Colleague Lost Full Term Baby

Send a card now.
Send a card in a few months.
Send a card a year from now... that's when most people forget and the pain of loss is excruciating...
The pain is real and it isn't going away.
This happened to a friend of mine - there were 3 of us who were pregnant at the same time. 2 had successful deliveries, the 3rd did not. We went to the funeral. It was awful!
She had a plate made with the baby's name (Thomas) and birthdate on it that hung in her kitchen next to the plate of her living child. Thomas will always be remembered.
There is nothing you can say that will make the grieving process any easier, but you can let her know that you remember and that you are thinking about her... that's probably the best gift you can give.
LBC

How horrible!
How about something like this:

"Keeping you and your family especially close in my thoughts and prayers at this difficult time. God Bless."

Just say I'm sorry. Nothing, nothing you have ever been through can compare to what she is going through unless you yourself have lost a child. You will touch her heart simply by saying I'm sorry or sending a card.

Really, I suggest just saying I am so sorry now and that is it. In a years time I suggest sending her a card for the angel babies 1st birthday just so you can say you remember. People hate it when people act as if the hurt should be in the past, you really never get over it. To have someone remember that isn't family is nice.

Just tell her that you are sorry for her loss. There's no words you can say that will make it better so it's best just to keep it simple and let her know your thoughts are with her and her family.

I would just find a nice card -maybe one that is blank inside -and write that you are thinking of her and her family at this time and you are sorry for their loss. Often it's the most simple gestures from people you don't know well that mean the most.

Hallmark does have generic sympathy cards you can send with prayers.

This is so nice of you. I would imagine that this will really touch her that you thought to send a card since you do not know her well. I still have every card that was sent to me when my son passed away. (He was 17 days old.) Many of these people I did not even know (friends of my parents, aunt and grandmother). I still believe that it was the kindness and support that came from others that got me through the worst of times. Another thing that really helped me was reading books about other parents that went through the death of a child. It made me feel so less alone because it is a very isolating tragedy when your child dies.

Another thought.... I actually bought a book for a teacher at my daughter's school when her husband passed although I only knew her through reputation. I felt a little funny sending it since she never even heard of me but I was so glad I did. She wrote back to me that this book helped her heal and was very much appreciated.

The book stores have a decent selection of books that deal with early infant death if you wanted to get her something too although I do not think it is necessary.

I like what Denise P. suggested. There's really nothing else to say but "I'm so sorry. Our thoughts are with you and your family."

Also, there's a great article by Rachel Zahn of Mamas On Call regarding what to do (and not do/say) in hard situations like these. I found it informative and found it again for you. Here's the link:

http://mamasoncall.com/2010/11/when-crisis-hits-say-this-...

Say that-"I don't know what to say"-"I am so sorry for the loss of your baby'. Do what you can-listen and have compassion. It happened to me-I had six children. My third child was born still on May 19, 1986. Today is my oldest sons birthday, he is 26 and his big sister is 27. My middle son will be 24 in July-the first 4 would be 24,25,26,and 27-then I have two grown children-19 and 21-they will soon be 20 and 22. When I lost my little son a woman likened my loss to the loss of her dog. I can't tell you how deeply that hurt-and not a day goes by that I don't think about my baby, but I was, after some time, able to go forward and be grateful for what I had-and I had two little children at home that needed me and depended on me. God bless you-and your dear colleague-she is not alone in her sorrow.

Keeping you and your family in our prayers and asking God to grant you the strength to survive this tragedy.