Child Advice

Ok I have my 7 yr old son on a pretty nice schedule that he does all by himself. I went and baught weekly charts. It has 3 sections marked Before school, After school, Before bed, It includes Brushing teeth. getting dressed. even breakfast. I put many different types of cereal in baggies. He always has a bowl and a few spoons in the dish washer That way he may choose what to eat and he even half the time makes breakfast for his sister. That way he feels independent.

Bottle of milk before bed. My kids never really did the bottle but i used to give warm water in a bottle after they were asleep to wash out any milk so that it did not cause bottle Rott. Hope it helped Krissy

My kids check in at 7 PM every night for accounting before they brush their teeth and go to bed. They have a massive library where they pick books to read from and read until lights out at 8 PM. Regarding accounting, they have a certain amount of chores and responsibilities they do each day. If they do all of them on time without being asked at all, they get double pay. If they need a reminder, but finish them on time, they get regular pay. If they do them late, they break even. If they don't do them, then they pay a fee. If they get over a certain amount in debt, they can either work on Saturdays on special projects until the balance is zero or take their things to the consignment shop and pay the fees back that way. This is to help them know the sting of debt and bankruptsy before they can sign up for credit cards. There is no shaming in our system, just a lot of excitement for the growth they are experiencing.

At accounting time we make goals for the next day, they get praised for stengths. They decide their own strategies to improve. I love this system because I don't have to chase them around all day being a back up brain for them.

We have a family bank account for each of them on our computer that they can make deposits in with their daddy on Saturdays. He pays them 12% interest annually. Our goal is to help them learn how they can make their money make money for them.

There are lots of great routines to invent and so many to find out about through research. Our system works great with our family size. We have 5 children and a lot to juggle. I hope an idea or two I wrote seemed at least interesting.

Some of what we do is adapted from a book called Teaching Your Children Responsibility by Richard and Linda Eyre.

How old is your son? Regardless of how old he is though, you need to make sure that his gums and teeth are cleansed before sleeping.

My daughter has a checkoff list of all the tasks she needs to complete in the morning and night. We started this before she was reading well, so we used a lot of pictures. But even still, she needed a lot of encouragement and redirection. Positive reinforcement has worked as well.

We use tickets. We establish how many tickets she will earn for things we are happy she does--pick up after herself, play outside, read a book, is nice to her sisters, etc. Then, every 2 weeks she gets to go "shopping" with her tickets.

We've heard that positive reinforcement is good and in our family it truly has shown to be productive.

I have a thought for you about the bottle- My first daughter was a milk before bed in a bottle junkie! My aunt, who is a pediatric nurse, told me to start watering down the milk ounce by ounce ever week until it's eventually just water. In other words, if your son is drinking 4 ounces of milk every night before bed, start in week one with 3oz. milk/ 1oz. water. Next week make it 2oz. milk and 2oz. of water, and so on....3oz water/ 1oz milk and then finally water! It worked like a charm for us! Good luck!

Hi C.,

With my daughter, who is now 11, I started with letting her know exactly what I need her to do in order to get ready and what I thought would be the best order to do it. I got her up a little earlier to go through the morning routine with her until I saw how much time it would actually take her. Same for the night. Then, as time went on she fell into the routine - for the most part. Some days were better than others. Now that she'll 11 and "going through changes" we are running into new obstacles but I'm hoping she'll get back into the routine. It's best to be consistent, as much as possible

As for your son, I have a 4 yr old and up until he weened totally from the bottle, I also gave him a bottle every night before bed, but I never laid him down with the bottle. The only major negative I heard about that was that it promotes tooth decay. We always brush our teeth (ever since they were teeny) so that was never a problem. I did the same with my daughter. Both gave up the bottle in their own time and neither seem worse or better off than kids I know who left it, or were forced to leave it, sooner.

Hope that helps. Good Luck!

About where to go: Have you been to Vasquez Rocks Park? Your kids are a bit young to appreciate the stories about the bandit Vasquez, but they will have fun climbing on the rocks.
Go out the 14 freeway to Agua Dulce Road.

My girls loved going there.

We used to use a sticker chart. It worked great for our son.

As for the night time bottle, how old is your son? You could try having your son drink some milk and a healthy snack at the table before heading up for bed. This worked for us.

Good luck.
Dawn

1 - I found a small white board that is magnetic. I sectioned it off into 4 sections. AM To DO, AM Done, PM To Do and PM Done. Then I wrote her chores down on white magnets. She is in control of her morning and night now and she knows what needs to be done. Instead of me nagging her on each chore I ask her if she checked her board. She does most things without having to look now but she has it to rely on.

2 - My concern about the milk before bed would be tooth rot. I would lalk to your doctor and dentist about that.

Good luck!

Hi C.. We seem to be on the same boat! My daughter is also 7 and I was looking
for ways to get her started on a daily routine. My sister gave me the idea of a rewards
chart. On this chart list the different chores or routines that you would like your
daughter to do. Each time she has done her duties, you have her check it off. After
a certain amount of accumilated check marks, comes a award. What I have listed on my
daughters chart for example is: *56-35*checks=an hour on the computer to play her
favorite disney games. *45-25*checks=a dinner and dessert of her choice. *30-12*checks=a surprise worth $10 or whatever dollar amount you choose. My daughter is a really good girl! She loves the rewards chart idea and she is always excited to get the check done!

As for my son, he is 2 years old and he still has to have his milk before bed. But since he
is 2, I give him his milk in a sippy cup. Then, I make sure that after he's done drinking,
I brush his teeth. I don't know how old your son is, but if he's old enough
to drink in a sippy cup then try it! He probably is like my son and only needs the
comfort of drinking milk to help him sleep better. If he is still too young and needs a
bottle, try giving water instead. Remember to be careful of baby bottle tooth decay!
Either way, milk is good for the kids! Just don't forget to brush their teeth. Hope I've
helped a little...Your Aloha Friend, R.

Hi C.!
I have a 2 1/2 yr old son and he also had been taking a bottle in bed for nap/nite time.
People can be really harsh about tooth decay, etc, but it worked and we all need sleep. Here's how I look at it, these are his baby teeth-we brush em everyday, there shouldn't be any serious damage. I don't know how old your son is, but mine is starting to say goodbye to the "ba bas" with my coaxing of course. I've told him he's a big boy now and we are going to share his old ba bas with the baby, because babies need ba bas. ( the baby being my sister's little one ) So far we drink one bottle before we get in bed and then say good night to it and put it in the sink. I was really surprised how easy this worked, I was expecting a lot of tears! Anyhow, that's our first step, next we'll stop them at naptime completely and then a little ceremony of passing them onto my sister's baby, at which time I will applaud him for being such a big boy and let him pick out a big boy toy, etc.
Now I know my sisters baby won't use the bottles but she will play along for my son's sake.
If you know anyone at all with a baby you could do this, if not, perhaps you could take them to a babies r us, the workers should play along... You could let him say good bye to the bottles and put them in the bag, carry them, etc.
Hope it's helpful,
M.

Dear C.,

Go for it! This is something I wanted to do, but regret never following though on. The card idea is a good one - The thing I was going to do was to make a chart and have them check "jobs" off after they were done . . .

Good luck!
B.

Dear C.,

First about the bottle; my almost 5 year old son still takes a bottle of milk before bedtime. I have absolutly no problem with it and honestly can't understand why some people find this practice so unacceptable. My son has no cavities by the way.

As for your daughter, are you having a hard time getting her up in the morning and getting her to go to bed at night, or do you just want her to start helping around the house? My 7 year old daughter goes to sleep every night between 8 and 8:30. She usually does homework right after dinner and then it's time to get ready for bed. I have no problem getting her to brush her teeth or put on PJ's, but I do have a hard time getting her to clean up her room. It's just impossible actually. I usually clean up the room with her helping, sort of, and complaining loudly. I find it's not easy to get her to help around the house.

Hope this helps!
H.

The thing about cards or reward charts is that it requires as much of your time in reminding them as the cards and charts themselves.

I have done both with my daughter and yeah they are great ideas but I always found myself reminding her to look at her cards or asking if she had done everything on her list.

What worked for me was when I actually threw out the cards and just started getting up and going through the routine over and over with her. I didn't say "now do this, or that" I just went into her room and handed her her clothes for the day, after she was dressed I helped her make her bed and put away her pajamas. Then we'd go brush her hair, make breakfast together (clean it up together too), pack her lunch & backpack, then I'd go to the bathroom and brush my teeth while she brushed hers. I also followed the same routines myself, ie. I got up, dressed, and made my bed before going into her room. I think just by watching me she got into the routine on her own. Now this last week I have been very sick and unable to get out of bed very easily. When I came upstairs expecting to have to get her ready she was already sitting on the couch with her backpack and shoes waiting for school to start. She's 8. (she also set the timer on the microwave so she would know when to leave for school in case I wasn't awake yet!)

As far as the bottle. I'm one who doesn't really care what people do with their own children. I will only say that giving him a bottle to take with him to bed is just one more bad habit you'll have to break later. If you can live with that then so be it. If he is only drinking a bottle and then going to bed that seems pretty normal to me. My girls 8 & 2 still couldn't sleep through the night if they didn't have something within 30 minutes of going to bed.

Depending on the age of your son I just heard from two different people no more milk at night. My friend is up with her 2 yr old giving her milk and it is rotting her daughters teeth. Also, Joan Lundon was just on tv talking about the same thing. So if you give it to them before bed make sure teeth are brushed and if its middle of the night change it to water.

Hi C. -
I'm new to MamaSource and I'm just finding out how this works. It seems I can't see if someone has already said whatever I have to say until I've posted my reply, so I hope I won't be redundant.
I don't have any ideas on forming a good routine for 7-year-olds, I wish I did and I'm looking forward to seeing what the other mamas suggested. I have an 8-year-old and I've never established a routine for her (or for myself, for that matter).
My comment is on the night-time bottle for your son and I guess what I really have to offer is support. We adopted our daughter, so there was no question of breastfeeding. She was bottle fed and always had a bottle of warm milk before bed at night. That went on until she was at least 4 1/2, maybe even 5. After that, I put the milk into a sippy cup. In her case, we were lucky -- she has extremely hard teeth, and it didn't cause cavities. From age 6 I told her she could have some milk at night, but she'd have to brush her teeth afterward. You don't say how old your son is, but personally I don't see anything wrong with the bottle at night thing. Also, my daughter never had an ear infection. Perhaps that was because I never allowed her to lie flat with the bottle. I would even rock her at age 4 at night. It was a very sweet time, and we saw no reason to cut it off if she still wanted that.
As to ideas for places to go -- I have two suggestions. Have you heard of a web site called GoCityKids.com? They list everything, and I've found lots of great stuff there. Pretty much anything I can suggest you'll find there anyway, but a neat craft workshop place I know of called Tinker is in Woodland Hills or maybe Van Nuys.
Good luck with everything. I hope what I've said helps in some way.