College Mom

You sound like a great mom.I love hearing about people like you.I know that you probably worry a lot when your sons aren't with you but they are growing up.I can't say that nothing will ever happen to your remaining boys but God has a plan for each of us in this world and we need to live each day to it's fullest not worry what's going to happen next.Keep loving them and encouraging them to be the best they can be,instead of being afraid for them.I worry about my kids but I try to just put that worry in the back of my head and let God shelter and protect them.I know I can't always be there so just F.R.O.G.-----Fully Rely On God. :~}

First of all let me give you a big ((((HUG))) because losing a child is the most heartbreaking thing a mother could ever have to go through. I didn't lose a child, but I lost my oldest brother to drowning. It is hard to go on, but with other children to raise, we have a reason to do it. I worry about my children too, and they are grown and on their own now, but a mother's love continues on no matter how old they get. I just say a prayer for them every night for the following day and ask God to keep them in his loving care. We are all afraid to let them strike out on their own, but that is life and we have to support them and encourage them to be the wonderful adults that we know they are. My daughter moved to Dallas,TX (we live in IL) for a year when she was 21 and it was very difficult for me, but she got the training and knowledge she needed to come back and get an advanced position here in the workforce so it was the right thing for her to do for her future. When your son asks for or hints at wanting something that you cannot give him, just say no, do not put yourself and your husband in a bind because you feel guilty for not providing for his every want...learning to accept not having everything you want is also part of growing up. If he wants it bad enough he will work to earn the money to buy it and it wont hurt him a bit. :) I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers M. and if you want to contact me, email me at
____@____.com anytime. Hugs, B.

I'm in sort of an opposite situation. I'm 28, and finishing my college degree- putting the finishing touches on my final thesis tonight in fact! Anyway, I have a 3 and 5 year old, and have had a very difficult time since going back to work full time a year ago, using my spare time to study rather than spending it with my kids. Your son is lucky to know how much you care about him. I hope my kids have some understanding of that. My advise, just do the best you can. Keep showing him your love, and keep makeing memories, even if it's only on the Holiday's. Remember, it's the little things that count. My Grandmother, when I first started college would send a letter with a $10 bill about once a month. Not much, but it's one of my favorite memories of her, because I knew she was thinking about me.
Take Care,
A.

I don't have any advice for you being that I am only 25 and a happily married mother of two very young boys. I am just now getting use to always being worried. I am having a hard time being away from my 5 year old that started kindergarten this year. Guess my worries may never go away.

I just wanted to say it is so nice to hear how much you care for your boys even though they are almost grown. My parents have never seemed to care for my sister and I. I reciently moved back to my home town after living out of state the past six years. My mom lives less than one mile from me and she hasn't visited me in almost a month. I go over there about once a week and she usually sends me to take my 96 year old grandmother to get their groceries.

Even though your son is 21 and loving his independance I'm sure. I know it is very comforting to him to know that you will always be there for him and when he feels lonely so far from home he will smile knowing his mama is thinking about him back home at that very moment. Then, he won't feel so lonely any more. I believe that is part of what maks a good mother to an adult child because that is how I want either one of my four parents to feel toward me.

I had to buy my dad dinner the other day to get him to stop buy and visit even though he was only a couple miles away from my house. Nobody ever asks how my boys are and they never get love, gifts or sleepovers with my parents. I just wish my children could have grandparents like I did. Then again, my boys have parents like I never did and my goal is to be a mom like you seem to be. It is hard to overcome being a child of my parents. No, my parents are not drug addicts, or criminals just middle class people that happen to be very, very, very selfish.

M., I have a few questions first. Is this son in college working? Is what he asking for a need or a want? This is very important. Especailly if you're struggling. I know the feeling. My son just gave me a kidney and he's not working yet, healing , so I'm helping him pay his rent and my pockets are crying. If it's a want he's asking for, just simply say, honey you know if I could I would, but Mom and Dad are struggling right now and can't afford it. If it's a need then I'd tell him I can help you, but I can't send it all. He should be able to understand that instead of you just saying I can't

Queen

Hey I have no idea what you are going through, but I wanted to tell you hello and God will protect you. I know we sometimes get so caught up in our kids life's we kinda forget about our own. I would suggest getting involved with a group of some sort maybe a scrapbooking group or just getting together with your friends a couple times a week. I would also maybe pick up a self help book. You never know what you are going to face in life and I'm sorry for your loss. God has a plan for all of us maybe he is setting up your plan right now. Have a great day and if you need to chat sometime just let me know.