College Freshman Dropping Out Before School Starts

She will be fine. The worst thing you can do is to bring her home. Tell her if she is still wants to come home after her first semester she can come home. This is not forever. She is hardly the first freshman to feel this way.

Go back to her and call the registers office and have them send someone to speak with both of you.

This is not as unusual as you may think, but you need to hear what her reasons are and find support on the campus for her.

Maybe ask what their policy is for her to stay a few months to give it a try.

We do know a few students that came home after 1 semester.. they decided to stay closer to home for college. another that did not make it to campus because they discovered she had a eating disorder.. She took the first year off to go to rehab and is now taking it slowly..

This is the time to have a heart to heart and really have an honest conversation about what is going on. What her fears are and how these things can be worked through. . Just stay calm and listen carefully.

Sounds like she needs some encouragement. It is probably just overwhelming for her right now. Once things are not so new and she gets familar with the area and meets a few people she will probably feel different. She needs to give it some time before making any decisions. Don't let her do anything stupid mama :)

I think i would drive back there and have a meeting at a neutral place by the college and discuss what she can't handle. Find out what is bothering her - ask a few questions and let her talk. Questions for you mom: Has your daughter ever had this type of behavior before? Was she looking forward to starting college? Something is bothering her-she may just need reassurance or she may be in the wrong place at the wrong time. I would not let her just come home without exploring the reason for her panic.

My niece is a frosh at SUNY Plattsburgh this year, too. She'll be there Saturday. Send me a PM, maybe they can hook up.

:)

**She needs to talk to her advisor, they know how to handle it!

Tell her what she is feeling is common and that you'll see her over turkey dinner in November!

It could be culture shock. The school is upstate New York and Newark, NJ is a bit busier with activities. You have to figure in the fact that she does not know anyone and is all alone for the first time by herself. She didn't think it would be this way when she left but it has hit her that she is now on her own.

Do have a talk with her about what changed her mind and try to work through this transitional time in both of your lives.

I work at a university and went to the freshman orientation get together after move in on Saturday and it was quite crazy. There were new students who were with it and there were the new students that looked lost among the activities and it was packed.

Hang in there momma and keep us updated.

The other S.

You need to figure out what is going on. Ya know, the why. My daughter made a bad choice her freshman year. She wanted to go to LaSalle but settled for St John, big mistake!! It took her a little longer than your daughter but within a week she hated it! One nice thing about cross country she was stuck so I told her suck it up, learn what you can, figure out where you want to transfer to. She did her last three and a half years at Xavier, much better match.

Since you can't trap her in Jamaica like I did my daughter, find out what is going on, what she feels she needs, and scurry her to the community college! That way she can still transfer somewhere after the first semester. My daughter didn't get all the scholarships she would have going straight to Xavier but that she pushed through the first semester she still had a very good package.

Oh, I just realized this isn't obvious, she didn't like St Johns because it wasn't challenging, not because it was too much. When you come from one the top high schools, hearing from your professors that a 70% will yield you an A, you will freak! She was more afraid she was losing a semester where should could be learning. Other than that she loved New York!

I agree with Laurie A 110%. Colleges deal with this every year, even expect this to happen in a limited number of cases. They have people on staff that can help work through the issues here. Teenagers are just as prone to homesickness as younger kids are. I went into the military right out of highschool, as did about 75% of my Basic Training class and let me tell you the first 2 nights there were some kids that were so homesick I understood why they locked the doors at night! And we were still at the cushy reception center!

But, unless something drastic is revealed in the discussion, you have to remain firm that she needs to give this a few weeks before quitting altogether. Once she finds a friend, her outlook will change drastically.

Stay strong Momma!

sorry baby girl - you are 18 not 8. she needs to give it the old "college try" (maybe that's where that came from?) lol. she made a commitment, she signed papers, she is an adult now, she needs to act like it. i wouldn't say that so harshly but it's the truth. i'm surprised she'd even make the call. all of us have felt that way...doesn't mean you act on it.

Tell her to suck it up and deal. Yes, going away from home for the first time is overwhelming. Yes, she will have to study a lot harder than she did in high school. Yes, she will need to figure out the dorm's washers and dryers. Yes, she will have to balance her checkbook and get herself where she needs to be on time. But guess what? She has to do it. We all did it. She will survive. Tough love, mama.

Was her going to college away from home, discussed with her beforehand?

She said she "can't handle it..."
That is a thing to listen to... and talk with her to see what is really, going on.

College is so scary -- and I mean for the parents, not just the kids! Is this your first one going off to college?

I agree -- give her support, but don't give her the "out" she's looking for. She needs you to listen and to offer a hug but encourage her to honor this commitment to herself and keep an open mind. A dean at one of my girls' school suggests to new parents that they NOT let their child come home for at least 3 weeks.

For what it's worth, I can empathize. We're bringing my youngest to UNH on Friday. Even though she's the fourth one, my heart has been in my mouth as we've dropped off each child and this one is no different. There have been ups and downs for each girl, but we've managed to find our way through.

Hang in there! It will be OK.

In her defense, Plattsburgh is freaking cold!

Having said that, she's scared. She doesn't really want to come home. As others have said, support and encourage her, but don't go back up and get her. If you can... call or email her orientation leader and let that person know that she's having a tough time. This person will (or at least should) make an extra effort to get her involved and out of her dorm room.

If she's still miserable in the spring, she can apply to transfer. My guess is that she'll love it and want to go back! Good luck!

Its a huge adjustment. Don't pick her up. If you feel its really bad go get a hotel and spend a night or two with her. Tell her its going to take her about a month to get the hang of things. I agree with some one else who said call the registers office and have her speak to someone. Or the dean. You are getting a lot of bad advice so far. Don't cave, but don't dismiss her fears. I was left at boarding school and that first day was horrible. I couldn't stop crying I was so homesick. I agree this is not uncommon. She needs to meet a few people, and it will all improve once classes start she won't focus on her homesickness.

Sounds pretty typical. Like something I would have said my first day of college! Remind her she only has to survive one semester, not the resst of her life, then she can rethink everything. Ask her what the specific problems are and deal with them one at a time. Is she homesick, that will get better, does she hate her roommates -hasnt had time to get to know them yet, cant find her classes.... ask for help

tell her to stick it out, it gets better. When I moved to Okinawa to finish school I was scared and the first month I thought about coming home every day. After that I got used to it, and then started to love it. It takes time but it is now time for her to be a grown up and follow up with her responsibilities.

I called my mom after the first day of classes. She told me she'd come pick me up for a weekend at home after my first week.

I called her after three months, begging to come home. I was told I had to wait till the end of the semester.

I was then told i needed 60 credits to transfer. Needless to say, after three semesters I convinced my parents to let me come home. I was able to enroll in a local private college but then after 1 semester I went to the community college. I then transferred o the university I graduated from.

Let her come home for the weekend, discuss her fears with her, be compassionate and an empathetic ear. She may just need to express her fears. If she continues complaining, let her come home and go to community college. I hated the first university I attended, I knew immediately and it was literally the worst 1.5 years of my life.

What could there be to handle or not handle yet? She hasn't even spent the night and hasn't gone to a class yet. Did she express any anxieties before she left home? Mine isn't starting college til next year. I'd have her contact her RA or whomever on campus is in charge of freshman orientation so that they can help her to settle in. If you're getting a call within a couple of hours of leaving campus, my guess is a roommate issue, and her RA can help with this, if there needs to be a reassignment.

Have her tough it out for at least a couple of months. Before you know it, she'll make some friends and a crush or two. Don't let her quit! It will work out.

Is anyone bleeding or are there any broken bones? Is anything on fire?

She is panicked and anticipating homesickness. By now, she has met her dorm mates and will be fine.

College is a HUGE step in ones life. Urge her to study hard, eat sensibly and not to party too much.