going through a divorce i have a 30 hr a week job i dont get paid that much. thinking about agreeing on joint custody with my x. will that change what i get in child support? i dont want to be greedy but there is no way i can be on my own with my child with out the 20% that the laws here where i am say i should get. my x says with joint custody i wouldnt get 20%. i feel its almost like telling a stay at home mom... your on your own now go buy a house make a car payment and dont forget all the lawyer fees you have to pay now. ive been at my job for 10 yrs, im not scared of hard work be for my child i worked 2 jobs and went to school.
he has a job that he works 50~55 hrs a week at. (ps that was the reason we are splitting he was simply never home and we drifted apart and i started to be just fine with out him around.) when she was born we both agreed on the idea that i would not work 40 hrs so one of us could be with her most of the time. meaning i never tried to get a better job
i want him to have just as much say on what our little 4 yr old does and how she is brought up i spent the last 4 years with my daughter and the thought of not having that time with her anymore is killing me. i guess what im asking is there a way my x can have her 2 nights a week and every other weekend but i would still get 20%? there is so much more to this story but i dont want to waste any more of your time.
got a lawyer, some how im getting the short end of the stick. i guess it dosent matter that i was the one who stayed home with my emma all those years, didnt further my education or employment. i get 100 dollars a week?? and he brings home 800 a week. is that fair? i wish they would go by the amount of HOURS a parent has and not the DAYS. then they would see that even on "his days" shes still with me most of the day he only truly has her one day every 2 weeks how is this ok? amount of hours he has her monday to friday is 8...8 hours a week!
shes sleeping the rest of the time. but yet we call this joint custody. i dont know what im going to do. go back to school? i dont have the money or the time. get a different job? id start at the bottom again, pay scale and rank. get a second job? i can only work on the days i dont have my emma and thats never. every second i dont work im with her. i dont have a day off.
~~ to: InMy30'sAlready~ no thats not what im doing geeze. just trying figure out what terminology to use. and survive.
They are different state to state but when I was separated, still married joint custody 50/50 he paid $430 a month. When we were divorced and I have sole legal/physical custody I still get $430 a month so I'm going to say it doesn't change whether there is joint custody or sole custody because it is based on how much he makes, not his custody. From what I understand they are 2 different issues.
Check the statutes for your state. My husband and his daughter's mother were never married. We paid child support until this year, when she came to live with us. If she eventually gets 50% custody, we will not pay her any child support (she pays us nothing now btw). The cases I know where couples literally split custody (50% time), neither spouse pays the other support.
If I were you, I would make sure that you have physical custody more than 50% of the time if you want child support. You may also be able to get transitional alimony until you get on your feet and get a full time job and an income on which you can support yourself, but your husband should not have to support you forever.
L., you are not wasting our time, this is what we're here for. We're all in it together, ok? So add any details you like.
I don't think 2 nights a week and every other weekend is 50/50 custody. Child support is case by case. His making more money is relevant too.
On a different note, please do not believe what he says is 'true'. Find out for yourself.
And keep asking questions, however long and detailed.
:)
If you both agree you can do whatever you want as far as custody and child support. If you go in with a agreement between the two of you the judge usually just goes with it.
Child support, parenting time and custody are all different things. Custody says who has say so for the child. If its joint, you BOTH have a say, if its sole, only that person has say. Parenting time is time that each parent has with the child. One week on, one week off, every other weekend, every other holiday, etc. Child support is based on both parents income and the time each spends with the child. Your counties website should have a calculator on there that you can calculate this yourself for free. It sounds like you are not using attorneys, you don't have to, but you need to make sure you understand what actions you are taking. My husband and I have spent THOUSANDS so I can give you some free advice that will really help. If you want to talk, message me and I'll send you my cell and chat with you. Once you have something in place, it is VERY difficult to change so you need to make sure its done right the first time. Good luck!!!
A few things come to mind:
1. As a single mom, you may need to start working full time.
2. What you agreed to as a couple seldom applies when you divorce.
3. You can have "joint custody" and allow him equal say while still being the primary/placement parent...meaning your child would spend more nights in your home than his and he should still be required to provide child support. If you have equal physical custody, he may not have to provide any support. Either way, remember it is child support and does not reduce your responsibility in raising your child.
4. You may be eligible for spousal support since you were only employed part time and was also a part-time SAHM while together.
My knowledge does not necessarily cover your state. Consult a lawyer.
As Everley said, the laws are very different state by state.
In Minnesota, there is a child support calculator online that shows approximately what money would change hands in a divorce with children. It takes into account each parents' income, % of parenting time, daycare expenses, medical coverage, etc.
The best is to talk with a lawyer about your state's laws and your specific situation.
The laws regarding child support (and even the terminology) are completely dependent on your state. None of us on here can give you advice about what constitutes joint custody in your state nor how that will affect your child support payments. Please consult with a lawyer - this is an easy question for someone who knows the laws in your state.
In my state there is no such thing as joint custody. One parent is the primary physical custodial parent, and one or both can have legal responsibility. So, you'd be the primary physical custodial parent. You could both be legal custodial parents (both of you would make decisions about how your daughter is raised). Your child support would be based on how much you make, how much he makes, and how many nights she spends at your house versus his. So if she spent 2 nights a week plus every other weekend, your support would be something like 80% of the possible amount (because she'd be spending 80% of her time with you). When a friend of mine was going through a divorce she used an online calculator created by our state to figure out her support payments. But all of this could be different in MO. Go check with an expert! At the very least, call your county government or state government and ask if they have a website you can use to calculate all this yourself.
When my son got joint custody, he didnt pay any support, although he paid medical insurance, all outside activities, school costs, she paid once in awhile for school lunches, she bought her clothes for her house and my son bought what she wore at his house. Joint custody meaning totally shared, one week mom, one week dad. I wouldn;t think every other weekend and 2 days during the week would be considered joint custody.
go for primary custody since he works 50-55 hours a week, he won't have time for her any way, and he gets regular visitation
You are really trying to decide how much time your daughter gets to spend with her daddy based on how much money you will get from him? Wow!
I think that as long as you are the primary caregiver you still get child support. With his work situation he will never be able to get full custody so double check and give him the basics, every other weekends and some holidays.. He can still make decisions in child care and stuff without having full custody. Good luck!
2 nights a week and every other weekend IS considered joint custody in Missouri. My ex-husband has our son on Wednesday nights (just for dinner and then he brings him home) and every other weekend and guess what? He is considered to have joint custody. He still pays me child support even considered that. It is based on his and my income. We did the sheet that the other mama mentioned in her answer. I would go to the site she directed you to. I was just divorced 3 years ago and that's how they did it then. I'm sure it's still the same. Good luck!!
If you give him "shared parenting" then he will have a say in his daughter 50/50. You should ask for "residential custody"-which means you are her primary care-giver & she resides in your home and you can work out a 'visitation agreement' where she can stay at his house xxx nights out of the week or xx # of days on the wknd, etc. Just understand that when she starts school is this going to upset her routine? Does he live in the same school district as you, etc? What I did w/my divorce is this-I have residential custody, I get to file for her every year on taxes, my ex has visitation every other wknd (b/c I wanted a wknd w/her too) & we rotate holidays. He gets her even years, I get her odd years, etc. If I get her for Thanksgiving that year, he gets x-mas that year & so on. That doesnt mean you cant deviate from the visitation agreement & let her stay over more days than the contract says. Its just a guideline for you two to follow for now. Hopefully he will pay child support-make sure thats set up with the court so someone can keep track. You would be amazed at how soon they start missing payments. Good luck.
I was divorced in Missouri last year. Child support is all based on a calculation table using both of your incomes. Google "Missouri child support calculation", and you will find the sample document. The one out of the STL courts actually does the math for you (on line) once you fill in your numbers. Your attorney should have all of this information for you, so consult him/her for the most accurate information, not this web site!
