Coat for Young Neighbor?

Give the boy the coat directly.

There is no way my scatterbrained 7 year old could walk to school on her own but there are plenty of kids who do. It isn't considered unsafe if it is clearly within walking distance (1 mile in my school district) so complaining about the walking probably falls on deaf ears.

We had a neighbor child in a similar situation. No coat, too-small clothing, left home alone all the time. His mom was having some kind of personal crisis and was avoiding dealing with stuff.

The school was aware that something was going on. They gave him a nice winter coat and that seemed to snap his mom back to reality. She started paying attention, buying appropriate clothing, and taking more interest in her kid.

I'd say call child welfare and report it. The family would likely think it was the school reporting. it.

How about you have the coat on a morning when you walk with him and tell him that a relative gave your child the coat, but it's too big and you thought he might like it. This way, it's like you didn't know what to do with it and thought of him, since he's about the right size for it. It's passive/aggressive, yes, but at least he'll have the coat. If you leave it at the door, there's a chance the parents will take offense and he'll never get it. I think it's nice that you care enough for the kid to help him out.

It is inappropriate to complain to about a seven year old walking to school alone. A seven year old should be perfectly capable of walking to school alone. As for the coat, it would be a nice gesture to offer it to him or to his family, but I wouldn't be surprised if he has a coat at home. It is cold and snowing here too, but most of the kids, especially the boys, are not yet wearing coats. They are still in hoodies, and they don't even want to wear those out at recess. Many kids will tell an adult that they don't have a coat for fear that the adult will make them wear it!

Was your primary complaint that he walks to school alone when you reported his family to the school?

As far as the coat, ask him if he has one... Go from there. It's always dangerous to make assumptions.

ETA: I wouldn't allow mine, but kids walk to school alone all over the country every single day, there's nothing actionable there. Cut the tags off the new coat and bring it to him, or ask the school people to give it to him, very kind gesture.

Last year, when my youngest was 6 and in first grade, our neighbors asked what I thought about letting their son (same age, younger by two weeks) walk home alone. I flat out told them I thought it was crazy and we still get our kids off the bus...our oldest is in 6th grade and someone meets her daily. Either way...this year, he is getting off alone. It annoys the heck out of me, but I stand at my door and watch him walk the extra 5 houses to his - no matter what the weather. The only time they come get him is if it's raining.

He also never wears a coat, but because we are friends with this family, I know it's because he is ALWAYS hot. Literally, this boy sweats more than a grown man. He is always hot and rarely puts a jacket on. Not my problem. Not my bill if he gets sick, not my leave if they have to stay home to care for him, not my time at the doctor/pharmacy. It's their call...so they get to do what they want.

People raise their kids how they want to, and we don't get a say in it. Please just leave them alone. Do NOT call CPS on them, don't report them again. They are raising him how they want to. Unless he shows up with bruises all over or tells you there is no food and he's hungry, let them parent.

It is absolutely NOT against the law for your child to walk to school! What's wrong with a child walking to school. For pete's sake, when I went to school it was a rare child that was driven. I've seen posts about kids going outside during the winter and most of the responders who live in the northwest or on the east coast say they allow their children to play outside in weather at least that cold and in fact, most of the daycares still take the kids outside to play in 30 degree weather.

If I were you, I would take the coat to the school and let the school folks donate it to him. That way there are no awkward feelings between you and his family. And by the way, it is not against the law to be so poor you can't afford a coat.

Reporting these things does not reflect well on you.

Have you asked the boy if he has a coat? Or a pullover to wear on those chilly mornings? Walking alone is not a reason to call anyone, sorry. My kids walked alone because I equipped them with the knowledge and ability to do so. So, please don't make assumptions that he's being neglected.

I would encourage you, when you meet the boy in front of his door so he can walk with you and your son to school, that you send him back inside to get something to layer over his shirt. "Hey, kiddo, run inside and grab a sweatshirt or a jacket. It's a chilly morning. We'll wait right here for you."

ETA: Don't call CPS. FFS. It could be that his parents allow him to decide for himself if he's cold. That's not neglect, it's love and logic. He's 7, not 3.

Don't call CPS. He's not walking for miles, he's walking behind his home. I like Laura M.'s answer. It's a non-confrontational win-win. And you could put a note with it for the parent that says "family gave son coat-MUCH too big, thought your son might like it".

I am cold when it's 69 degrees. My husband and son are fine for a LOT cooler. He may not want to wear the coat since he's not going far, even if it's cold. The Love and Logic thing is natural consequences. When a kid's old enough to have an opinion about non-life or death things, you let them choose (no coat). If they DO get cold, they figure out they need the coat next time - no "put your coat on" battle.

I used to live in Colorado, and people frequently don't wear coats until its snowing. I've always wondered why people were in shorts and t shirts on cold days...but it happens. Kids were frequently underdressed on cold days and its almost part of the culture there. I think you should give the coat to a teacher and ask her to give it to the boy anonymously. I wouldn't jump to the conclusion that he is neglected.

Since you've asked and he says he doesn't have a coat, I'd give your spare coat to the school nurse and ask her to give it to him. I wouldn't leave a coat by the door - you have no idea what's going on with the parents. But towns have "coats for kids" programs all the time and if the parents assume he got one for free through some program, maybe they will let him wear it. If they do, then take a sharpie marker with you on the 3rd or 4th walk and just write his name inside. If you can find a hat and a pair of mittens on sale, tuck those in the pockets of the coat.

Thank you for watching out for him. It does "take a village," doesn't it?

I love your tender mama heart toward this boy! I agree with the suggestion to ask him if he has a coat. If not, you could give it directly to him, or you could bring it to the school office and they can give it to them.

Our church has donated coats, hats, gloves, socks and underwear to the local schools and the school distributes the items to the kid(s) that need them. It's a good way to avoid hard feelings between parents.

Skip notifying the school and call CPS if you're concerned about this child. The school can only report what they see, not what you're telling them.

Give him the coat on the walk tomorrow morning and make sure he knows he can keep it.

If you legitimately have a coat that does not fit your son and have let him borrow yours in the past, I would bring it along the next cold day, perhaps tucked into a bag and offer when you notice what he does or does not have. Have you asked if he has one he doesn't want to wear?

If you give him the coat, you can tell him that it is his now, or you can say, "You can borrow it as long as you need" and just never expect it back. Who did you talk to at the school? Do you know who his teacher is or have you talked to the counselor? They may be able to provide the coat to him if you think a direct gift of the coat would not be welcome from you.

I wouldn't be so concerned that he's walking alone (FWIW, my sister and I walked in elementary school by ourselves and my stepkids walked by themselves by 5th or 6th grade, if we didn't drop them off enroute) as much as he's not dressed for the weather. That is one of the things a local group looks for in our schools. Is this child wearing only a hoodie because it's fashionable or because that's all he has? And what community resources are there to get a coat to that child?

Some kids just refuse to wear coats.
If it's a short distance to school, he's there quickly and then he doesn't have to hang it up or remember it at the end of the day.
By the time they are in middle and high school - it's a bother to drag the coat around with you all day - and lockers are too small to hold coats - some schools are going lockerless and kids carry everything in a backpack all day.
I use to walk to school by myself at that age - either alone or with other kids.
I walked until 4th grade when we moved and the new house was too far from school to walk (too far for elementary school but high school was just a mile away - we walked that most of the time weather permitting).

Please meet his parents first and just mention you notice he hasn't worn a coat "Does he just not like wearing coats? I know some kids don't and you can't make them! If he needs/wants one I have a spare I'd like to give to him if it's alright with you.".
If you give him a coat - put HIS name in it so people know it's his, it's a gift and he didn't steal it - but he still might not wear it.
If you've talked to the school a few times already - do not call again.
It's nice you are concerned but if you called several times, it's been looked into and he's fine, people are eventually not going to take you seriously.
It's not your job to mother him.

i'm not sure i understand the complaints. that the boy is walking alone? for what distance?
or that he's not wearing a coat?
have you asked him if he'd like one?
khairete
S.

Give it to him directly.

A.,

Why not just bring an extra jacket tomorrow and say "here's a jacket for you."??

Please keep in mind that MY kids don't like to wear jackets. Since his parents don't walk him to the school or bus - it's possible that he takes it off and shoves it in his backpack. I don't know.

If you are concerned and have said something? Do what you can...give him a jacket..if you are concerned about food? Bring a granola bar with you.

You've already talked with the school. Other than calling CPS, there's not much you can do. Unless you are willing to go meet the parents and express your concern. I personally wouldn't call CPS. That's me though.

He is blessed that you're looking out for him. Good going Mama! :)

My son hated wearing coats. I stopped fighting him on it. I figured if he got cold enough he knew where they were in the house! He liked to "act" like he was not cold. Whatever dude! =) Its freakin' 25 degrees!

I like Laura M's answer. Act like its no big deal, your son can't wear it and you thought of him. Short, sweet and non embarrassing.

Thank you for caring for this young man. Don't interrogate him but ask probing questions. Right now, I wouldn't contact CPS.

I walked to and from school at that age. Our school was just under 2 miles away. Sometimes I would get a ride and sometimes I would refuse the ride if I was not getting along with my friends. If I refused the ride, that often meant I walked by myself. It was a bit lonely and a little scary.

Good for you! Glad some people are paying attention.last year I volunteered in my daughters Kidnergarten class. One girl consistently came in under/overdressed. I had met the mom and heard A LOT of rumors about the family. When she came in with a big hole in her shirt I went home and gathered up as many of my kids clothes that they could spare-and would fit her. After school I handed it to her babysitter and explained my kids had outgrown them. Made me feel good when I saw her wearing them.
I'm rather surprised with al, of tge responses to not call CPS. Not sure if you had mentioned that-but that is what CPS is for. Go visit, do a wellfare check. No biggie. As long as you are observing signs that concern you.
There are a lot of kids in bad spots and WAY too many ppl calling CPS over domestic battles (custody etc). I wouldn't hesitate to call if I was concerned. But if a bag of clothes or a coat solves the situation-then I'd do that first!

What are you wanting the school to do about the parents now that a warm coat is no longer an issue?

People here have repeatedly responded that they are okay with letting their child walk alone.

Leave it. You have gotten it off your chest and to the school. You have given the coat. You have done your part. You were kind to do so.