My son had a cleft lip, they had missed it on the 1st sonogram but caught it on a second. They didn't know if he had a cleft palette until he was born; luckily for us he did not. His first surgery to fix the lip was at 10 months at Hershey Pa. It was late because they were "behind" because of all the patients they had. I did breastfeed until 5 1/5 months. That worked well because my nipple could "mold" into his cleft lip and allow him to get good suction. After I quit breastfeeding, I got bottles with nipples that had bigger holes so the breastmilk or formula came out easier. I also found with sippy cups I had to get the ones that did not have or I took out the anti-leaking piece because he could not get enough suction on the plastic tip. My son had a second surgery at 3 to straighten up the scar and remove some of his lip (he looked like he had a fat lip because of the extra tissue on one side of the cleft). The first surgery was of course the worst because he was so young, but it was done as an out-patient. Luckily before the surgery in the waiting room, there was a girl about his same age that he played with... he could not eat or drink before the surgery and after we went back and before the gave him "the drug" he was quite cranky. "The drug" is a simple drink that makes them.... drunk almost. It made it so they don't remember anything afterward and my son just went to the nurse who carried him back to the surgery which made the separation easier for him and us. They gave him the same drug before his surgery at 3 too and he again went right with the nurse and didn't have any problems with stress on his part. After the first surgery, he was very fussy, but I sang the song I sing to him at bedtime over and over while rocking him and that helped. When we took him home we had a 3 hour drive home.... that was long. Once we got home, again the bottles with nipples that let milk come out easily worked just fine. We popped in Thomas the Train, his favorite show, and he settled right down. They had also put plastic tubes in his nose and actual stitched right through his nose to hold them in place. After a day or two, that was actually the worst part. Of course then there was the day (since he was 10 months, he was pulling himself up and walking furniture) he slipped and bashed his mouth on the furniture and it started bleeding... Overall, I think it's harder on the parents than the children. The drug they give them lessens their stress before and after the surgery considerably and then the pain relievers afterward help them. Unfortunately I don't have any experience with the palate, but hopefully some of my experiences can help you too. Good Luck and congratulations.