Clean up Time

Naughty box, good idea, but it would not work well with my kids because they would know they could get them back. What I do is if they do not clean up, I pick some things that I do not want them to have anymore and give them to a thrift store, where kids who will lve their toys, clothes can have them. That works great.

Help her clean them up. She is 4!! Personally, I think it's a bit much to have her doing so much around the house.

When my two were around that age we were still using labels on everything, I had shelves covered with little shoe box sized bins with labels (word and picture) for blocks, doll clothes, etc. I was also still helping out when it came time to clean up after playing. It was important for us to stay on top of messes by cleaning up at least once an hour. We called them Ten Second Tidy's (Stolen from a PBS kids show) We'd clean for one minute, really well, at least once an hour. You'd be amazed at how much you can get done in one minute when you're tidying up every hour or so. The kids thought it was fun to rush around and the bins helped keep everything neat and clean... not to mention easy to find. As they grew up the bins lost their labels and I slowly stopped helping out but the kids are still doing great at cleaning up... they have their moments, but for the most part they stay on top of it. About once a month or so we all go through the toys (and clothes) too and get rid of anything that's broken, not used, too small, etc. This helps keep the bulk down. The kids got involved pretty young with pulling out toys that they don't use very often and putting them in the "give away box." The toys in there had to be in good shape but then we brought them to the local shelter and donted them. They even amazed me on a few occasions donating new toys "so that the other little boys and girls would have something new to play with." It was hard a couple of times to watch a brand new barbie my daughter had just received for her birthday or a truck for my son go straight to the box but it was also nice to know they were learning to give too. They started doing this at around your daughter's age. You've gotten a lot of great ideas, hopefully with the various suggestions you'll find the things that will work best for your family.

The problem that I'm seeing with your version of the naughty box is that she still has a lot of toys left over.

I think it's time to do a full clean out... remove any toys that are overly worn or too young for her, and then give her 10 toys back... and only ten. If she can keep them put away neatly for a week, you can give her 5 more with the same conditions.
After a while, you will see what her level of appreciation and attention is to her toys. If she has too many, she gets too distracted to clean... and you removing them doesn't matter... she always has more.

Start with a clean slate... and hopefully it will stay clean.

I have been very lax in that area lately but for a while I did have a technique that was working. First of all I eliminated ALOT of unused toys from my kids room. I did this slowly while they weren't looking. I had a big box (a clothing box from a moving company) in an out of the way place. The box was tall enough that my kids couldn't see inside. While I was cleaning I would come across toys that were broken or missing pieces, in the box they went. Toys that really didn't get played with got tossed in the box. When the box was full it got closed up and taken away. It was gradual over about a month. The kids never even noticed.
Then I went through and gave EVERYTHING a home. I used some plastic drawers and made several simple bags to put their things in. On the plastic containers I taped pictures of the things that belonged in that drawer. This way the kids know where everything goes. As a start to the kids evening routine they would go around the house with one of those huge buckets putting all their toys in the bucket. We would then take the bucket into the bedroom and the kids would put each item in its place. Life was so much easier then! I am actually getting back on track starting first thing tomorrow morning. Good Luck, I hope this helps.

Try to use a timer to. My 4 y/o girl HATES when I set the timer. You may also want to use rewards. Start off "big" and as she gets the hang of it ease down to little things and eventually none at all. You could set up a chart if she cleans her room every day for a week or two you and her can do something special together or she can get a new book (since she has so many toys I would stay away from offering a new toy). You can also try incorperating it with her bedtime routine. She cleans her room before she goes to bed. This may mean starting bed time 1/2 hour to 45 min. earlier but you can lessen that as time goes on.
Good luck
S.

I have run into the same problems with my 4 yr old son. First thing is to evaluate the toys in her room. Does she play with them or just dump them on the floor trying to get to other things - is it too much? I know you mentioned rotating stuff out which is great. Second - make sure the chore is simple by working with her to identify everything's "home", don't make this too complex. I recommend those plastic drawer carts you can get at target ($10-$25 depending on size). You can then put pictures of the drawer's residents on the outside or she can decorate it with her favorite stickers, for example, one of my son's drawers is for his cars, so we got stickers from the "Cars" movie to decorate that drawer with. The drawers are removable so they can carry it to the living room or other play area and then simply clean it up into the bin and carry it back to the cart. There are several other bin systems - if you look around Target they have lots of canvas bins that are colorful and attractive. I also use a timer to keep him on task when it's clean-up time. Is it just her toys or are clothes/shoes a problem too? If clothes/shoes are a problem too, make sure she knows where everything goes, specifically. Also, make sure your expectations aren't too high as this will just make you both upset. We use a "Mommy Box" rather than a naughty box, but basically the same thing - toys that aren't cleaned up once the order has been given go into the mommy box for 2 weeks. I think most kids have a problem with this because they have so much stuff. Consider cleaning out some of the stuff you don't notice her playing with and put it in your closet or garage - if she doesn't notice it's missing within six months, take it to Once Upon a Child or Goodwill. Hope this advice helps, I know how frustrating this can be!

The first thing that I want to point out is that while it's great to teach kids to help out it is also important to remember that a big mess to you is an even bigger mess to a child, and they definitely get intimidated. Therefore I think it is best to offer some help and not make them do all the work. Even if you help at a slower rate so that they still do a majority then it makes them feel better and more willing.
I also want to add that I always make clean up time a game and not as much of a chore. One of my favorites (and theirs) is that I will tell the kid(s) I am going to set a timer(or we all count) and let's see if we can get this mess cleaned up before the clock runs out or before I get to #...
I personally feel that by making clean up time more positive it will in turn modivate them.
Hope this helps!

S.,

With all the craze of "reduce clutter, clean your mess" fad, there are now a ton of mothers who refuse to let their children BE children. There is all this pressure to turn everyone into a micro-Martha Stewart, to make all houses just as cookie-cutter generic as a sterile hotel room. HOMES are supposed to be LIVED IN, not merely LOOKED AT.

My advice? Continue to encourage your daughter with cleaning the public parts of the house, but get rid of the Nazi-induced "Naughty Box" and close her door. Set a couple sound ground rules, like absolutely no molding food under the bed, and clothes must find their way to the hamper once every week, and then leave her alone. If you really want it cleaned up (like before Grandma comes over), then go in and clean with her, while you chat and you can explain why you are putting books on the shelf and she can help you, etc. and it can be a pleasant event together instead of a screaming match. If toys get broken beyond repair, have a gentle talk with her and then throw it out with the additional kind explanation that you cannot now get her a new one.

I wish you and your daughter all the best, and hope you can find a way to relax a little with your child. It is so much nicer to learn one's own rules instead of having everything dictated. In a short time, she may establish her own system of keeping clean if you give her a chance.

Best wishes,
K.

There is a lot of good advice here and I agree you need to go through her toys right now and not wait, anything in bad shape needs tossed and the things she doesn't play with can be put away and rotated back and forth or can get donated to children who have so much less than the rest of us. after that organization is the key. us clear containers or pictures so your child knows what goes where, toy boxes are great for things like dolls and such, i have shelves in my toy room and lots of clear totes and the kids know where everything goes, because they can see it allonce a month i go throuhg everything and sort out things that might not have gotten put where they belong but for day to day cleaning the kids do it all, and I babysit so there are a lot of kids. using a bucket to transport toys back to the bedroom is great to saves trips and makes it easier for your little one to gather everything up and put it away. good luck.

If she is not taking care of her toys you got to keep up with the naughty box. I disagree with she is only 4 and is doing to much. I do the naughty box with my almost 2 and 3 year old and it works now it took almost taking every toy from them for them to realize it but once they did is works great. Keep up with it. I really like the other moms advice with the bins with labels I think I am going to try that it sounds more organized. I think the main thing that has taught my children is for a while I would help/show them what to do with there toys but once they picked up on it I stopped having to fight with them. Now don't get me wrong I still have to use the naughty box but not as much. I think it is great that you are teaching your child to take care of her things and learn to respect them that way she will learn to appreciate what she has also the cleaning thing my son who is 3 helps with laundry(of course he wants to throw everything in the washer)but he likes to help mommy with everything from dishes to vacumming and I think it is great because when he gets older I expect him to continue doing this it sets great values in a child and you are doing a great job just keep with it and keep with the naughty box even if you have to take every toy away. I would also go through them and get ride of old, worn, broken toys they just clutter. Good luck

Kids need chores! My 9 year old does his own laundry, and he and his 6 year old brother clean their bathroom, along with their room. They scrub toilets and all. The 9 year old even knows to seperate the colors from the whites! It's all in what you teach them. If you teach her that cleaning up is important, she will learn that. It may take a while, and you do have to be consistent. You have to follow through on your threats, as well. If you have to remove EVERY single toy, then you must. Don't give in on this. When she does do it, lay on the praise! Don't go right behind her and straighten up what she missed, though. (She'll get the message that what she did wasn't good enough). You can do it when she's not looking.:) Don't expect perfection. She is 4. But by no means is that too young to do chores! I suspend privleges when mine don't do what they're asked. That works well as they get older. Good luck.

My girls is 2 years old...I'm trying to put the idea of cleaning up after herself. So I figure if she see me cleaning all the time...she might just start. You can also talk to they about cleaning up.

Hi S.,
I just love the Nanny show too. I have used many things she has on her show. Like you said, not everything works at least not for all of us.
My duaghter just leaves a train of mess everwhere she goes. I get after her to pick it up. I have now gotten to the point where I started to take away only the toys that are her favorites or taking away things she likes to do like watch videos. She is 3 and things are finally starting to sink in. She know if I have to tell her more than three times to do something she will lose something she likes.
She lost the use of her finger paints and paper for a week.
Now she keeps them picked up when she is done using them. She even has me make sure the lids are on tight so they don't dry up. Now if I can just get her not to eat playdoe the world would be right again.
Anyway I would try that or maybe a stronger version of what Nanny does. How long do you keep the itmes? Maybe the toys are not gone enough to make an impact. Maybe not the right toys. Take things that will have an impact. Favorite bear or something.

My, almost 4 year old, daughter has the same issue at home...unfortunately for me, she doesn't do this at preschool. Go figure. I spoke to her teacher on Friday about her acting out this way and she suggested "asking" if anyone wants to be a "big helper". She says that kids love being "Helpers" and it doesn't seem like work to them. It worked a few times for me, but she still likes to leave her stuff around and not pick up. So, if you find anything else, let me know too...lol!

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plus, if you yourself need a boost to do your own housework, check out flylady.com, they are both related sites, but I swear to you, my house has gone from CHAOS to more than livable.