Child with Attitude

When my friend with 2 daughters did this I just about died and thought her the worst mother in the world. Then when my son started pulling this stuff, I figured out why she did this and started doing it to. Now, this only works with typically developing children-children with sensory issues, add/adhd/autism/aspergers or whatever are not going to get this message the way we need them to, so if your child falls into one of those catagories, talk with your therapists about what works best.

When precious starts throwing a fit, calmly tell your loving child that you cannot understand him when he is screaming and carrying on, that you know he wants to talk with you, and when he can, to come get you. Then walk away and ignore him and the behavior (as long as he is not throwing and breaking stuff, coming at you with a knife etc!). Do this everywhere it is safe, the grocery store (if you are in a safe one where you know the staff and they won't call child protective services on you!) everywhere. I explained in advance to my son that when he gets upset and doesn't talk with me I can't understand him when he is screaming. If he gets upset and cannot talk with me, he needs some alone time and when he is ready to talk with me and listen to me I am all his...otherwise, I will walk away so he can have some alone time. So, first time he pitched a fit after that talk was in a grocery store, and so I walked away, and walked away and walked away as he followed me having his fit. He finally got the message, stopped the fit, and told me what he wanted and accepted when he was told he couldn't have what he wanted. This was not foolproof, but it worked alot until he got his skills in speech and self control up and working. Now, we also told him that if he needed to pitch a fit or make ugly noises or faces etc, he could do that in the bathroom (that way if this behavior started in the grocerystore, he would have somewhere to go to get it out of his system and get control again. Telling him he can do it in the bedroom doesn't work when you are at school, a movie, or the store!). This gave him an alternative, and a face saving method of regaining control. When told he had a choice of going to the bathroom to get this out of his system or behaving and talking so I could understand him, he usually chose the latter. Good luck!

This sounds so familiar to me. I have 3 boys, and my oldest two never had this problem much, but my youngest does. He just turned 3 and started doing the same thing about 4 months ago. Everytime we would ask or tell him to do something he would say NO. I thought that it was just a phase at first or just him trying to find his boundries. Well, I now realize that it is him trying to find his boundries. I have been able to curve it a bit by using the time out method. When he does the attitude he has to sit in the corner on the floor with his legs crossed for 3 minutes. During that 3 minutes we all leave the room and make him sit there alone. It is very hard to force him to stay there, but consistency pays off. I found that raising my voice to him did NO good at all. Trust me, I feel your pain. Good Luck and I hope it all works out for you.

He is 3, acting like a 3-year old. It stops about 4 to 5. I didn't compete with my children for fits. I just put them in their room and told them they could carry on in there and come out and talk when they were ready. I also made sure to point out that mommy and daddy don't throw fits we use our words to express our feelings. Fits are really just expression of feeling and you have to teach children to express feelings appropriately. Sometimes it got ugly and I would have to hold the bedroom door close so they wouldn't come out and scream but I stood my ground. I got down on my knees and talked to them eye to eye in a very calm voice before and after the fit. I won't say I didn't yell a time or two when my frustration was peaked but I tried my best.

3-4 is a time for independance too. I tried to give as many reasonable options to the kids as possible. Such as letting them wear what they want (matching or not) as long as it was weather appropriate. I also gave them choices such as if they said no to picking up their toys I said if you pick up your toys it shows mommy your a big boy and if you don't pick up your toys then mommy will have to put them away and you won't get to play with them later or tomorrow. If my son picked up then I praised him and generally helped him a little too.

Good luck though. 3-4 is rough, I like to think of it as the adolescence of toddlerhood (ha ha).

Hello E.,
When my son turned 3, everything became a battle of wills. It was a stage he was going thru. I just loved him thru it. The best thing to do is REMAIN CALM. He was trying to get a "rise" out of me and when he didn't, he would stop all the drama. Anyway, your sweet little boy is still there, he is probably just having a growth-related testosterone surge. My son doing much better now.

Blessings and best of luck to you.

I know exactly how you feel my son just turned 3 in Oct and it was like his little attitude swith turned on. He does the exact same things as your son. He will scream so loud no matter where we are if he doesn't get his way. My advice is just keep in mind he is a baby and he will grow out it. But another thing to consider is if he doesn't grow out of it you might want to look into a child therapist. It's a reality we all must face but some children do have emotional disorders. I used to work for a child psychiatrist and there are many ways to treat this. Good luck

the only thing I can think of is that he is jealous of the baby.... do you and your husband each spend some time just you and the three year old... that is the only suggestion I can think of

My son also did this, but not until the new baby was born. He probably started acting out once the baby started being a little more mobile. Happily, he is now 5 and behaves very well. You might try to find some time for the two of you to have some quality ALONE time... he probably misses out on time with just you and your husband.

I have a 2yr old daughter with the same problem she throws fits like crazy if she doesn't get what she wants then she throws herself on the floor an screams an crys. everyone so far that i've talked to about this says that it will pass it's just your child learning to express themself an seeing what there limits are with you. i just hope they are right. it did with my first son so i know it will with my daughter it just dosen't seem like it now. good luck

When my son throws fits, I just ignore him, and if it gets real bad, I put him in his room. It seems to be working. I never give into him. I think he is starting to understand that when I say something I mean it. Good luck. Just be consistent with him. He will eventually grow out of it. I can't wait for that to happen with us.