Concerned About My Son's Height

I dont think you need to worry, boys are strange creatures that literally grow overnight. But you are paying your doctor to deal wit health matters and I would definitely discuss it with him. It might also ease your sons feelings too.

Hi D.,
If your other children followed the same growth pattern, then I wouldn't be convinced that he is going to have a growth spurt soon and wouldn't encourage him to think that. I would definitely talk to your doctor about your concerns, and see if he can give you a range of height, based on your height and husband's, and that of your (and his) parents, what your son's adult height might be. If the doctor determines that his height is out of the normal range, he might suggest a visit to an endocrinologist. It may simply be that you don't produce tall kids, and if so, there's really nothing that you can do about it. Someone is always going to be the shortest kid in the class, it has to be somebody. If you, as you say, stress that size doesn't matter and that you've had several talksa bout it, you ARE letting him know your concern despite saying that you're not. He's probably picking up on your concern. I am sorry that he is subject to teasing and I hope that his teacher(s) can help to put a stop to that!

D.,

My whole family is small (I'm 5'1" -- always in the bottom 10 percentile height/weight), and my baby brother was like me. He's still skinny, but in his mid teens, he shot up. He's 5'11"-ish now, the tallest in the family. :)

Of course, your son may or may not have that kind of growth spurt. However, I know some very short men who are successful, interesting, wonderful people (and married to women significantly taller than themselves!:). I sometimes wonder if being short helped them to develop their strong personalities. My little brother, being both the third child and very short until he was about 15, has a strong sense of who he is, a willingness to speak up for himself (necessary with older siblings!) and a great deal of independence. As you know, kids will pick on other kids for just about anything -- I hated school because I was picked on for having long, shiny blonde hair of which the other girls were jealous! -- so I'm sure even if your son has a growth spurt next month he will still get picked on some times for something. However, it sounds like you're doing the best you can to prepare your son for the world -- you're creating a supportive environment that emphasizes substance over form, you're giving him role models to look up to and you're making sure he knows he is loved. It sounds like you're doing everything right!

Of course, if you're concerned, you can talk to his doctor (although it sounds like your concern isn't so much medical -- since it looks like he's growing on an appropriate curve) as psychological. The doctor may still have some advice.

The first thing you need to do is stop worrying about how tall your son will be, and start working on his self confidence. You've got a great start with that, but also you need to not show him that you are worried about his height. Kids are smart, and they are listening the most when you think they aren't at all. He hears when you talk to dad about him being shorter then the other kids. He thinks it's a big deal because he knows that you think it is. Chances are he's going to be shorter then average, and it's up to you to teach him to be big in self since he won't be in height. If it's really that big of a deal to him consider getting him a therapist. And oh, at 7, girls usually are taller then boys. It's a fact that girls grow faster then boys at this age.

Also, take advantage of the Star Wars thing. Not just with Yoda, but with Luke too. Look at how skinny and basically small Luke is, but he fights hard, and stands up for what's right. Teach your son those are the important things. Help him learn how to take the jokes that come at him as jokes, and turn them back around. After all, some of our best comedians come from having something different about them, and having to overcome that.

The last thing...do not talk to his doctor about his height issues where your son can hear you!! Good luck with all of this.

my friend is 4'8" and her hubby is 5'6". her one son is small but in the 20%.. her second son was in the 5th percentile.. she had the dr. check on him.. and they said after some tests.. that he would be about 5'. they went over a bunch of options.. and started to give him hormone shots.. which were stated about the age of 7 and will be given until he is in puberty.. about 12 or 13.. he will be about 5'6" they feel after all the shots are given.. which they feel is better than only 5' for a man. good luck.. it's a big decision.. but if you go with the shots.. you have to start asap.. go to the dr. and talk it over.. kids can be cruel.. and it's ok in this type of world for a girl to be small and cute.... but boys are looked down upon sometimes ... especially as others start to grow much quicker.. good luck.. it's a hard decision..

Hi D.,
Wow, sounds familiar, my son is also 7 and is 43" and 42 lbs. It is hard. He was teased last year too and i cant stand it. My hubby is only 5'5 and me 5'4' so there is not alot of hope for a huge growth spurt here. My husband and I were both teased as little kids and YES we remember it but it made us who we are today and that is good loving people who dont tease others.
I just hope that my kids dont get broken by the teasing and it makes them stronger. at home we always tell them how GREAT they are and we dont focus on the height at all.
Good luck to you.
J.

Dear D.,

You've gotten some great ideas already. I just wanted to add quickly that the term "Napoleon complex" implies that the only way for a guy to deal with being short is negative. To the contrary, short guys often find wonderful, positive ways of coping: they're often the sharpest wits around. On the chance your son WILL grow up to be short -- and some guys do -- I really recommend reorienting yourself to see that as positive, so you can help your son see it the same way.

Just for starters, you can try to expose your son to sports where being short is an advantage -- male jockeys and gymnasts have to be short, for example, or you can sign him up for martial arts training (these classes are often taught by Asian men, who may be shorter than their white counterparts, and in many martial arts, being small and quick is better than being big and lunky).

Good luck, and remember -- challenges aren't all bad!

I know how you feel. My oldest son was also short. I remember he came home from school one day actually in tears. He was not allowed to use one of the items in the gymnastic class because he was too short and some of the other kids laughed at him. That was in 6th grade. By the end of 7th grade he had grown 12 inches! Yes, 12 inches! I remember having to go shopping for him almost every month just to keep him in pants that weren't too short! Now he is fully grown and is 6'1". Give him time to hit his growth spurt.

I know this is from 9 years ago but I am hoping I can find out if you son did go through a late growth spurt. My son is now the same age and height as your son was. Also, if not how is he doing with his height?
Thank you

Hi, first allow me to ask what the acronym SAHM means.

I only have one question: does he get enough sleep at night, because this has been proven to cause some children to be a bit shorter. Otherwise, I really don't think you have anything to worry about. He just might be a shorter person and that's okay. Continue to help him to diffuse the criticism he may receive from children, and to help him realize that children always find something negative to say about one another. Be careful about comparing him to a creature from a sci-fi flick, because your son is not a creature, he's a very valuable human being with a lot to offer the world, tall, or short.

Hi D.,

My son is very short for his age. He is going to be 11 but, is the size of a 3rd grader! I find it tougher with adults towards him...."OMG-he's so small" or "what is he like 6 years old" - I so want to say these people, "OMG-you are so fat"! Kids are easier to deal with because we say God makes us in all different shapes and sizes and wouldn't it be a dull and boring world if we were all the same height?!

Just know you are not alone and just encourage the positive like you are doing!!

Don't worry about it. My husband is only 5'4 and weighs only 135lbs.....we are almost the exact same height, and when I am pregnant I out weigh him by quite a bit! That being said, he has never found height to be a issue. If someone mentions that he is short he tells them he is glad about his small size... he is perfectly comfortable flying coach and never has to worry about not having enough leg room in a compact car! Teach your son humor and try not to mention his height. If its not a big deal to you, it won't be to him either.
My husband also has 5 brothers, the tallest of which is 5'7, they are all incredibly successful, smart men who are the life of the party and have great success in their careers and social lives.
Best of Luck!

I've been raising 6 children. Two nephews, three neices and one son. My youngest nephew is and has always been very short. I have a picture of the children in height and age order. That was fifteen years ago. Now they are all over the place with heights. My son, the youngest and littlest at the time is now the tallest. I remember when his cousin (just a year older) was taller than him and now he is not.

Some things you should know. Kids are going to tease kids but your kid can not just survive the teasing but thrive through it. My nephew is a funny, likeable, delightful young man. He has learned how to handle adversity and challenges relating to his small stature. He is only 5' 3" tall and 15 years old. He loves his height and isn't bothered by it which is great.

I say just give your son the support and encouragement he needs to be a great and whole person.