Clueless on Disciplining 15 Month Old

Dr. Sears has excellent advice for this. Good luck, I know it's frustrating!:

http://www.askdrsears.com/topics/discipline-behavior

My 16 month does the exact same thing and as hard and inconvienant as it is, I completely remove her from the situation, sit her down and tell her no hitting, no screaming, etc.

The hitting was getting bad as my husband thought it was cute at first but she is getting vicous with it and loves the reaction she gets from it. For the last month if she hits I grab her hand and say in a firm voice "No hitting, that hurts", usually as soon as I let go she hits again and that is when I make her sit just until she realizes that she is removed and it is no fun where she is. I then tell her again no hitting that hurts. I usually have to do this several times a day, however I have noticed her hitting less and less as time goes on.

It's been my experience that such behavior in a public place can only be handled by leaving. There is too much stimulation and the toddler is overwhelmed and I become overwhelmed quite quickly with the behavior.

As to hitting you, this is normal and it just takes time and consistent repetition of you stopping him and saying "no hitting" for him to learn.

Babies are not consistent in their responses. One thing works one time and the next it doesn't. Blame it on being human. lol It's just the way it is. Over time, both the toddler and the parent learn and life can be more consistent but there really are too many variables to make life 100% consistent.

You'll learn over time what works. Be kind to yourself. You are doing the best you can do. Sounds like you're on the right path.

One book that others have found helpful. I found it too late for me to use. Is 1-2-3 Magic. I'm a big fan of Love and Logic by Foster and Cline. I think they have a book appropriate to toddlers.

At this age I just try to keep the kid busy. My aunt said that when she had 3 all close to this age she brought snacks and let them eat it in the cart while she shopped. I also put my little kids in the cart and I try to make it kind a fun. If they do throw a fit, I leave the store. When I get home the child or children that were naughty have to go to bed and the other kids get to watch a movie. I try to stay really positive and make sure there is some kind of reward for the good behavior, even if it’s just smiles and a great job for being good. So if you walk in the store with no issues, reward that behavior just by saying thank you for being such a great boy. Then wait a little bit longer and again reward the good behavior. One time my son was misbehaving and I started acting like I was crying. He stopped what he was doing and asked me why I was crying. He is my trouble kid, but has a big heart ;) So I told him that because he was being naughty he hurt my heart and that made me cry. He stopped the bad behavior and was good for the rest of the day! Good luck!

My 15 month old is usually well-behaved and pleasant company, so when he does act up like this I generally attribute it to one of two things: he's tired and needs a nap immediately (or at least quiet time), or he's hungry and needs a good snack (protein, not sugar). I honestly don't think he can control his behavior and stick it out if he is tired or hungry - too young for that kind of reasoning.
As for hitting, mine does the same thing, laughs and hits. I haven't decided what to do about it so I have been ignoring it (the more I respond the more he does it) but his dad will grab him and remove him, which makes him cry. I try to "change the subject" and distract him, get out of his way, etc. I am going to look up Supernanny and Dr Sear's advice on this now too!

If you haven't checked it out, you should read "The Happiest Toddler on the Block." This book is great at explaining what your child understands and how he thinks during ages 1-4. It provides a lot of insight and can give you strategies that help the concepts make sense to a 15 month old.

Regardless if you use the strategies in that book or elsewhere, I agree with the need for consistency (at home, out in public, anywhere). For example, you mention that he hits your face when happy or angry. Hitting isn't appropriate at any time (even more so between a son and his mother), so your response to him should be the same regardless of his motive.

If you have been inconsistent in the past, it is going to take a while until he understands that this is the new way of doing things. You will need to stick with it. It takes a lot of effort and hard work to be consistent (especially at the times when you are busy, stressed, tired, and just don't want to), but it really does pay off.

FYI, another strategy we used when going to the store with our son was to always let him walk beside the buggy or holding my hand. This does a few things: 1) he isn't confined and likes the freedom; 2) it wears him out; 3) if he acts up by grabbing things or running off, the response was to take away the freedom by making him ride in a buggy until he can settle down. This will mean that you may spend more time in the store than expected, but adding an extra five minutes may make it a better experience for both of you. :-)

Best wishes! I hope you figure out what works best for you!

with each & every one of these discipline questions, I always recommend the "1-2-3 Magic" video. It works, it saves families.

My older son was 12 when I first watched the video with my DH. Our son passed thru the room, stopped in his tracks, & said, "good luck getting me to cooperate with that. It might work on (little bro), but it's too late for me". Aaaargh....but the reality was that it did work for all of us....& still does!

Recently, I was outside with one of my daycare families & I did the "1-2-3" count to my younger son (he was almost 15 at the time). .....OMG the other Mom & I were hysterical when I realized what I was doing! But it worked, even tho' he was totally embarrassed! Good Luck!

Love and Logic have lots of fun ideas. We started using Love and Logic when he was 15 months old! He is 4.5 years now and we still love the techniques! I really recommend you look into it b/c it will help you figure out what discipline to do for MANY things as your child grows up.

A lot of that is his age and that he doesn't know how to wait for something he wants, he wants it right NOW. He also doesn't have the communication skills to tell you that he wants that right now so he throws a fit for it. Tell him "I know you want out, but in here you need to stay in the stroller" and go on with your shopping. If he hits tell him " I don't like to be hit, I would rather have a hug" and give him a hug. A strong authority voice helps when they are beginning to throw fits. My grandson is about the same age and he would start to throw a fit and I would say "No fits allowed here" and he would stop and look at me like "Does she mean it?" then he would start and I would make the "AAA" sound and he would stop. Soon he would go on to something else and forget the fits. My granddaughter liked to hit when she was that age and I would just tell her "Grandma doesn't like to be hit, she likes hugs better" and I would get a hug. There was a time in a store she hit again and I just turned my back to her. This really drove her crazy and it ended the hitting. When my own kids were young I would count to 3 and if they didn't stop misbehaving by 3 I would take them to the restroom and give them a swat. That was more acceptable then as compaired to now though. I hardly ever had to swat my children, they would straighten up by 2 because they didn't want to get to three.

Apparently this is bothering you enough to want it to stop or you would not have exposed the situation.

1. What is your first thought when he is responding in this manner
2. Where is his dad, can dad watch him when you are doing activites that his behavior just will not fit.
3. How are you handling things at home when he acts up?
4.Figure out how yo want him to act, compliment the desired behavior in all settings, and use a consistant/constant response for unwanted behavior.

This must have been going on for a while because the slaps he does to your face are becoming more of an actual hit by your description. If he is an olny child, your baby of the family, your first child, your single child......whatever the role he is in, YOU have to decide how you want him to act. Do not give him excuses so you dont have to feel guilty for making him behave.
Like my Granny always said
"You can fix it now, or wish you HAD later.
Later might be at the police station or morgue".

Try not to think "discipline." Think guidance. Discipline is for situations when a child willfully AND knowingly does something naught. 15 months can be willful, but I doubt he's doing naughty stuff "knowingly."

Guidance at 15 months means consciously pointing out proper behavior in your son and in other people the two of you encounter together.

For example, whenever you see Henry share, use a non-whiny voice, be gentle when petting the cat, whatever, say out loud, "What a good boy to share!" or "I like it when you ask for things like a big kid." or "I like to see boys petting cats so gently. Etc.

Don't be afraid to compliment other peoples' kids within Henry's earshot. Your son (most kids) want to hear their own mom say something positive about them, so your son should figure out soon that if he wants your positive attention, then he needs to act like the kid you're complimenting.

If you see a trouble situation that needs correcting, make sure to instantly to redirect his attention. For example if you see him simultaneously playing with peanut butter and your $500 Ipad, give him 2 other more appropriate objects at hand that he may like to play with. No yelling or discipline at this point. Just "That's Mom's and this stuff here is yours!" And smile!

It's a tough age but just keep on focusing on the positive and you'll get there!

Watch a couple of Supernanny episodes to learn her techniques...I think she even has a book to help parents. Good luck!