Concern of 5 Yrs Bed Wetting

Hi,
I know you already got plenty of responses, but growing up I had a very good friend who wet the bed occasionally until she was nearly 11(?) She would bring a plastic sheet and sleeping bag to sleepovers, she was tiny, and she just said sometimes she wouldn't wake up in time and she wore a watch to wake her up, maybe her bladder was too small? She never had it happen sleeping over I think, but either way for some reason everyone just accepted her, and never made fun of her. We were strangely respectful of her, and I guess we were all just glad it wasn't us. It was very much a well that sucks but it's life and there's not much you can do attitude. I hope life isn't too hard for him! No shame and guilt fact explanations sometimes work well is my point I guess.

I had a roommate in his late 20's who still wet the bed on a fairly regular basis, especially when he had been out drinking! I just told you this so you would know that it is possible to go into adulthood! Imagine marrying a man who wet the bed regularly? Best of luck to you

hi rhonda--
our son just turned 5 in march and he has gone through a similar cycle.

he began staying dry all night right around his 4th birthday last spring but around christmas he started having accidents again. we had totally stopped nighttime pullups & he was in regular underwear all night. when he started having accidents again we went back to pullups for about 4 months. he is now dry most nights (5-6 nights out of 7).

what we have seen is that when he is really tired he is more likely to wet the bed. also, we only let him have one drink after supper, usually water, about an hour before bed, and then he has to pee before he gets in bed, whether he has the urge to or not. this has worked well for us. he sometimes gets up in the middle of the night to pee but this is only when he isn't totally worn out. if he is exhausted he doesn't wake up at all until morning and that's when he is wet. if he is generally well-rested he stays dry all night.

i'm not convinced that limiting his fluid intake during the day is going to help him at night. your best bet, in my opinion, is to look at his evening fluid consumption. this time of year, in particular, you really want to be careful not to let him get dehydrated--so making him cut back during the day probably won't help, and may be a problem. around dinner time & afterwards is when you want to limit his fluids. we have found that getting CJ to go pee right before bed has had a great impact on his ability to stay dry all night. and it helps psychologically too--when we forget to make him pee, he reminds us that it needs to happen. he feels much more in charge & in control.

good luck, hope that helps a little!

dont decrease the fluids until 2 hours before bedtime I (I switch to milk instead of water and juice at that time) and of course a trip to the bathroom immediately before bed. works like a charm for my son who never pees out anymore.

My son wet the bed through 3rd grade. Be sure to speak with your pediatrian about it - it is fairly common for kids, especially boys, to be unable to make it through the night. You are doing the right things and I have one additional suggestion. When my husband or I would wake up in the night to go to the bathroom we would go get our son and take him to go, too. It was definitely hauling "dead weight" to the toilet, but he'd immediately go when we stood him up in front of it. He did wake up night after night with wet sheets and you just MUST remember that it is not something he can control. We'd just change the sheets in the morning and made certain that he was never chastised or embarrassed by the bed wetting. Your son outgrow it but it might be several more years, so again, be sure to discuss it with your doctor.

I wet the bed until I was in 5th grade and had an occasional (1-2x a year)accident until I was 16! I just wouldn't wake up. My mom and dad (who was a bedwetter too) were very supportive and I did have to help with the laundry when I was older, but please, please, please don't make a big deal of it... like it's a bad thing. Your son really can't help it. My little sister was a bedwetter too, but by then we were in the care of an "evil" stepmom and she traumatized my little sister, she refused to buy pull ups (these weren't around when I was little) and bought the alarm, she was made to do her own laundry (I see no problem in helping, but in this case, the laundry room was in the garage in the back of the lot and if it was dark, oh well, she'd send my sister out, who was 4 at the time, too young to do it by herself). I guess my point is, this is normal for a lot of children and I've even read that if you had a parent who was a bedwetter, your chances are even greater of being one, so it may even be genetic so please just be sensitive.

I have not had experience with this in particular, but I have done some research about sleep disorders (which run in my family) and in every article that I read bed-wetting was listed as a sleep disorder. I would ask his pediatrician if he/she could refer you to a sleep clinic. I'm sorry I don't have more to offer, but I wanted to let you know at least the little that I've found out about it. One of the older men in my family wet the bed into elementary school and, back then, it was treated as a behavioral issue. Poor guy was punished for something that he couldn't control. Now that we see the different forms of sleep disorders (night terrors, bed-wetting, confusion arousals) we know what was going on.

Hope this helps!

I have a daughter who wet the bed until she was nine years old. It drove me crazy at the time, but now she is a normal and well adjusted 34 year old. When she was five I took her to a pediatric urologist. He did a scope of her bladder and other tests and found everything to be normal. She now has a four year old daughter who still wears pull-ups at night. We don't worry about her and her mom plans to just use pull-ups for as long as it takes. Back to my daughter ... I know she was asleep when she wet at night because I sometimes slept beside her and observed that she was totally unaware that she was wetting. I am writing to encourage you that sometimes those things that worry us so when our children are younger just normally work themselves out in time.

Wow -- we have so been there!! My daughter is going to be six and a half in a couple of weeks, and she has wet the bed consistently throughout her life -- no significant dry periods at all. I have consulted with the pedi and look stuff up on line and always concluded that she'll grow out of it or that I would work with her on it when SHE was ready. Then last month she said a couple of times that she was embarrassed about kids knowing -- she'd told a girlfriend and the girlfriend told some boys and she was ashamed. And then that same week two girls stopped by unexpectedly and she proudly showed them her room and I heard them ask about the pull-ups, and I knew it was excruciating for her. So I go back online and checked out the bedwetting alarm systems that I'd been aware of but hadn't felt ready to use, and picked on that is "wireless" -- no wires and unintrusive. It was pricey ($100), but as the online ad pointed out, we will make our money back within a couple months by not buying pull ups and not having to do extra laundry loads. I talked with my daughter before ordering it, and showed it to her online, and she was ecstatic about it. I think waiting until I felt pretty sure SHE wanted to be done with the pull-ups was probably very helpful -- I would have liked to have been done years ago, but if it became a battle of wills with me trying to GET her potty trained at night, I think it would have been rough on both of us. Because she was delighted by her "electric underpants" as daddy calls them, and thrilled at having the help getting out of the pull-ups, the whole thing worked like magic -- we had to wake up when the alarm went off for the first night or two to help her to the toilet, but since then she's been getting through the night dry without our help. She proudly told us the other day that she doesn't even need the alarm, she can just tell when her body needs to go. Exactly as promised in the advertising. I know ours is a particularly fortunate case, but I think that a wireless bedwetting alarm would be a great choice for any child who is motivated to leave pullups behind.

Best wishes,
M.

My take on that is to start back getting him up at nights until he officially has trained himself. Kids play all day and sleep all night. So it up to the two of you, as parents, to work with him. Keep those pull-ups off of him. He's 5 and I don't blame him. Five years old and wearing pull-ups...duh. How would you feel if your friends knew you wore depends at night? Wouldn't feel too good, would it? I have a 4 year old who does not wet the bed, but I get him up at least once a night. You're gonna have to get off of your lazy chairs and work with him again until he gets back on track.

Please...dehydration. Give him his liquids during the day, but limit his intake at night. I can guarantee he won't be dehydrated come morning. No liquids after, maybe, 9 pm, and wake him up at night so he can releive it. It's just that simple. Also, if he gets up during the night and wants a drink of water, give it to him but be sure you wake him up later to what?...releive it.

He is most definitely not alone and he will more than likely grow out of this. It helped my son emotionally when I told him that. Just about every family has had to deal with this in one way or another. We too tried practically everything but the truth was that he is a very deep sleeper and just could not wake up to go. This was around the time that they first came out with the overnight pull ups. I told my son that they wouldn't make a product like this unless there was a great demand for it. Which of course meant that there were other kids his age and size that had the same problem. It will get better. I wouldn't recommend, however, making him wash his own bedding like someone had suggested. That seems in itself a form of punishment to me. God bless!

I know that it is hard not to worry about it, but I keep telling myself that my son won't be walking the stage at graduation with pull-ups. I too have a 6 1/2 year old boy that wears "Underjams" to bed every night. His big brother did not have as hard as a time with this, but from what my mother-in -law tells me, my husband did. The body produces a hormone and from what I understand sometimes in boys it may take a little longer. The hormone is called antidiuretic hormone, or ADH, it causes the body to produce less urine at night. But some people don't make enough ADH. From what our Dr. tells us, it will come in time. We have told our son as an incentive, that he will not be able to go to sleepovers until he's no longer wearing his underjam's. This is also to keep him from being embarrassed by others. We don't make a big deal about it, we too tried waking him up different times of the night, stop drinking early in the evening, and letting him sleep in the wet bed, but it didn't make a difference. He has some nights that he is dry but most mornings he's not. Just be patient, there is nothing wrong and it will happen when his little body is ready. Hope this helped a little.

this should clear itself up by the age of 9 maybe 11. other thatn that you have done a great job doing the research I would be really careful about lowering the liquid intake because it gets so hot in the early spring when kids are still school. Let him know that everybody is different. maybe have more sleepovers at your house so you can monitor the activities leaving less time for the other boys to notice his pull-ups. like let him go to sleep with under wear on and then change him into pullups after he is asleep and wake him up before the other boys and help him cahnge before the other boys wake up.

Would you know that my son is going through the EXACT same thing but my son is 9! I also tried the boxer type pull ups but he wouldnt have it. I can get him up in the middle of the night and bring him and one he does not remember me doing that at all in the morning and two he still wets the bed. In my situation he is not suppose to consume any water after 7 pm but he just gets up out of bed and sneaks water from his sink in his bathroom. I change and wash his mattress pad every single morning. I have learned to just use a mattress pad and a small blanket to cover him up and it cuts back on the wash. I have been told by many many people including his doctor that he will eventually out grow it. I just wonder when. THe doctor prescribed him this medicine and i dont remember the name but anyway it is suppose to make it where they wont have an accident throughout the night. We tried it only once and it worked. Its good to have just for sleep overs to give them the convidence to go enjoy a sleep over with friends and not be worried about going in the bed. Still to this day my son will not sleep out. He knows that if his friends are at our house and he goes in the bed I can just go in his room and act like its the day I need to change all the sheets on everyones bed that way no one knows. Anyway my point is my son is 9 and still having accidents and the doctor tells me time and time again that it is normal and he will grow out of it. Sometimes I wonder if it is heritary because my oldest brother did it until he was 13 and so did one of my neices. Hang in there and dont believe everything you hear or read from people on the internet. You are going to get a ton of GREAT responses from the moms on this site. Godd luck to you and I understand your frustrations and concerns!

Don't give him much if anything to drink 2 hours before bedtime. If my son wants a drink right before bed, he gets only 1 or 2 sips. He can also rinse out his mouth with water. Also, this is very common among boys. I wouldn't worry about it too much. But, for your sake, I would force the issue with the pull ups and of course keep your doctor in the know/loop just in case something else is going on. I told my son that he had to wear his pull up at night until he went 3 nights in a row dry, then he didn't have to wear one until he had another accident. I made sure he knew it wasn't a punishment, but that I wanted to keep the bed dry as much as possible and he was helping me out by doing this. He agreed, grudgingly. It only took about 1 week and he no longer needs one at all. But, I do know that is very common up through middle school for many boys. His bladder just hasn't caught up with body.

Rhonda,
My now 16-year old had the same issue...we tried everything, even that wet-detection attachment for the matress...nothing worked. His doctor told us to stop worrying about it but I knew HE did. It wasn't until he had a terrible Bladder infection that we were sent to a Urologist and he confirmed that our son had Kidney Reflux and that he problably had low grade bladder infections all along. He stopped wetting the bed the day after he was placed on antibiotics and now we know that if he wets...call the pedi. Also, as he grew, the tubes between the bladder and kidney get longer, so his refulx is much better. Now its only 1 every other year or so.
I hope this helps! There is HOPE!!!

Rhonda,
I have the same issue with my 7yr old son who now is about to go to the urologyst at texas children's hospital in houston,tx to get checked out. your pcp for your child should be able to give him desmopresson (med) that might help a little. my son took it but it's not strong enough for him so they're sending us to a specialist. call and talk to your doctor about this instead of a psychologist. the pcp is more aware of what works with your kids than psychologist.
yes, he's more likely to out-grow it but be sure that this isn't a medical issue before it can't be stopped. we were waking our son up too, but it only works a couple times a month. best of wishes and you're welcome to ask me anymore questions about the meds that can help. i still have the bottle as far as i know. good luck.

I had this issue until I was 8 years old... my parents fixed it by purchasing a gizmo called a "Wee Alert". An alarm would go off every time I wet the bed. I HATED that thing and just thinking about it makes me cringe... the alarm scared me every time. However... it seems like it worked because after I started using it, I stopped wetting the bed.

Maybe they make a better version of the "Wee Alert" now that doesn't sound such a terrifying alarm. I hated it so much that I would disconnect it at night sometimes... I think this was mostly b/c the alarm noise was so jarring.

Also, I remember hearing somewhere that bedwetting is caused by the lack of a particular enzyme... not sure if that can be supplemented or not.

My husband wet the bed till he was seven. Most times it is that their bladder isn't big enough to hold the urine through the night coupled with their deep sleep. I wouldn't worry that much and just reassure him that there are plenty of guys out there that have to use the pull-ups...or why else would they make and mass-market them? That said, several Mothers have posted that cutting out milk from their child's diet after lunch works wonders...worth a shot!

H.

I think you are getting ahead of yourself with worrying! Yes, maybe this can last until adulthood, but this is very unlikely. My daughter also had this problem. I talked with her doctor about it and he said that most children that have this problem will outgrow it by the time they are 12. They have a prescription medication that you can give your child to help with this. I believe you can take it when needed, i.e. for sleepovers,ect. I chose not to go this route, because I was afraid she would not get that deep sleep you are talking about. We all need that stage of sleep. I recommend you talk to the doctor, but he is very young and this more common in boys. It is a develpment issue. There is nothing wrong with him. You can also stop all drinks by 6:30 and he will be plenty hydrated for the next day, I promise. He will be okay! My daughter is 13 and is not wetting anymore. It stopped around age 11.

Hi Rhonda,
We have been going through the same thing! Our pediatrician told me not give him liquids after 6:00 pm, as he generally goes to bed at 8:30 pm. When he gets home just try and get him to drink plenty of liquids and remind him that at 6:00 he doesen't get anything. Hope this works for you, I'm kind of a push over when he say's he is thirsty.
Good luck,
K.

I'm the Mother of 3 boys ages 14, 12 8. My youngest wet the bed until 7 years old. It happens quite a lot with boys. What I have learned over the years is don't make a big deal about it. I made a big deal about things with my first born, and I can see the bad affects now. With my youngest, we discovered what motivates him and that was money. We decided to pay him 25 cents for everynight he did not wet the bed. We never made bed wetting a problem, treated it very lightly. If you start invalidating him or making him wrong for it, in my experience you will get more of what you don't want. The 5 year old problem was handled in two weeks. Do not believe any "brain theories" from psycologists. Hope this helps.

Bed wetting is COMMON. Many kids wet the bed till they are 8 or so...I have a 6 year old who wets nearly every night...one of his uncles wet till he was about 10...I know a girl who wet at night till she was about 10. AND my boys have a friend who's 14 and still wets the bed on a regular basis...there are medications, there are natural approaches...but honestly, when he's old enough he will stop...and 5 years old is extremely common to still have this trouble.

Rhonda I can feel your concern but, don't worry so much, your son is still young to get trained in this matter.
My brother was wetting the bed until he was about 8 and the terapist put himn on a very simple excercise... He should train himself holding the urge to go during the day, this was a daily excercise until he finally did it at night, of course stop taking fluids at early night will help too, but particularly in my brother's case this was the deal and it worked!
So. good luck and don't panic about it ok?

Ericka.

Hi Rhonda I don’t know to much about this mift but I have heard that limiting the dairy intake will sometimes help. A close friend of mine had the same problem with her 6 year old son and when she started limiting his dairy intake it stopped, now I don’t know if that is what did the trick or if the timing was just there! *grins* good luck, S.