Co-sleeping Help

First of all, I didn't co-sleep the entire time but that was out of fear of SIDS. He did start sleeping with us when he was a little older though. (about a year old) and then I kept him in a crib in our room until he was 2 1/2.
Don't let anyone tell you that you've done anything wrong!! You've given your son a strong sense of security and I have seen many kids whose parents were "tough lovers" and those who did some form of attachment parenting. As teenagers, those who started out close with their parents have stayed close and talk to their parents more than those that haven't. They have been less likely to get into trouble and less likely to rebel too. They're kids are very good, well adjusted, young adults. The tough lovers kids (that I know) have gotten poorer grades, have a lower self esteem (one of them cuts herself) and aren't very secure with themselves. You're not disappointing him at all, you're loving him and I praise you for it!

Now, my son had a bunk-bed and we created a "camping area" out of it and I told him he'd be camping tonight. (as I said, he was in his crib, in our room so he wasn't co-sleeping when we moved him but he was used to being in the room with us) I got a little toy lantern and set up "supplies" by his bed. (glass of water) and I put nature sounds on a sound machine outside.
I told him as a big boy, he was going to be camping out alone but if he needed us, we'd be in the next room.
He loved it and wanted to be in his "tent" every night.
If you have the room (which we didn't at the time) set up an actual 1 person tent in his room with a sleeping bag.
So basically, I'd show him that having his own room and own bed can be fun. It worked for us and it worked the very first night. :)
BTW, he's 12 now (12 1/2 actually) and he's very well adjusted, strong self esteem and in accelerated GT with good grades. :)

Hello,
We too practiced co-sleeping with all of our sons. It takes time, be patient, yet firm. Try to make the bed/room inviting.
May-be some incentive such as special big boy sheets, blanket, or sleeping buddy (stuffed animal).
I think the important thing is to not make it stressful, whic causes more anxiety and not so great results.
Stay encouraged

The best advice I ever got from my best friends Mom is don't worry about it. When they are ready to sleep on their own they will. But this is what I do with my son...I let him fall a sleep in my bed then move him into his. He sometimes gets up and comes back which I justr let him and don't make a big deal about it. If its any consolation my son is 4 and still doesn't sleep on his own but we are still working on it. My Mom and Aunty's always remind me that it took me a long time before I slept on my own and now as an adult I love sleeping alone. H. this helps.

I am a big believer in co-sleeping as well. I think being patient is HUGE. Maybe let him know as soon as he falls asleep in his own big boy bed, when YOU go to sleep you will come get him to get in your bed.... Maybe taking him and getting him a 'special' airbed and putting on the floor next to you..... slowly move it closer and closer to the door, even making it's way into the hallway if needed.... This might sound strange, but my hubby and i also tried this a few times...... If you have an 'extra' bed in your house..... let your little guy go to bed in your bed, and you and your hubby excape to 'the guest' room! It actually can be a nice change of pace!! When he is ready, you will know. Just try to put yourself in his shoes.... he has slept with mommy and daddy his whole life in a big comfy cozy bed!!! Of course he will resist! Whateve method you go with remember....Lots of hugs, encouragement and praise will do wonders all on their own!

Hi C.,

We spent a lot of time talking to our son about how cool it is to have your own room and own bed. We also let him pick out his sheets and bring whatever toys he wanted to bed with him.

This worked great until he got sick recently and he started needing us at night again, but for a while he was pretty independent. We're going to start working on it again once he's 100% better again.

Does Mikey have any cousins or friends around his age who sleep in their own beds? It might help to let him see their rooms when he's over at their houses so that he can know that it's okay, other kids do it too.

I've also heard that some kids just decide to go to their own beds. I think the people who have those kids are just lucky. ;)

Good luck and hang in there. He'll be through this before you know it.

The exact same thing happened with my first child, my daughter. However, she finally would sleep in her own bed at 3 years old. We did everything just as you did. Just one day, she said she's a big girl and stayed in her own room. (yes, we had already gotten her her own "special" girly bed and all the accessories when she was 2 years old etc.) It was a spontaneous "decision" on her part. Prior, she co-slept with us, on a floor futon, in our room. I had to lay next to her initially, until she fell asleep. Then I would creep out, as you do. Then, the next phase was she would just lie down on the floor futon by herself, and I would just sit in the bedroom and "read" on a chair until she fell asleep. Then, next phase, she would just tell us she was tired and wanted to sleep and she would go in the bedroom and lie down on her own and fall asleep. Hooray we thought! Then, next phase, she is finally in her own bedroom and sleeps in her own bed.
Yes, phases. Each child is different. They want to be close to their parents. My girl said she was scared of the dark (yes we had a night light for her and her own girly flashlight to keep in bed with her)... but I guess she finally got over that phase and now sleeps by herself in her own bed to this day. Phew!
I don't know what to suggest, but you will get lot of opinions here. Perhaps talk with him and explain feelings and comfort him so he feels more confident in sleeping by himself. That's what we did too. At his age, they understand.
Good luck,
~Susan
www.cafepress.com/littlegoogoo

Maybe you can put his bed in your room first. THen he is in the room with you if he needs you but not in your bed.