Child Having Handwashing Issues

My son has OCD issues and we are seeing a wonderful councelor who came up with some cool strategies to get him to stop obsessing on a topic. We deal with one issue at a time and he has a daily chart we put smiley face stickers on so he can see how well he's doing. It may just be a temporary thing with your daughter, maybe she's stressed about a particular issue and the hand washing thing is something she has "control" over. Whatever it is I wish you luck and hope she gets through it soon.

M.,
At first I thought you were describing my 8yr son to a T, until the constant hadnwashing. My son has the opposite problem. I'm constantly reminding him to wash his hands.
For your daughter, it sounds like maybe something happened at school. Might not be anything to be concerned about. At my son's school for instance, they would have particular topics that they would cover and sometimes even have a guest speaker (doctors, dentists, etc.). Whenever they did, my son would become slightly obsessed for a while about that topic. (They had a dentist and my son began brushing his teeth constantly for a time though he eventually moved on to other interests.)
Maybe your daughter wasn't washing her hands at school enough and the teacher talked to her about the importance of it and now your daughter wants to make sure she's following the "rules". (My son is like that. I can tell him how important something is but if the teacher does, he takes it much more seriously.) Have kids been getting sick alot at school? This may have prompted the teacher to discuss the need for handwashing so as not to pass germs.
If you can't seem to find a cause for the recent behavior, I'd say if it lasts for more than a month, to mention it to your pediatrician.
Hope this helps!

Hi,
Your daughter is probably very bright and has lots of anxiety naturally. This is common in bright kids. My daughter had a weird habit of licking her fingers when she was maybe 10 or so. It lasted for a couple of months and drove me crazy. BUT I tried really hard not to get after her about this because this would only increase her anxiety. I finally couldn't take it anymore and resolved to call the doctor the next day (of course I did not mention this to her). Miraculously, that day, she just stopped doing it!!!!! Weird, huh?

Just try to let this behavior go for awhile....do not say anything about her handwashing.... and maybe do stress relieving activities, such as going for bike rides or walks or have her relax in the tub. Maybe play soothing music....anything you ca think of. Hopefully, she will stop on her own.

Good luck and don't worry too much. It's perfectly normal.

K.

Every child goes through stages where things are important to them. Do not worry. At least it is not that she will not wash. Just humor her a little and when she asks be honest.

OCD is on the spectrum with anxiety... it is a form of anxiety, actually, and she sounds like she could well be in the early stages of it. The one Mom below described it perfectly: Obssessive thoughts, worries, or fears, that a person can't control and then the rituals they do to deal with those thoughts.

My son never liked getting dirty when he was younger. When he was a toddler, he wouldn't feed himself because he didn't want to get dirty and I had to wipe his hands in between bites. I joked to my friends that he was "anal and stubborn" and my mom joked he was "so OCD". Now I have to force him to wash his hands. Instead, he worries and worries about every little change in his life. He'll talk about things that have nothing to do with what's happening in the present, but he's still dwelling on it anyway. He chews his shirts collars to shreds and pokes his socks until they have holes. The handwashing all day is actually a germophobic version of OCD that is pretty extreme, and not the norm. The opposite extreme are the packrat types that can't let any item go for any reason (my son). My son's teacher last year had a teenager daughter with OCD, and she told me it worsened with age, until she was going to a psychiatrist several times a week. She had to take showers just because she got the mail (she said, "well, she only takes 4 or 5 a day now, so it's getting better.") I think her particular issue was sweat. I bet that's a hard compulsion to live with here in Florida. Every weekend her daughter rearranges her room and certain items have to always face the window. I'm praying it never gets that bad with my son, but I'm thinking we're going to need a good child psychologist soon... I can't take him chewing through his clothes anymore.

Sorry this doesn't really offer any advice, other than keep your eyes open... Good luck.

Hi M.,
This is something that you maybe need to keep an eye on. My son does have OCD, and it is so much broader than just the handwashing people think of and the organizing (my son is messy and doesn't wash his hands repeatedly, just once). But, honestly, he did do some of those same behaviors at that age. And the need reassurrance for EVERYTHING. "I just did this or that, is that okay?"
If it starts to interfere with her life in a big way (or yours) or causes her great distress, then it is time to address it with a therapist. My son is doing much better now, but we went through some rough spots. He isn't on any medication, but has learned to deal with it in other ways and is doing really well.
Just to note, OCD is not just about handwashing, tidying or organizing things. It is obessive thoughts about something(germs, fears, irrational things) and compulsive actions (repetivite actions, need for reassurance, rituals). It can also happen when you don't see any compulsions. Most of my son's obsessive thoughts were "bad thoughts" and his compulsion was to confess or tell me about them. "I just thought this or I just did that, is that okay, am I okay?"
This may be a phase or something you need to watch carefully. Dealt with early, people with OCD can learn to handle things just fine. Left to grow and it can become unmanageble quickly.

Sounds to me like the teacher is going overboard with the hand washing issue. I would talk to the teacher before doing anything else. Then I would sit down and explain to my daughter that washing hands are a good thing but you can also wash them to much. She is old enough to understand. But she is hearing about washing hands to much from somewhere. If not school than tv. You need to stop it now before it gets out of hand. My ex boss couldn't even use the drive through at the bank without using a paper towel to hold the container. When we went out to eat she cleaned her hands with sanitizer and then took cleaner out of her purse and cleaned the silverware. She even had her own napkin with her. Her husband said it all started with washing her hands and then just kept getting worse. Good Luck@