Child Walks Away

Have you tried those chidren harnest? They look like a backpack that the chid wears and it has a leash to the parent. I thought this was a great idea esp when you go to the mall, flea market or amusment park. good luck!

I know it sounds harsh, but if you have tried everything and he is still running off, I would have a discussion with him that someone could grab him and take him away from you and his family. I had this with both my kids now 10 and 5 when they were both around 3. Once I explained this harsh reality they stayed close. I had to reinforce it a few times and then it stuck.

Do you mean he keeps walking away from you in public, when you are out shopping etc.? I have always threatened my kids (ages 4-1/2 and 3) with the thought of putting a "leash" on them. We make a big deal about how leashes are for dogs NOT kids. If they leave my side, they will have to be like a dog and wear a leash....This threat seemed to work for my kids. Goodluck.

You've gotten a lot of advice, so I guess I'll add to it =) We "practice" a lot. First, we practice at home. We pretend we're in a public place and we practice the behavior we expect at that place. We make it into a game with lots of praise and, depending on the expectations, sometimes treats. My kids love it and most of the time they then understand expectations when we get into the certain situations.
After we master the pretending at home, I take them to the public place we practiced for the sole purpose of practicing there. If its a grocery store, I only put things in the cart that can be easily put back by a store employee (no frozen,etc...) Then the minute any misbehavior happens, I can pick them up and take them to the car and stop the "fun" they think they're having. We then go back to practicing at home and do the whole cycle all over again. It sounds tedious, but its part of training your child that you mean what you say. Of course, you need consequences when your child misbehaves in public so make sure you and your husband our on the same page and give the same consequence immediately following the behavior. This is what has worked for us at least =)

Hi J.,
I had a daughter who did this. I didn't want to do the stranger thing and actually leave her, but I was almost there. We had tried time out, taking away things, spanking, etc and nothing worked. Finally, one day after she did this, I told her that if I can't see her, I can't protect her in a very serious way. I told her even if she could see me, a stranger could grab her and I would not be able to protect her and that her daddy and I might never see her again. We talked about "evil" people, instead of "bad" people to differientate between the two. I kept emphasizing that if I can't see her and someone takes her, I can't protect her and it is possible that we would NEVER see her again. I did all of this in a very serious way to let her know how scared and sad I would be. She actually then went and talked with her dad and he said the same thing so we were saying the same things. That finally worked. We haven't had any problems since then. The next step was a leash, which she would have hated, but we were going to do that because it is a safety issue.
Good luck!
A.

My daughter, who is now 18, did the same thing when she was little. We were on our way into 6 flags one day when she did it again. I "hid" behind people and kept moving, but keeping her in my sight and close to her. There were so many people around I could hide in the crowd. After a few seconds she looked for me and couldn't find me and started looking for me. Before she panicked too badly, I "found" her, gave the usual speech and as an added reinforcemnt we went home because "she didn't follow the rules". Stopped the leaving mom dead in its tracks. The limits of how far she could go grew as she grew. It was also reinforced at home. For example, bike riding--for a time she could only go one house in either direction, and that grew as she aged and grew more responsible. The limits we set for our kids have to be consistent across activities, so that they are comfortable with their actions. She is a well adjusted 18 year old, on her way to college on a great scholarship. She is a great person!

I have an almost four year old who is the same way. I was told all I needed to do was get my daughter in a place where I could see her but she couldn't see me, and then she'd get upset when I wasn't nearby and will get the point that she couldn't run off. Well I tried this, and she turned around, didn't see me, and continued to run off. She was not at all upset or concerned.

Today she ran off at a museum and as I was calling for her to come back and trying to get under a barrier, I tripped on the carpet and severely sprained my foot. The scream I let out in pain (I didn't mean to scream, but it happened so quickly) got my daughter's attention immediately and she came running back. Unfortunately I don't think that will keep her from running off again in the future.

I always hated seeing people put harnesses on their kids, but now I understand why some do it. I got a tag that you can clip to the back of the child's shirt with your name and cell number, which I put on her whenever we're in very crowded places. I am constantly keeping tabs on her -- can't turn my back ever. I think my friends think I'm overly protective, but I've learned from experience that she will take off.

Good luck. I'll be interested to see what other responses you get.

Do you shop at stores w/carts? If so put him in it. I worked retail at one time. The whole purpose of the cart is not only for you to put items in but to put children in so as not to run off.
Trust me the associates will love you for it. I can not tell you the number of customers that would complain to us about children that ran through the store. If he throws a fit in this process remember this "your the parent".
I take not only my grand children shopping at times but also my great grandchildren and they all knew/know that they either stayed with me and held onto the cart or they were in the cart (pending on their size). There was never a question in their minds who was the adult and in charge. I've never been asked to leave a store nor had sales associates have the look of dread on their faces when I would walk in with them.

I'm not sure if you mean he walks away at a store, home or where.. But you may try (hiding) from him, while keeping an eye on him, and let him wonder where you are, and then explain to him how it worries and upsets you if you don't know where he has went to, that what if he got hurt, and you couldn't help him, because you didn't know where he was.

The leash or harness system can be a great thing. I had a leash that went around my daughters wrist and the other end around mine or the grocery basket etc.It was tight enough to not slip off her wrist but not so snug it would hurt her. Don't let peoples comments about it in public get you down - anyone who thinks it is cruel has never had a small child run away and get lost in Walmart.

Our oldest son always walked away. We let him get lost once in the mall, we stood where he couldn't see us and let him panic. He was never out of our sight, but it scared him and he thought twice about leaving us again. Hope this helps.

when my kids were that age they stayed with me okay. but now that one is 7 she thinks she is big and go off alone. i try to explain to her (i told them when they were little as well) that if they left me they would get taken by a stranger and never see their mommy again. this seemed to help because the thought of me not being their mommy upset them, and still does.

You received lots of advice, but from a mom that has been there too let me tell you Laurie had the best advice. You are truly asking for trouble down the road if you do not get him under control now. This time its walking away from you, and boy is it funny. What is it going to be when he's 11 or 12 and taller than you?? At home, and when you are out and about immediately start with the "do as you are told!" Make the consquences severe and quick. Don't be embarassed or worried when in public, an obiedient child is what God commands of children, your son is not honoring you at all. My kids are now 6 and 9 and they have a great time, but when I say time to go they come to me and we leave: its not a ten minute drawn out process. The TV is turned off immmediately, they do their chores without being told 10 times, etc, etc. I wish I had started when they were younger!! Learn from the rest of us, just look around you: how many moms are calling for their kids a hundred times, rolling their eyes and getting mad because their kids won't do as they are told? Don't be one of them. It's walking away from you now, what's next? Where does it end?

I have found with certain issues - scare tactics are most effective. I know no one wants to create a mindset with their young child that people are bad, etc., but being very specific about what could happen, that someone could snatch him up in a heart beat, and that in this great big world there are in fact bad people...and that if he strays from your sight in public that you cannot keep him safe - he might just hear that. I try to use the approach that I'm not trying to make my son afraid - but just aware.

Also - making sure to state your expectation to him prior to going out in public, and have him give a verbal acknowledgemnt of it - such as - 'yes I understand', then warning him ahead of time of the consequence he will recieve (such as - 'next time you will not be invited to come with us..") and then promise a simlple reward if he follows through. This process has been effective with my little boy.

Good luck!

Get a child leash...It will be embarassing for the kid if you are in public places and it will eventually teach him to stick with you...

i show my kids the missing children posters every time we go to wmart. i talk to them honestly about people steeling kids from their backyards and so on. if you are in an area where you have a clear view of your child and no one could get to him faster than you and there are no other iminent dangers do to him what he does to you..dissapear...hide behind a tree and let him feel lost for a moment...sometime shock value is of use if it helps us keep our kids safe..

This is great! You are actually trying to control your child! I work with delinquent juveniles, a lot of them are runaways. I noticed from talking to parents that they are so ineffective, it is ridiculous! I have observed some of the parent-child interactions, and parents are scared to tell their children how it is, or children laugh at their parents, because they have no fear of anything or anyone! Please continue to work not only on this issue (life-death issue), but also work on your whole parenting skills in general because I would hate to ever see you at my job! Tell him real life situations and that may be enough, i.e. the little boy that was found on the streets alone, and CPS took him away to live with strangers who cook spaghetti everyday. A little fear in his heart goes a long way...

I have two kids. THe first always stayed by my side. The second was a runner. It was awful. I can't tell you how many times I had to take off after her in stores and parking lots. We went to Disney World and I was so afraid of losing her, I went and bought one of those kid harnesses. I got a few bad looks for it, but mostly parents understood. Some even asked where I got it. It had a big elmo on the front, so she liked it. It also had a way to take the chest part off and just strap her wrist to mine. Luckily, she has outgrown that phase, but I do understand what you are going through. You do whatever you need to do to keep her safe and don't worry about what other people think!!!!

Looks like you have a little adventurer!! I use the think the harness was cruel, however I have seen people at the zoo and the mall with them. It seems to work for my daughter with hers. I think it's worth a try.

Go to Wal-Mart and in the baby section they have these backpacks that look like a stuffed animal you can get a money or a bear and maybe more options but it looks like the animal is wrapped around the Childs back it fastens in the front and you have a long leash looking thing that looks like the tail that you can hold onto or place around your wrist. I use it for my 18 months old. You can use it as a punishment for your child anytime you go anywhere you don't want him to get away from you. Its like a leash for your child, however it doesn't hurt them and its actually pretty cute. Some people think this is cruel I think its alot better than them getting hurt or kidnapped! He should figure out pretty quickly that unless he stay close he will have no option but to be leashed for his safety. Good luck and let me know if you decide to try this, I would love to know how quickly he decides to follow directions!!

S. Ashcraft

Legal Assistant

Progressive Concepts, Inc.

You've tried everything else and now your son needs a spanking. Spanking is an appropriate form of discipline and if used wisely, correctly and when necessary, it works. Also, if you use it now, by the time he's 7 he'll know that when you say something, you mean it, and you won't need to use that method. You can't reason with a 4 yr old. If you feel bad about spanking him, well, think how you'll feel if one day he walks away from you and someone else grabs him and you never see him again. Or he gets hit by a car. You have to put this in perspective. Your son will cry and he'll feel hurt, but he'll still love you and he'll start minding.

How frustrating. What does your 6 year old do? It sounds like your youngest thinks it is a game. To effectively get your message across you have to figure out what gets that childs attention. The punishment should fit the crime. The consiquence needs to be instant.

Do you have someone that can keep your 4 year old while you run necesssary errands? Make sure it is not his best buddy. If he asks why he can't go with you, explain he does not mind you so he has to stay behind. Make a leash. Not because it is your saving grace. Hopefully he will not like it. Again you let him know he can change this by not running away. Make sure you change your tone of voice. Talking in your normal voice makes it a game, raising your voice makes it a game. A different 'tone' get his attention.

I hope you find the answer you are looking for. Parenting is rough at times but these are important life lessons.

I would get the harnes thing. I have a 6 yr old and a 2 yr old about 2 years ago we went on a plane and I had the baby on my chest in a carrier and my other one in the harness. It was so convienant. I had a hold on both kids! But now I think I will have to start using the harness on the 2 yr old because he is such a handfull! And the thing is cute it's like a backpack. The one I have is a monkey. =)

Get one of those harness and leash systems they make for kids now and explain to him that the first time you have to chase him down, he'll get to wear that for his own safety for the rest of that outing. We do this with my daughter when we're flying somewhere to keep her safe at the airport. Clearly, he needs some motivation and this might well be the trick!

Hi J.,

I agree with other peoples' advice to put a harness/"leash" on your child (Babies R Us carries it), if you must take your child with you for your errands. Otherwise, if possible, maybe you can do your grocery shopping/errands at night when the kids are sleeping? Is your husband home at night? Lately, I have been doing my grocery shopping at night after the kids are in bed. It is such a luxury to do errands without kids!

J.,

I have to agree with the moms that say this is the exact kind of problem that deserves a spanking. Not sure if you've ever read any books by Dr. James Dobson, The Strong Willed Child, Bringing Up Boys and Dare to Discipline are a few. And in all of them, he advocates for spanking when a child has been willfully disobedient and defiant as your little boys has. What he is doing is a matter of life or death. After all, Adam Walsh (the reason stores use a "Code Adam" when a child is lost) was only seven years old when he was abducted from a Sears in FL and later found decapitated. I know, very gruesome, but a REALITY. Your son doesn't know this but you do so you must be very firm with him about staying near you. I agree about the harness, tell him if he can't be a big boy and follow the rules, then he has to stay right by you with it on. I've seen kids older than your son in Walmart with one on, and being a mom I completely understand that there has to be a major problem for a mom to resort to that so I pass no judgement at all. Best wishes on getting this problem fixed.

Hi J.,

I have a niece that used to do this. She is a real "space cadet". It's not that she doesn't care. She simply saw or heard something that interested her and she would just wander off to pursue whatever happened to interest her at the moment. I don't know if this is what your 4 year old is doing.

My suggestion is to put a leash on his wrist so he can't wander far away. If that doesn't work try the harness for toddlers. Is this child Autistic, ADD at all? Just curious.

Good luck!! Hopefully he'll outgrow this.

T.

Not to cause him mental anguish, but for small children parents sometimes use a harness with a lease so the children don't wander off. Perhaps that might get his attention. This really is a serious safety issue. Perhaps he would get the idea that it is serious if you require him to be physically attached to you. Good luck.

I have this problem with my 3 yr old son. I found a "harness" at Wal-Mart that looks like a monkey backpack. We don't look at it as a leash or harness. It actually has a pocket, and we put some of his favaorite things in there, so he can take them with him. It's great, and it's only $9.99.

I totally agree with all the responses about making "walking" the privilege!! Can't stay with you?? Strap him into the stroller, shopping cart, or leash (Target or Walmart for $10). He probably wants to walk and will see this as an immediate loss of privilege. My oldest loves to walk on his own so much that I can use this for other things as well. Example: Not ready to leave a play area ... I don't make it a fight. I just say it's time to go now (after having giving him a notice of his last time) and then say do you want to walk or do you want me to carry you? Walk!! Is his response and we go.

Lucky for you, this is an easy fix!! Go to walmart and in the baby isle they have these little backpacks that look like animals and you buckle it on your child and then the tail is what you hold on to. Is he going to like it?? NOPE, and that is the plan. You tell him that your job is to keep him safe, and that right now you do not trust him to stay with you, so he has to use this. You have to do it EVERY time you are going somewhere. He will likely be embararssed, even angry, and you let him know that if he uses it without fighting for a week (or whatever time you want) then you will let him try one time. If he does not do exactly what he is told the very first time you tell him, it is back to the harness for another week. You do have to set a longer period of time, rather than giving him a chance each time, or he will never take you seriously. Stick to it and I can almost guarantee it will work. Good luck ~A.~

My 7 1/2 year old was doing this to me. I almost have a panic attack everytime we go to a store. She never meets a stranger & is very friendly so this also adds to my fear. I saw an infomercial for Safe side kids. It is produced by John Walsh & the creater of Baby Einstein. I bought it thinking it might teach my daughter why I am afraid when I cant find her or see her. It has worked so well! She now knows that a "stranger" may not look like a monster but could look very clean, nice & super friendly. It may work for your son. It cant hurt. It teaches what to do when they are approached or coaxed to leave your side. The website is www.thesafeside.com

Many parents don't believe in these options, but when it comes to the safetly of my child, I'd rather do this than loose a child, maybe forever!

1) Use a child restraining harness (some people call them "leashes"-I think the other sounds better). They make some now that are really cute, look like stuffed animal backpacks. And you can buy them at Wal-Mart and Target or many other child-retail places.

2) Scare him-(it may only take once to work). Find a SAFE public place (your church, school, your work, etc) where he won't be harmed by anyone or anything by running off from you!!!!!!! THE AFORESAID IS VERY IMPORTANT!!!!!!!! NEVER DO ANYTHING THAT WILL ACTUALLY PUT YOUR CHILD IN DANGER, just that will give him the perception of danger! Then, after he runs off, maybe you just dissappear too because you were "looking" for him! Make him realize what it would be like if he actually was lost/ran off in a (normal) public place and that it is not soo fun/not such a game anymore! Let him get scared. Fear teaches a longer-lasting lesson than just "telling"! Then, after you think the fear is REAL, "find" him, make a big deal about it, and talk about why he can't leave you and say this is what does happen and SOOOOOOOOO much more bad things COULD happen! Children learn from examples, doing, and mistakes SOOOOOOOOO much better than from us just telling!

Just some ideas!

And please realize that I am not trying to me mean here nor put your child in danger! Sometimes, when other things don't work, tough love is the best option!

Best of luck!

Walmart carries a backpack with a harness in front and has a clip for a leash in the back. I told my son it was a new backpack and he was excited to wear it. Ours is in the shape of a little doggy and only has a small pocket for things but he thinks it's neat.

My son is the same way with running off. He thinks it is hilarious. My problem in addition to this, is that I have a 4 year old and a 5 month old to keep tabs on. I too felt bad about seeing kids with leashes. And then my son came along. Who cares what other people think. You're trying to keep your child safe. Good luck.

You might consider taking a trip to the police or fire station and have them talk to him about the importance of staying with mom. Sometime having an authority figure other than a parent talk to them makes an impression. I had a friend that had a policeman talk to her daughter about staying in her car seat and she never tried to get out of it again.

There are alot of child rated stranger danger movies out there. I remember watching one as a child that put the fear of God in me and I was very affraid I would be kidnapped if I ran off. You may try watching a movie with him about a kidnapper.

My twins were like that. One day I had a friend that they never met before help me. They girls ran off and were hiding from me, and I said bye to them, but they still laughed. When I got out of sight they tried to find a diferent hiding stop. My friend was keeping an eye on them and I could see them. When they finially got tired of playing and wanted somthing to eat (I made sure they didn't get their snack, they started looking for me. I start to hide from them (I could see them, but they could see me) and they started to get upset. I made sure they got really upset before I walked around the corner to go to them. I told them that's what happened when you run off, and that sometimes mommy doesn't come back. That also gave me the oppertunity to tell them about bad people. Know when the girls do listen to me the first time, I just say bye and start walking away. They don't want to be left. It may sound mean to some people, but it worked. I'm a mom first and a friend second. I also don't baby my kids, cause it could hurt them in the future.

I usually read responces not to double up, but today I am too lazy! I have a freind who was telling me she is in a group that teaches children life lessons. For example...one child was at the the playground and didn't listen and was not ready to leave. So the mother had another friend that the child did not know stay and watch. The mother left the child at the playground, while her friend stayed. The child then started crying of course becuase the mother actually left him and the friend walked up asking what was wrong and how she could help and called his mother (I assume the boy knew his number??) and mom then came back...I think this is how it went? Anyway, maybe you could have a friend watch him the next time he runs away and let him see why you have rules. My son just turned 5 and would probably understand, but I don't know how 4 yours son is. Also, this might only work with some kids. I have never done it, but I assume if you have someone elses eyes on him then it is still safe.
Good Luck, I am in hte process of teching my kids to quit running in stores. Once I had three it went all down hill with control and right now I want it back!!

Our rule has always been "if I can't see you, I don't know you are safe". If the child still walks away even knowing & understanding this rule, my next step is to say "you've earned a spot holding my hand". Then, I just don't let go of their hand. At age 4, they enjoy some independance, and the ability to look at things while you are out, if they are holding your hand, that is limited. Then, at your next outing, you can try to let him go again...if he walks away, he gets to hold your hand...or has to stay in the stroller, or, although I don't like leash things, I did have one that went wrist to wrist when my kids were little...when we would go to the airport - just me and the 2 little ones - I would use the wrist to wrist thing with the older one (the little one would be in the stroller) but that way when I was getting our tickets out and trying to push the stroller and pull luggage, I knew where she was.

I hope this helps!

Safety is the big thing. I had to put a harness on my nephew when we went in public or near traffic for about 2 months- in certain situations. Sometimes there are situations where you know you will be somewhat distracted- huge crowd, the checkout at grocery store. Usually we would try to go out without it. He was told that if he ran off, he would have to wear the harness. (I always made sure to wear sneakers or comfortable shoes, too, since I knew I'd be running.) Eventually the harness started staying in the backpack more and more until we never used it again.

I remember being at NorthPark and some gay couple making a snide comment about why my nephew would need therapy later in life. That bothered me for a couple of minutes, but then I thought "Look who's talking. At least he'll be alive." The point is you may get some looks and someone might even make a comment, but they have no clue how fast your son is and reckless he can be at this stage.

If the situation is less dangerous, you might able to allow him to walk freely until he runs off. Then he is grounded to the shopping cart- one hand must stay on shopping cart or he has to hold your hand. Big boys who listen get to explore freely within range of Mommy. Boys who don't must stay close like a baby.

I know some of the other mom's advised spanking. If it works, that's fine. Because this can be a really frustrating situation, see if you can wait 5-10 minutes before the spanking. You might need the time to cool off or stop freaking out before giving the discipline.

You know your sons. My nephew isn't deterred by a spanking. For him, losing TV time or a time out was much more agonizing. My daughter usually only needs one spanking to avoid something like the plague. For her being told something is a spanking offense is enough to warn her away in most cases.

I guess the point is that you know your boys and how dangerous the situation could become. Your 4 year old is old enough that if you have to resort to a harness he can reason through the cause and effect. "If I run off, Mommy is going to put the harness on me. If I stay with Mommy, I can be free." Here's hoping you won't need the harness. But if you do, hold your head up, you are being a responsible Mom and you know your boys. Strangers don't.

There is a great fix for this in the Love and Logic books. Hire a sitter for an hour or so (maybe a new one that he wouldn't recognize) and have her go to a store (during a not-so-busy time, maybe) at the same time as you. Have her wait by the entry door and just nod at her when you come in. Then have her follow you around the store. Tell your son that you really hope that he can keep up with you in the store. It would be so sad if he got lost, but it's up to him. Then just go shopping. Have the sitter watch after him and he'll probably get lost. Let him get scared. He'll probably cry and won't know what to do and then see what he does. Don't come to his rescue, if you can avoid it. Hopefully he'll find an adult (maybe have this be the sitter- she'll at least be watching him) and the adult will take him to the paging system. Then you go to him when you're paged and tell him how sad it was that he got lost and next time he should make sure to keep up with you and, of course a hug. Don't say your sorry or coddle him too much ("Oh my poor baby!"), but empathize with his pain. Make sure all the responsibility is on him, not you, so he knows to be careful and not get lost again (wasn't you who lost him). You might have a friend (that he doesn't know well) do this instead of a sitter, too. You want it to be someone he doesn't recognize so that she can watch him in plain sight and not have to hide. Hope this doesn't sound cruel and that it works if you do it. You may need to do it more than once depending on the retainable memory of your son. It should affect him enough to get it sunk in.

Hi J.. I have a 2 year old little girl and a 10 month old boy. Needless, to say, my hands are FULL! I must have read this somewhere and put it to use with my daughter. I'm always so scared she's going to run off in a parking lot, or even in our driveway while I'm trying to get brother buckled in his car seat or taking him out. When we're out shopping, since the front "child seat" is holding Daniel, there really is no place to put sissy (without risking injury). What we've done is I have her put her hand somewhere (ex: my back pocket if my back is turned to her, the car tire, something stationary) and tell her to look out for the boogie man (you might try asking your son to count how many second it takes for you to do something) When I turn back to her, we talk about it. (Thank goodness, no boogie man!) and I ask her what she did see. While out shopping, I keep her busy by asking her to help pick boxes, bags, fruit, veggies, whatever and loading them into the shopping cart. we do the same thing at the cashier's counter. I don't think this can be "taught" by lecturing about it. I think you have to keep their attention while they're learning (and they don't even know!) so that it becomes the ONLY way. Hope my idea helps! God Bless!

My daughter was always scaring me to death when she was about that age. Everywhere we went she would walk away, hide, etc. One time when we were in Walmart she walked and hid in the middle of a clothes rack. I saw her hide but she didn't know I saw her. I hid where I could see her, but she couldn't see me. When she realized I wasn't looking for her she started to look for me. Suddenly she thought she was lost and began to cry. I waited for a minute and then came out where she could see me. I told her that is how I feel when she hides from me. She never did it again:)

I have a five point harness that I used with my children. It buckles in the back and the child is unable to take it off. What ever you do, do with consistancy (which includes the game of chase) do not let it become a game if you do not want him to do it at certain times. (at least until he is old enough to obey). I am not sure you spare the rod, but a good swat may be necessary. In all things be consistant. Children are trainable if you stay on top of it.

You have gotten good suggestions about the harness and a good spanking. You will need to change the tone in your voice to reflect that YOU mean business. It may be time for you to look at how your are parenting techniques and become very firm with him. Perhaps leaving him with a sitter at a day care center and taking your older son. He will probably cry but it is because he doesn't mind. If you do take him and no harness put him in the cart and strap him in it. If he cries so what it is your child and you are ultimately responsible for his well being. Get it under control now before he does run in front of that car and that's the end of him in your life as you witness the happening. Not meaning to scare you but to put the urgency to need.

My son did this to me once in a mall when I was pregnant (6 mos) and I didn't know which direction he went in and I finally found him between 2 sets of doors that lead to the outside parking lot. It didn't help that we were in Quebec at the time and language was a barrier. When I finally got him to the car and safe I got his attention and he never did that again. He is now 34 and has a son 10 who puts him through many of the things that he did me and I sit back and laugh to myself. I ask him where he heard some of the comments that he makes and he says to me mom you said them to me. So once a parent always a parent. Good luck to you.