Child's Day Care Treats Me Badly

Change daycares. The child picks up on attitudes. :-) I know two sets of parents who never really got any help at preschool or K with their gifted kids.
Finally, in first grade one went to GT and the other enrolled in a more academic private school. Good luck.

I would change. I was treated that way at my last daycare, and I think that my son wasn't given the same attention as others. (Totally unbiased opinion, but my son is adorable, and most people can't keep their hands off him. lol) The new daycare is awesome, and while I have no idea if the staff likes me or not (they are nice to everyone), I know that my children get the interaction and attention they need and deserve. And I'm not afraid to speak up due to retribution to my children...they are more professional than that.

I used to work in a daycare and was the head teacher so I fielded a lot of the parent complaints. You said you can be demanding when it comes to your children - are you making comments, complaints, and demands daily, weekly, monthly? If it is daily or even weekly it can get very frustrating to the staff who is doing their best to take care of a large group of children. All the children are special to them, yours is no more special to them than anyone else. When they feel like their level of care is being questioned or put down, they do get annoyed because they do their best to manage a large group that has many different levels of ability. They can't single your son out for special treatment or learning because that would mean not giving equal time to all the other kids. In my classroom I managed the care and learning of 20 4-5yr old kids with only 1 other adult assistant. I had 3 hours to get them through their preschool curriculum. I did have upset parents because their kids were at a higher level of ability and I could not, in the time I had, take extra time to teach them more than the curriculum allowed.

I would encourage you to support your daycare workers, not put them down. If someone put you down for your job regularly, wouldn't you respond with a little annoyance or anger? You child's attendance only accounts for a tiny portion of their pay and they most likely have a waiting list of children ready to start once a vacancy comes. Your attitude that you pay their paychecks is not a good one to have - most daycare workers make minimun wage so they aren't paid enough to give all they have to your child and then have you come put them down for their work.

If you are that concerned, move him to a daycare that has a better adult to child ratio.

I bet if you went in there everyday for a week and told them what a GREAT job that they were doing, you would be met with smiles and a different attitude. In my experience, what you give out is what you get back, and although you are trying to be helpful to the teachers it is obviously coming across the wrong way. I have never been a pre-school teacher and honestly, I don't think that I could handle that job. I know that their pay is VERY LOW, and they have a lot to deal with. If your only concern is the way that they treat you and not the way that they treat your son, then I would try approachnig them with a different attitude and see if you get different results before changing him to a new school. I don't think that at that age you should really be trying to push your child to excel academically. He needs to be learning good social skills as well....

Wow...have you ever tried to put yourself in their shoes? Just reading your description, especially the "They can thank every parent that walks through the door for the paycheck they receive" smacks of entitlement. Makes me wonder how you treat them? I can bet that if you treat them poorly the chances of them having decreased interaction with your son is very likely. Think of it this way - why do something for your kid when all you're going to do is come in and complain about it? Maybe they feel that since they can't do anything right then they should do as little as possible...just so they don't piss you off even more.

You're entitled to be involved in the education and care of your child but it's a little unreasonable to expect the workers to cater to your every demanding whim. I get wanting to be an advocate for your child, but the feel of your request seems to indicate that you think your child deserves special treatment...and what worker wouldn't be disdainful and exasperated with that behavior?

If you're that upset, then you should change daycares. Everyone involved would be happy.

First of all you need to analyze why they treat you this way? Really are you being pleasant and approachable or being demanding and unreasonable. How old is your son? What do you mean he's advanced? Is he 2 or 3 and can read and write already? Does he know mathematics? Why is he bored? Can he be placed in another room with children that are a year older so he can be more challenged? If that is not the case and he is truly gifted and needs more challenging mental stimulation then you should focus on a different daycare or a montesorri school in your area. Is he preschool age? If the daycare truly has an attitude I would be concerend too about the care he receives during the day. Perhaps he is ignored and that is why he is bored.

Change schools and change your self. When you start the new school Stop Being "the annoying parent"
By the way, smart children don't get bored (unless they are forced to do boring worksheets for hours and hours) because they find ways to entertain themselves, they find ways to challenge themselves, they find things to read and draw, they know how to talk to other children(even children who are less verbal) They write notes to people for fun, and find ways to extend easy activities to challenge themselves. Children who are bored either want to have free play more OR are used to being entertained more, or dont want to do what the class is doing because they have are afraid of not doing better than the other students.
You've admitted you're the annoying parent, annoying parents sometimes have annoying children, so look into that possibility. Have you told him he is smarter/better than the other children? have you made it clear that the activities the teacher plans are "beneath him" Has he picked up on the attitude you have with teachers?
I am assuming your attitude is the problem because of the way you describe yourself as annoying. I admit it could be a bad preschool but have no info to back that up, you havent described what takes place at his school

a smile, a helpful attitude goes a long way. if you do not change the attitude, you will find such disdain elsewhere too. you can be 'demanding' in nice ways, still get what you need for your child, without appearing so. i would say, change places, and then change attitude. start anew.

If they annoy you, change daycares. It's not about the paycheck b/c there is probably a wait list a mile long, so that one won't work on them. And yes, they do talk amongst themselves about you (and the other moms).

I'm not clear on this, though... daycare or preschool? They are VERY different. Daycare does not necessarily need to provide instruction or "challenge" your child. If this is a preschool setting, then they should be able to differentiate for your son.

I would suggest looking into a preschool program with a structured curriculum that encompasses lots of play time, music, movement and early literacy exposure. A good preschool director will be able to highlight their curriculum and when taking a tour the kids should be actively engaged in a learning-based activity or "free play" with designated sections (dress-up, play kitchen, art station, board games/puzzles, etc).

Change day cares. This one isn't a good fit for you or more importantly your boy. He may be more advanced and since boys have such a hard time with the way most schools are arranged give him a hand up and start looking into other schools that may be a better fit for him. I would work on that immediately and returning from the Christmas holiday he would be at a new school and feeling better.

As for your assumption about you being an annoying parent, I can't say if you are or if you are not. Most parents think their children are the most advanced, talented, special people in the world but the truth of the matter in most cases is our children are just average and depending on how we present our belief can have a way of alienating others and making us stand out in a negative way.

When you go to pick schools, find out what kinds of study they have. What materials are used? What methods are employed? How much time they spend during the day on their studies? Consider what your kid needs and his personality and then make a decision. Sometimes as parents we decide for the school that is closer to our work or home because of the convenience while the school farther away would have been a perfect fit for our kid.

We live we learn. Keep me posted on your decision because it is your decision.

If he says he hates it, why not change daycares? How old is he?

I haven't read the responses below, but why would you give your hard-earned money to a daycare that treats you with such disdain? You are right to think that their dislike of you may also alter how they treat your child when you are not around. I would be researching new childcare options immediately. Good luck!

If he hates it and you are being treated badly, I would change daycares.

I would love to have more info though like how old your son is, why you feel he's advanced, is it a day care or preschool, what are you doing to try to help the teachers?

I am a bit confused, you say day care but also mention Head Start. They are totally different programs. Head Start is a low income based preschool that only accepts children in certain income brackets. They are not child care, they are a school, based in your child's public school district and they have regular school hours. Like 8am-2pm.

If you are referring to child care where you take your child in the morning before you go to work, like 7 am, then don't pick them up until after work, like 5-6 pm then you are talking about 2 very different programs. Child care workers are usually not a degreed person, they have hours of training they go through and get certified to teach in child care settings. They have to do at least 20 hours of education a year in some states, each and every year.

The teachers at Head Start are degreed teaching professionals. They have a career in Early Childhood Development. They have gone to college and obtained the education/degree needed for this job.

I understand that you feel you are a bit demanding, it's not a totally bad thing for a parent to be that way. They are our kids after all. I have had issues with some of the Head start teachers. They didn't do as good a job as I thought they should.The 3 year old teachers had done such a wonderful job with K that I was looking forward to another year of the same.

The 4 year old teachers acted like I didn't exist and that I had no brain. They didn't do crafts, paint, bring home any art work, no practices of writing their names, nothing. I hated it.

J is currently in the 3 yr. old program but I plan on him going to regular Pre-K at the elementary school next Fall. He is enjoying Head Start and it's certainly not hurting anything for him to go.

I read a lot of the posts and am surprised that so many assume that your attitude is the problem. We can't possibly know that from your post. You said that you are asking them what YOU can do to help because THEY and your son are saying he is bored so this is not just you saying he is bored but the daycare is saying it. (I don't think a lot of the responses read it that way)

I would suggest talking to the teacher (if you haven't already) and be sure you are both on the same page as to what is happening and what you are asking of them (and whether or not it is possible for them to do that). Reiterate if they can give you ideas of what to do to help him (maybe to elaborate on what they are doing during the day).

I do agree with some posts that maybe he is sensing your attitude (if you have one) towards them. But he may also sense their attitude towards you. You should probably talk to the director about this (or look into changing daycares/preschools). If you do change, address these issues before you select one.

I stronging disagree with the post that say gifted children don't get bored. Gifted children get bored all the time. If they areregularly not challenged they often will act out, get in trouble, and/or later fall behind because they are no longer paying attention.

you wrote what I was thinking if they treat you bad how do they treat hm change day cares

I'm sorry - is this daycare or preschool?

change daycares. Seriously, if they dont care and are treating you that way, why is your child still there?