Children Will Not Eat Anything Adequate

My question would be why do they know what a fruit loop is? My kids have never been allowed to have them. Stop giving them the junk food and only offer fruit and veggies. When they are hungry enough they will eat it.

I went through this also. I decided to make up strange names and cut items differently to see if they would eat them. Taking chicken nuggets, I cut 3 slits in one end, cooked them and told the kids they were "monkey toes". Chicken soup became "Chicken bone soup". They even started renaming everyday items such as peanut butter was "nut gut spread". Have fun with the names of things and make them wonder what you are serving them. The game continues....

For one you could stop making the foods you don't want them to eat available. We stopped buying cereal and cookies so it just wasn't in the house. It's not a choice.

Offer them a variety of good foods and start off by letting them eat whatever they want of the good foods. As long as it's good for them, who cares, right?

If they want none of the good foods...well then eventually they'll be so hungry they'll pick one. They won't starve to death and you can't break down and offer them cheese in a can if you don't have any, right? Ignore their drama, they are just trying to manipulate you. YOU are the parent!

The other thing we do is we get a NEW food and we tell our daughter she can't have any, it's only for grown-ups (she never wants to try new food). Then we enjoy the food. She ALWAYS asks for some and we say "no, I don't think you'll like it." when she insists on trying it (and she always does) she usually likes it and wants some of her own. We give her a little. If we gave her some to try in the first place she'd refuse and when we did make her try some she'd say she didn't like it no matter what.

ah, kids!

Hi M.,
I hate to sound this way but I think that you should not give in and give them what THEY want to eat. You should make your meals accourding to how you want and think they should eat. If they dont eat it then they dont eat. Their not going to starve. If their hungry theyll eat. By you giving in and giving them what they want they automatically know that they dont have to eat what you put in front of them. Im sorry if I sound so harsh but thats what I would do. Good luck!

M., You need to first take control back from the kids lol. It's a power struggle and your letting them win. Don't buy anymore junk food. Get healthy snacks and meals and stick to them. I have found its easier to get kids to eat vegetables if you give them dip. and fruits if you peel them. (apples, oranges, pears etc) Give them small portions of things and stick to your guns. they won't starve and if there hungry they will eat. just make the meal time and don't give them any snacky junk in the middle. It will be hard for a couple days till they figure out your not giving in. but is worth it when they eat healty and stay healthy.
S.

Like everyone else says, you need to get rid of the goldfish and the other junk food you have.

There are a few books out there about making healthy food that kids like, but I can't remember the names of them. One is by Jessica Seinfeld. Maybe it's something like Deceptively Delicious? You need to get them to eat healthy food now, because it's harder to do later.

One thing we do at our house is "no thank you" tastes. Even if I'm serving something they don't like they have to have a "no thank you" taste which is about 2 or 3 spoonfuls.

It's ok if they aren't big eaters, believe me, it will change. My 14 year old is constantly eating and still wearing slim pants!

Stop worrying about being nice and let them know that you are the mom and you are in charge of their health and changes are being made. They will put up a fuss, but if you stick to it, they will realize that you mean it.

Good luck!

Ellen P. - right on; great advice!

If you don't want them eating junk, don't buy it. It really is that simple. Now, you don't want to go all control-freak on them and never let them have treats or snacks; what you do want to do is make them special occasion or once in a while treats. Go through your cabinets and refrigerator and clear out the junk.

As far as meals are concerned, try getting them involved in the planning or the preparation if possible. Give them their meal at dinner time. If they don't eat it or 'aren't hungry', fine. Package it up and put it away for when they are hungry to give to them as their snack. They won't starve, remember that. They might try to argue or cry or make you feel like a bad mother, but do you want to give up on establishing healthy eating habits just to appease them?

You are not a short-order cook nor are you a sous chef that has to give in to the whims of your babies! Set some (reasonable) expectations for meal times such as:
-we eat together as a family
-everyone tries at least as many bites as their age for each item
-have a predictable routine of a breakfast, snack, lunch, snack, dinner, with obvious flexibility when needed

Good luck to you!

There is a great book by William G Wilkoff, MD called Coping with a Picky Eater that every parent or provider of kids should read and have a copy of. http://www.amazon.com/Coping-Picky-Eater-Perplexed-Parent...

This book has what I call the Picky Eater Plan. I have used this plan with kids that literally threw up at the sight of food and within 2 weeks they were eating normal amounts of everything and trying every food.

First you need to get everyone who deals with the child on board. If you are a provider it's ok to make this the rule at your house and not have the parents follow through but you wont' see as good results as what I described up above.

The plan is to limit the quantities of food you give the kid. When I first start with a child I give them literally ONE bite worth of each food I am serving. The book suggests that every time you feed the kids (breakfast, morning snack, lunch, afternoon snack, dinner) you give all 4 food groups. So, for lunch today I would have given the child one tiny piece of strawberry, one spoonful of applesauce, 3 macaroni noodles with cheese on them, and 2 oz of milk. Only after they ate ALL of what was on their plate would you give them anything else. They can have the same amounts for seconds. If they only want more mac and cheese, they only get 3 noodles then they would have to have more of all the other foods in order to get more than that. If they don't eat, fine. If they don't finish, fine. Don't make a big deal out of it, just make them stay at the table until e sat at the next meal and they only get what you serve. When I first do this with a child I don't serve sweets at all. So no animal crackers for snack but rather a carrot for snack. Or one of each of those. I don't make it easy for them to gorge on bad foods in other words. Now if they had a meal where they ate great then I might make the snack be a yummy one cause I know they filled up on good foods.

Even at snacks you have to limit quantities of the good stuff or else they will hold out for snack and just eat those snacky foods. I never give a picky eater the reward of a yummy snack unless they had that great lunch prior to it.

It really is that easy. ((This was written for other providers of home daycares, but I am sure you can get the info from it. It's just easiest for me to keep it as a document and cut and paste it as needed as this question is frequently asked))

First off, foods that you don't want them to eat - don't offer. Secondly, offer a variety. If you have picky eaters, don't offer more than one different food a day. Even if they don't like it today, offer it again in a week or month.

Don't get in the habit of offering foods, feeling sorry for them when they don't eat them, then offering other foods. Let them eat or not eat what's on the menu. Ask them to eat just a biteful of everything so that they are always trying new foods. Be a good example to them, also. Eat healthy snacks and don't snack all the time. If snacks aren't in the house - they can't eat them. And don't encourage grazing. Even if it is a healthy snack, it should fall into a mealtime or snack time schedule. Eating between meals becomes troublesome because, if they know they WON'T like the meal... they can load up beforehand. Lunch (and especially dinner) is not just all about eating, as they get older, it becomes a time to catch up on everybody's day. Kids will go through phases where they may eat the same thing over and over again. That doesn't mean that you should stop offering variety... Smoothies for lunch, buttered noodles, string cheese, pizza bagels. Offer different textures and varieties and something will eventually stick. No, your kids won't starve - they will eventually eat. Good luck.

Please please please DO NOT play this game. YOU are the parent. Unless there is a medical reason for a restricted/specific diet make your meal and let them "starve". I guarantee after a few days they will get the hint that you're not going to be their short order cook. they will not actually starve. give them choices - to eat what is presented or wait until the next offering. This is a battle of the wills and YOU need win and win decisively! Teach them NOW. Yours takes a stronger will than theirs. If you don't, this is the beginning of the end. Be the parent. YOU are in charge, lovingly and w/o anger. Matter of fact. I'll be praying for you. This takes courage, strength, perseverence, and a vision for their future. See the end and start to build it now. xo

My boys are a little older, but we found (in addition to the great advice below about simply not having snacky, junky food in the house) is that my older one LOVES sauces. he likes spicy sauce, bbq sauce, hot sauce and devours his food with just a little bit of sauce (it is NOT drenched). My little guy is opposite. The plainer the better. Plain chicken (not even a little pepper or parsley), naked noodles (I get Barilla in the yellow box that has the Best Life label), apple sauce. Sometimes I can toss a little tomato sauce on the noodles - I don't ask, just do it. And don't buy into the drama. Good luck!

M.
Small children do better with smaller more frequent meals. Snacks can be nutritious too. Cut up fruit and veggies nuts and seeds are all snacks but pack in nutrition. I would try making the snacks more in line with what you would like to to eat. For meals I also give the kids their vegggies first when they are most hungry. sliced carrots,red,yellow green peppers, string beans slightly steamed and some dip(hummis or ranch dressing) Then get rid of the fruit loops if you don't have it the house they can not eat it. I also leave on the little kids table some sunflower seeds and different kinds of nuts so that when they are hungry they have the good choices available to them. They also only get juice on Fridays and as they got older 5 or 6 it turned to pop a big treat. You could try different types of shakes.Good Luck
J. O

For us, they like to "dip" things. My four year old likes dip so much I catch him eating dip with a spoon. We use everything as dip from ranch to peanut butter.
My 2 year old is EXTREMELY picky, but I am now realizing he eats best when I sit down with him and eat at the same time. This sounds easy enough, but really a rare occasion at our house.
J.

Do not keep anything you do not want them to eat in your house! They will then eat the healthy things you keep in the house :) Also, they need to see you eating and enjoying healthy foods -- and when they eat healthy foods, it's good to encourage/praise/be pleased...

"apple or carrots" if you don't like it, don't eat it. you'll get hungry later and then its apple or carrots
; )

Hi M.,
My two kids are the same way. Please do not listen to the moms telling you to "Let them starve." My son would really starve if I did that. His feeding therapist told me to do this: Make a regular meal for the family, and offer it to them. Always choose at least one side that you know they like, so they get something. This week, the only thing my son has eaten is froot loops. I am not kidding. For breakfast lunch and dinner. He is autstic and his sister has sensory issues, so they will actually gag on the food and throw up if it is "nasty" to them.
You are the mother, whatever you feel is the best choice, is the best choice.
Good luck, because I know exactly what this is like.

Other then stop buying the unhealthy items something i do with my daughter is put pureed vegi's and fruit in meals. I spend a day steaming vegi's like califlower, carrots, squash, sweet potato (i use frozen, it seems to be cheaper). Anything that can blend(color wise) into food items. Then i put a some into meals such as spagetti sauce, meatloaf, eggs, pancakes, even my morning breakfast shakes i make. This way i know my daughter is getting extra vegi/fruit. Also i have yet to taste it in the meals and my daughter and husband never can tell it's in there. Another added item i use is grounded flaxseed for the Omega. good luck!!

A book called "Food Chaining" might help you with ideas on how to introduce new (better foods).

With my girls I always made one or two things I wanted them to try. Those went on a plate in front of them. Then I would put a plate of things they would eat in the center of the table. Then the deal was when they ate what was on their plate, then they could have what was in the center of the table. I never put more than a bite or two of the food I wanted them to try on the plate. That way it wouldn't be difficult to try it. And absolutely no gagging or saying I don't like something is allowed. I've explained to them in terms they can understand that it hurts my feelings when they gag, make faces and tell me they don't like something. They are allowed to say "No thank you, I don't care for this."

We also have a rule that no matter how many times they have tried something before if it is on their plate, they must try it again. Then I remind them that they wouldn't eat baked potatoes for a long time, but now they will because they kept trying them.

I do not give mine any options. They have to eat what is on their plate. I don't do the extra plate of foods they like anymore...they are 6 and 4. I just put it all on one plate and they know the rule is they must try it. If I have to put a fork of food in their mouth, then so be it. But they always have to try everything on their plate.

Now the rule is if they clean their plate (and I always put very small amounts of everything on their plate...and offer them seconds of what they like when they finish) then they can have a dessert. If they choose not to finish it all, then no dessert.

PS And if they don't eat, then they don't get snacks either....though I give them things like yogurt, fruit, cheese cut from a block, rolled lean ham and such....they will live off the snacks if I let them. If they aren't hungry for the mealtime foods, then they aren't hungry for snacks.

PSS I just wanted to add one more thing....though I know the prevailing wisdom is that it is better to eat three meals and two or three snacks, that isn't practical. Once they leave kindergarten there won't be a snack time anymore. They will have to eat three meals a day and maybe one snack for the rest of their lives. I figure I should teach them to eat good foods during those times and then to snack on good things if they have the chance....but not to expect it.

It makes transition to school very hard and kids go around starving half to death by mid-day because they are use to snacking all day. Our society just isn't structured that way and I think it is better to teach them habits that will fit into their future world now.

I have gone thru this many times. The number one thing I can tell you is to get rid of the snacks. All of the junk has to go or you will let them eat it. I started preparing the 3 healthy meals a day and offering 2 or 3 healthy snacks a day. The first week was rough. But now, so much better. They either eat what I fixed or get a banana or fix themselves a PB&J. Cereal is a great snack, look at all the vitamins they sneak in there! It also has a lot less sugar than a candy bar! Give them a supplement and offer healthier choices and you will feel better about it! Your dr. is right. I also keep a fruit bowl on the counter at all times! Apples, bananas and oranges are always there and snacks that they do not ever have to ask for! I find that I am feeling much better since we have been doing this too. It is just so easy to use the convience type foods and they do get used to them!
First step, clean the junk out of the cabinets!
Good Luck!

I can relate to your problem. I have 3 kids, 10,8 and 5 and none of them are really big eaters. I always make a healthy dinner and try a variety of dishes, only to have someone complain every night. It drives me crazy, however, I try and not let it get to me. The kids have come to understand that unless they try everything, they won't get a dessert (which works for 1 kid, but the other could care less). They also won't get any food before bed unless they do a good job eating their dinner, we usually don't eat before bed but if they are hungry and haven't touched their dinner, I try not to cave in. If I do, it usually is some healthy cereal or cheese.

I also try to give them some kid friendly meal a few times a week like whole wheat quesadillas (your kids may like that since it is close to cheese and crackers), pasta with butter sauce, pizza on whole wheat pitas - one kid won't eat red sauce so I use Ricotta cheese topped with mozzerella cheese and he loves it. I also stock the freezer with fish sticks, Morning Star - veggie corn dogs - which they love and have no idea are not real hot dogs and of course chicken nuggets.

I have tried that theory of putting a new food in front of a child 20x before they will like it and it is absolutely not true. I have one son who will only eat carrots as his only vegetable dipped in honey, the other corn and peas, and the oldest surprisingly will try most new foods. I have resorted to Jessica Seinfelds book Deceptively Delicious and have found a few really good recipes and ways to hide veggies.My kids do love fruits and smoothies, so sometimes I will throw a little flax seed in it and they never know.

I figure as they get bigger they will eventually want to eat more and most of the time they will eat one good meal a day, sometimes it's a big breakfast with scrambled eggs or french toast with juice. When they were little, they loved mashed potatoes, yogurt, cottage cheese. I give them a vitamin a day, of course it's a chewy one so it tastes like candy but they seem to be thriving, a little on the skinny side but I suppose that is better than the opposite.

Good luck. I hope that wasn't too long of an answer. I just joined mamasource and really could relate to your question.

M.

I completely agree with Wendy! I went through this with two of my three kids. Their pediatrician told me "You are not a short order cook, when they get hungry enough they will eat". It's up to you to not give in to Fruit Loops and such when their hunger kicks in. My boys learned after not eating anything for a couple days. This was pure torture for me (coming from a large Italian family). But, once they gave up, they ate just about anything. Now that they are older, sure they have likes and dislikes, but, it's the same policy. They just take a much smaller portion of whatever the item is. Good Luck M.!

When my kids were small, I noticed something interesting at a party once - They ate raw veggies and dip. So one day, they were not liking any of the cooked veggies I was making for a few days and I was growing tired of the struggle. Mid afternoon, I threw a bunch of raw veggies on a plate with some ranch dressing and told them it was crudite. That was a turning point for me. I then made a rule that the kids were allowed one food that they did not have to eat. They also had to take at least one bite of new foods - they didn't have to eat the whole thing, but they had to try it! I tried to keep the attitude light and not make it a fight with them - especially when they are little. Just make eating fun! I now have kids that will eat sushi, fish, vegetables - any type of cuisine. By 17 and 12 year old even ordered steak tartar at a fancy restaurant just because they wanted to say they tried it. Have fun with food and the kids will too - they learn eating from your attitude toward eating. A few days like this is no big deal, just keep trying new things!

HI M.,
When my son and daughter were little and they started going through this I remembered what my ped dr. said, always follow through with what we say! We would tell them if they didn't eat 3 bites of everyting on their plates, they would get no snakes or special treats until they did. The following days were tough with all the nagging about wanting snakes and whining about being hungry, it was very tough not to cave in and give them something, but after a few days, it finally paid off!!! Over time we had no problems at all. They knew it was our rule THREE BITES OF EVERYTHING I would make. As they got older and wanted to get on to other things @ getting outside, games etc., those 3 bites went down pretty quick!! It also helped with them not being picky eaters. So many times they would say that doesn't look good or the eeeooouuu.... and they'd find out they liked it. (never worked with liver though haha)We'd always invite thier friends to stay and eat and over time we get a kick out of their responce of what are you having, they knew the rule applied to everyone at our table and our kids would warn them! Now our 2 (20 and 18) are wonderful healthy eaters and they are always open to try new foods. I don't think this would have happened if we hadn't followed through with what we said so long ago. My husband and I always tried to follow thru with everything we warned them on, it's tough at the time, but it's sure paid off for us!!! Good luck, be strong, they won't starve and they'll soon realize you mean it!!!

Certainly, only have healthy food in the home. Other than that, one should not force anyone to eat when they don't want to. Listen to your doctor.

Hi M. I didnt read all of your responses but I did read some where they say "dont play this game you are the parent" well that isnt always the answer. You cant force feed your children. I have a almost 7 year old that is a very picky eater. Have you ever heard of a child who wont eat Ketchup...Well that is my son. I had to break down and buy a juicer so I knew both of my sons where getting what they needed. The only veggie my youngest would eat where greenbeans and that is when I would have a race with him to see who could eat them all first. So with the juicer while they are at school or playing and not looking I mix veggies and fruit to where it takes good and put it in a container in the fridge and that is what they drink for the day and they dont even know what they are drinking because it taste good. I hope this helps alittle bit....Good Luck

I think almost every parent goes through this to some degree. I found that if there is no junk food or things I don't want them to eat (chips, froot loops, candy,etc) than they can't demand them. Fill your fridge & pantry with healthy things that are easy & fun -- apples, carrots sticks with dip, avacado, fresh fruit, yogurt, cheese (my kids love string cheese & shredded of all varieties), nuts, popsicles made with 100% fruit juice, whole wheat bread with a variety of jams -- and that way the only thing you have in your house are things that you don't mind if they eat. Also, try to remove the power struggle. I try to act like I don't care one way or another if my daughter eats. My daughter was always a tiny little peanut but she's almost 4 and is now average size. She just eats when she's hungry. The thing to remember is that they are not going to starve. Just give them good options and they will eat when they are hungry. Good luck!

I know you must be very frustrated, but all I keep reading is that you shouldn't stress over this. What I am doing right now with my 3 year old is giving him the same meal we are eating (and catering his a little more towards his likes) and if he doesn't eat it, I just say okay and he's done with dinner. If he then says he's still hungry, he is allowed one of two options that he knows he can have each and every night...a banana or some string cheese. These two I picked because they are single servings, but you could also do pretzels, some yogurt, etc. He knows that he can always have these if he's hungry. The dessert-as-a-reward thing doesn't work, because even though you might get an immediate solution (them actually forcing some food down), supposedly this creates food issues. A great multivitamin should make you feel better about getting their nutritional needs met. Seriously, I have known so many toddlers that just ate toast for a year or something ridiculous like that and they grew out of it and became thriving kids and very good eaters, so don't sweat it too much. Good luck!

I recently went through something similar with my youngest (she's 6). She would load up on snacks and not eat her lunch or dinner. I've cut out or limited her snacks and she's eating dinner just fine. I also had to limit milk to one glass at dinner.

It takes a lot of patience when introducing new foods to kids. It can take over 10 times before they'll accept it! If I'm serving something new, I will give my kids a few bites and have them taste it. If they don't like it, they don't have to eat it. I'll make them a peanut butter sandwich instead (but I won't do the short-order cook thing). I try to mix up our menu so we'll have something new at least once a week. Sometimes it's a hit, sometimes it's a miss. I live and learn.

You can also get the kids to help out. Maybe have the 3.5 yr old use a plastic knife (supervised, of course) to cut up bananas for a smoothie and have the two year old rinse the berries.

My kids love to make salad. Granted my kids are older (10, 7, 6), but they still enjoy it. My oldest cuts up cucumber while the younger ones put the lettuce in a bowl and shred the carrots. Who doesn't think a salad spinner is fun? The kids get a kick out of it and they feel in control of at least part of the meal.

Every once in awhile, I'll make a taco bar (everything in bowls with serving spoons) and the kids will make their own tacos. My youngest doesn't like taco meat, but she'll pile cheese, lettuce & salsa on her flour tortilla. They make a huge mess, but they eat what they make. We clear and clean the table together when we're done.

English muffin pizza is also a fun way to get kids to eat. Provide the toppings (i.e: shredded cheese, pepperoni, sauce) and have the kids decorate their muffins. You put them under the broiler to cook and when the cheese is melted, they're done.

Another fun thing is to have breakfast for dinner. Make scrambled eggs, sausage or bacon, toast and hashbrowns - whatever you like. They can have orange juice instead of milk - it's just a little different. We've done dinner for breakfast too by eating cold pizza in the morning.

For us, the important thing about meals is that we sit down together and talk about our day. The food is important, but not as important as just being together. I don't want to spend that time engaged in a food power struggle.

Good luck!