My son has gotten into the habit of doing what he wants. Nothing seems to phase him. He has lost his toys, gets treats removed, looses the chance to do this or that. He might fuss for a minute about the punishment, but then doesn't seem to care. I truely feel helpless. If he does something he is not supposed to or doesn't listen to me..I feel like I can really do anything. I hate to just let him do what he wants,,,,,any ideas would be helpful.
We are having the same issues with our 4yo daughter. Wish I had some words of wisdom for you! good luck!
I have been married for 12 years and we have FOUR boys, ranging from 11 y/o to almost 1 y/o. As a parent, you need to take control of your child. Take away all toys, don't
'reward' him for disobeying... If he doesn't listen to you now...he'll never listen to you or respect you as his mother. Take away ALL privileges until he understands that YOU are the parent---not him. Gradually, you should let him have toys (if he keeps his room clean and starts being responsible of his things).
Yes, it's an up hill battle, but better now than later...
He'll scream and cry about it...and you have to stay consisent no matter what.
If you don't get a hold of his actions now...you may never have 'authority' over him as a parent. This my sound direct...but it's imperative that you take charge and be the parent. My children, clean their rooms, clean up toys, and when Mommy says no---it means no.
You can't just make his behavior get better, you have to change his attitude by changing yours...
Go to Amazon.com or local bookstore and try 1 2 3 Magic it's a book. We have been using with our daughter and seems to be working - my daughter is 4. Good Luck!
S.,
His acting out behavior could be related to the amount of attention he is needing. Don't forget that he is the one who sets the level for the amount of attention he needs. And it seems that the consequences are not enough to overpower the amount of attention he is getting when he is getting into trouble. Try giving him as little attention as is possible when he has done something bad. Only the attention that is necessary to explain the behavior he did, what you wanted him to do, and the consequences of that deed. Also give more attention when he is good. When he is being good catch him at it and give him a hug and kiss, whatever works for your family.
Remind him that it is his choice to do something bad and what the consequences are of that deed, if you happen to catch him on the way to doing something bad. Also, don't hesitate to pick him up and physically remove him from the situation you don't want him to do. The sooner he learns Mommy is in charge and he will do what you want him to do, the better. If he runs, don't just chase him and make it a game, actually catch him and pick him up and bring him over to what it is you want him to do.
Good Luck.
W.
S.,
sounds like you and your husband need to get on the "same page" with discipline. If your husband is gone a lot, you need to make sure the two of you have conversations about what kinds of things he did and what punishment was given.
Be consistent. Make a list of graduated discipline measures and that all depends on you... Taking away toys all the way up to losing play time or spankings. Some parents don't believe in spanking but I'm not opposed to a swat or two to get the little one's attention.
When he does something wrong... Put him in time out in a chair that is away from all things fun. After his time out is up, get down on his level and bend down to him while he is still in the chair. Ask him why he did what he did. Maybe he thinks it's ok. Talk to your son about the possible consequences of his behavior. Ask him to apologize.
Whatever you do, you need to be consistent.
Best wishes,
HP
