Cry Out Method - Clinton,MS

My daughter is 13 months and my son is nearly 3.

I always listen to my heart. If it feels too bad to me, I go get her. I listen to the way she is crying - if she sounds mad, I leave her. If she is getting hysterical and getting worse and worse, and no signs of calming down, I go get her.

I think for the hard core cry it out method, you leave them no matter what.

I am not opposed to some crying and there are lots of nights where she cries for 5-10 minutes, but depending on her crying, I normally get her after about 15.

Everyone will give you advice on this but I think you should do what feels right to you as a mom. Different things work for different children.

that's up to you personally. to break my daughter of coming out of her room and not going to sleep on her own, i would do our bedtime routine like normal, i would read her books and lay her down, and then shut her door. it killed her when i did that. she would scream and scream. i knew she was ok and not hurt or needing anything, so i left the door shut until the morning. granted i had a huge mess to clean up then cause she can throw up on demand and thought it would get me to open the door. but after two nights of that, she would stay in her bed and go to sleep on her own at night. i know it sounds harsh, but nothing else worked with her. Good luck on finding a way that you feel comfortable with that will work for your daughter.

15 to 20 minutes is about right. that is how long it took my oldest and i didnt go back in I listeened to the cries they get shorter and farther apart if they are going to sleep. if they havent gone to sleep in 20 min they are not going to something is wrong

I used to let my son cry until he fell asleep, only because if he thought i was coming in the room he would stop crying and want to get out. I used to wait outside his room until i heard him stop crying and realize that I wasnt coming in his room to comfort him. He used to twirl my hair, but he always got his fingers stuck. Good Luck

We did pure CIO and didn't go back in. We found if we went back in, we were back to square one and it made things worse. Our kids started sleeping through the night within days of doing pure CIO.

We don't go back in at all. So we do full CIO.

Going back in just made it worse for my kids. So if you're looking for timing, the longest my DD cried (we did this at 22 weeks) was 45 minutes.
The longest DS cried was 30 minutes.

They both sleep like logs now, and I would do it again in a heartbeat. It'sworth the 1-2 nights of agony in listening to them cry, to teach them how to self soothe and get the rest they need.

I always gave my kids 20-30 mins before I went back in there but I never had to go back in and they always stoped around 10-15 mins. I dont think 15mins is too long. An hour maybe but sometimes babies just want/need to cry and there is nothing you can do about. It sounds like you did everything you could for her and that is all you can do. :)

.

I would think that if she is crying for more than 20 min at a time then you should try to help her calm down, if she does not have a lovie yet now may be a good time. Suggestions
"Taggie" blanket
Slik like fabric (my son's fav)
cheapie fake clip in hair with your perfume/signature scent on it
blanket with an animal

You know your child and your own (as well as her) limits. We did it beginning at 5 min intervals, then increasing to 10, 15 etc. It was 3-4 mights of hell, but it worked. Really worked. For us.
I would never have the stomach to not go back in. That's just me.

Its not so much about the time as it is the severity of crying. If she's crying just normally then 15 minutes is fine. Heck, 30 minutes is fine as is 45. If she's hysterical, then even 2 minutes is not OK. That's how I did it. Others may differ but I'm OK with crying b/c they're not happy that you're not holding them. But I'm not OK with them getting hysterical b/c then I feel like thats more scarring to them emotionally.

We used the "Ferber Method" to train our 3 children to sleep through the night, and I found that when one of them got sick, overly-tired or stressed out, that they would stop sleeping through the night. So, once the sickness, etc.. was over, I would start the Ferber Method again. It only took 1-2 days to get back on schedule each time. Good luck!

15 minutes is fine. I usually do about 10 minutes. Whatever you are comfortable with.

I wouldnt even be able to handle 2 minutes of that

My 13 m.o. son does the hair pulling and scratching when he is really tired! I would say 15-20 minutes is about right as long as she is not hysterical and gagging or coughing from the crying.