Correcting an Adult's Grammar, or the Like

I wouldn't be, but it's not often that I mispronounce things anyway so it's not something that I recall ever happening to me. There are plenty of times when I'll ask someone how to pronounce something correctly - a person's name, or some new acronym or jargon introduced at work, or my favorite, a plant name at my garden club - and I try to remember but if I don't, I'm not shy about asking again.

What I try to do when needing to correct someone's pronunciation - which happens A LOT in the SAT class I teach when my students read aloud from the sample text - is to casually repeat the word pronounced correctly and hope that they pick up on the correction.

If I'm using or pronouncing a word incorrectly, I appreciate it when someone politely makes me aware of my error.

It depends on the context. A lot of people have been poorly taught, and they repeat mistakes from their school or family. Some people are nasty correction police, and they correct everything even if it's an "acceptable" regional difference.

If it holds them back in their job (which it does often), it can be helpful to gently suggest that others form an opinion about your intelligence or level of education based on common mistakes such as saying "nucular" for "nuclear" or grammatical errors like "My co-worker was annoyed when the boss reprimanded her and I." And if the individual's job requires writing correspondence, reports or newsletters, or doing any kind of public speaking (from answering phones to giving tours or sales pitches), then poor grammar is a huge problem that gets in the way of advancement.

Some people just try to model the correct pronunciation and hope the person gets the hint. I remember seeing a movie years ago that dealt with "Celtic folklore" and I was telling someone about it . I pronounced "Celtic" with an "S" sound (as in "Boston Celtics"). The person just listened and then responded in normal conversation, but pronounced it like "Keltic" - I heard the difference, looked it up on my own, and never made that mistake again. But I had a good education, had teachers who corrected my spelling and grammar, learned to use a thesaurus, and (an important factor) learned a second language. Learning about another languages grammar and the parts of speech (direct object pronouns and the subjunctive tense, no less!) helped me do a much better job with English.

It depends on how the corrected person views the correction: is the "corrector" trying to make me feel small and inadequate, or is this helpful to my advancement and my being seen as an intelligent person worth listening to? If my mistakes make the listener feel that I am careless in other ways, or that I don't care about my finished product (whether it's my work or my conversation), then my poor grammar reflects badly on me in a way I want to change.

In the case you cite, the correction was done privately, which is good. If it was done by a boss or a friend, then your pal should see if she can learn from it. If it was done by a store clerk she'll never see again, then the context was probably inappropriate. It also depends on HOW it was done. Sometimes saying, "I've always wondered about that word. Some people say X and some say Y. I'm going to look that up so I get it right" is more palatable than "YOU screwed it up and I am always right about these things."

I'm a teacher, but I generally let it slide unless I feel that it is particularly harmful (for example, the person is writing a business document). My ex is driven nuts by grammar errors and mispronunciation --one reason he clashed with my dad who is really smart guy (an engineer), but has terrible grammar.
Personally, I'm a horrible speller and I have a regional accent that is more pronounced when I am tired or excited (happy, angry, etc.). My students take great delight in correcting my errors. It seems only fair since I get to correct them about theirs.

It depends on the manner in which it was done. Most folks that I have seen do this are condescending and rude about it. I worked with someone that was like this once upon a time and I hated that trait about her. She very much had the attitude that she was going to put herself up on a pedestal and tear everyone else down...

I did that when I was younger. Not especially effective for the speaker, because they did not ask for my help and took the correction personally. My bad.

Now, as a "reformed corrector", I find one joy of my days is to be asked to proofread friends' professional papers and documents. I can recommend changes to my heart's content and I am being helpful!

Of course it is quite humbling to reread some of my quick responses on this site and find obvious spelling and grammatical errors. Sigh!

Sounds like your pal has too much pride. She should be glad that someone finally "helped her out" so that she wouldn't look ignorant over and over again.

I'd wonder which is worse in her eyes - being told one-on-one how to correctly pronounce a word, or knowing how badly she sounds to everyone she says it wrong in front of.

If she's one who people have to walk on egg shells to be around, I don't think I'd want to be around her much...

I think correct ing someones grammer and pronunciation is rude. You are mak making how something is said more important than what they're saying. You're apt to miss the meaning or reason for the conversation. I also suggest you are also putting the person down, intimating you're smarter then them even Iif that's not your intent.

morning, I don't think I'd be upset...then again, it's how the person does it.. If they do so in a condescending way, I might take offense, on the other hand, I do appreciate it if someone is trying to help me... However, I will add that worse than mispronounced words, is the over use of LIKE... many people are adding that to their conversation.. I went here and then I was like.... and then like... and that like.... all these people saying LIKE.... as filler... I'd much rather hear mispronounced words than the same word in a conversation over and over.. you know, like what I mean, like.. :)

I think I'd rather be corrected than have people walk away or not listen to me.

When you correct someone just say "Iron sharpens Iron"... that way they shouldnt be offended.

Proverbs 27:17
New International Version
17 As iron sharpens iron,
so one person sharpens another.

Some people just NEVER take correction or tips or "help" well.
No matter, how it was done or how the delivery was said.
Then they wonder why, no one tells them anything.
Ugh.

Anyway, she mispronounces that word, and you hear it too.
Someone was bound to tell her.

Per myself, if someone corrects me or the way I talk, I am not embarrassed. It is not a put down. It is a tip. Take it or leave it. Up to me.

If it was one-on-one, my guess is that my friend was trying to help me. My husband has a latent New York accent and will sometimes slip into it; I might say "you know, I know you mean "Adventist" hospital but it sounds like you are saying "Avendist" like the Avengers. Might want to remember that."

I don't take umbrage to those moments. I would rather be corrected if I wasn't expressing myself clearly. And of course, when there's a situation where English isn't a person's first language, I would ask a question if there was need for clarification; if they asked directly "how do you say" then I would provide that information. There are obviously times when sensitivity is helpful.

That's funny to me. I take special care to use the right grammar and pronunciation, even outside the English language. I would be okay with someone correcting me in a "nice" way, because I want to be right. I might even request help with something that's not clear to me.

I think that a person who gets so offended cares more about being the person who gets to bring and present the new and special thing. You know, the one who can't just fall in line with existing conversation or shut up and listen to other people talk, but has to start a whole new topic and then decide when that topic has been exhausted.

Again, I loff!

I don't think I would correct someone if I noticed they mispronounced a word or used it in the wrong context. I would feel as if I was being a miss know it all, especially since I know my English isn't always perfect either. I am sure later on they would figure out they were wrong. Now if it was a family member of mine I would say something. Sometimes I notice immigrants who come to our country don't always pronounce words correctly or use them correctly and I would never think they were uneducated morons. IMO that is a poor choice of words.

Nope, pronunciation correction doesn't bother me.
Especially if I only know the word from seeing it in print and have never heard it spoken before.
Having worked with people from the UK, pronunciations (and spellings) can vary.
I have relatives in western NY who pronounce Datsun and Mazda with a flat A (like in apple) instead of an A as an 'ah'.
My grandfather (was a taylor) had a Singer sewing machine - he said sing-ger with a hard G.

At one point in the office we were talking about a journal extract accounting program that had some sort of hole in it (some wrong data was getting through) and the program naming convention at the time only allowed short number of letters - so it was the jorex program we were referring to.
A UK worker came over from the next cubical row and said 'This is a program you're discussing, right?".
Apparently jorex sounds a lot like durex which is a condom brand which is popular in Europe - we'd never heard of it before.
Considering someone thought we were talking about a hole in a condom was embarrassing (but hilarious).
A little discussion and clarification can really help to clear things up!

If it's handled well, I'd be ok with it. I agree - better to be embarrassed once than every single time having people think you don't know what you're talking about.

I wouldn't be offended if the correction were in private and done kindly.

Honestly, it depends. I very rarely (if ever) use a word that I do not know how to pronounce correctly. I just don't. I see other people do it... and I don't understand why. I guess they were just taught it incorrectly or something, b/c they typically are words that sound regional or dated by generation...
"Salmon" (pronouncing the "l" for example). That sort of thing...

Most people that I have encountered who mispronounce a word just b/c they are unfamiliar with it (perhaps reading something out loud) normally sort of stumble over the word. In those cases, I will offer the correct pronunciation sometimes... if they seem to actually want to know it. Sometimes, they just keep going and don't care. In those cases, I would keep quiet.

If I were the one reading (and unable to properly pronounce something)... if I pause there, I wouldn't mind someone saying it correctly... I would appreciate it.

But goodness, if you are going to correct someone, please be sure that YOU are pronouncing correctly before you do. I would be really annoyed if someone corrected my pronunciation of salmon to "SAL mon". HAHA

--
Oh, as for grammar... I am a grammar person and it drives me nuts to hear poor grammar. But I won't correct an adult for it. My husband (in the privacy of home) perhaps, or my kids or someone else's kids in my care... but not an adult.

I'm OK with being corrected, but I would never think to correct someone else. We talk to communicate, and if the meaning is clear, correcting is rude.