to do n upon that don't have time to sit with my baby n play, in fact i don't feel comfortable there. Its not that my MIL is bad, but its just that she is too interfering one, so i feel a little uncomfortable. And i have read somewhere that the babies can understand their mom's mood.
Are u comfortable at your in laws place? If not, then may be your baby is crying because of that.
Hopefully i don't stay at my in laws place. Me n my husband stay in another house. But my mom in law came here for a visit for 3 months. And since this is the first time after our marriage, that m having time alone with my MIL, So now we understood each other n i do feel comfortable with her, so do my daughter now.
Try leaving your baby to spend time with your in laws, let her get comfortable there herself. I am sure, she'll get adjusted to your in laws.
Try babies magic tea to solve your baby's tummy issues. it's good for babies and safe being natural formula. I am using this to calm my baby who was super fussy due to gas and colic.
Could be any number of things really. If she only does it in one location, it's not because of the formula. When my MIL would take care of my oldest when she was a baby, baby would cry a lot too - because MIL was soooo nervous about handling a baby and the baby would pick up on that, and MIL was so anxious from the crying that she wouldn't try the things I told her to. Eventually we just stoped having her "babysit."
It must be environmental... but probably not an allergy to cats or something like that (these types of allergies don't develop until toddlerhood). Most likely she is overstimulated by something in the environment... a fragrance, a sound (buzzing or humming by some appliance?. Do your in-laws wear wool which can be scratchy? Does your father in law have facial hair when nobody else in the family does? It is probably too early for that to be a factor, but we found in our extended family a few of the small children are/have been timid around one of my brothers for no apparent reason. We think it might be because he has facial hair, and the fathers of those kids don't, so he looks different! (my kids had no problem, maybe because my husband has had facial hair at times and they are used to it?) It is funny how small children react to things that are not familiar!
Could she be cold there? Or do they speak loud (I know someone else mentioned that) or how about their decor? Do they have a lot of bright colors that may overstimulate her?
